Erotic Humiliation - 8/14/09

[12:10] Pirate Russell: Anyway, let's get going here.....
[12:10] Pirate Russell: OK, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc., to help with the Horrendous lag
[12:10] Pirate Russell: Don't wory about that or this
[12:10] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[12:10] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 1/2 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[12:11] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[12:11] Pirate Russell: .
[12:11] Pirate Russell: Erotic humiliation: The consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby, at least, one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another;
[12:11] Pirate Russell: often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself, as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought,
[12:11] Pirate Russell: regardless of the nature of the actual activity.
[12:12] Pirate Russell: Consider that the desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse,the idea of "getting caught" such as with having sex in the garden or woods, or mild rape fantasies (where the person imagines themselves to be forced in a way they would like,
[12:12] Pirate Russell: and which must be seen as completely different to any real form of rape), are mild emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability and control.
[12:12] Pirate Russell: However, for most people such ideas remain a fantasy and they would have strong reservations about it being made public, or engaged in with a partner for real, however erotic the idea may be.
[12:12] Pirate Russell: If a person does reveal their fetish to their partners, this usually is a result of a huge amount of trust invested in them, due to the similarly huge psychological struggle they would have had to have gone through to tell them.
[12:13] Pirate Russell: Actually goes for anything this personal, not just a fetish or THIS fetish
[12:13] Pirate Russell: Many people have the worry of being ridiculed for their fetish, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic.
[12:13] Pirate Russell: Therefore, many people use online humiliation (where the humiliator and others are involved via the internet using chat, websites, SL, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
[12:14] Pirate Russell: Humiliation can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public.
[12:14] Pirate Russell: Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online.
[12:14] Pirate Russell: The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking is that the sought-after effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.
[12:15] Pirate Russell: While mild or moderate humiliation is not an uncommon part of BDSM or other sexual roleplay, humiliation play can be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner.
[12:15] Pirate Russell: Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safeword.
[12:15] Pirate Russell: This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on the participants.
[12:15] Pirate Russell: .
[12:15] Pirate Russell: ~Humiliation is not the same as dominance, as the devotee is not necessarily seeking to be ordered about.
[12:16] Pirate Russell: Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the devotee seeks the humiliation over and above the means; for example, when being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved.
[12:16] ***DS***: i'm paying attention, *smiles, just been hexed by this chair
[12:16] Pirate Russell: Actually the TP didn't clear the pose at the forum
[12:16] ***DS***: ahh, thanks
[12:17] Pirate Russell: As such, it encompasses a range of paraphilia (abnormal sexual activity), in particular foot fetish or shoe fetish, body worship, spanking, bondage and most BDSM styles.
[12:18] Pirate Russell: It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex, or it can be complex, involving roleplay or public displays of subservience.
[12:18] Pirate Russell: MMmmm.... Public Displays......
[12:18] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: ***BH*** (2m)
[12:18] ***KR***: there is something very erotic about it
[12:19] Pirate Russell: ***DS***, ***KR***, this is My ***BH***
[12:19] ***KR***: hello***BH***
[12:19] Pirate Russell: Come kneel @ My feet, girl
[12:19] ***DS***: ahh
[12:19] Pirate Russell: Speaking of public displays...
[12:19] Pirate Russell: It can be for a set period of time (a "scene") or as an ongoing facet of a relationship.
[12:19] Pirate Russell: The "humiliation" is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, symbiotic, a relationship beneficial to each charged, by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act.
[12:20] Pirate Russell: It is they who invest specific acts, objects or body-parts with a humiliating aspect.
[12:20] ***BH***: hi Mistress
[12:20] Pirate Russell: .
[12:20] ***BH***: hello Miss ***KR***
[12:20] Pirate Russell: ~ Means of Humiliation
[12:20] Pirate Russell: Sexual humiliation is very open-ended. Broadly, it can be divided into verbal and physical aspects.
[12:20] Pirate Russell: *Verbal aspects of this might include:
[12:20] Pirate Russell: ** Mockery, derision and ridicule.
[12:20] Pirate Russell: ** Verbal belittlement, such as "slave", "boy", "girl", "missy", "pet".
[12:20] Pirate Russell: ** Insults and verbal abuse, such as "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "worthless".
[12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Degrading references, such as "slut", "tart", "bitch" and "whore".
[12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Slighting of body parts or behaviors, such as disparaging or cruel references to breasts, facial appearance, genitalia or genital size, bottom, and slighting of mannerisms such as walking, responsiveness, standard of self-care.
[12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Having to ask permission for everyday activities such as going to the toilet, spending money or eating.
[12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Small breasts humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult female's breasts, or her inability to please a man (and by implication her essential worthlessness as a woman), and her breasts become objects of fun.
[12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Small penis humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult male's genitals, or his inability to please a woman (and by implication his essential worthlessness as a man), and his penis becomes an object of fun.
[12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Forced repetition, such as being obliged to repeat back commands to confirm them.
[12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Forced flattery, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant's physical and personality traits.
[12:22] Pirate Russell: Isn't that right, ***BH***?
[12:23] Pirate Russell: ** Reduction to Human animal roleplay or human pet, referring to these individuals as pet, dog, girl, bitch, or making them eat and drink from pet food and water bowls.
[12:23] Pirate Russell: .
[12:23] Pirate Russell: *Physical Humiliation:
[12:23] Pirate Russell: Some sexual humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation and embarrassment.
[12:23] Pirate Russell: Physical and tangible aspects might include:
[12:24] Pirate Russell: ** Wearing of external signs of "ownership", such as a collar.
[12:24] Pirate Russell reaches down and tugs on ***BH***'s collar
[12:24] Pirate Russell: ** Forced to wear a gag and/or restraints on the body.
[12:24] Pirate Russell: ** Prohibitions or restrictions on clothing, even in public. For females a common example is being mandated to only wear revealing bikinis or lingerie. For men, this may include feminizing or cross-dressing.
[12:24] Pirate Russell: Both sexes may be expected to go completely nude, with decorative objects such as collars, bands, tiaras, or cuffs being the only exceptions.
[12:24] ***BH***: yes Mistress
[12:25] Pirate Russell pulls ***BH***'s shirt off
[12:25] ***BH*** eases a little closer releive the tug
[12:25] ***KR***: yes
[12:25] Pirate Russell: ** Having friends, family or strangers aware of or witnessing one's treatment (i.e.: public humiliation).
[12:25] Pirate Russell: Like y'all watching her shorts come down
[12:26] ***BH*** blushes
[12:26] Pirate Russell: ** Use of chastity belts or other means of erotic sexual denial.
[12:26] ***KR***: ***BH*** is branded?
[12:26] Pirate Russell: no, that's Gorean, she's tattood
[12:26] Pirate Russell: sweetie show them your tatts!
[12:26] ***KR***: same thing
[12:26] Pirate Russell: No, it's not
[12:27] ***KR***: denoted ownship, does it not
[12:27] Pirate Russell: Yes, but branding is scarring, tattoos use ink
[12:27] ***KR***: understand
[12:27] Pirate Russell: ** Suppressed freedom of movement. This may include never being able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission, and may be forbidden to leave the house or 'dungeon' in general for the duration of slavery or servitude.
[12:27] ***KR***: cute
[12:27] ***BH*** spins with cheeks getting redder
[12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Frequent performance of passive-aggressive sexual services for the dominant, such as erotic massage, cunnilingus, analingus, or fellatio, without expectations of reciprocal acts or intercourse.
[12:28] ***DS***: admires ***BH***'s form from his chair
[12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Specific rituals and affectations to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as, walking a pace behind the dominant, only speaking when spoken to, kneeling or prostrating in front of the dominant when expecting orders,
[12:28] Pirate Russell: eating only after others or on the floor, low status place to sleep, and a wide variety of body worship activities such as kissing and/or licking the dominant's feet, boots, buttocks, anus, vulva etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience, shame, or eve
[12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Spanking, whipping, restraint or other BDSM activities such as cock and ball torture (CBT).
[12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Performance of menial tasks or abusive workload, such as cleaning the floors with a toothbrush.
[12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Detailed punishments for a variety of 'infractions' or misbehavior, such as having to stand in a corner facing a wall for several hours, flogging or whipping, reduced rations, or forced exercise.
[12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Roleplaying "lower status" beings, such as animals (for example dog or horse) or babies (see human animal roleplay, pup-play and adult baby play).
[12:29] Pirate Russell: That would be an EVEN LOWER status!
[12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Ejaculating, farting, defecating, spitting, slapping or urinating on the bottom's body, especially the face.
[12:30] Pirate Russell: ** Erotic objectification, where the bottom is cast in the role of an object, such as a footstool.
[12:30] Pirate Russell: ** Cuckoldry, taking on a third party lover to humiliate the bottom as an expression of the relationship between the top and the bottom.
[12:30] Pirate Russell: ** Having to ask permission to orgasm during sex or masturbation.
[12:30] Pirate Russell: The list is virtually endless, it all depends on what the bottom DOESN'T LIKE!
[12:31] Pirate Russell: Sexual roleplaying may or may not involve humiliation. For example, one person might play the part of a dog because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top will emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal.
[12:31] Pirate Russell: Whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of their inner animal or playful spirit.
[12:31] Pirate Russell: .
[12:31] Pirate Russell: ~ Psychology of Humiliation
[12:31] Pirate Russell: Humiliation in general touches strong emotional buttons, the more so when it becomes sexualized.
[12:31] Pirate Russell grabs ***BH***'s hair and turns her towards the students
[12:32] Pirate Russell: Because of this, consent and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication is needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive.
[12:32] Pirate Russell: For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
[12:32] ***BH*** whimpers and follows the tug
[12:32] Pirate Russell: Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualized by association with arousal,
[12:32] Pirate Russell: and also may be associated with exhibitionism in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.
[12:33] Pirate Russell: For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction or getting over sexual inhibitions.
[12:33] Pirate Russell: isn't that right, slut?
[12:33] Pirate Russell giggles
[12:33] Pirate Russell: For example, between gay people, terms usually associated with homophobia may be used, such as "faggot" or "lesbo."
[12:33] Pirate Russell: As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene.
[12:33] Pirate Russell: Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are not uncommon.
[12:34] ***BH*** blushes and nods
[12:34] Pirate Russell: Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play and age play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish.
[12:34] Pirate Russell: .
[12:34] Pirate Russell: ~ Online Humiliation - Why W/we're here!
[12:34] Pirate Russell: Online humiliation is the desire to be seen in a sexually embarrassing context via the internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world.
[12:34] Pirate Russell: * Common methods of online humiliation include:
[12:34] Pirate Russell: ** Public pillory
[12:34] Pirate Russell: ** Embarrassing photographic or video assignments for submissives
[12:34] Pirate Russell: ** The requirement for submissives to keep online journals, detailing personal information such as masturbation frequency and details
[12:35] Pirate Russell: ** Verbal abuse
[12:35] Pirate Russell: ** Publicly bidding for items that reveal their fetishes
[12:35] Pirate Russell: ** Forcing them to go, or taking them to places where nudity isn't the norm
[12:35] ***KR***: this is all so true
[12:35] Pirate Russell: Is girl naked today, IRL?
[12:35] Pirate Russell: ** Forcing them to service others in public or private.
[12:35] Pirate Russell: ** Leaving them bound in public places, dressed or not.
[12:35] Pirate Russell: Again, the list is endless, it all depends upon what your submissive finds humiliating, embarassing, or degrading.
[12:36] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[12:36] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday 7a, Tuesday & Friday 12:00pm
[12:36] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College
[12:36] Pirate Russell: Questions? Comments??
[12:36] ***KR***: Ican not beleive how you have hit upon so much, that seems so true
[12:37] ***DS***: it seems to me like you've covered it all, but i do have a couple questions:
[12:37] Pirate Russell: Knows good crap on the Internet, when I steal it
[12:37] Pirate Russell: go ahead ***DS***!
[12:37] ***DS***: 1 - i believe in trying to look as real as possible
[12:38] ***DS***: i know of slave chores on xstreet, but is there a good brutilizer
[12:38] ***DS***: ??
[12:38] Pirate Russell: Brutalizer?
[12:39] ***DS***: a good face slapper, or degradation HUD
[12:39] Pirate Russell: Ahh, that I don't know
[12:39] Pirate Russell: I have this chair
[12:39] ***DS***: ok, 2nd question
[12:39] MadScience Durance Captive Chair v1.0: CISS: This device needs to briefly test its animations: please grant permission for it to animate your avatar.
[12:39] ***BH*** whimpers'
[12:40] ***DS***: where in HOV is a good place for public humiliation?
[12:40] Pirate Russell: Dance floor.
[12:40] Pirate Russell: Front door
[12:40] ***DS***: thanks that what i figured
[12:40] Pirate Russell: ANYplace where there's lots of people. BUT....
[12:40] ***DS***: yes?
[12:40] Pirate Russell: Lots of people = Lots of LAG!
[12:41] ***DS***: yes of course
[12:41] Pirate Russell snaps some cuffs on ***BH***'s wrists
[12:42] Pirate Russell: Have a seat in the wood chair ***BH***
[12:42] ***BH***: yes Mistress
[12:43] ***DS*** takes note of madscience laboratories
[12:43] Pirate Russell locks thecuffs behind her
[12:43] ***BH***'s cuff (r forearm) whispers: ***BH***'s ***BH***'s cuff (r forearm) has been locked by Pirate Russell (Type Lock).
[12:43] ***BH***'s cuff(r lower leg) whispers: Pirate Russell has taken ***BH***'s keys from her ***BH***'s cuff(r lower leg).
[12:43] Pirate's property whispers: Pirate Russell has taken ***BH***'s keys from her Pirate's property.
[12:43] ***KR***: Thank you Mistress Russell
[12:44] Pirate Russell: There's stuff I can do to her in this chair that she won't like....
[12:44] Pirate Russell can slap girl's face
[12:45] ***BH***: OWWWW
[12:45] Pirate Russell: Or her tits....
[12:45] ***BH***: please stop Mistress
[12:46] Pirate Russell: or girl's ass!
[12:46] Pirate Russell: This is just one piece of furnature, there's rpolly Millions of them out there!
[12:46] Pirate Russell: furnIture and Prolly.. too
[12:47] ***DS*** thiinks to himself, "a good item for my collection" and smiles
[12:47] Pirate Russell reaches down and rubs girl's ass
[12:48] ***BH*** moans soft and buries her face in the chair
[12:49] Pirate Russell spreads girl's cheeks, and pushes her legs apart, "And this is good for humiliation, too.... "
[12:51] Pirate Russell thinks we went a place ***KR***din't wanna go
[12:51] ***DS***: ah, dang we lost ***KR***, hmmm, oh well
[12:51] Pirate Russell: Anyway, ***DS***, that's about it... he he
[12:52] ***DS***: thank you again, and thank you ***BH*** this has been an excellent lecture and i'm glad i attended
[12:53] ***BH*** blushes and stammers" Your welcome"
[12:53] ***DS***: just a small gesture to you both for your time and efforts
[12:53] Pirate Russell: NOT necessary, but appreciated
[12:53] ***BH***: thank You
[12:54] ***DS***: i'll be seeing you around and 'till next time, i'll see if i can better hone my skills, i know but it's a small token for this vast knowledge, thanx again
[12:54] ***DS***: toodle loo,
[12:55] ***DS*** similes and waves goodbye
[12:55] Pirate Russell: Okie doke
[12:55] Pirate Russell: ciao for now