How To Find A 'Good" Dominant - 6/30/09

[2009/06/30 12:08] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/06/30 12:08] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 1/2 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/06/30 12:08] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: How does a new sub (male or female) ascertain the difference between a controlling and domineering person and a person who is a Dominant?
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: Are there tell-tale signs?
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: Is there a series of steps one can take to determine what type of person they are communicating with?
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: Is it trial and error or just a "gut" feeling?
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: And what about the "protective" Dominant who gains the confidences of new and inexperienced subs, only to want to eventually play with, or "train" them? Is this okay and are there telltale signs here, too?
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: These are excellent, thought-provoking questions of enormous importance to anyone searching for a partner.
[2009/06/30 12:10] Pirate Russell: Whether it's a life-partner or a play partner one seeks, even the most dedicated, masochistic or service-oriented submissive wants their needs to matter to their partner - for a play session or for a lifetime.
[2009/06/30 12:11] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/30 12:11] Pirate Russell: I think the biggest thing for new subs to remember is that it's even MORE important for a Dominant partner to
[2009/06/30 12:11] Pirate Russell: UNDERSTAND you and your needs and then to make decisions with that understanding in mind than it is in a vanilla partner.
[2009/06/30 12:11] Pirate Russell: Here's an example that just came up today with me and my husband. We are in the process of selling some property. Something came up in this transaction that increases our risk but also the potential pay-off.
[2009/06/30 12:12] Pirate Russell: This is 'stolen' from the Internet, so this is NOT My husband and I
[2009/06/30 12:12] Pirate Russell: I, conservative by nature, want to go with the sure but safe alternative; Master wants to take the risk.
[2009/06/30 12:12] Pirate Russell: Because in our relationship, Master has the power to make that decision no matter what I think or say, we had words about it.
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: One of the things Master said that I found reassuring was this:
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: "Don't you think that decisions like this weigh heavier on me precisely because I make them not only for myself, but for all of us?"
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: And that's what you look for in a Dominant.
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: Class Dismissed
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: JUST KIDDDING
[2009/06/30 12:13] ***MM***: *Giggles insanely*
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: Somebody who appreciates the weight of responsibility of what it means to make decisions FOR YOU as a submissive,
[2009/06/30 12:13] Pirate Russell: whether that be how many cane strokes you get or how long you stay in ropes, or what decision is made in a business transaction that will affect your financial wellbeing.
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: How do you know if S/He's got it?
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: S/he demonstrates it, over and over and over in things big and small.
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: YOUR NEEDS MATTER.
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: How you feel matters. What you think matters. Your wellbeing is as important to the Dominant as their own. It doesn't mean you as the sub run the relationship - far from it.
[2009/06/30 12:14] Pirate Russell: If I were running things, we'd for sure be taking the safer route in this transaction!
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: It just means that the Dominant never acts from his/her power base without considering the effect that action will have on their submissive.
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: I truly believe that my Master makes decisions will real thoughtfulness and consideration.
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: Even if his choice turns out not to have the better outcome, I know he made the decision thoughtfully.
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: I've already psychologically surrendered to his will in this matter. I trust Him. He's earned it.
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/30 12:15] Pirate Russell: How does a submissive discover this in a potential Master? TIME. It takes time. Lots of time. And in that time you spend together, you ask yourself these questions:
[2009/06/30 12:16] Pirate Russell: 1. Do I feel safe with this person? Safe physically, emotionally, spiritually?
[2009/06/30 12:16] Pirate Russell: 2. Do they do everything they say will they do? Do they follow through with promises? Are they dependable? Can you count on them?
[2009/06/30 12:16] Pirate Russell: 3. Are they interested in you? In your thoughts, emotions, fears, and desires? Can you be increasingly honest with them without fear of their anger or of their abandonment?
[2009/06/30 12:16] Pirate Russell: 4. Do they admit mistakes and take responsibility for them, try to fix them without blaming you for the problem or indulging in excessive self-recrimination?
[2009/06/30 12:17] Pirate Russell: 5. Can you laugh and be silly together or do you feel stiff and constrained in stereotypical roles?
[2009/06/30 12:17] Pirate Russell: 6. How a Dominant behaves during a Public Scene is no guarantee that s/he has the capacity to lead you in life - or even to the nearest exit of the public play space in the event of a fire!
[2009/06/30 12:17] Pirate Russell: If it's a good Scene, it means they know how to do a good Scene. No more, no less.
[2009/06/30 12:18] Pirate Russell: (This is a hard one for panting, starving newbies who are driven nearly mad with submissive frenzy to grasp - that not every hot-at-first-glance Dominant is a good Dominant.
[2009/06/30 12:18] Pirate Russell: I know something about submissive frenzies, having suffered a really bad case of it for nearly 3 years when I first came out. It makes you nearly blind with lust and need.)
[2009/06/30 12:18] ***KF*** looks around...
[2009/06/30 12:18] Pirate Russell: 7. Take your time.
[2009/06/30 12:19] Pirate Russell: 8. Beware the Dominant who wants to cut you off from your established ties and friendships.
[2009/06/30 12:19] Pirate Russell: 9. Take your time.
[2009/06/30 12:19] Pirate Russell: 10. If your Dominant makes you afraid sometimes, makes sure the fear is sex-tinged and more good than bad. You should never literally fear for your life, health, or sanity.
[2009/06/30 12:19] Pirate Russell: 11. Take your time.
[2009/06/30 12:20] Pirate Russell: 12. While it's wonderful to feel -truly feel - that you are another's property, you should always feel like VALUED property. You should never be made to feel truly worthless.
[2009/06/30 12:20] Pirate Russell: (Even intense humiliation scenes are not about really being worthless - they are about feeling humble, small, exposed, yes - but not truly worthless!)
[2009/06/30 12:21] Pirate Russell: 13. Take your time.
[2009/06/30 12:21] Pirate Russell: 14. Your Dominant should never make you feel that you have to "be careful" or he'll leave you or hurt.
[2009/06/30 12:21] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/30 12:21] Pirate Russell: These are some things that submissives, especially new submissives need to keep in mind, and use to select a competent and compassionate Dominant.
[2009/06/30 12:22] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/06/30 12:22] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday & Friday at 12:00pm (Noon) SLT
[2009/06/30 12:22] Pirate Russell: All classes are posted in Search/Events and look for College.
[2009/06/30 12:22] Pirate Russell: Questions? Comments??
[2009/06/30 12:22] ***JY***: Above all, a good Master/Mistress is always in control of Him/Herself.S/he does not rant or rave, and never punishes when angry.On the rare times that temper overwhelms Him/Her, S/he walks away until S/he regains balance.After all, how can a Dom/me control His/Her sub if S/he can't control Him/Herself?
[2009/06/30 12:23] ***VP*** nods
[2009/06/30 12:23] ***VP***: Too true
[2009/06/30 12:23] Pirate Russell: True, ***JY***! As for punishing, I correct, I don't punish
[2009/06/30 12:23] ***VP***: The first dictum for any Dominant is "KNow thyself."
[2009/06/30 12:24] ***VP***: And then,, be willing to admit you don't know all that much.
[2009/06/30 12:24] ***VP***: lol
[2009/06/30 12:24] ***VP***: Reevaluate...and correct your own behavious.
[2009/06/30 12:24] Pirate Russell: I think that's true for submissives, too, ***VP***, though that leads us WAY off topic
[2009/06/30 12:25] ***VP***: I think the one word that I would use to give any aspiring Dominant is "respect" and understand there is a soul in the submissive.
[2009/06/30 12:26] Pirate Russell: Yes, but Respect is earned, not demanded!
[2009/06/30 12:26] ***JY***: The best Master/Mistress knows S/he is human.S/he realizes S/he will make mistakes,and is quick to apologize when S/he doesS/he knows S/he won't be thought of as any less "Dommly" because of an apology. On the flip side, S/he realizes that others will make mistakes also, and even though S/he may punish for the mistake, S/he accepts an apology graciously and puts the event in the past.this is SO important
[2009/06/30 12:26] ***TR***: IN SL ppl tend to forget all that stuff yup
[2009/06/30 12:26] ***TR***: it's all a game to most here
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***VP***: Yes...unfortunately.
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: What I really don't like in SL
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: is ppl having to show
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: as much as they can
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: what they are about
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: while it should be
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: smth between a few ppl
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: or 2
[2009/06/30 12:27] ***TR***: :)
[2009/06/30 12:27] Pirate Russell: AND, ***JY***, factor in the SL slow/bug factor to increase frustration!
[2009/06/30 12:28] ***VP*** smiles
[2009/06/30 12:28] ***VP***: God, yes.
[2009/06/30 12:28] ***JY***: a good Dom/me is Compassionate. S/he cares about her sub(s), as well as their friends and family. S/he taks time to listen and respond to the needs of those S/he claims to care for. S/he isn't selfish, and doesn't have the illusion that the world revolves around Him or Her.
[2009/06/30 12:29] Pirate Russell: ***JY***, are you quoting My other Dominant clas?
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***JY***: No i am not
[2009/06/30 12:29] Pirate Russell: class
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***JY***: first class with you
[2009/06/30 12:29] Pirate Russell: he he, pretty close! LOL
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***JY***: I teach classes at another Place
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***PH***: is that a Dom or a partner ?
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***JY***: i have for about 15 years
[2009/06/30 12:29] ***TR***: <3
[2009/06/30 12:29] Pirate Russell: I have positively snapped at one of My girls, because I told her 33 seconds ago to take off her top. SL didn't cooperate, she did!
[2009/06/30 12:30] Pirate Russell: In a lot of cases, ***PH****, it's the same thing
[2009/06/30 12:30] ***PH***: nope agree to disagree on that one ?
[2009/06/30 12:30] Pirate Russell: Surely
[2009/06/30 12:31] ***PH***: sub/dom is not
[2009/06/30 12:31] ***PH***: partnership is about being equal in the definition :)
[2009/06/30 12:31] ***PH***: and bases on that
[2009/06/30 12:31] Pirate Russell disagrees
[2009/06/30 12:31] ***PH***: agree :)
[2009/06/30 12:31] Pirate Russell: There can be uneaual partnerships
[2009/06/30 12:31] Pirate Russell: er unequal
[2009/06/30 12:31] ***PH***: and they are sub/dom
[2009/06/30 12:31] Pirate Russell: Most Definately
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: as most of the partherships are in rl
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: not even by wanting
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: just are
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: in sub/dom that is defined and both or several partners are agreeing on playing a 'role'
[2009/06/30 12:32] Pirate Russell: But there are Majority and Minority partnerships all over the business world
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: yes
[2009/06/30 12:32] Pirate Russell: As much as My RL hubby and I try to be equal, it's not possible
[2009/06/30 12:32] ***PH***: and we all do :)
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***PH***: why not ?
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: you should strive to your balance
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***PH***: if you want to :)
[2009/06/30 12:33] Pirate Russell: Strive, yes, achieve, almost impossible
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***PH***: ALMOST :)
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: do you agree that
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***PH***: not on the same aspects but in all around
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: the balance of Dom/sub
[2009/06/30 12:33] Pirate Russell: But equal can't be the rule, if it's so close to impossible
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: in different aspects
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: or even different times in a relationship
[2009/06/30 12:33] ***TR***: can shift
[2009/06/30 12:34] Pirate Russell: That was My next point ***TR***, that it's all fluid, ever changing
[2009/06/30 12:34] ***TR***: can a guy that gets his a?* kicked in the kitchen by his wife coz he's a bad book
[2009/06/30 12:34] ***PH***: have too - for example he needs to wash dishes sometimes for me to let him dom me ^^
[2009/06/30 12:34] ***TR***: cook*
[2009/06/30 12:34] Pirate Russell: Personal relationships HAVE to do that.
[2009/06/30 12:34] ***TR***: not be ultimately dominant in bed 30 mins later
[2009/06/30 12:35] ***TR***: as always Pun puts it a little less eloquently than I did :p
[2009/06/30 12:35] ***JY***: If W/we are closed to change or to learning new things ( ie: thinking we know or understand all ) that is a dangerous point to be in
[2009/06/30 12:35] ***PH***: but sub/dom is the most personal thing you really can do to you (to admit where your balance focuses more) and to the other - that allows you o see who she/he really is
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***PH***: you cant get more intimate
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***PH***: no matter which role you play
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***PH***: 'role'
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***TR***: I would even go so far as to say
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***TR***: you need some balance to be good Dom/sub couple :)
[2009/06/30 12:36] Pirate Russell: you can always get more intimate, I've been with hubby 10 yrs, and there's still stuff I can share that he doesn't know.... some of those 'shifts'.. little though they may be. Adding to intimacy
[2009/06/30 12:36] ***PH***: (blimy my avi is sleepy on this poseball sorry for that)
[2009/06/30 12:37] Pirate Russell: ((I have begged and begged for new poses and steps, you see what I have after being her e over a year!))
[2009/06/30 12:37] ***PH***: :D
[2009/06/30 12:37] ***PH***: its not me its a poseball!
[2009/06/30 12:37] ***PH***: :D
[2009/06/30 12:37] Pirate Russell: Oh, it's ME!
[2009/06/30 12:37] ***JY***: Quote of the Year
[2009/06/30 12:37] ***PH***: of course Pirate but that is also new to you :)
[2009/06/30 12:38] ***PH***: not poseballs :D
[2009/06/30 12:38] ***TR***: yeah
[2009/06/30 12:38] ***TR***: if you would only show things after 10y something is not entirely right then :)
[2009/06/30 12:38] ***PH***: and sharing makes you2 equall
[2009/06/30 12:39] Pirate Russell: Not hiding, wating for it, just stuff that I'm reminded of by other things that happen
[2009/06/30 12:39] ***TR***: balance is not nescessarely quietness like a non moving lake
[2009/06/30 12:39] ***TR***: it can also be
[2009/06/30 12:39] ***TR***: waves crashing into the beach
[2009/06/30 12:39] ***TR***: binary stars :)
[2009/06/30 12:40] ***PH***: that is then a thin line in anykind of partnership SL/RL/equal/Dom/Sub
[2009/06/30 12:40] Pirate Russell: With D/s it's not a thin line, it's a wall, it's the power exchange that was agreed to .
[2009/06/30 12:40] ***VP***: Excuse me, Lady...I must go...thank you for you knowledge.
[2009/06/30 12:41] Pirate Russell: Yes, the wall get's breached, but it's not a thin line
[2009/06/30 12:41] Pirate Russell: Surely ***VP***
[2009/06/30 12:41] ***PH***: agreed
[2009/06/30 12:41] ***PH***: you hav that right
[2009/06/30 12:41] ***PH***: ahhh better ball
[2009/06/30 12:41] ***JY***: ( scrolls back up and reads distracted rl phone )
[2009/06/30 12:42] ***PH***: we all get dom-ed by rl :(
[2009/06/30 12:42] ***TR***: unfortunately
[2009/06/30 12:42] Pirate Russell: Ain't that the truffff!
[2009/06/30 12:42] ***PH***: such a unpleasant mistress
[2009/06/30 12:42] ***PH***: and its a she cause shes a bitch
[2009/06/30 12:43] Pirate Russell yanks this goatrope back into the right sim.... Respect. That is the Currency of Dominance
[2009/06/30 12:43] Pirate Russell smiles
[2009/06/30 12:44] Pirate Russell: And in the worst cases, a sub respects the position, not the person.
[2009/06/30 12:44] ***PH***: not really respect just enjoy to much :)
[2009/06/30 12:45] ***PH***: that happens here a lot
[2009/06/30 12:45] ***PH***: with males into female avis
[2009/06/30 12:45] Pirate Russell: Those are the game players
[2009/06/30 12:45] ***PH***: some of tham are really emerged but for the wrong reasons
[2009/06/30 12:45] ***PH***: them *
[2009/06/30 12:46] Pirate Russell: yes
[2009/06/30 12:46] ***JY***: I have a question of sorts Miss Russell and that is along the lines of being a Sl/RL Dominant .. what are your feelings on so called Fake Domiants ( Preadators / Posers ) in Second Life and if you notice it do you feel it's a responsibilty to try and show the submissive in this case what is wrong that you see personally ?
[2009/06/30 12:47] ***TR***: submissive should be smart enough to find it out him/herself really. being sub shouldn't be being dumb :) but yes we all get fooled sometimes
[2009/06/30 12:48] ***JY***: Well you see alot of " Submissives " in second life that think they goto a school you seem the kneeling every place just to kneel cause they think that is what they should do
[2009/06/30 12:48] Pirate Russell: The Fake Dominants, are why I took this job. I was spending too much time .... deprograming, or decompressing, abused submissives. I'm here with 2 basic messages... 1) Communication and 2) Do NOT rush relationshiops
[2009/06/30 12:48] ***JY***: see*
[2009/06/30 12:48] Pirate Russell: or relationships... he he
[2009/06/30 12:49] ***PH***: you have to know real sub is the one that practice or FEEL the same way being sub here means there is ' potential' in that person - and SL is a heaven for fakers - so be as smart as in rl
[2009/06/30 12:49] ***JY***: Nods
[2009/06/30 12:49] Pirate Russell: All of My submissives are RL submissive. Not necessarily in the lifestyle, but are really, honest to dog, submissivves
[2009/06/30 12:49] ***PH***: exactly
[2009/06/30 12:49] ***PH***: they maybe cant be in rl but they strive that freedom
[2009/06/30 12:50] Pirate Russell sees mostly males in that abusive role, but some females are doing it as well
[2009/06/30 12:50] ***JY***: Females here in second life correct
[2009/06/30 12:50] ***JY***: well most of them are male also so the first part is true ( all joking aside )
[2009/06/30 12:51] Pirate Russell: Now the other variable, is that female avi run by a male?
[2009/06/30 12:51] ***PH***: but here as u can change your alt you can change yi saw a lot of females doing that because they getdoes that matter?
[2009/06/30 12:51] ***PH***: in sl?
[2009/06/30 12:51] Pirate Russell knows a few that flat out say it in their profiles, but....
[2009/06/30 12:51] Pirate Russell: Not many!
[2009/06/30 12:51] ***PH***: gender shouldnt matter in sl rp
[2009/06/30 12:51] Pirate Russell: No, but, it can...
[2009/06/30 12:51] ***PH***: except if it matters to master
[2009/06/30 12:51] ***TR***: but then it's roleplay
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***JY***: well ***PH**** that is true but only if you treat all of SL as RP
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: but that is individual
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: exactly
[2009/06/30 12:52] Pirate Russell: it matters to Me. I don't play with boys, or girl avi's run by boys, if I know it.
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***TR***: respect/trust doesn't go well together with genderbending for me
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***JY***: I personally am not one that says Sl is sl and rl is rl cause it's falsehood
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: me neither
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***JY***: and D/s is not a RP for me .. it's a lifestyle
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: but we have to respect others SL too
[2009/06/30 12:52] Pirate Russell: The biggest misconception in these games
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: you just have to be really smart
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: :)
[2009/06/30 12:52] Pirate Russell: er Quote Unquote games
[2009/06/30 12:52] ***PH***: to find out whether u are played
[2009/06/30 12:53] Pirate Russell: If not smart, you have to be able to blow it off.
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***PH***: mhm
[2009/06/30 12:53] Pirate Russell: There are about 8 people in the million on SL that can break My heart.
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***TR***: some don't care I think - the "game", or the immersion, it's more important than the truhth
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***PH***: noooo
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***JY***: Actually Pirate that is untrue
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***PH***: :)
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***JY***: there is only 1 in sl that can break your heart and that is your self
[2009/06/30 12:53] ***PH***: ghawd exactly
[2009/06/30 12:54] Pirate Russell: Right, they are the ones I allow to affect Me in that way
[2009/06/30 12:54] Pirate Russell: The rest just get a mute, or delete from friends, whatever
[2009/06/30 12:54] ***PH***: but not letting other people close makes your experience and feelings poorer
[2009/06/30 12:54] Pirate Russell: I choose who gets under My skin, it's not an open door
[2009/06/30 12:54] ***PH***: you just have to have in mind that that can happen nd when it does you just say oh well
[2009/06/30 12:54] Pirate Russell: it's like that respect... it's earned
[2009/06/30 12:54] ***TR***: which is the whole point of SL really, it's safe to let someone close... or so most believe
[2009/06/30 12:55] ***PH***: we are all eall and emotions not actions are running at the same pace then in rl
[2009/06/30 12:55] ***PH***: or even slower
[2009/06/30 12:55] Pirate Russell: A little history... I met Hubby on AOHell... got to know him WELL before I ever saw him
[2009/06/30 12:55] ***TR***: that sounds familiar
[2009/06/30 12:55] ***PH***: same with PunTon story :)
[2009/06/30 12:55] Pirate Russell: so I understand well what's at stake in this bug-farm the Linden$ give us!
[2009/06/30 12:55] ***PH***: just that it started in this bloody place :)
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***PH***: but we both were honest
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***TR***: yes and both had our ahm... souls dipped in SL already
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***PH***: honest to know we dont have a clue what will happen when we meet :)
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***TR***: which made us pretty honest in the first place
[2009/06/30 12:56] Pirate Russell: Best of luck, obviously it worked for us! ;-)
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***PH***: and does for us
[2009/06/30 12:56] ***TR***: oh yes :)
[2009/06/30 12:56] Pirate Russell: I mean the RL part
[2009/06/30 12:57] ***PH***: jup
[2009/06/30 12:57] ***PH***: me too :)
[2009/06/30 12:57] ***PH***: im just not married yet (eyeballs ***TR***)
[2009/06/30 12:57] ***PH***: :D
[2009/06/30 12:57] ***TR***: that would be awesomely quick :p
[2009/06/30 12:57] Pirate Russell: I AM married, and I've been eyeballing all the girls! he he
[2009/06/30 12:58] Pirate Russell: in and out of SL!
[2009/06/30 12:58] ***JY***: Lawls
[2009/06/30 12:58] ***PH***: and the best thing about SL is that if you allow yourself to be you and find someone.. (:D)
[2009/06/30 12:58] ***JY***: ( excuse me for a second afk )
[2009/06/30 12:58] ***PH***: ... that is sticking to you - there is not much to go wrong :)
[2009/06/30 12:58] Pirate Russell: Yes, for you... for some they wanna be griefers whether they throw bombs, ro break hearts
[2009/06/30 12:58] ***TR***: a question into the RL, Pirate, if I may... where there distance issues to your going RL?
[2009/06/30 12:59] ***TR***: SL has more and more emotion-griefers yes
[2009/06/30 12:59] Pirate Russell: He was in Detroit, I was in Atlanta. Yes, some, but we had AIM, unlimited phone plans (We'd sit and watch "Who wants to be a Millionaire" on the phone and such
[2009/06/30 12:59] ***PH***: i prefere bombs
[2009/06/30 12:59] ***TR***: hehe all sounds alike yes
[2009/06/30 12:59] ***PH***: yeah your story is very familiar :)
[2009/06/30 13:00] Pirate Russell: Well, this is My 2nd Marriage, and I DEFINATELY traded up!
[2009/06/30 13:00] ***TR***: just change millionaire by american idol and phone plan to skype :p
[2009/06/30 13:00] Pirate Russell: There ya go!
[2009/06/30 13:00] ***PH***: \o/
[2009/06/30 13:00] ***TR***: \0/ even
[2009/06/30 13:00] Pirate Russell: But you brought up one more wrinkle...
[2009/06/30 13:00] ***TR***: yes?
[2009/06/30 13:01] Pirate Russell: I could answer that personal question, cuz no of y'all work with Me, go to My kids church, etc.
[2009/06/30 13:01] Pirate Russell: Anonymity eases embarrasment, a lot ofthe time
[2009/06/30 13:01] Pirate Russell: Though that question wasn't a bad one 'tall
[2009/06/30 13:02] ***PH***: yeah and provides pathway to manipulation so ... um i prefere not :)
[2009/06/30 13:02] Pirate Russell: Almost like going to an unfamiliar bar, and unburdening to a strange beertender!
[2009/06/30 13:02] ***PH***: it is totally the same
[2009/06/30 13:02] ***PH***: but is great if you have a 'partner in crime'
[2009/06/30 13:02] Pirate Russell winks at***PH***!
[2009/06/30 13:03] ***PH***: :)
[2009/06/30 13:03] Pirate Russell: 2 of My girls and My wife (also one of My girls) know more about Me, My marriage, My hubby, than ANYone within 500miles of Us
[2009/06/30 13:04] ***PH***: it is just great -i mean SL experience because you can actually do (virtually) what you wish for and feel probably better than you would in rl (it is still part of your fantasy and only you have the power to controll it)
[2009/06/30 13:04] Pirate Russell: And they're in CA, Wi, England, and I'm in ATL
[2009/06/30 13:04] ***PH***: :)
[2009/06/30 13:04] ***zA***: bye
[2009/06/30 13:04] Pirate Russell: Bye, ***zA***, thanks for moming
[2009/06/30 13:05] ***TR***: SL experience just helped me in finding out about myself
[2009/06/30 13:05] ***TR***: once there... I don't know it would bring any good feeling anymore really
[2009/06/30 13:05] Pirate Russell is not polyamorous, well is, cuz I LOVE My girls, but is Monosexual (with hubby), is not a lesbian, and is not a Domme, on this side of the keyboard
[2009/06/30 13:05] ***PH***: jup
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***PH***: you have the priviledge to experience more
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***PH***: well we all do
[2009/06/30 13:06] Pirate Russell: To be completed!
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***TR***: depends on how you are/feel
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***PH***: to find more about yourself
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***TR***: some intimacies are cheating to me
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***PH***: if you feel right of course
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***PH***: all of them ?
[2009/06/30 13:06] ***TR***: to myself that is
[2009/06/30 13:06] Pirate Russell: I know what I was missing, I was bi in college.... he he, but not since I got married the first time , YEARS ago
[2009/06/30 13:07] ***PH***: im bi he knows it im also sub/dom depends on the mood and he knows it and well its great to be me at last because of him
[2009/06/30 13:07] Pirate Russell: Hubby knows what I do here, he sits behind Me, OFTEN... and has only asked Me 3 things. No Voice (I can listen, but not talk, too much like a phone)
[2009/06/30 13:07] Pirate Russell: No face in any pictures I have out here.
[2009/06/30 13:08] Pirate Russell: and No RL meetings
[2009/06/30 13:08] ***PH***: allows you to be you
[2009/06/30 13:08] Pirate Russell: other than that, it's WFO! I choose not to play with known males, cuz it feels like cheating to Me!
[2009/06/30 13:08] ***PH***: jup
[2009/06/30 13:08] ***PH***: u have boundaries
[2009/06/30 13:08] ***PH***: we all do
[2009/06/30 13:08] ***PH***: but you are aware of them
[2009/06/30 13:09] ***TR***: and you have it right coz
[2009/06/30 13:09] ***TR***: cheating is not what your partner doesn't allow you
[2009/06/30 13:09] ***TR***: it's that PLUS what you yourself consider cheating
[2009/06/30 13:09] Pirate Russell: And we negotiated them, and I respect them
[2009/06/30 13:09] ***TR***: respect, exactly
[2009/06/30 13:10] ***PH***: cheating is not really about on which dick vagina sits ^^ to be myself - blunt
[2009/06/30 13:10] ***PH***: or where your mouth is
[2009/06/30 13:11] Pirate Russell: it's about your heart, and if you have to 'sneak'!
[2009/06/30 13:11] Pirate Russell: LIke I said, he sits here and watches ANYtime he wants! I'm in the livingroom!
[2009/06/30 13:11] ***PH***: and that is difficult place to sub/dom :)
[2009/06/30 13:11] Pirate Russell: Yes, it is
[2009/06/30 13:11] Pirate Russell: or would be
[2009/06/30 13:12] Pirate Russell: So, we've run over, I think I'm gonna call it a night
[2009/06/30 13:12] ***JY***: Pirate i have to comment off subject that i like your quote Quid quid Latine Dictum sit, altum videtur i had to google it only to find that what you put in ( ) under it is what it actually says gave me a smile thanks
[2009/06/30 13:12] ***TR***: being open like that is trust yes
[2009/06/30 13:12] Pirate Russell: He he
[2009/06/30 13:12] ***PH***: Thank you Pirate for a really nice talk
[2009/06/30 13:12] Pirate Russell: My pleasure
[2009/06/30 13:12] ***JY***: Thank you Miss Russell for your time do you have a tip jar
[2009/06/30 13:13] ***TR***: and even more trust is that you *have* to trust eachother coz of distance - it really shows yourself a thing or two
[2009/06/30 13:13] Pirate Russell: Yes and no.
[2009/06/30 13:13] ***PH***: :D
[2009/06/30 13:13] Pirate Russell: Any that care to tip, go to West of Ireland and donate to Project Children... or I can do it next week if I start wearing clothes again
[2009/06/30 13:13] ***JY***: something for your time was greatly appreciated
[2009/06/30 13:13] Pirate Russell: Thanks ***JY***, and thanks for your input
[2009/06/30 13:14] ***SV*** crashed and couldn't get back
[2009/06/30 13:14] ***JY***: and I shall go make a donation there also
[2009/06/30 13:15] Pirate Russell: Thanks, the sim is where My treasure works as an admin, so I call it her charity.. he he
[2009/06/30 13:15] ***JY***: yes ***SV*** they are doing server stuff according to the blog go figure
[2009/06/30 13:15] ***PH***: thank you once more and i rush :) thank you once more
[2009/06/30 13:15] ***PH***: thats 2 times
[2009/06/30 13:15] ***SV***: Thank you Miss Pirate
[2009/06/30 13:15] ***PH***: im really tired it seems
[2009/06/30 13:16] ***JY***: Well please take some rest and look foward to many more classes in the future
[2009/06/30 13:16] Pirate Russell: Thanks to y'all, I LOVE the discussion best
[2009/06/30 13:16] ***TR***: Thank you for a nice talk, will be back later
[2009/06/30 13:17] Pirate Russell: Ciao for now!