Erotic Humiliation - 6/26/09

[2009/06/26 12:06] Pirate Russell: OK, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc., to help with the Horrendous lag
[2009/06/26 12:06] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/06/26 12:06] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 1/2 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/06/26 12:07] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/06/26 12:07] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:08] Pirate Russell whispers: WOW, this lag is KILLER
[2009/06/26 12:08] Pirate Russell: Erotic humiliation: The consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby, at least, one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another;
[2009/06/26 12:08] Pirate Russell: often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself, as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of th
[2009/06/26 12:09] Pirate Russell: Consider that the desire to be beneath the other partner during intercourse,the idea of "getting caught" such as with having sex in the garden or woods, or mild rape fantasies (where the person imagines themselves to be forced in a way they would like,
[2009/06/26 12:09] Pirate Russell: and which must be seen as completely different to any real form of rape), are mild emotional games that emphasise status, vulnerability and control.
[2009/06/26 12:10] Pirate Russell: For instance, I found this vulnerable girl up at the club, and inspite of the suspending of Members' Day Rules, she will obey, she is controlled
[2009/06/26 12:10] Pirate Russell: However, for most people such ideas remain a fantasy and they would have strong reservations about it being made public, or engaged in with a partner for real, however erotic the idea may be.
[2009/06/26 12:11] Pirate Russell: If a person does reveal their fetish to their partners, this usually is a result of a huge amount of trust invested in them, due to the similarly huge psychological struggle they would have had to have gone through to tell them.
[2009/06/26 12:11] Pirate Russell: Many people have the worry of being ridiculed for their fetish, and such ridicule from their partners could be psychologically catastrophic.
[2009/06/26 12:12] Pirate Russell: Therefore, many people use online humiliation (where the humiliator and others are involved via the internet using chat, websites, SL, etc.) as a compromise between exhibitionism and reality on the one hand, and safety and anonymity on the other.
[2009/06/26 12:12] Pirate Russell: Humiliation can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public.
[2009/06/26 12:12] Pirate Russell: Often it can become ritualized, and unlike some sexual variations it can also be easily carried out over a long distance or online.
[2009/06/26 12:13] Pirate Russell: For instance if I were to tell ***MR*** here, to take off her pants, she will in SL, and might in RL....
[2009/06/26 12:14] Pirate Russell: The distinction between humiliation and dominance in an activity such as erotic spanking is that the sought-after effect is primarily the humiliation; the activity is just a means to that end.
[2009/06/26 12:14] Pirate Russell: While mild or moderate humiliation is not an uncommon part of BDSM or other sexual roleplay, humiliation play can be taken to a point where it becomes emotionally or psychologically distressing to one or the other partner.
[2009/06/26 12:15] Pirate Russell: Erotic humiliation can become extreme enough to be considered a form of edgeplay, that some consider may best be approached with advance negotiation and use of a safeword.
[2009/06/26 12:15] Pirate Russell: This is a highly subjective issue, and depends greatly on the participants.
[2009/06/26 12:16] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:16] Pirate Russell: ~ Terminology and Overview
[2009/06/26 12:16] Pirate Russell: The person being humiliated is often called a bottom, and the person who humiliates them is often called the top,
[2009/06/26 12:16] Pirate Russell: (though these are standard terms used in general dominant/submissive role play and are not specific to humiliation interests) or if female, sometimes humiliatrix.
[2009/06/26 12:17] Pirate Russell: Other common names are slave or sub/submissive for the bottom, and Master/Mistress or Dom/Domme for the top.
[2009/06/26 12:17] Pirate Russell: ~Humiliation is not the same as dominance, as the devotee is not necessarily seeking to be ordered about.
[2009/06/26 12:17] Pirate Russell: Humiliation comes into its own as a sexual force when the devotee seeks the humiliation over and above the means; for example, when being spanked is primarily valued because of the belittlement involved.
[2009/06/26 12:18] Pirate Russell: As such, it encompasses a range of paraphilia (abnormal sexual activity), in particular foot fetish or shoe fetish, body worship, spanking, bondage and most BDSM styles.
[2009/06/26 12:18] Pirate Russell: It can be as basic as the desire to kiss and massage feet as a precursor to sex, or it can be complex, involving roleplay or public displays of subservience.
[2009/06/26 12:18] Pirate Russell: It can be for a set period of time (a "scene") or as an ongoing facet of a relationship.
[2009/06/26 12:19] Pirate Russell: The "humiliation" is not intrinsic to the act or the object. Rather, symbiotic, a relationship beneficial to each charged, by the shared attitude of the partners engaged in the act.
[2009/06/26 12:20] Pirate Russell: "***MR***, take off the chaps and stockings"
[2009/06/26 12:20] Pirate Russell: It is they who invest specific acts, objects or body-parts with a humiliating aspect.
[2009/06/26 12:20] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:20] Pirate Russell: ~ Means of Humiliation
[2009/06/26 12:21] Pirate Russell: Sexual humiliation is very open-ended. Broadly, it can be divided into verbal and physical aspects.
[2009/06/26 12:21] Pirate Russell: *Verbal aspects of this might include:
[2009/06/26 12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Mockery, derision and ridicule.
[2009/06/26 12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Verbal belittlement, such as "slave", "boy", "girl", "missy", "pet".
[2009/06/26 12:21] Pirate Russell: ** Insults and verbal abuse, such as "fat", "ugly", "stupid", "worthless".
[2009/06/26 12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Degrading references, such as "slut", "tart", "bitch" and "whore".
[2009/06/26 12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Slighting of body parts or behaviors, such as disparaging or cruel references to breasts, facial appearance, genitalia or genital size, bottom, and slighting of mannerisms such as walking, responsiveness, standard of self-care.
[2009/06/26 12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Having to ask permission for everyday activities such as going to the toilet, spending money or eating.
[2009/06/26 12:22] Pirate Russell: ** Small breasts humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult female's breasts, or her inability to please a man (and by implication her essential worthlessness as a woman), and her breasts become objects of fun.
[2009/06/26 12:23] Pirate Russell: ** Small penis humiliation, where scorn is addressed over the supposed inadequacy of the adult male's genitals, or his inability to please a woman (and by implication his essential worthlessness as a man), and his penis becomes an object of fun.
[2009/06/26 12:23] Pirate Russell: ** Forced repetition, such as being obliged to repeat back commands to confirm them.
[2009/06/26 12:23] Pirate Russell: ** Forced flattery, such as agreeing that every decision that the dominant makes is wise, correct, and justifiable, while additionally praising the dominant's physical and personality traits.
[2009/06/26 12:23] Pirate Russell: Well in MY case, that's not flattery, just the facts! he he
[2009/06/26 12:24] Pirate Russell: ** Reduction to Human animal roleplay or human pet, referring to these individuals as pet, dog, girl, bitch, or making them eat and drink from pet food and water bowls.
[2009/06/26 12:24] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:24] Pirate Russell: *Physical Humiliation:
[2009/06/26 12:24] Pirate Russell: Some sexual humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation and embarrassment.
[2009/06/26 12:24] Pirate Russell: Physical and tangible aspects might include:
[2009/06/26 12:25] Pirate Russell: ** Wearing of external signs of "ownership", such as a collar.
[2009/06/26 12:25] Pirate Russell: ** Forced to wear a gag and/or restraints on the body.
[2009/06/26 12:25] Pirate Russell: ** Prohibitions or restrictions on clothing, even in public. For females a common example is being mandated to only wear revealing bikinis or lingerie. For men, this may include feminizing or cross-dressing.
[2009/06/26 12:25] Pirate Russell looks down at ***MR*** and giggles
[2009/06/26 12:26] Pirate Russell: Both sexes may be expected to go completely nude, with decorative objects such as collars, bands, tiaras, or cuffs being the only exceptions.
[2009/06/26 12:26] Pirate Russell: ** Having friends, family or strangers aware of or witnessing one's treatment (i.e.: public humiliation).
[2009/06/26 12:26] Pirate Russell: ** Use of chastity belts or other means of erotic sexual denial.
[2009/06/26 12:26] Pirate Russell: ** Suppressed freedom of movement. This may include never being able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission, and may be forbidden to leave the house or 'dungeon' in general for the duration of slavery or servitude.
[2009/06/26 12:27] Pirate Russell: ** Frequent performance of passive-aggressive sexual services for the dominant, such as erotic massage, cunnilingus, analingus, or fellatio, without expectations of reciprocal acts or intercourse.
[2009/06/26 12:27] Pirate Russell: ** Specific rituals and affectations to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as, walking a pace behind the dominant, only speaking when spoken to, kneeling or prostrating in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only afte
[2009/06/26 12:27] Pirate Russell: ** Spanking, whipping, restraint or other BDSM activities such as cock and ball torture (CBT).
[2009/06/26 12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Performance of menial tasks or abusive workload, such as cleaning the floors with a toothbrush.
[2009/06/26 12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Detailed punishments for a variety of 'infractions' or misbehavior, such as having to stand in a corner facing a wall for several hours, flogging or whipping, reduced rations, or forced exercise.
[2009/06/26 12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Roleplaying "lower status" beings, such as animals (for example dog or horse) or babies (see human animal roleplay, pup-play and adult baby play).
[2009/06/26 12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Ejaculating, farting, defecating, spitting, slapping or urinating on the bottom's body, especially the face.
[2009/06/26 12:28] Pirate Russell: ** Erotic objectification, where the bottom is cast in the role of an object, such as a footstool.
[2009/06/26 12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Cuckoldry, taking on a third party lover to humiliate the bottom as an expression of the relationship between the top and the bottom.
[2009/06/26 12:29] Pirate Russell: ** Having to ask permission to orgasm during sex or masturbation.
[2009/06/26 12:29] Pirate Russell: The list is virtually endless, it all depends on what the bottom DOESN'T LIKE!
[2009/06/26 12:30] Pirate Russell: Sexual roleplaying may or may not involve humiliation. For example, one person might play the part of a dog because they enjoy being mock-forced into it, and the top will emphasize the lowness of the bottom's status as an animal.
[2009/06/26 12:30] Pirate Russell: Whereas another person might play the role of the dog without any element of humiliation, simply as an expression of their inner animal or playful spirit.
[2009/06/26 12:30] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:31] Pirate Russell: ~ Psychology of Humiliation
[2009/06/26 12:31] Pirate Russell: Humiliation in general touches strong emotional buttons, the more so when it becomes sexualized.
[2009/06/26 12:31] Pirate Russell: Because of this, consent and (paradoxically) a high degree of awareness and communication is needed to ensure that the result is desirable, rather than abusive.
[2009/06/26 12:31] Pirate Russell: For example, a submissive may enjoy being insulted in some ways, but be genuinely crushed and devastated if humiliated or insulted in other ways.
[2009/06/26 12:32] Pirate Russell: Humiliation play is also connected to sexual fetishism, in that non-sexual activities may become sexualized by association with arousal,
[2009/06/26 12:33] Pirate Russell: and also may be associated with exhibitionism in the sense of wanting others to witness (or being aroused by others witnessing) one's sexual degradation.
[2009/06/26 12:33] Pirate Russell: For some people, activities such as name-calling are a way of achieving ego reduction or getting over sexual inhibitions.
[2009/06/26 12:33] Pirate Russell: For example, between gay people, terms usually associated with homophobia may be used, such as "faggot" or "lesbo."
[2009/06/26 12:34] Pirate Russell: As with all sexual activities, some people have sexual fantasies about humiliation, and others actually undertake it as a lifestyle or in a scene.
[2009/06/26 12:34] Pirate Russell: Sexual fantasies relating to mild humiliation are not uncommon.
[2009/06/26 12:34] Pirate Russell: Some humiliation roleplay (pup-play and age play in particular) is combined with loyalty and care-giving to the extent that these fetishes can be seen as exercises in trust rather than primarily a humiliation fetish.
[2009/06/26 12:35] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:35] Pirate Russell: ~ Blackmail and Humiliation
[2009/06/26 12:36] Pirate Russell: The use of blackmail as a means to exact leverage over a humiliated individual is widely considered to be an extreme aspect of erotic humiliation.
[2009/06/26 12:36] Pirate Russell: In relationships where the humiliated discloses sensitive personal information to the humiliator, and the release of that information would be catastrophically devastating to life of the humiliated,
[2009/06/26 12:36] Pirate Russell: the consensual pretext of the relationship comes into question.
[2009/06/26 12:37] Pirate Russell: The humiliator could demand the humiliated to take embarrassing photos and later threaten to expose the photos to a spouse or family member unless they further submit or force them to comply to their monetary demands.
[2009/06/26 12:37] Pirate Russell: The legal implications of such an arrangement have not yet been explored.
[2009/06/26 12:38] Pirate Russell: .
[2009/06/26 12:38] Pirate Russell: ~ Online Humiliation - Why W/we're here!
[2009/06/26 12:38] Pirate Russell: Online humiliation is the desire to be seen in a sexually embarrassing context via the internet. This practice allows the submissive to seek fetish partners from across the world.
[2009/06/26 12:38] Pirate Russell: * Common methods of online humiliation include:
[2009/06/26 12:39] Pirate Russell: ** Public pillory
[2009/06/26 12:39] Pirate Russell: ** Embarrassing photographic or video assignments for submissives
[2009/06/26 12:39] Pirate Russell: ** The requirement for submissives to keep online journals, detailing personal information such as masturbation frequency and details
[2009/06/26 12:39] Pirate Russell: ** Verbal abuse
[2009/06/26 12:40] Pirate Russell: ** Publicly bidding for items that reveal their fetishes
[2009/06/26 12:40] Pirate Russell: ** Forcing them to go, or taking them to places where nudity isn't the norm
[2009/06/26 12:40] Pirate Russell: ** Forcing them to service others in public or private.
[2009/06/26 12:40] Pirate Russell: ** Leaving them bound in public places, dressed or not.
[2009/06/26 12:41] Pirate Russell: Again, the list is endless, it all depends upon what your submissive finds humiliating, embarassing, or degrading.
[2009/06/26 12:41] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/06/26 12:42] Pirate Russell: Questions, comments?
[2009/06/26 12:42] Pirate Russell: Classes are Mo, Tue, and Fri at noon, right now.
[2009/06/26 12:45] Pirate Russell: No questions at ALL?!
[2009/06/26 12:45] Pirate Russell listens to the crickets.....
[2009/06/26 12:45] ***zA***: no sorry miss pirate not by me
[2009/06/26 12:46] ***RR***: Most of it sounds like people I know,,, not ot mention any names
[2009/06/26 12:46] ***CA***: hehe
[2009/06/26 12:46] ***VI***: Communicaiton, then seems to be the best way to not find yourself in an overly humiliating situation
[2009/06/26 12:46] Pirate Russell: But her initials are ***CA***?
[2009/06/26 12:46] ***RR***: YUp
[2009/06/26 12:47] Pirate Russell: And yes, ***VU*** as with any 'kink', if I don't know ***MR*** likes it, how can I do it?
[2009/06/26 12:47] Pirate Russell: or doesn't like it, why would I??!!
[2009/06/26 12:47] ***CA***: I've noticed that subs into humiliation often have a theme. Activities inside that theme almost always excite, but going outside that theme requires a lot more communication because like you say, it can go the exact opposite of fun in a hurry
[2009/06/26 12:47] ***VI***: nods at ***CA***
[2009/06/26 12:47] Pirate Russell: Good Point, "***MR***, enjoying yourself?"
[2009/06/26 12:48] ***MR***: a bit embarassing.... so.. it is fun
[2009/06/26 12:48] Pirate Russell smiles
[2009/06/26 12:48] ***RR***: yup sounds familiar
[2009/06/26 12:49] Pirate Russell takes whole weeks and runs around SL naked, not humiliating, houwever, it's My choice
[2009/06/26 12:49] Pirate Russell: ((Note to self: Schedule naked week, SOON))
[2009/06/26 12:49] ***VI***: giggles
[2009/06/26 12:50] Pirate Russell would start now, but don't wanna steal ***MR***' thunder... he he
[2009/06/26 12:50] ***CA***: and that's another point worth mentioning. Something you find embarrassing will bore me to tears, and vice versa.
[2009/06/26 12:50] Pirate Russell: Kinda like D/s in general, it's a relationship, and each relationship is as different as those, and the farm animals, that are in it!
[2009/06/26 12:51] ***CA***: yah
[2009/06/26 12:51] ***VI***: What is the best way to handle a scene when the humiliation takes a wrong turn?
[2009/06/26 12:51] ***RR***: safeword
[2009/06/26 12:51] Pirate Russell: Online: Safeword, go OOC, or even log out
[2009/06/26 12:51] ***VI***: nods
[2009/06/26 12:51] Pirate Russell: but for dog's sake COMMUNICATE as soon as you can.
[2009/06/26 12:52] ***CA***: and that's a really tough one to handle in the first place, since humiliation most often involves damaging one's reputation in some way, at its core. By the time it's gone too far, you may have caused damage you can't fix
[2009/06/26 12:52] Pirate Russell: That's why there needs to be negotiation at the begining of EVERY D/s relationship.
[2009/06/26 12:53] ***CA*** nods
[2009/06/26 12:53] Pirate Russell: Though Members' Day helped speed things along today.. he he
[2009/06/26 12:53] ***LL***: except you RP is about no negociation ;)
[2009/06/26 12:53] Pirate Russell: Even if it's a scene long, or a RL Life long relationship. Don't sign on, until you KNOW what you want and what you're willing to give up t o get it
[2009/06/26 12:53] Pirate Russell: not true, ***LL***
[2009/06/26 12:54] Pirate Russell: If I walk up and spank you with no talk, how do I know if that's what you like, or if it's a hard limit?
[2009/06/26 12:54] ***LL***: well who knows ;) except me
[2009/06/26 12:55] Pirate Russell: There has to be some chat go on, so you know you can even play with someone, what they wanna do, what gets thiem off, and what makes them log off, what you wanna do, and what will make you log off.
[2009/06/26 12:55] ***LL***: i mean sometimes RP is also about risk .. if all is negociated before you do ;) well might be boring
[2009/06/26 12:55] ***CA***: as a personal example of what I mean... There's a femdom sim where I'm a domme in good standing, and respected. If a dominant were to take me there and humiliate me, it might be fun... but it would irreparably damage my credibility there in a way I would be unable to fix
[2009/06/26 12:56] Pirate Russell: Unless those watching were informed it was a RP
[2009/06/26 12:56] ***CA***: even so, many would never understand
[2009/06/26 12:56] Pirate Russell: Then yes, that would have to be a big decision for you. If you're not willing to do that, then that's a limit
[2009/06/26 12:57] ***MR***: a "single shot game" that could worth being played.... ***CA*** *giggle*
[2009/06/26 12:57] ***CA***: hehe
[2009/06/26 12:57] Pirate Russell: Or if you decided that you didn't wanna Domme, anymore, then that would be a fun way to make sure it's permenant
[2009/06/26 12:57] ***CA*** nods
[2009/06/26 12:59] ***RR***: Or just keep Dommeing there & showing up here in a pantiless maids outfit
[2009/06/26 13:00] ***CA*** laughs and blushes
[2009/06/26 13:00] Pirate Russell: Or domme your subby while wearing that outfit
[2009/06/26 13:00] ***CA***: I dommed once wearing a pink bunny costume
[2009/06/26 13:00] Pirate Russell: As you can see, I'm not a 'traditional Domme'. I'm an exhibitionist, and a smart a$$
[2009/06/26 13:00] ***RR***: Everyone needs a hobby
[2009/06/26 13:01] ***CA*** grins
[2009/06/26 13:01] Pirate Russell: There is that!
[2009/06/26 13:02] ***VI***: Thank you Mistress for an informative class, as always i enjoyed it.
[2009/06/26 13:02] Pirate Russell: My pleasure
[2009/06/26 13:02] Pirate Russell: Any that feel the need to tip, please go to the West of Ireland sim and put the money to good use by donating to the "Project Children" fund
[2009/06/26 13:02] ***CA***: yes, great class!
[2009/06/26 13:02] ***RR***: Ya done good, Pirate
[2009/06/26 13:02] Pirate Russell: This is one of My favorites, and ***MR*** likes it too!
[2009/06/26 13:02] ***MR*** giggles
[2009/06/26 13:03] Pirate Russell: Well, class dismissed!
[2009/06/26 13:04] Pirate Russell: Thanks for coming, I enjoyed the discussion!
[2009/06/26 13:04] ***zA***: thank you miss porate
[2009/06/26 13:04] Pirate Russell: You're welcome zo
[2009/06/26 13:04] ***MP*** pokes , doesn't run away.
[2009/06/26 13:05] ***VI***: "well Shin did you enjoy it?"