Checklists & Contracts - 6/9/09

[11:59] Dominic Rahja: I'll wait a lil while before I start class, but meanwhile you can watch a youtube if you like on the topic
[11:59] Dominic Rahja: URL is..
[11:59] Dominic Rahja: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGFO8UmlTXA
[11:59] Dominic Rahja: hello ***AX***
[11:59] ***AX***: hi
[11:59] Dominic Rahja: hello Shu
[12:00] Dominic Rahja: hey ***MG***
[12:00] ***MG***: hello Sir Dom
[12:00] ***MG***: hello Nef
[12:00] Dominic Rahja: how are you?
[12:00] ***MG***: good good...this is a big school
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: more an arena hehe
[12:01] ***MG***: where are the bulls
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: watch till they free the lions
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: laffs
[12:01] Strauss Feller gets his bollfighting cape... bulls?
[12:01] ***MG***: good think I am not wearing red today
[12:01] ***MG***: thing
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: not even red panties?
[12:01] ***MG*** checks....no
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: your sage then
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: safe
[12:02] ***SB***: hello Dominic
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: sage is a herb
[12:02] ***SB***: I'm watch the youtube
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: ok Shu
[12:02] ***SB***: thanks *smiles*
[12:02] ***NZ***spanks ***MG***'s ass
[12:02] ***MG***: no spanking without undies Nef
[12:02] ***BM***: Greetings E/everyone
[12:02] Strauss Feller: actually... bulls go for movement, not red...
[12:03] ***NZ***: thats best
[12:03] ***SB***: ok
[12:03] Leash Holder - Right: Type .leashhelp for remote control help.
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: ok everyone
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: lets have a start
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: hello Kiri
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: as you read in the announcement the topic is about checklists and contracts
[12:04] ***KC***: hello
[12:04] ***MG***: oooh
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: this is not about buying real estate tho
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: but BDSM related issues
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: suppose..
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: you as a Dominant meet a sub
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: and vice versa
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: at first you talk a bit
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: and when theres a click
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: (like in vanilla)
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: youd like to know eachother a bit better
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: this might be an upcoming D/s relationship
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: as time goes on
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: you will talk about D/s as a whole
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: about eachothers skills
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: and BDSM scenes in particular
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: now:
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: BDSM is a part of D/s
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: D/s (Dominance/submission) stands for the relationship your are in
[12:08] ***KC***: sorry E/everyone. girl has been summoned
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: but BDSM is the scene in which D/s pops up as a sexual act
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: ok Kiri
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: btw
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: there are D/s relationships with no BDSM at all
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: because the choice is yours
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: but like with all kinds of relationships: sex is a part of it
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: now
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: there are several ways to get to know eachother on that part
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: in this D/s differs from vanilla
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: in a vanilla relationship you kiss eachother and you prolly end up in bed together
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: and if not then she prolly thinks: what the heck is he waiting for
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: with BDSM this can happen too of course but
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: starting a bdsm scene right away can be risky
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: you dont know eachother yet
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: sub doesnt know about the Doms skills
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: and Dom doesnt know about subs experiences
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: likes and dislikes
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: many times you discover that by just talking
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: and maybe some play
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: in sl that easy
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: dungeons enough to try
[12:13] ***SB*** nods
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: but in rl this is a bit different
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: how agreements , limits etc are set, depends on each personality
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: its like:
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: some people like trial and error
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: others like stuff planned first
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: certainly for the sub in question its good to know what kind of a Dom he is
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: btw
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: just to make it easy for Myself: I call sub a she
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: and Dom a he
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: but it can be the other way around of course
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: for those who watched the youtube I sent
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: you saw a female submissive
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: she said thata check list is quite important
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: just to know what you would like
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: and to know what you certainly wont do
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: and to make clear to your Dom what he cant ask from you
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: hm, I gota bit of chat lag
[12:17] ***SB*** nods
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: you also heard her say: that in the beginning she had quite a lot of limits
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: but as time passed, she started to get interest in things she was afraid of
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: a check list is not binding
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: but to explore
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: but always in mutual agreement
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: now there are a lot of checklists
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: you find lots of them on the net
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: in books
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: or from a friend
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: the problem with those however is
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: is that they are very long
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: and there are lots of words in you didnt even know they exsisted
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: you need a dictionary with it
[12:19] ***MG*** nods
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: lots of those lists when filled in containa lot of question marks after
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: the other prob is
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: its usually only the sub filling them in
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: and that while I said : its a mutual agreement
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: so thats not right
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: later I show you an example of a check list wich is for both Dom and sub
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: What is a BDSM checklist?
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: A BDSM Checklist is a comprehensive list of BDSM related activities, which can be used to help identify common kinks and interests between potential play partners or mates.
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: This can be done being wrapped together in the couch
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: talking about kinks
[12:22] ***SB*** giggles
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: which is good fun
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: but like in sl, where it can be kinda hard to wrap up together
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: it can be done by such a list
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: aim is: to know what you like
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: to know what you would like to experience
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: what are the risks
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: and what happens after
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: keep in mind that a rl checklist is a lot different from a sl one
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: and its gotta be clear from the start what is meant
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: if the question is: do you like nakedness in public
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: and you say yes
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: its different if your naked in HoV or at the 5th avenue NYC
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: ha
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: an advice to subs..
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: it might be handy if you can have a list which is already filled in by another sub
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: then you can compare
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: if the rate goes from 1 to 5
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: 1 is dislike
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: 5 is like
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: whats then 2 3 and 4
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: its a bit confusing
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: also it might be handy to fill it in with another friended sub
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: and thats good fun too
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: can be a night of giggles
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: take your time to fill it in
[12:27] ***SB*** takes notes
[12:28] ***BM*** looks over her list
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: and when done, tell your Dom that there were questions that werent very clear to you
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: so you can discuss about that
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: like I said before, its not binding
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: but a guide line
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: this way you can explore together
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: and the Dominant must add his own skills and experiences
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: and be honest if there are actions he doesnt know about
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: or are a limit to himself
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: for example
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: suppose one of the questions is: being peed on
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: now this can be a limt
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: maube sub filled in a 4
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: but Dom doesnt really like to pee on a person
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: for him its a 1
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: sub must respect that
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: maybe in the future he ready for it
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: weolcome to Shauna
[12:31] ***SB2***: hello
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: anyone got experiences with checklists?
[12:31] ***BM*** raises her hand...I do
[12:31] ***SB*** shakes her head
[12:32] ***MG*** raises her hand
[12:32] Dominic Rahja: how did it work for you ***MG***?
[12:32] ***MG***: well it was like proess
[12:32] ***MG***: process
[12:32] ***MG***: first time it was like You said
[12:32] ***MG***: I had no clue about a lot of the things on it
[12:32] ***MG***: so I filled one in like every month
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: nods
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: which is good
[12:33] ***MG***: to see together with my Dom if things changed
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: people grow
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: together you grow
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: like the woman in the youtube
[12:33] ***MG***: but I never got to understand the differences between the 1 and 2 for example
[12:33] ***NZ***: smiles up to her Owner
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: hehe yes
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: that is indeed confusing
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: if you rate a 5 then surely you like it
[12:34] ***MG***: they are both like "I don't want to but I will"
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: nods
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: a 3 scale would be better maybe
[12:34] ***MG*** nods
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: like ***MG***, the woman in the film did the same
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: aftera certain period of time she filled in a new one
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: and handed that to her master
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: and more and more she likes to try out more
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: beacuse she was gaining trust in her owner
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: there are always hard limits and soft limits
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: hard limits are those things you really wouldnt do ever
[12:37] ***MG*** thinks about page 5
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: soft limits are those you might maybe try but with good guidence
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: page 5 ***MG***?
[12:37] ***MG***: well in my list the scat page
[12:37] ***MG***: in all his variations
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: yeah
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: quite a limit
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: but there are people who like that
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: how gross it may sound
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: of course there are also limits set by the law
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: no need to mention those in a check list
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: although you see those here at the entry of some sims
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: no kids for example
[12:39] ***SB***: aha
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: logic I should say
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: okay
[12:39] ***SB2***: i got here late :/ where do we get this list or do we make it up ourselves?
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: any questions about checklists?
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: well its easy Shauna
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: I can give you a list but
[12:40] ***SB2***: sorry if you covered that :/
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: there are hundreds to find if you google
[12:40] ***SB2***: ok
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: just type in check list
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: after class I give you an example of contarcts
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: contracts
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: thats the next item I discuss with you
[12:41] ***SB*** nods "good"
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: the word contract sounds kinda, heavy
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: like its a binding thing
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: you put your signature
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: and you naver get rid of it
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: thats not true of course
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: for example
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: when you marry
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: you sign a contract as well
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: it is binding
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: but see how many ppl devorce
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: end of contract
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: and it costs you money
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: lol
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: in D/s sucha contract is the same
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: only if it doesnt work out, you dont have to pay to tear it
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: that doesnt mean its just a playful piece of paper
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: it is a serious matter
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: when you BOTH agree upon a contract
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: then you submit to it
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: and the best way is to write that contract together
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: if you just met a Dom and he pushes a contract under your nose
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: that is wrong
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: you wouldnt marry after the first day would ya
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: only Brittney Spears does
[12:46] ***SB***: lol
[12:46] ***SB2***: lol
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: What is a BDSM contract?
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: In BDSM, a contract is an agreement, usually written, between the dominant and submissive in a 24/7 or Total Power Exchange (TPE)
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: greets ***JD***
[12:46] ***JD***: Hello
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange.
[12:47] ***BM*** whispers...Hi, ***JD***
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: Some are very formal and will detail exactly what is expected and can run for multiple pages.
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: Others are as brief as a single paragraph.
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: Either way, one is derived by negotiation on the part of both parties.
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: BDSM couples consider the contract to hold equal moral authority to a marriage commitment
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: As such, constructing a proper contract is very much like writing a pre-nuptial agreement.
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: A contract in this context is an agreement which formally sets out the roles, responsibilities and limits of a Dominant/submissive or Master/slave relationship.
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: Some find them useful because they demand thought about what each person is prepared to contribute to the relationship and what they expect out of it.
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: This may provide a sense of clarity as well as security.
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: It may also create a sense of commitment and help to avoid potential points of conflict later on.
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: hello Vanessa
[12:49] ***VM***: : )
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: Others feel that contracts are worthless and in fact inhibit the natural change and growth of a healthy D/s relationship.
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: that last sentence!
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: whena contract is set up by both
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: and is reconsidered like every month
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: then it allows growth
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: now there is one lil snake in the grass
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: I would say: een addertje onder her gras hehe
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: but thats Dutch
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: suppose
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: you spank your sub a bit hard
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: and she cries
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: she couldnt handle it
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: but the contract said: she wants spanks
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: hard way
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: now..
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: she runs to the cops
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: and accuses you for assault
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: you cant tell the cops that she signed a contract in which you were allowed to spank her
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: know what I mean?
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: same goes for as the neighbours wake up cause your screaming
[12:53] Dominic Rahja: they call the cops
[12:53] ***BM*** thinks about safety words, trust, and "Safe, Sane, and consentual"
[12:53] Dominic Rahja: yes very much so ***BM***
[12:53] Dominic Rahja: id it gets to rough: there are better ways
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: in any way: a contract is worthless to the law
[12:54] ***NZ***: brb pls Master ?
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: its a symbolic agreement between Dom and sub
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: ok sweetheart
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:54] ***NZ***: ty Master
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: I got a few examples of contracts notecarded
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: 3 to be exact
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: 3 different ones
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: the first is a very open consensual contract
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: the other 2 are specificly written for a female and for a male sub
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: but all 3 are different in its quality
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: I hand them over to you and after thats done we look closer to the first contract
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: give a moment to hand them out
[12:56] ***SB*** nods
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: brb
[12:57] ***BM*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***MG*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***zA*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***SB*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***JD*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***SB***: thanks you Dominic
[12:57] ***VM*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***AX*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: Hope I didnt forget anyone
[12:57] ***SB2*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:57] ***zA***: thanks you Dominic
[12:58] ***VM***: thank you, Sir
[12:58] Dominic Rahja: ok. I give you time to rezz it
[12:58] Dominic Rahja: the first contract comes very close to an official collaring ceremony
[12:58] Dominic Rahja: of course it starts with the names of those involved
[12:59] ***JG*** accepted your inventory offer.
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: if you scroll a bit: you see PURPOSE
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: now thats an important one
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: every contract has a purpose
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: you gotta know what its about
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: and what is achieved with it
[13:00] Dominic Rahja: a bit further down:
[13:00] Dominic Rahja: DUTIES and SERVITUDE
[13:00] ***NZ*** accepted your inventory offer.
[13:00] Dominic Rahja: thats important to know
[13:01] Dominic Rahja: a Dom might have his slave to do certain household tasks
[13:01] Dominic Rahja: or maybe a regular schedule of daily tasks
[13:01] Dominic Rahja: that has to be clear
[13:01] Dominic Rahja: she might dislike that very much maybe
[13:02] Dominic Rahja: or the Dom isnt interested in that kind of scheduling
[13:02] Dominic Rahja: in any way, if its something both want, then its gotta be there
[13:02] Dominic Rahja: scrolling down you see an example of householding servitudes
[13:03] Dominic Rahja: after those: some free time filling tasks are mentioned
[13:03] Dominic Rahja: like computer use
[13:03] Dominic Rahja: for example if she is a total sl addict
[13:03] Dominic Rahja: you might wanna bring that down a little
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: for the sake of her health
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: or her creditcard
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: lol
[13:04] ***VM***: smiles
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: I tell you
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: the truth
[13:04] ***JD***: I think we are all adicts
[13:04] Dominic Rahja: I know people spending 100 dollar each day
[13:04] Lossip Delicioso is Online
[13:04] ***JD***: waaaaaaaaa
[13:04] ***JD***: on what!
[13:05] ***NZ***: laffs
[13:05] Dominic Rahja: clothes gadgets items
[13:05] Dominic Rahja: not even tier
[13:05] ***NZ***: giggles peaks at ***MG***
[13:05] Dominic Rahja: they end up with a full inventory of stuff they never wear
[13:05] ***MG*** rolls her eyes
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: scrolling further down
[13:06] ***NZ***: laffs knowing we share same addictions lolol
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: Expenditures
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: and allowances
[13:06] ***MG*** kicks her boots boxes under her chair
[13:06] ***VM***: giggles
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: in D/s terms
[13:06] Dominic Rahja: a slave isnt allowed to own any goods
[13:07] Dominic Rahja: now this is tricky ofcourse
[13:07] Dominic Rahja: suppose you own House of V
[13:07] Dominic Rahja: then you cant do without an income
[13:07] Dominic Rahja: so this depends on what kinda life you got
[13:08] Dominic Rahja: usually in rl: a sub gets an allowance
[13:08] Dominic Rahja: Exclusions
[13:08] Dominic Rahja: there may be periods of time the sub is allowed to be free
[13:08] Dominic Rahja: to do what she wants
[13:08] Dominic Rahja: if so
[13:09] Dominic Rahja: then that has to be written in the contract
[13:09] Dominic Rahja: so both are clear on that
[13:09] Dominic Rahja: then about safety!
[13:09] Dominic Rahja: a Dom declares never to hurt or damage her
[13:09] Dominic Rahja: and to keep control of his own emotions
[13:10] Dominic Rahja: for example
[13:10] Dominic Rahja: if he like a good pint of beer
[13:10] Dominic Rahja: np
[13:10] Dominic Rahja: but if he slaps your ass when drunk, that might be dangerous
[13:11] Dominic Rahja: the contract has to be clear on this point
[13:11] Dominic Rahja: btw
[13:11] Dominic Rahja: in My opinion: a Dom should never use any drugs before or during a BDSM session
[13:12] Dominic Rahja: tyhen stipulation
[13:12] ***NZ***: Alcohol is a drug
[13:12] Dominic Rahja: any decission made is in the hands of the owner
[13:12] Dominic Rahja: yes it is girl
[13:12] Dominic Rahja: a sub just cant make decissions of her own without permission
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: but maybe there are exceptions
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: again:
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: if shes the owner of House of V
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: she got to make decissions
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: so it depends
[13:13] Dominic Rahja: note:
[13:14] Dominic Rahja: of course when the Dom is temporary not capable of making decissions its logic she'll do
[13:14] Dominic Rahja: but thats emergency
[13:14] Dominic Rahja: certainly when she got kids
[13:14] Dominic Rahja: btw
[13:14] Dominic Rahja: a bit off topic
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: when one got kids
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: never ever confrontate them with bdsm
[13:15] ***VM***: ty, Sir but, my Master calls
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: they really wouldnt understand
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: ok Vanessa
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: be well
[13:15] ***SB*** nods
[13:15] Dominic Rahja: Behavior
[13:16] Dominic Rahja: last class was on etiquette
[13:16] Dominic Rahja: this has a lot to do with this
[13:16] Dominic Rahja: how both behave
[13:16] Dominic Rahja: and there is a difference in behavior when playing a session or in daily issues
[13:16] Dominic Rahja: I mean. if she like to kneel in front of him
[13:17] Dominic Rahja: that cool at home
[13:17] Dominic Rahja: or in sl
[13:17] Dominic Rahja: but not on the platfrom in a train station
[13:17] ***NZ***: heehee
[13:17] ***BM*** smiles and waves to ***NP***
[13:17] Dominic Rahja: and if done in public, people will react in a shocked way
[13:18] Dominic Rahja: respect is always valuable
[13:18] Dominic Rahja: and therefore one of the most important behavior rules
[13:18] Dominic Rahja: now I gota question for you guys
[13:18] Dominic Rahja: listen up
[13:18] Dominic Rahja: respect I just said
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: now theres that one day. you get up and its just a bad hair day
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: kids are messing up
[13:19] Sunnyde Beck is Online
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: you just parked the car againsta pole
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: they charged you to much for taxes
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: just a fucked up day
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: and u really had it
[13:19] Dominic Rahja: and then he comes home from work
[13:20] Dominic Rahja: or online
[13:20] Dominic Rahja: and he had a bad day as well
[13:20] Dominic Rahja: how would you handle this?
[13:20] ***NP***: hello, one moment pls
[13:20] Dominic Rahja: hello ***NP*** (n)
[13:20] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[13:20] ***NZ***: lol
[13:21] Dominic Rahja: I fill you in
[13:21] ***NZ***: stays quiet
[13:21] Dominic Rahja: its good to express yourself
[13:21] Dominic Rahja: logic
[13:21] Dominic Rahja: dont swallow
[13:21] ***NP***: hello dominic *smile
[13:21] Dominic Rahja: but keep in mind that you both need to stay calm as much as you can
[13:22] Dominic Rahja: and as a sub stay in your role
[13:22] ***SB*** agrees totally
[13:22] Dominic Rahja: it might happen that he gags you if your going bezirk
[13:22] Dominic Rahja: and for a reason
[13:22] Dominic Rahja: to calm you down
[13:22] Dominic Rahja: later you can discuss it in a much better way
[13:23] Dominic Rahja: ok
[13:23] Dominic Rahja: theres a lot more on this contract
[13:23] Dominic Rahja: you can read that yourself
[13:23] Dominic Rahja: at the end as in any contract theres room to sign
[13:24] Dominic Rahja: best way is therefore to scan the contract and send in email
[13:24] Dominic Rahja: then it looks more valuable
[13:24] Dominic Rahja: a real signature
[13:24] Dominic Rahja: but thats up to you
[13:24] Dominic Rahja: any questions or remarks?\
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: then I got one for you
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: suppose
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: youve been together
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: with a contract
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: and something happened
[13:25] Dominic Rahja: something bad
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: and you wanna get rid of it
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: no more relationship
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: goodbye
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: but how?
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: in all respect whats the best way?
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: who can fill us in on that?
[13:26] ***MG***: just ask for a release?
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: nods
[13:26] Dominic Rahja: how?
[13:27] ***MG***: well depends on if it is sl or rl I suppose
[13:27] Dominic Rahja: does it?
[13:27] ***MG***: often... I think yes
[13:27] laserhop Rothschild is Offline
[13:27] Dominic Rahja: of course in most cases both know it already
[13:28] Dominic Rahja: and realease is a logic option
[13:28] Dominic Rahja: but there is one BIG difference with a vanilla marriage
[13:28] Dominic Rahja: in vanilla it usually is an arguement which triggers the final solution
[13:28] Dominic Rahja: but in D/s that cant be it
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: sub has to ask ( or beg) for release
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: thats a respectable way
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: and she got to tell jhim why
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: Dom got a chance to ask her
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: and maybe to confirm
[13:29] Dominic Rahja: in this matter
[13:30] Dominic Rahja: when release is granted
[13:30] Dominic Rahja: you seperate as friends
[13:30] Dominic Rahja: and the contract is ondone
[13:30] Dominic Rahja: consensual again
[13:30] Dominic Rahja: of course its not always as easy as I say
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: and surely when your pissed its certainly not easy top ask
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: what if that release is not granted?
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: I wont give you an answer to tat one
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: I will in another class
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: but maybe a nice topic to think about
[13:31] Dominic Rahja: and to talk with
[13:32] ***SB***: sure!
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: thanks all for being here
[13:32] ***MG***: thank You Sir Dom
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: Hope you had an intersting class
[13:32] ***NZ***spanks ***TH***'s ass
[13:32] ***SB***: very interesting, Dominic
[13:32] ***SB***: thanks a lot
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: I now take ***TH*** to the back for punishmnent as being late
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: safe paths all
[13:32] Dominic Rahja: and I see you next week
[13:33] ***NZ***spanks ***JD***'s ass
[13:33] ***NZ***spanks ***MG***'s ass
[13:33] Dominic Rahja: hand ***JD***his girls leash for spanking him
[13:34] Dominic Rahja: naughty girl
[13:35] Dominic Rahja: now ***TH*** tell us your secret
[13:35] ***TH***: hi..
[13:35] ***TH***: which one?
[13:35] Dominic Rahja: why have you got a better cleavage?
[13:35] ***NZ***: she was napping naughty thing
[13:36] ***TH***: muscles in the shoulders on the torso
[13:36] Dominic Rahja: hm
[13:36] ***TH***: grins
[13:36] Dominic Rahja: been working out uh
[13:36] ***TH***: yes...
[13:36] Dominic Rahja: clever girl
[13:36] ***TH***: have to catch the eye
[13:36] ***TH***: especially now ::winks::
[13:36] Dominic Rahja: now I regret that I was cooking during your class
[13:37] Dominic Rahja: I should have zoomed in
[13:37] ***TH***: lol
[13:37] Dominic Rahja: ok guys, we are going home
[13:37] Dominic Rahja: making notes
[13:37] Dominic Rahja: girl, tp me
[13:37] ***TH***: I'll have to get notes for this missed class
[13:37] ***SB***: thank you v much for the lecture Dominic
[13:38] Dominic Rahja: your very welcome
[13:38] Dominic Rahja: My pleasure

***Sample Contract***
100% SUBMISSION CONTRACT BETWEEN

_____________________ AND _____________________


_____________, hereinafter referred to as "Owner", hereby binds this contract with [his/her] signature and the signature of _____________, hereinafter referred to as "slave" in this Submission Contract. Said Contract refers to total dominance and control of Owner in [his/her] relationship with said slave.

Purpose

The purpose of the servant contract is very important to instill the security of Ownership and all that such servitude implies. The contract is a measure of control. This contract is written to make clear the expectations of Owner and the consequences for failure to live up to this agreement. The contract is a reminder of the many duties and responsibilities of a live-in slave.

Symbols of Ownership include _______________ upon signing this Contract, and any other future marks or tokens Owner may wish to bestow. Symbols of Ownership are visible reminders of status and should be worn with pride. They signify control and the lifestyle chosen by slave.

Duties of Servitude
• Above all, it is the duty of the servant to please.
• Personal Duties: Physical/emotional needs of Owner, amusement, sexual toy/plaything, physical comfort, obedience, honesty, loyalty, waiting on Owner as desired and needed.
• Household Duties: Cleaning and keeping the home straightened, laundry, shopping, cooking, care for children when requested, run errands as needed. Any task assigned is considered permanent.
Daily Routine

The established daily routine includes:
• Arise 7-8am
• Morning coffee and breakfast
• Work
• Serving as Owner needs
• Household duties as needed
• Dinner duties
• Recreation with permission from Owner
• 11pm Bed-time
Recreation

If slave wishes to enjoy the use of the computer [he/she] will ask for a specific time [he/she] wishes to do so. Permission will be by grant of Owner and slave will stop using the computer within 10 minutes after that time set by Owner unless an extension is asked for and granted. If Owner is not at home or unavailable, slave may be permitted to engage in this or other recreation activities. Any chores, commands or cleaning that need to be done will take preference over recreation activity except in the case of a need for break.

Expenditures

All requests for major expenditures will be submitted to Owner for approval. Any expenditure over $10.00 will be completely subject to the approval of Owner prior to purchase unless said item may be returned for a full refund.

Allowance

Allowance will be set by Owner and distributed to slave as [he/she] sees fit.

Exclusions

Slave will be allowed _____ hours per day [or ____ days per week] for time off, if requested in advance and if Owner agrees.

Owner will not injure, permanently scar or change either slave or [him/her]self, or anyone, or any part of any body.

Stipulation

Slave hereby acknowledges that Owner's authority supersedes [his/hers] in any decision including but not limited to travel plans, visitations, activities, chores, recreation, monetary expenses or expenditures, obligations, managements, diets, readings, processes, consumptions, priorities, communications or any otherwise alternative decision.

Owner will solely determine the residence, including city, county, state and/or country of residence for said slave.

Behavior
• Attitude: The servant should show an attitude of respect at all times. Disrespect is a serious offense and will be punished severely.
• Respect includes: manner of speech, promptness, kneeling to serve, proper answers, obedience, loyalty and honesty.
• Respect and obedience are the two most important aspects of attitude the servant shall show at all times. Failure will be punished.
Friends and Relatives

All friends and relatives of Owner will be treated with the utmost respect. No anger, argument, condescension, criticism, insult or lack of courtesy will be tolerated. Owner will voice [his/her] compliment, respect and love for same at all times.

Slave hereby agrees to refrain from any insult or criticism of any of Owner's friends or relatives, their culture, attributes, background, class, heritage, or nationality, or any conceived notion detrimental to their status.

Owner may provide lodging for any friend, relative or partner [he/she] wishes. Permission is required from Owner if slave has the desire to provide lodging for any friend, relative or partner. Any disobedience from this rule will be the cause of serious punishment

Behavior in Private

Slave shall address Owner as _____________ at all times without fail. Slave shall pay full attention to Owner when spoken to.

Owner is more important than any other activity the slave may be engaged in. The slave shall sit, stand, walk, kneel, and lay where, when and how Owner desires.

Slave shall stay in bed at night unless permission is granted to do otherwise. The slave shall not remove any restraint device for any other reason than an emergency.

Behavior in Public

The slave shall address Owner as [Sir/Ma'am] at all times when there is not enough privacy to use the afore-mentioned title __________. The slave shall remain within eyesight of Owner unless permission is given to do otherwise. The slave shall be courteous and prompt at all times, showing Owner full respect.

The slave shall dress as Owner desires.

The slave shall not argue or complain when in public with Owner.

Training

Training activities include: daily discipline, offering bed cuffs, proper answers, spending the night in bondage.

Slave will be given a weekly training scheduled for Friday night. Slave shall keep [his/her] Friday evenings free so as to have plenty of time for discipline training.

Discipline includes: bondage and restraint, leash training, implements of discipline, training, body and foot worship.

Punishment will be given for the following offenses:
• Going anywhere without permission and/or threatening to do so
• Cockiness or rudeness
• Drinking without permission
• Disobedience
The slave shall perform the confession ritual once a month and be punished accordingly. Failure will be punished.

Explicit Permission: Slave will continually be trained and tested in explicit permission technique.

Special training activities include: Owner's complete control in [his/her] use of humiliation, surprise discipline, cage/bondage time, gags, hoods, etc., cleaning, servant feeding, retraining.

Progress Reports: Owner will prepare progress reports on the training of the slave as [he/she] desires.

Orgasm Control

Slave is to achieve orgasm ONLY by permission of Owner.

Slave's orgasms will be controlled for proper training of slave, teaching slave good habits, providing motivation, physical and sexual energy. Owner will allow slave reward upon permission.

Punishments
• Mild Punishments can include: slapping, ear or nipple pinching, cropping, hair pulling, going to bed early, time-outs
• Medium Punishments can include: multiple slapping, genital pinching, intense bondage time, clamps and weights.
• Severe Punishments can include: panty or ball gags, leg chains and/or handcuffs, caning.
Drinking and Drugs

Slave is allowed to drink alcohol or use ______ drugs only with explicit permission from Owner, when and where and how much [he/she] permits.

Drinking [will/will not] be permitted when going out to eat, [limited to 1 or 2 drinks with permission]. Slave may attend bars, etc., only with Owner, or with [his/her] permission to go with anyone else. Slave must ask permission for each and every drink.

Social Contact

Slave is allowed to write, visit and talk to any family member as long as it does not interfere with [his/her] servitude.

Slave is allowed to write, visit and talk to friends as long as it does not interfere with [his/her] servitude. All such contact will be monitored by Owner.

These are privileges, not rights, and should be appreciated.

Duration

This Contract is valid from this day until 6 months has passed, and then it may be renewed or renegotiated if Owner and/or slave feel it needs to be reviewed and updated. At that time, the servant will receive a new contract.

Accepted, understood and agreed to
this _____ day of ______________, 20__:

By:

__________________________, Owner

__________________________, slave


----------------------------------------------------



SUBMISSIVE CONTRACT TO MASTER
I _____________________ a submissive of the highest order, do hereby make this voluntary commitment to my Master.
 to be the true submissive that my Master deserves and wants and needs.
 to attend to his whims and desires offering him everything without interfering with his need to guide, teach, and train me in the ways of pain and pleasure and how they mesh.
 to offer my Master the use of my mouth, to kiss, lick, nibble, slide his cock into, fuck or use for any pleasure he chooses … and if it pleases my master those same lips and tongue will devote themselves to his pleasure by licking his entire body, bathing his balls and cock with soft licks which will excite and arouse him … cradling his cock with my tongue, and tonguing his ass as he desires … my tongue will explore every inch of my Master's body from his toes to the top of his head and EVERYTHING in between.
 to give my Master free rein of my tight sweet pussy for his pleasure … his wish here is my desire to fulfill … He will have many ideas of how to make our pussy responsive and dripping with sensory savory juices which will taste wonderful, make access into our pussy easy for his cock or any toy of his choice not to mention his mouth and tongue. This pussy will respond to the demands of Master, whether it is gentle lovemaking or hard fucking … it matters only that my Master wishes it and it is his.
 to let my Master access my ass for the many pleasures it offers him … whether it is to spank, to caress, to lick, to fondle, to fuck … it will be offered proudly and lovingly and obediently.
 to provide romance, fantasy, reality, or what ever setting my Master wishes to train his naughty slut … to be whomever Master needs at any given time …
 to do whatever and with whomever my Master wishes … without question or argument, knowing that my Master would never ask or demand things which would put his devoted submissive in real harm's way.
 to provide toys and accoutrements which will please and amuse Master and aid in my training.
 to be willing to learn to please my Master and to exist for that purpose when i am with him … and to make up with enthusiasm that which is lacking in my experience.
 to anticipate the needs of Master and to give freely of my time, love, devotion, passion both sensually and sexually and to meet his every whim, need, desire or command.
 to adore my Master and make him proud to have such a worthy submissive and lover.

-----------------------------------------------------


CONTRACT TO FILL BOY TOY SUBBIE POSITION
TO SERVE MISTRESS:
Mistress is a very sexual Domme with expansive needs and desires which will be attended to with joy, enthusiasm, and imagination and the greatest respect and obedience.
DUTIES:
 licking and sucking anywhere I wish whenever and wherever.
 bathing, drawing my bath, filling it with fragrance, surrounding it with candles, soft music, washing every inch of my body, paying particular attention to my breasts and cunt and clit. Washing my hair and licking my body dry or drying me off with a soft warm bath sheet. Other bath related duties might be shaving my legs, polishing my toenails, brushing my hair, applying lotions and creams and trimming my pubic hair … my bath is important to me … you must apply yourself to making it a lovely, sensual, erotic relaxing experience.
 sitting at my feet nude resting your head on my thigh.
 standing before me, presenting yourself for examination and giving your body solely for my pleasure.
 cheerfully fetching the cords when it is my wish to bind you.
 assuming the position of your head laying on your arms on the floor with your ass in the air for whatever pleases me to do with it.
 and when it is my wish to spank you, you will ask me … no beg me to do so and thank me for each time my hand or whatever I choose meets your bottom.
 you will never question an order, a suggestion, or a desire … for to do so will displease me.
 your demeanor will be strong yet very respectful unless I order you to be obsequious and fawning which you will do without question.
 you will NEVER cum without my permission and you will never ask to cum but wait for my direction … nor will you be manipulative to be spanked because spanking is NOT a punishment.
 you will choose a Safeword which will be respected without question.
IF YOU DISPLEASE ME:
 I will withdraw from you and may ask you to leave my presence
 I will not allow you the pleasure of your face in my pussy, drinking in my moist aroma
 you will be made to watch me or another pleasure my body without touching yourself or speaking.
 You will feel lonely, abandoned, and unloved and uncherished for the disobedient dog that you are.
IF YOU PLEASE ME:
 At my request you may lick and suck my clit, slide your tongue in and out of my sweet pussy.
 You may caress, lick and suckle at my beautiful large breasts.
 You may enter my cunt(at my request) with your fingers, tongue, cock, or any toys I may choose.
 You will bask in the warmth of my love and affection and be treated with love and respect reserved for a loyal and true slave.
 Upon request you may hold me, kiss me, make love to me, fuck me and sleep with me.
 You will be the gift I give myself for being the magnificent Mistress that I am.
Read this document carefully and if you can agree to ALL of the points, sign and date it and return it to me.
I ___________________ to be named as boytoy do agree to each of the demands of Mistress and wish only to live to serve her.