The Gift of Submission - 5/12/09

[2009/05/12 12:10] Pirate Russell: Well, let's get this train wreck started.....
[2009/05/12 12:10] Pirate Russell: Ok, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc.
[2009/05/12 12:10] ***SK***: YAY!
[2009/05/12 12:10] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/05/12 12:10] ***BC***: back
[2009/05/12 12:10] Top Friends v1.12: Cyndi Ohara (Friends) is online
[2009/05/12 12:10] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 1/2 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/05/12 12:10] ***HS***: wb
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: Good timing! he he
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: What Is Submission?
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1997
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: Submission: (by definition) the act of granting power to another
[2009/05/12 12:11] Pirate Russell: A rather frightening prospect for most people. To give control of yourself to someone else. The act of submitting is part of the power exchange inherent within a D/s relationship.
[2009/05/12 12:12] Pirate Russell: It is the giving of yourself to another within preset limits, arranged before hand.
[2009/05/12 12:12] Pirate Russell: It is an informed choice and therefor consensual. A person shouldn't just decide to submit to the first dominant they meet.
[2009/05/12 12:12] ***SK***: question
[2009/05/12 12:12] Pirate Russell: A submissive should take the time to get to know the dominant outside the roles of dominant and submissive, as the person he/she is.
[2009/05/12 12:13] Pirate Russell: ***SK***can it wait about 10 Min, or is is something that needs asking now?
[2009/05/12 12:13] ***SK***: it can wait, you just answered it miss :)
[2009/05/12 12:13] Pirate Russell smiles
[2009/05/12 12:13] Pirate Russell: With the information gathered during that initial learning of each other process, the submissive can then make an informed decision of whether or not to submit to that dominant.
[2009/05/12 12:13] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[2009/05/12 12:14] Pirate Russell: This is so important, I'll say it again!
[2009/05/12 12:14] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[2009/05/12 12:14] Pirate Russell: And this is for all members of the D/s Relationship, not just the Dominant
[2009/05/12 12:14] Pirate Russell: Each submissive must decide for themselves how far they are willing to go and still stay within the guidelines of safe sane and consensual, thereby not crossing into the realm of abuse.
[2009/05/12 12:15] Pirate Russell: The three tenets of D/s must always apply for the submission to be true submission and not abuse.
[2009/05/12 12:15] Pirate Russell: Why a person is submissive varies extensively from person to person. Some are submissive just for a little extra zing in their intimate lives. Others may have a deep psychological need that prevents them from being any other way.
[2009/05/12 12:17] Pirate Russell: There are three main types of submissives There are more concise groupings than these three broad ones, as evidenced by the 9 levels of submission that are widely used and referred to in many books and discussions of D/s.
[2009/05/12 12:17] Pirate Russell: ~A: Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
[2009/05/12 12:17] Pirate Russell: A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification. Once their sexual needs are met they are satisfied. They feel no real need to submit any personal control to another.
[2009/05/12 12:17] Pirate Russell: ~B: Psychological Submissive
[2009/05/12 12:17] Pirate Russell: This broad category tends to include those who are in it for the pain and humiliation a D/s relationship can give them.
[2009/05/12 12:18] Pirate Russell: This category tends to include most masochists. Those who have suffered real abuse and are stuck in victim mode, tend to end up in this category.
[2009/05/12 12:18] Pirate Russell: ~C: Natural Submissive (AKA True Submissive)
[2009/05/12 12:18] Pirate Russell: she/he is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification.
[2009/05/12 12:18] Pirate Russell: It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.
[2009/05/12 12:19] Pirate Russell: Who's to say which category is best?
[2009/05/12 12:19] Pirate Russell: Being submissive is unique and you are an individual. Being submissive comes from the heart. It can not be believably faked, acted or role played.
[2009/05/12 12:19] Pirate Russell: True submission is a gift of high value. It is my opinion that those in the lifestyle should not judge any one else within the lifestyle for their choices.
[2009/05/12 12:20] Pirate Russell: Who are we to say that a sexual sub is not submissive on a different level? Or that there can only be one type of submissive? Remember, life is full of small variances and innuendoes, so is D/s.
[2009/05/12 12:20] Pirate Russell: I'm going to finish up with the submissive Bill of Rights. Remember that submissives are not doormats they are people, strong enough to give themselves to another person, let someone else tell them, make them, watch them do what they're told!
[2009/05/12 12:21] Pirate Russell: submissive Bill of Rights:
[2009/05/12 12:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with courtesy.
[2009/05/12 12:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with respect.
[2009/05/12 12:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to express feelings, whether good or bad.
[2009/05/12 12:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to disagree and express disagreement.
[2009/05/12 12:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to stand up for your beliefs, values and morals.
[2009/05/12 12:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have a right to retain your self respect and self worth.
[2009/05/12 12:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to say No.
[2009/05/12 12:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
[2009/05/12 12:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated as an intelligent, thinking person, entitled to your feelings.
[2009/05/12 12:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to make mistakes and ask those mistakes to be forgiven.
[2009/05/12 12:24] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/05/12 12:24] Pirate Russell: For future classes check the Search/Events and look for College or Join House of V Friends, or House of V groups, for notices immediately before the classes.
[2009/05/12 12:24] Pirate Russell: Questions, Comments???.
[2009/05/12 12:24] ***BC***: i have something to ask about SSC
[2009/05/12 12:25] ***SK***: What is SSC Please :)
[2009/05/12 12:25] ***BC***: i am a rl switch in a poly household we do not practice SSC we practice RACK
[2009/05/12 12:25] ***BC***: since W/we are all into extreme edge play
[2009/05/12 12:25] Pirate Russell: SSC is Safe, Sane and Consensual
[2009/05/12 12:25] ***BC***: yes
[2009/05/12 12:25] ***BC***: and RACK is rish awear consensual kink
[2009/05/12 12:26] Pirate Russell: Chieck
[2009/05/12 12:26] Pirate Russell: Er check
[2009/05/12 12:26] ***BC***: sorry i meant risk awear
[2009/05/12 12:26] Pirate Russell: and each of us has our own Safe, Sane consunsual, and risk wawareness
[2009/05/12 12:26] ***BC***: most edge players feel that thier activitys they are involved with are not safe
[2009/05/12 12:27] ***BC***: but as long as the sub consents to it it is fine
[2009/05/12 12:27] Pirate Russell: Ultimately, none of us wants to die, we all have limits
[2009/05/12 12:27] ***SK***: Are we still talkign withign the confines of SL
[2009/05/12 12:27] ***BC***: yes i understand that but many who are into lets say breathplay
[2009/05/12 12:27] ***BC***: breathplay is not safe
[2009/05/12 12:27] ***BC***: so many classify that under RACK and not SSC
[2009/05/12 12:28] Pirate Russell: Depends on the competence of the Dom, and the trust
[2009/05/12 12:29] ***BC***: i am speaking from rl experience when i say my rl master is very much into breath play VERY much he is much older 44 25plus years experience he has taken me to passing out a few times with out meaning to
[2009/05/12 12:29] ***BC***: with breath play you can not ever be sure
[2009/05/12 12:29] Pirate Russell: Ok, gotcha
[2009/05/12 12:29] ***SK***: oh, I though this was about SL only
[2009/05/12 12:30] ***BC***: im sorry if it is
[2009/05/12 12:30] Pirate Russell: I only know about SL, though, I draw from RL experiences of others, and writings, ALL the time!
[2009/05/12 12:30] ***BC***: i just am also into it rl
[2009/05/12 12:30] ***SK***: There would be huge differentce betweetn SL adn RL
[2009/05/12 12:30] ***SK***: SL is physically safe
[2009/05/12 12:30] ***BC***: yes
[2009/05/12 12:31] Pirate Russell: Well, yes and no. I have had subbies that do things in RL, at My urging, one was arrested. So the lines blur
[2009/05/12 12:32] ***SK***: yes, if you take SL into RL the line can blur as SL becomes just a communication mechanism
[2009/05/12 12:32] Pirate Russell: (She flashed the wong guy, he was an under cover cop)
[2009/05/12 12:32] ***HS***: LOL
[2009/05/12 12:32] ***SK*** giggles :)
[2009/05/12 12:32] Pirate Russell: that's what it has always been for Me, ***SK***. I RL LOVE My girls
[2009/05/12 12:33] ***SK***: yes, i have real feeling to :)
[2009/05/12 12:34] ***SK***: that would be part of the expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[2009/05/12 12:34] ***SK***: If you are willing to take RL direction
[2009/05/12 12:35] ***SK***: I have just come u pon that, my Master wants me to take enhancement pills, but I am leary about allowing RL directions
[2009/05/12 12:35] Pirate Russell: And part of that pre-submission discussion, or negiotiation
[2009/05/12 12:36] Pirate Russell: Well, as I said in the Submissive Bill of Rights, you have the RIGHT to walk away from an unsafe or abusive situation
[2009/05/12 12:36] ***JM***: ooh if dont feel comfortable with it ***SK***, DONT
[2009/05/12 12:37] ***SK***: yes, those thing smay be dangerous :)
[2009/05/12 12:37] ***SK***: Miss Pirate, may I ask how you felt when you heard she got arrested
[2009/05/12 12:38] ***SK***: I am wondering if it will affect how you would direct someone in RL again
[2009/05/12 12:39] Pirate Russell: I felt like shit! My first rule for My girls is "RL comes first, if you're not having fun, then let's talk"
[2009/05/12 12:39] Pirate Russell: And if you're not comfy in RL or SL, let's find something that W/we like.
[2009/05/12 12:39] ***SK***: yes, I agree, it must be fun, and you must put yoru RL first
[2009/05/12 12:39] Pirate Russell: I don't know anyone that's not in SL to have fun
[2009/05/12 12:40] ***SK***: neither do i, but I have meet many who seem to not want to :)
[2009/05/12 12:40] Pirate Russell: yeah, Me too! LOL
[2009/05/12 12:40] ***SK***: haha
[2009/05/12 12:40] Pirate Russell: But I don't hang with them, though
[2009/05/12 12:41] ***SK***: I think a submissive who is willing to take directions in RL has to have much clarity of though so she understands what it is she is exactly doing
[2009/05/12 12:41] ***SK***: I am well versed in the art of ignoring :)
[2009/05/12 12:41] ***KM***: ok, I gotta say this, she got arrested for flashing an undercover cop? he blew his cover over a flashing? she must have one hell of a rack because, that's bragging rights
[2009/05/12 12:41] ***HS***: hehehe
[2009/05/12 12:42] Pirate Russell: I'm sorry, he was off duty, not under cover.
[2009/05/12 12:42] Pirate Russell: and yes, she does have 'one helluva rack'! He he
[2009/05/12 12:42] ***KM***: omg, of all the people it just had to be an odo, that's STILL bragging rights *laughs*
[2009/05/12 12:42] ***SK***: well it will be embarrssing but hopefully not affect her to much in her future
[2009/05/12 12:43] Pirate Russell: Nope, first offender, stuff, she's good
[2009/05/12 12:43] ***SK***: we all make mistakes :)
[2009/05/12 12:43] ***SK***: I make them all the time, I just dont get caught much :)
[2009/05/12 12:44] Pirate Russell: Even Me, I'm on My 2nd Hubby, I was wrong at least once!
[2009/05/12 12:44] ***SK***: haha, well for now at least once :)
[2009/05/12 12:44] ***SK***: hahah
[2009/05/12 12:46] Pirate Russell: Any other qustions?
[2009/05/12 12:46] ***SK***: Thank you Miss Pirate, this information is very valuable :)
[2009/05/12 12:46] ***HS***: Frack!!! Got to run! Pirate, see you later. Everybody, bye!
[2009/05/12 12:46] Pirate Russell watches ***HS***'s ass as she runs
[2009/05/12 12:47] Pirate Russell: Well, thanks for coming , it was a great class.... Class dismissed!
[2009/05/12 12:47] Jacques Klees: let me worry about that
[2009/05/12 12:48] ***SK***: I will try to get some of the new girls to come to y our next class :)