Edgeplay - 5/26/09

[12:00] Dominic Rahja: ok , class is gonna start now
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: Im coming a little closer
[12:01] ***ES***: Hello ***eP***.
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: else its such a distance
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: greets ***eP***
[12:01] Dominic Rahja: welcome all at the college of kink
[12:01] ***eP***: ty Sir
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: lemme explain a bit about how class is managed
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: I usually do a short introduction of the topic
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: then I got some copy and paste work
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: after that, there room for open discussion
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: if you got any questions or remarkd
[12:02] Dominic Rahja: remarks
[12:03] Dominic Rahja: type an @
[12:03] Dominic Rahja: and I stop to let you speak
[12:03] Dominic Rahja: class is all done in text chat
[12:03] Dominic Rahja: I wont react to voicing
[12:03] Dominic Rahja: hello ***DM***
[12:04] ***DM***: hi
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: the topic for todays class is called Edge play
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: I think many of you heard of this word
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: certainly those who are into a D/s life style
[12:04] ***NZ***: Master explain pls
[12:04] Dominic Rahja: I will baby
[12:04] ***NZ***: just in case
[12:05] ***NZ***: ha yes sorry Master
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: the reason for this topic is..
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: here on sl, you see a lot of edge play going on
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: and I wonder in waht way it all is D/s
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: D/s stands for Dominance/submission
[12:05] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: I'll explain what edge play is now
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: Today’s class handles about a section of BDSM which we call “Edge play”.
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: In fact you can split BD and SM. Edgeplay belongs to the Sadistic Masochist side of it.
[12:06] Dominic Rahja: The word edge play refers to playing near the edge.
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: There where Safe, Sane and Consensual come in question.
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: In other words: more or less the Extreme fetishes in a BDSM play.
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: greets Greenleaf
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: In usual D/s relationships, edgeplay is discussed, but never carried out in practice.
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: This because of it’s extreme nature.
[12:07] Dominic Rahja: In SL however, it’s a very common thing.
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: Most BDSM SIMs in SL actually show edgeplay, but then of course in a virtual way.
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: hey hey ***TY***
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: welcome
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: What does edgeplay contain?
[12:08] ***TY***: hi Dom
[12:08] ***TY***: hey Nef
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: Well I can make a summary of it, but there are probably a lot more scenes you could add to it.
[12:08] Dominic Rahja: For instance: burning, cutting, rape, hanging, breath play, blood, toilet play, extreme public humiliation, pony play, bestiality, deformation, etc.
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: Many new to BDSM and only know about it from SL, could get the idea, that BDSM in general is about extreme domination, or SadoMasochism.
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: Of course that isn’t the right image.
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: Edgeplay in SL is of course easier to carry out than it is in RL, but still can shock people.
[12:09] Dominic Rahja: a note:
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: the reason why you see so much extreme torture in SL, is mainly because it does attract people
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: people are curious by nature
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: hey Slip
[12:10] ***SF***: hello Sir
[12:10] ***SF***: Hello Miss Nef
[12:10] Dominic Rahja: For most of us in BDSM SL, it became quite a common sight, to see subs being punished and tortured in that way.
[12:11] ***NZ***: hello ***SF***
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: SL is about having fun, and edgeplay can add to that.
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: But the risk is that people might think BDSM lifestylers are a bunch of freaks, sadists who get off by the look of someone in pain or agony.
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: I must also add that SL does provide a practice area for the “sick minded”.
[12:11] Dominic Rahja: If you look at some peoples profiles, I’m sometimes stunned of what they wrote in it
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: Also the way of some people approaching another, the language used, and that most times in IM, makes me wonder if we are not dealing with a real perv.
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: in other words:
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: this has nothing to do with BDSM anymore
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: but just gaming
[12:12] ***DS***: ill follow you
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: greets ***HC***
[12:12] Dominic Rahja: and ***DS***
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: welcome to college of kink
[12:13] ***DS***: hiiii
[12:13] ***HC***: hello dominic
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: BDSM unlike virtually any other lifestyle offers the potential to extend the experiences of the individual into new realms and areas that they have never had the opportunity to explore before
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: In the beginning everything is a challenge.
[12:13] ***HC***: is this text or audio?
[12:13] Dominic Rahja: text
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: if I go to fast, then just tell me
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: From the action of merely speaking an honorific title such as Mistress/Master to learning the basic responses, positions and commands that you desire for them to utilize when with you.
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: These basic foundations are crucial to building the type of relationship that grows, evolves and flourishes.
[12:14] Dominic Rahja: But, at some point your submissive gets it!
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: They conquer that phase of the learning process and your exchange together in 'scene' may be reaching a plateau.
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: You have spent considerable time in conversation with your submissive about 'their perceived limits!'
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: I say it this way on purpose.
[12:15] Dominic Rahja: In any relationship limits are guessed at.
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: many I mean
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: In a new sub they are to some extent completely unknown.
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: A person cannot know what they like or dislike if they have never had any occasion to experience them.
[12:16] ***NZ***: nods
[12:16] Dominic Rahja: There are some absolutes - these (in general may be children and animals - scat is also Very often a firm taboo!)
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: Beyond these absolute limits there is a huge playing field.
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: EDGE PLAY is the action of offering new challenges to the Edges of play you and your submissive are already familiar with.
[12:17] Dominic Rahja: Every physical challenge is equally mentally challenging as it is asking your submissive to reach beyond where they think they can . . . for you . . . for them!
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: It may be as simple as progressing from one set of clamps to another . . . from spanking to the introduction of the crop.
[12:18] ***SF*** smiels
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: It may be as complex as sensory deprivation and trust play.
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: When is it time?
[12:18] Dominic Rahja: First it is crucial that you have a strong established trust!
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: Second, you must have a pretty good working knowledge as to your sub's mindset, their attitude, moods, desires.
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: Explore things conversationally at first.
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: Express thoughts about say (a photo you have seen and shared), a scene you saw in a movie or read about . . . see what makes your sub nervously excited.
[12:19] Dominic Rahja: This is called 'planting a seed'.
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: It forewarns your sub of where you are thinking.
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: It allows them to talk to you in advance and prepare mentally and fantasize!
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: This is important when your relationship is fairly young.
[12:20] Dominic Rahja: It is fragile.
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: Trust is so very important that you cannot thrust something on them 'in scene' that they might consider a violation of their limits.
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: Out of scene later such a transgression may destroy your relationship and all of your hopes and dreams . . .
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: To me, the peak of EDGE PLAY is within the mind itself.
[12:21] Dominic Rahja: It is to take the submissive further, to trust deeper, fly higher than they have ever believed possible.
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: For each submissive the tools used to assist them are different, it is a truth that every one is different and unique.
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: Discovering their personal triggers and using them is perhaps the greatest challenge and joy a dominant can experience!
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:22] Dominic Rahja: so far the pasting
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: if you listened well, you might have noticed a controverse
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: when I started the introduction I was mentioning the risks of SL
[12:23] Dominic Rahja: about edge play places here that might trigger the wrong idea
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: but then further up I more and more started to talk about challenges
[12:24] Dominic Rahja: and putting your relationship uopon a higher level
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: it is a fact that exploration of whats possible between the limits of your fantasy , makes D/s more adventurous
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: as long!
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: the 3 keywords are valued
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: safe
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: sane
[12:25] Dominic Rahja: consensual
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: whatever kink or fetish one may have
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: always discuss it first
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: and probably you will see you both are like wise thinking
[12:26] Dominic Rahja: but now after discussing it, your sure about it
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: when exploring, take it step by step
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: I mean it would be wierd as soon you found a nice sub girl at HoV....
[12:27] Dominic Rahja: and the next you put her on a bbq
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: god knows she likes it laffs
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: but big chance she doesnt
[12:28] ***OT***: but she always taste like chicken to Me
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[12:28] ***TY***: and then you have to find a new sub
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: so far
[12:28] ***TY***: ::sighs::
[12:28] Dominic Rahja: any questions?
[12:28] ***HC***: why is this forum mandatory?
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: thats probably how HoV staff like to call it
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: I simpy teach
[12:29] ***OT***: so these limits you speak of......is that in relation to both sub and slave?
[12:29] Dominic Rahja: so I dont know why its mandatory
[12:30] ***HC***: its good to have these discussions... i go to them at d/s academy
[12:30] Dominic Rahja: first ***OT***s question
[12:30] ***HC***: can we stretch the topic of discussion?
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: limits are usually set during a talk about D/s between Dominant and sub
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: you got your limits
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: and your sub got limits
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: some are hard limits
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: things ud never cross
[12:31] ***OT***: so you are saying this does not apply to a Master and slave?
[12:31] Dominic Rahja: some are softer limits
[12:32] Dominic Rahja: sure it does
[12:32] Dominic Rahja: how you call the submissive, pet, slave or whatever..
[12:32] Dominic Rahja: limits always apply
[12:32] ***OT***: hmm funny, had thought a slave gave all, not just conditional as a sub does
[12:32] ***OT***: but ok
[12:32] Dominic Rahja: some even set up a contract in which limits are written down
[12:33] Dominic Rahja: that answer covers your question ***OT***?
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: ***HC***? Your question was?
[12:34] ***NZ*** spanks ***SA***'s ass
[12:34] Dominic Rahja: smiles
[12:34] ***SA***: hey
[12:34] ***SA***: :)
[12:34] ***NZ***: ooops
[12:34] ***OT***: she needs another
[12:35] ***NZ***: haa
[12:35] ***OT*** grins
[12:35] ***SA***: hee hee
[12:35] ***SA***: is this exercise class?
[12:35] ***SA***: :P~
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: in any way, I saw mention other schools and teaching places
[12:35] ***OT***: prenatal
[12:35] Dominic Rahja: all have their own ways
[12:35] ***SA***: you look pregnant
[12:35] ***HC***: to me the d/s relationship works best between two people, for me man and woman, i have been frustrated when there are mutiple subs with a dom/master.... do you have thoughts about multiple slaves/subs?
[12:35] ***SA***: :P~
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: I do have thoughts about that yes
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: but it prolly takes a full lecture to explain My thoughts about that
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: in general..
[12:36] ***SF*** grins
[12:36] Dominic Rahja: but please, this is MY opinion..
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: a D/s relationship invloving more than 1 sub or slave, is much more complicated
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: and takes a lot more time investment
[12:37] Dominic Rahja: if everyone in the "family" are well known to eachother
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: and jealousy doesnt play a role, it can work
[12:38] Dominic Rahja: but maybe someone here would like to react to that
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: btw, this has nothing to do with "esge play"
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: edge
[12:39] ***OT***: @
[12:39] ***TY***: @
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: maybe ***HC***, you got an opinion about multiple subs in a family?
[12:39] Dominic Rahja: ***OT***?
[12:40] Dominic Rahja: and after ***OT***, ***TY***
[12:40] ***HC***: your definition of edging is diferent than the one i commonly think about... i consider edging the sexual feelings just before release of an orgasm
[12:40] ***OT***: do you not think that if you know a slave well enough for edgeplay then the factor of trust without question would be more exciting than the limits placed?
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: ok ***HC***, in this sense, edgeplay is about extreme D's dominantion, like torture etc
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: surely ***OT***
[12:41] ***OT*** nods
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: when a relationship is well established
[12:41] Dominic Rahja: you know the sub/slave very well
[12:42] ***HC***: my feelings are that there are so many areas to explore with one person, that a domina having multiple subs takes away from the widest range of mental, emotional, and physical growth thata can be experinced
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: but probably all kinds of talks already passed
[12:42] Dominic Rahja: yes thats the risk of it ***HC***
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: Ive seen a lot of Dominants loosing their way because there was so mucht o think of
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: all subs need attention
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: and the more you got, the busier it gets
[12:43] Dominic Rahja: its a choice one makes
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: I got one sub here sitting at My feet
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: thats good enough for Me
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: we together explore
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: and I give her full attention
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: but like I said before: thats My choice
[12:44] Dominic Rahja: sometimes...
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: a certain roleplay in SL requires having more subs
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: this for instance can happen in Gorean places
[12:45] Dominic Rahja: but if uou like, I can do a class about this topic soon
[12:45] ***aC***: @Dominic, is there ever a hierarchy between the subs? and does one ever delegate responsiblities over other subs?
[12:46] ***TY***: @
[12:46] ***HC***: how often are these classes?
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: ***TY*** first, then I answer your question ***aC***
[12:46] ***TY***: well I just wanted to add... that I've been in multi sub family both rl and sl
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: she was waitinga while already
[12:46] Dominic Rahja: yes
[12:46] ***TY***: I've had an alpha sub above me...
[12:47] ***TY***: that family worked well... the alpha was Master's wife
[12:47] ***TY***: so no jealousy issues were ever a problem
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: yes it can work well for sure
[12:47] Dominic Rahja: and this is the answer to ***aC***'s question as well
[12:47] ***TY***: on sl.. I was the alpha... and again... no jealousy issues.. because I assisted in bringing in the other subs
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: nods
[12:48] ***TY***: making sure they fit with each other
[12:48] ***TY***: and for the Master's needs
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: in most multi sub families there is a hierarchy
[12:48] ***TY***: in both cases females did not begin as bi
[12:48] Dominic Rahja: the one closest to the Dominant, is in charge of a couple of tasks
[12:48] ***TY***: though at the end. some were
[12:48] ***TY***: ::smiles::
[12:49] ***TY***: as Sir Dom said... limits being explored
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: nods
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: people just have to fit together, thats the major issue
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: I mean
[12:49] ***TY***: and yes... as the alpha... I was closest to him... and had to keep the small daily bickering away from him
[12:49] Dominic Rahja: suppose you gota well established family
[12:49] ***TY***: the kind most families deal with
[12:50] Eilish Flanagan is Offline
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: and suddenly a sub comes in the family who doesnt really fit in
[12:50] ***OT***: we call it 1st girl
[12:50] Dominic Rahja: that can break them all
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: 1 st girl is more or less a Gorean title
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: but is used in BDSM as well
[12:51] ***OT***: yes
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: sometimes..
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: it can happen that relativly experienced sub likes to be the bottom
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: fine
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: if thats what she enjoys
[12:51] Dominic Rahja: btw
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: when I type she, I mean he as well
[12:52] Dominic Rahja: we're talking about male and female subs in this manner
[12:53] Dominic Rahja: any more questions or remarks?
[12:53] Dominic Rahja: you know what can be tricky?
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: when you as a Dominant meet up with a sub
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: and both like eachother
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: but!
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: she asks you: Sir
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: I like dolcett and doll play and I want humiliation and gangbanged
[12:54] Dominic Rahja: laffs
[12:55] ***aC***: smiles
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: be careful not to say: but of course girl, that we'll do
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[12:55] ***TY***: mumbleswecanreferhermumbles
[12:55] ***TY***: lol
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: of course you can exp[lore that one day
[12:55] Dominic Rahja: but not withing a few days I should say
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: also
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: a sub saying that gives me the first impression of a topping bottom
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: first u gotta know eachother
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: and!
[12:56] Dominic Rahja: a Dominant got limits as well
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: I heard someone asking when are classes held here
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: I dont know exactly
[12:57] ***HC***: yes
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: I do class here on tuesdays
[12:57] Dominic Rahja: cept next week, cuz Im on a holiday
[12:58] Dominic Rahja: but if you got a House of V tag, you get the group messages
[12:58] ***cP***: raises eye brows at Dom
[12:58] ***TY***: smiles at Nef
[12:58] Dominic Rahja: alse, you can ask Pirate Rusell, she manages classes here
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: you look good with raised eyebrows cogbnac
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: hehe
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: ok
[12:59] Dominic Rahja: I thank you all for listening in