Thursday, March 19, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
The Responsibility of Dominance - 3/9/09
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: Ok, T/those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc.
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL over 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/09 9:15] Free Radar HUD v1.1 by Crystal Gadgets
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: O/our topic today: The Repsonsibility of Dominance
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: I would like to preface this with My usual, EVERY releationship is as different as those that are in it.
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: I used to say the two that are in it, but relationships now include more than two, but I won't go so far as to include the occasional farm animal, though.
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: Dominants have responsibilities and, yes rules, too!
[2009/03/09 9:16] Pirate Russell: The Highest Honour That A Dominant Could Ever Achieve Is The State Of Honour Itself. To Be Completely Respected And Trusted.
[2009/03/09 9:16] Pirate Russell: There Are Some Definite Guidelines About Being A Dominant. With The Ever Growing Population Of "Chatrooms" There Appears To Be A Lot Of Confusion About The Dominants Role In The "Online" Lifestyle.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: The Foundation Of The Dominant Are Based On 3 Li'l Words:
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Trust
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Honour
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Respect
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Each Dominant Should Be Able To Display Chararistics Of These Words, Both "Online" As Well As Offline.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: The Power Exchange Is About Trust Can You Trust Someone Who Dismisses Your Feelings Even In An "Online" Relationship.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Playing In Other Chats Or Instant Messengers, Secretly Accepting Other "submissives" All The While He Is Claiming He Is "Trustworthy"?
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Is It Acceptable For A Dominant To Hide "Online" Things From His submissive?
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: Especially If They Plan On A Real Time Meeting Or Relationship? If They Hiding Things Here, Wonders What They are going to Hide From You RL.
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: One Of The Things A submissive Must Have Is The Confidence In Their Dominant Will Not Harm Them Nor Allow Harm To Come To Them.
[2009/03/09 9:18] ***TF*** nods
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: Trust Must Be Established. This Goes For The Mental Health As Well As The Physical Aspect Of The Relationship.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: Trust Will Grow As We Respect And Honour Each Other. Please Get To Know The Person You Are Considering To Be In A Relationship With.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: You Are Trusting Someone With The Most Precious Thing You Have...Your LIFE. You Can Quickly End Up In A Situation That Is Neither Safe, Sane, Nor Consensual.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: Can You Really Trust Your Life To Someone who Takes No Value Of The Words Trust, Honour & Respect?
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: According to Rules for Masters by Jack Rinella <>
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: 1. Have some rules. Over time, of course, each one of us gains insight into what works and what doesn't. Some of this wisdom is codified into rules.
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: Rules are protective, instructive, and helpful. Having rules means that you know yourself, know what you want and don't want, and understand that everyone, including yourself, has limits.
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: I know some people think they have no limits. They are fooling themselves as we are all constrained by physical nature, economic considerations, legal issues, and moral and ethical realities.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: We are all limited by the rose colored glasses through which we see the world. Rules help us respect those limits and avoid the trouble that is encountered when we exceed them.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: 2. Make sure those rules are your rules. You can't (well you can if you want) just go out and find some rules and use them.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: Rules must take their life from who you are. Rules must reflect the authentic you. If they don't, they will be burdensome and unenforceable.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: Good rules, then, start from the first rule of life: "Know thyself." I guess I would then temper that with "Love, and then do whatever you will." That doesn't mean that you can't borrow or copy another's rules. By all means do so.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. If Master so and so has a reason for doing something and you like it, then do it too. Just make sure the rules resonate with who you are and what you want.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: I can not be too strong in emphasizing the importance of the inner self in this arena of rule-making column.
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: 3. Don't make brittle rules. Rules are helpful because they add clarity and facilitate decision making. Rules cut in stone become millstones and anchors.
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: Now I have nothing against either of those things as we need to grind grain and anchor boats,
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: but if you think you can run your dungeon, your slave, or your life by a set of rules that are set in concrete or carved in granite, then you are kidding yourself.
[2009/03/09 9:23] ***HM***: *nods*
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: Better than a long list of rules, one might have a list of principles, guidelines for action. Certainly they may lend themselves to codification, but the spirit of the principle is much more important than the letter of the law.
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: The Sabbath, after all, was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Besides, there are always going to be exceptions and no amount of rule writing is going to cover all the possibilities.
[2009/03/09 9:24] ***EB***: hmm
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: 4. Communicate those rules. It's obvious that we need to communicate rules to slaves so that they obey them. The same goes for rules for ourselves.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Of course, punnishing for not following unkown rules is a fun scene... he he
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Over time, I tell my applicants my rules and explain why I have them. I won't, for instance, let a subissive write and talk endlessly.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: He has got to show up at my doorstep within 6-8 weeks of our initial meeting. Why? Because I'm not into cybersex.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Are there exceptions? Sure. The date can be extended for lots of reasons, but the communication will be curtailed until the plane ticket is bought. It's simply a matter that if you're not ready, then please don't act like you are.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: Communicating your rules has some nice benefits.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: It shows you are in control, that you have an understanding of what you want and don't want, and that you've thought about being a Master.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: It also gives the submissive a sense of security to know that you have rules too, such as "I will not have un-safe sex." Now he knows he doesn't have to worry about one thing anyway.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: 5. Remember man, that thou art dust; or get real. These Doms who think the world revolves around them need to think again.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: Humility is a still a virtue, even in a person who wields great power. Being in control doesn't that mean that a person needs to be haughty, egotistical, or obnoxious.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: If you are truly a person born to rule, then you have no need to put on airs. Pretense smells. Honesty, sincerity, and generosity have quite a different odor about them.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: There's also a side of this rule that involves practicality. Your rules need to be pragmatic, workable, reasonable, measurable, and enforceable.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: If they aren't, they will be honored only in the breaking and you will be seen as living in a fantasy world. It's one thing, of course, to have a rule for a weekend scene, quite another to have a rule for living out the rest of your life.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: 6. Stay above it. Just because the world is going to hell in a hand basket is no reason for you to do the same. Have high standards and stick to them.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: 7. Set benchmarks and progress points. A person becomes a doctor through a long and arduous series of learning experiences and tests that prove the experiences have had their desired effect.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: Each passing grade through high school, college, and med school contributes to the eventual M.D. Each evaluation, and not any single one, grants a person his or her license to practice medicine.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: It is no different for plumbers, electricians, or anyone else who wishes to acquire skill and standing.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: As you evaluate prospective slaves, recognize that this is a process and note their success or failure at each step of the way.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Too often we want to jump to a full-blown contract while what are required are small steps and a gradual process.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Heat milk quickly and it scalds, heat it slowly and it comes out just right.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Running evaluations are helpful to everyone. Rules, after all, are meant to be helpful, indicative of reality.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: 8. Don't talk it all to death. submissives, if you want no more than phone and cyber sex, then keep talking. If you want real leather, you have to get physical.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: We are, after all, trying to develop real relationships. If I'm never going to meet you, I'm never going to be your master. You can pretend all you want on the phone.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: It might even get you off. But one of my rules is that until you've shaken hands, you haven't met. Until I can look at you eye to eye, eat a meal with you, and hear your voice without the benefit of wires or radio waves, it's just a prelude and nothing mo
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: 9. Take responsibility. First and foremost you, top or bottom, are responsible for the consequences of your actions. Recognize that fact. Act responsibly. You are the one, after all, who wants to be in control.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: 10. When a person says one thing and does another, I always listen to what they do. That advice has stood me in good stead. I hope it does the same for you.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: I'd like to wind up today's talk with the Seven Pillars of Dominance:
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige. The Dictionnaire de l’Académie française defines it thus:
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: Whoever claims to be noble must conduct himself nobly
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: If a Dominant is the centre of a submissive's universe, it is because she thinks so, not because he does.
[2009/03/09 9:35] ***EB*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: THAT is the secret of BDSM
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just because. The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Tuesday & Thursday 12:30a.
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: THAT is wrong... he he
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell:
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: [ you have reached the end of the current notecard - resetting to first line... ]
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: Questions??? Comments???
[2009/03/09 9:36] ***TF*** shakes her head smiling
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***EB***: none here
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***TF***: Thank you Miss Pirate
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***EB***: thanks Pirate
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***HM***: is thinking perhaps thers more work as the owner.
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: This is promising to be a short class
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***CS***: thanks Pirate...
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: Yes, there is, depending on the submissive, some are "High Maint.
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: "
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***IM*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***AM***: Thank you Pirate.
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***HM***: although... on the other hand.... not sure i think of it as 'work' necessarily
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: The ones that want you to select their clothing
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: etc.
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: oh i enjoy that
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***AM***: I would hope not, Master.
[2009/03/09 9:38] Pirate Russell: ***IM***here makes My life WAY easier, even when she's not about
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***TF*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***IM*** beams
[2009/03/09 9:38] Pirate Russell: I selected ***IM***'s outfit, today, too, I just hope nobody clicks the knot on her shoulder
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***EB***: oh yeah
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***EB***: lol
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: franticaly looks for the knot
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: lol
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***IM*** groans
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***IM***: Hi Sir ***PM***
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***TF*** whispers "the single knot at top holding her camisk up"
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***PM***: Hello ***IM***
[2009/03/09 9:40] Pirate Russell: Hi ***PM***, just into the discussion part of Dominant Responsibilities
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***TF*** giggles "this ***TF*** should go before she gets into trouble, thank you again Miss Pirate and ***IM***
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***PM***: Excellent, thank you.
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***IM***: Bye ***TF***. Thanks for coming.
[2009/03/09 9:41] ***TF*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:41] ***TF***: Miss is there a tip jar?
[2009/03/09 9:42] Pirate Russell: Yes, any donation kiosk for Project Children at West of Ireland
[2009/03/09 9:42] ***IM*** smiles. Thank You Mistress.
[2009/03/09 9:42] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:43] Pirate Russell: Any other questions, comments or girls that want to strip?
[2009/03/09 9:43] ***CT***: heh heh
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: Going once......
[2009/03/09 9:44] ***CT***: BTW MIss Pirate, best speakers outfit Ive even seen.
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: .................. twice..................
[2009/03/09 9:44] ***HM***: colleen said she would
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: he he, thanks
[2009/03/09 9:45] Pirate Russell: ............................. Class dismissed.. I think Friday I'm gonna have a naked class day for EVERYONE! he he
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL over 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/03/09 9:14] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/09 9:15] Free Radar HUD v1.1 by Crystal Gadgets
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: O/our topic today: The Repsonsibility of Dominance
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: I would like to preface this with My usual, EVERY releationship is as different as those that are in it.
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: I used to say the two that are in it, but relationships now include more than two, but I won't go so far as to include the occasional farm animal, though.
[2009/03/09 9:15] Pirate Russell: Dominants have responsibilities and, yes rules, too!
[2009/03/09 9:16] Pirate Russell: The Highest Honour That A Dominant Could Ever Achieve Is The State Of Honour Itself. To Be Completely Respected And Trusted.
[2009/03/09 9:16] Pirate Russell: There Are Some Definite Guidelines About Being A Dominant. With The Ever Growing Population Of "Chatrooms" There Appears To Be A Lot Of Confusion About The Dominants Role In The "Online" Lifestyle.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: The Foundation Of The Dominant Are Based On 3 Li'l Words:
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Trust
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Honour
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Respect
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Each Dominant Should Be Able To Display Chararistics Of These Words, Both "Online" As Well As Offline.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: The Power Exchange Is About Trust Can You Trust Someone Who Dismisses Your Feelings Even In An "Online" Relationship.
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Playing In Other Chats Or Instant Messengers, Secretly Accepting Other "submissives" All The While He Is Claiming He Is "Trustworthy"?
[2009/03/09 9:17] Pirate Russell: Is It Acceptable For A Dominant To Hide "Online" Things From His submissive?
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: Especially If They Plan On A Real Time Meeting Or Relationship? If They Hiding Things Here, Wonders What They are going to Hide From You RL.
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: One Of The Things A submissive Must Have Is The Confidence In Their Dominant Will Not Harm Them Nor Allow Harm To Come To Them.
[2009/03/09 9:18] ***TF*** nods
[2009/03/09 9:18] Pirate Russell: Trust Must Be Established. This Goes For The Mental Health As Well As The Physical Aspect Of The Relationship.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: Trust Will Grow As We Respect And Honour Each Other. Please Get To Know The Person You Are Considering To Be In A Relationship With.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: You Are Trusting Someone With The Most Precious Thing You Have...Your LIFE. You Can Quickly End Up In A Situation That Is Neither Safe, Sane, Nor Consensual.
[2009/03/09 9:19] Pirate Russell: Can You Really Trust Your Life To Someone who Takes No Value Of The Words Trust, Honour & Respect?
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: According to Rules for Masters by Jack Rinella <
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: 1. Have some rules. Over time, of course, each one of us gains insight into what works and what doesn't. Some of this wisdom is codified into rules.
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: Rules are protective, instructive, and helpful. Having rules means that you know yourself, know what you want and don't want, and understand that everyone, including yourself, has limits.
[2009/03/09 9:20] Pirate Russell: I know some people think they have no limits. They are fooling themselves as we are all constrained by physical nature, economic considerations, legal issues, and moral and ethical realities.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: We are all limited by the rose colored glasses through which we see the world. Rules help us respect those limits and avoid the trouble that is encountered when we exceed them.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: 2. Make sure those rules are your rules. You can't (well you can if you want) just go out and find some rules and use them.
[2009/03/09 9:21] Pirate Russell: Rules must take their life from who you are. Rules must reflect the authentic you. If they don't, they will be burdensome and unenforceable.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: Good rules, then, start from the first rule of life: "Know thyself." I guess I would then temper that with "Love, and then do whatever you will." That doesn't mean that you can't borrow or copy another's rules. By all means do so.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. If Master so and so has a reason for doing something and you like it, then do it too. Just make sure the rules resonate with who you are and what you want.
[2009/03/09 9:22] Pirate Russell: I can not be too strong in emphasizing the importance of the inner self in this arena of rule-making column.
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: 3. Don't make brittle rules. Rules are helpful because they add clarity and facilitate decision making. Rules cut in stone become millstones and anchors.
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: Now I have nothing against either of those things as we need to grind grain and anchor boats,
[2009/03/09 9:23] Pirate Russell: but if you think you can run your dungeon, your slave, or your life by a set of rules that are set in concrete or carved in granite, then you are kidding yourself.
[2009/03/09 9:23] ***HM***: *nods*
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: Better than a long list of rules, one might have a list of principles, guidelines for action. Certainly they may lend themselves to codification, but the spirit of the principle is much more important than the letter of the law.
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: The Sabbath, after all, was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Besides, there are always going to be exceptions and no amount of rule writing is going to cover all the possibilities.
[2009/03/09 9:24] ***EB***: hmm
[2009/03/09 9:24] Pirate Russell: 4. Communicate those rules. It's obvious that we need to communicate rules to slaves so that they obey them. The same goes for rules for ourselves.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Of course, punnishing for not following unkown rules is a fun scene... he he
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Over time, I tell my applicants my rules and explain why I have them. I won't, for instance, let a subissive write and talk endlessly.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: He has got to show up at my doorstep within 6-8 weeks of our initial meeting. Why? Because I'm not into cybersex.
[2009/03/09 9:25] Pirate Russell: Are there exceptions? Sure. The date can be extended for lots of reasons, but the communication will be curtailed until the plane ticket is bought. It's simply a matter that if you're not ready, then please don't act like you are.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: Communicating your rules has some nice benefits.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: It shows you are in control, that you have an understanding of what you want and don't want, and that you've thought about being a Master.
[2009/03/09 9:26] Pirate Russell: It also gives the submissive a sense of security to know that you have rules too, such as "I will not have un-safe sex." Now he knows he doesn't have to worry about one thing anyway.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: 5. Remember man, that thou art dust; or get real. These Doms who think the world revolves around them need to think again.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: Humility is a still a virtue, even in a person who wields great power. Being in control doesn't that mean that a person needs to be haughty, egotistical, or obnoxious.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: If you are truly a person born to rule, then you have no need to put on airs. Pretense smells. Honesty, sincerity, and generosity have quite a different odor about them.
[2009/03/09 9:27] Pirate Russell: There's also a side of this rule that involves practicality. Your rules need to be pragmatic, workable, reasonable, measurable, and enforceable.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: If they aren't, they will be honored only in the breaking and you will be seen as living in a fantasy world. It's one thing, of course, to have a rule for a weekend scene, quite another to have a rule for living out the rest of your life.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: 6. Stay above it. Just because the world is going to hell in a hand basket is no reason for you to do the same. Have high standards and stick to them.
[2009/03/09 9:28] Pirate Russell: 7. Set benchmarks and progress points. A person becomes a doctor through a long and arduous series of learning experiences and tests that prove the experiences have had their desired effect.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: Each passing grade through high school, college, and med school contributes to the eventual M.D. Each evaluation, and not any single one, grants a person his or her license to practice medicine.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: It is no different for plumbers, electricians, or anyone else who wishes to acquire skill and standing.
[2009/03/09 9:29] Pirate Russell: As you evaluate prospective slaves, recognize that this is a process and note their success or failure at each step of the way.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Too often we want to jump to a full-blown contract while what are required are small steps and a gradual process.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Heat milk quickly and it scalds, heat it slowly and it comes out just right.
[2009/03/09 9:30] Pirate Russell: Running evaluations are helpful to everyone. Rules, after all, are meant to be helpful, indicative of reality.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: 8. Don't talk it all to death. submissives, if you want no more than phone and cyber sex, then keep talking. If you want real leather, you have to get physical.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: We are, after all, trying to develop real relationships. If I'm never going to meet you, I'm never going to be your master. You can pretend all you want on the phone.
[2009/03/09 9:31] Pirate Russell: It might even get you off. But one of my rules is that until you've shaken hands, you haven't met. Until I can look at you eye to eye, eat a meal with you, and hear your voice without the benefit of wires or radio waves, it's just a prelude and nothing mo
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: 9. Take responsibility. First and foremost you, top or bottom, are responsible for the consequences of your actions. Recognize that fact. Act responsibly. You are the one, after all, who wants to be in control.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: 10. When a person says one thing and does another, I always listen to what they do. That advice has stood me in good stead. I hope it does the same for you.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: I'd like to wind up today's talk with the Seven Pillars of Dominance:
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.
[2009/03/09 9:34] Pirate Russell: In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige. The Dictionnaire de l’Académie française defines it thus:
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: Whoever claims to be noble must conduct himself nobly
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: If a Dominant is the centre of a submissive's universe, it is because she thinks so, not because he does.
[2009/03/09 9:35] ***EB*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: THAT is the secret of BDSM
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just because. The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/09 9:35] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Tuesday & Thursday 12:30a.
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: THAT is wrong... he he
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell:
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: [ you have reached the end of the current notecard - resetting to first line... ]
[2009/03/09 9:36] Pirate Russell: Questions??? Comments???
[2009/03/09 9:36] ***TF*** shakes her head smiling
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***EB***: none here
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***TF***: Thank you Miss Pirate
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***EB***: thanks Pirate
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***HM***: is thinking perhaps thers more work as the owner.
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: This is promising to be a short class
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***CS***: thanks Pirate...
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: Yes, there is, depending on the submissive, some are "High Maint.
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: "
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***IM*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***AM***: Thank you Pirate.
[2009/03/09 9:37] ***HM***: although... on the other hand.... not sure i think of it as 'work' necessarily
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: The ones that want you to select their clothing
[2009/03/09 9:37] Pirate Russell: etc.
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: oh i enjoy that
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***AM***: I would hope not, Master.
[2009/03/09 9:38] Pirate Russell: ***IM***here makes My life WAY easier, even when she's not about
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***TF*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***IM*** beams
[2009/03/09 9:38] Pirate Russell: I selected ***IM***'s outfit, today, too, I just hope nobody clicks the knot on her shoulder
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***EB***: oh yeah
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***EB***: lol
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: franticaly looks for the knot
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***HM***: lol
[2009/03/09 9:38] ***IM*** groans
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***IM***: Hi Sir ***PM***
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***TF*** whispers "the single knot at top holding her camisk up"
[2009/03/09 9:39] ***PM***: Hello ***IM***
[2009/03/09 9:40] Pirate Russell: Hi ***PM***, just into the discussion part of Dominant Responsibilities
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***TF*** giggles "this ***TF*** should go before she gets into trouble, thank you again Miss Pirate and ***IM***
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***PM***: Excellent, thank you.
[2009/03/09 9:40] ***IM***: Bye ***TF***. Thanks for coming.
[2009/03/09 9:41] ***TF*** smiles
[2009/03/09 9:41] ***TF***: Miss is there a tip jar?
[2009/03/09 9:42] Pirate Russell: Yes, any donation kiosk for Project Children at West of Ireland
[2009/03/09 9:42] ***IM*** smiles. Thank You Mistress.
[2009/03/09 9:42] ***TF*** giggles
[2009/03/09 9:43] Pirate Russell: Any other questions, comments or girls that want to strip?
[2009/03/09 9:43] ***CT***: heh heh
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: Going once......
[2009/03/09 9:44] ***CT***: BTW MIss Pirate, best speakers outfit Ive even seen.
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: .................. twice..................
[2009/03/09 9:44] ***HM***: colleen said she would
[2009/03/09 9:44] Pirate Russell: he he, thanks
[2009/03/09 9:45] Pirate Russell: ............................. Class dismissed.. I think Friday I'm gonna have a naked class day for EVERYONE! he he
The Gift of submission - 3/6/09
[2009/03/06 9:13] Pirate Russell: Ok, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc.
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: What Is Submission?
[2009/03/06 9:14] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Detached.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1997
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: Submission: (by definition) the act of granting power to another
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: A rather frightening prospect for most people. To give control of yourself to someone else. The act of submitting is part of the power exchange inherent within a D/s relationship.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: It is the giving of yourself to another within preset limits, arranged before hand.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: It is an informed choice and therefor consensual. A person shouldn't just decide to submit to the first dominant they meet.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: A submissive should take the time to get to know the dominant outside the roles of dominant and submissive, as the person he/she is.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: With the information gathered during that initial learning of each other process, the submissive can then make an informed decision of whether or not to submit to that dominant.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: Each submissive must decide for themselves how far they are willing to go and still stay within the guidelines of safe sane and consensual, thereby not crossing into the realm of abuse.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: The three tenets of D/s must always apply for the submission to be true submission and not abuse.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: Why a person is submissive varies extensively from person to person. Some are submissive just for a little extra zing in their intimate lives. Others may have a deep psychological need that prevents them from being any other way.
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: There are three main types of submissives There are more concise groupings than these three broad ones, as evidenced by the 9 levels of submission that are widely used and referred to in many books and discussions of D/s.
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: ~A: Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification. Once their sexual needs are met they are satisfied. They feel no real need to submit any personal control to another.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: ~B: Psychological Submissive
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: This broad category tends to include those who are in it for the pain and humiliation a D/s relationship can give them.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: This category tends to include most masochists. Those who have suffered real abuse and are stuck in victim mode, tend to end up in this category.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: ~C: Natural Submissive (AKA True Submissive)
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: she/he is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Who's to say which category is best?
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Being submissive is unique and you are an individual. Being submissive comes from the heart. It can not be believably faked, acted or role played.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: True submission is a gift of high value. It is my opinion that those in the lifestyle should not judge any one else within the lifestyle for their choices.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Who are we to say that a sexual sub is not submissive on a different level? Or that there can only be one type of submissive? Remember, life is full of small variances and innuendoes, so is D/s.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: I'm going to finish up with the submissive Bill of Rights. Remember that submissives are not doormats they are people, strong enough to give themselves to another person, let someone else tell them, make them, watch them do what they're told!
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: submissive Bill of Rights:
[2009/03/06 9:21] ***DP*** feels the baby start to flutter.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with courtesy.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with respect.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to express feelings, whether good or bad.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to disagree and express disagreement.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to stand up for your beliefs, values and morals.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have a right to retain your self respect and self worth.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to say No.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: aka Abuse
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated as an intelligent, thinking person, entitled to your feelings.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to make mistakes and ask those mistakes to be forgiven.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: Or punished if that's your kink ;-)
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Monday & Thursday 12:30a.
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: That's wrong, Tues and Fri at 9, not 7
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College or Join House of V Friends, or House of V groups, for notices immediately before the classes.
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: Questions, Comments???
[2009/03/06 9:25] ***DP*** raising my hand " I do"
[2009/03/06 9:25] ***KC***: Miss someone once told girl that a subbie is in it for themselves and a slave is in it for the Dom/me. Is that correct
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***KC***: sorry
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***KC*** raises her hand
[2009/03/06 9:26] Pirate Russell: Not sure, ***KC***, there are as many types of "submissives" as there are .... well... submissives, each of y'all are in it for your own satisfaction
[2009/03/06 9:26] Pirate Russell: yes, ***DP***?
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***DP***: How do you discuss what the role you will have without making them mad , and if they cross the line how do you correct it?
[2009/03/06 9:27] Pirate Russell: Before you submit to anyone, there should be a discussion. About your limits, your likes, your schedule, your... etc. And the Dominants likes, dislikes, forms of address, etc,
[2009/03/06 9:28] Pirate Russell: It's almost like dating, how do you know if your compatable if you don't talk first? The other way is a short cut to heartache
[2009/03/06 9:28] ***DB*** nods
[2009/03/06 9:29] Pirate Russell: D/s is a relationship. And EVERY relationship takes...... Anyone?
[2009/03/06 9:29] ***KC***: commuinication
[2009/03/06 9:29] ***KC***: communication even
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***MD*** jokes "money?"
[2009/03/06 9:30] Pirate Russell: That's right, ***KC***, EVERY relationship... Vanilla/bdsm, RL/online, personal or Business, all take communication
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***TK*** Communication, comunication, communication
[2009/03/06 9:30] Pirate Russell: And every relationship is as different ast the people, and farm animals, that are in it!
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell: What I consider a slave, ***KC*** might consider a pet, or Ji consider a subby....
[2009/03/06 9:31] ***DP***: Also can a person be a subbie but also have Dom relationship's?
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell whispers: That all comes out in the talking that MUST take place!
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell: Yes, they're called "Switches" One on My girls has a girl of her own
[2009/03/06 9:32] ***TK***: and patience if just using chat here. no body languege, no voice inflection ask if you don't understand.. dont get cross before you ask and understand
[2009/03/06 9:32] Pirate Russell: Yes, all we have are these lines of plain text
[2009/03/06 9:34] Pirate Russell: After 7 years, I can't read My hubby's mind half the time, and he's right here. ***KC*** is 3000 miles away, I SURE can't read hers!
[2009/03/06 9:35] Pirate Russell: Anyone else?
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***DP***: So is there a standard defination of a slave and a pet?
[2009/03/06 9:35] Pirate Russell: (I even discuss off topic stuff)
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***KC***: would Miss have a good idea of how long onw should wait before being collared
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***KC***: a couple of week or a couple of months
[2009/03/06 9:36] Pirate Russell usually does at least 2 weeks of a "no harm no foul" trial. If things work out after that, a collar is offered.
[2009/03/06 9:36] ***KC***: thank You Miss
[2009/03/06 9:37] Pirate Russell: That hhas served me well, I have 5 active girls, all over a year, one about 3 in various avitars
[2009/03/06 9:37] Pirate Russell: Sorry, that made little sense
[2009/03/06 9:38] Pirate Russell: all over a year in My service, with one over 3yrs....
[2009/03/06 9:38] ***KC*** smiles knowingly
[2009/03/06 9:39] ***TK*** is impressed
[2009/03/06 9:39] Pirate Russell: For those that don't know, I owned ***KC*** for a time, until she found the right Mistress
[2009/03/06 9:39] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:41] Pirate Russell: Anyone... Anything else??
[2009/03/06 9:42] ***DP***: Raises my hand again..
[2009/03/06 9:42] Pirate Russell: Yes ***DP***
[2009/03/06 9:42] ***DP***: How is a pet defferent than a slave?
[2009/03/06 9:43] Pirate Russell: That depends on the usage of words, some, use them interchangibly, My girls shift rolls all the time, keeps from getting bored
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: And i've had some LONG arguments about sub/slave/pet.
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: I consider My girls all 3
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: They're submissive, and have offered themselves to Me, so they're subs
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: I LOVE taking care of them, so they're pets.
[2009/03/06 9:44] ***KC*** giggles
[2009/03/06 9:45] ***DP***: So as a pet you'd expect more tenderness?
[2009/03/06 9:45] Pirate Russell: 4 of My core 5 consider themselves slaves, as in no choice, when told to do something, but I dont' treat them that way all the time
[2009/03/06 9:45] Pirate Russell: It's really what you and the other party(ies) decide it means to y'all
[2009/03/06 9:46] Pirate Russell: One of My girls flat refuses to be "slave", and I've made consessions
[2009/03/06 9:48] ***DP***: So pets enjoy more freedoms it seems
[2009/03/06 9:49] Pirate Russell: Maybe gentler care... I give My girls LOTS of freedoms, one's engaged, one has a girlfriend, another has a girl of her own.....
[2009/03/06 9:50] Pirate Russell: And they almost all identify as "slave"
[2009/03/06 9:50] ***KC*** nods
[2009/03/06 9:50] Pirate Russell: One has a club of her own, one runs a mall
[2009/03/06 9:51] ***KC***: girl identifies as all three to Mistress
[2009/03/06 9:52] Pirate Russell: Yeah, but look who trained girl.... he he
[2009/03/06 9:52] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:53] ***KC***: thank You Miss
[2009/03/06 9:53] Pirate Russell beams
[2009/03/06 9:53] Pirate Russell: Well, I think that's gonna do it for today, unless there's any more questions
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: Going once.......
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: ............. going twice..........
[2009/03/06 9:54] ***DP***: I think I'm done
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: ..................................Class Dismissed
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: Well thanks for coming, any inclined to tip please go to West of Ireland and donate to Project Children
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/06 9:14] Pirate Russell: What Is Submission?
[2009/03/06 9:14] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Detached.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1997
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: Submission: (by definition) the act of granting power to another
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: A rather frightening prospect for most people. To give control of yourself to someone else. The act of submitting is part of the power exchange inherent within a D/s relationship.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: It is the giving of yourself to another within preset limits, arranged before hand.
[2009/03/06 9:15] Pirate Russell: It is an informed choice and therefor consensual. A person shouldn't just decide to submit to the first dominant they meet.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: A submissive should take the time to get to know the dominant outside the roles of dominant and submissive, as the person he/she is.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: With the information gathered during that initial learning of each other process, the submissive can then make an informed decision of whether or not to submit to that dominant.
[2009/03/06 9:16] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: Each submissive must decide for themselves how far they are willing to go and still stay within the guidelines of safe sane and consensual, thereby not crossing into the realm of abuse.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: The three tenets of D/s must always apply for the submission to be true submission and not abuse.
[2009/03/06 9:17] Pirate Russell: Why a person is submissive varies extensively from person to person. Some are submissive just for a little extra zing in their intimate lives. Others may have a deep psychological need that prevents them from being any other way.
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: There are three main types of submissives There are more concise groupings than these three broad ones, as evidenced by the 9 levels of submission that are widely used and referred to in many books and discussions of D/s.
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: ~A: Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
[2009/03/06 9:18] Pirate Russell: A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification. Once their sexual needs are met they are satisfied. They feel no real need to submit any personal control to another.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: ~B: Psychological Submissive
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: This broad category tends to include those who are in it for the pain and humiliation a D/s relationship can give them.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: This category tends to include most masochists. Those who have suffered real abuse and are stuck in victim mode, tend to end up in this category.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: ~C: Natural Submissive (AKA True Submissive)
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: she/he is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification.
[2009/03/06 9:19] Pirate Russell: It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Who's to say which category is best?
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Being submissive is unique and you are an individual. Being submissive comes from the heart. It can not be believably faked, acted or role played.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: True submission is a gift of high value. It is my opinion that those in the lifestyle should not judge any one else within the lifestyle for their choices.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: Who are we to say that a sexual sub is not submissive on a different level? Or that there can only be one type of submissive? Remember, life is full of small variances and innuendoes, so is D/s.
[2009/03/06 9:20] Pirate Russell: I'm going to finish up with the submissive Bill of Rights. Remember that submissives are not doormats they are people, strong enough to give themselves to another person, let someone else tell them, make them, watch them do what they're told!
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: submissive Bill of Rights:
[2009/03/06 9:21] ***DP*** feels the baby start to flutter.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with courtesy.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with respect.
[2009/03/06 9:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to express feelings, whether good or bad.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to disagree and express disagreement.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to stand up for your beliefs, values and morals.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have a right to retain your self respect and self worth.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to say No.
[2009/03/06 9:22] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: aka Abuse
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated as an intelligent, thinking person, entitled to your feelings.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to make mistakes and ask those mistakes to be forgiven.
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: Or punished if that's your kink ;-)
[2009/03/06 9:23] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Monday & Thursday 12:30a.
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: That's wrong, Tues and Fri at 9, not 7
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College or Join House of V Friends, or House of V groups, for notices immediately before the classes.
[2009/03/06 9:24] Pirate Russell: Questions, Comments???
[2009/03/06 9:25] ***DP*** raising my hand " I do"
[2009/03/06 9:25] ***KC***: Miss someone once told girl that a subbie is in it for themselves and a slave is in it for the Dom/me. Is that correct
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***KC***: sorry
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***KC*** raises her hand
[2009/03/06 9:26] Pirate Russell: Not sure, ***KC***, there are as many types of "submissives" as there are .... well... submissives, each of y'all are in it for your own satisfaction
[2009/03/06 9:26] Pirate Russell: yes, ***DP***?
[2009/03/06 9:26] ***DP***: How do you discuss what the role you will have without making them mad , and if they cross the line how do you correct it?
[2009/03/06 9:27] Pirate Russell: Before you submit to anyone, there should be a discussion. About your limits, your likes, your schedule, your... etc. And the Dominants likes, dislikes, forms of address, etc,
[2009/03/06 9:28] Pirate Russell: It's almost like dating, how do you know if your compatable if you don't talk first? The other way is a short cut to heartache
[2009/03/06 9:28] ***DB*** nods
[2009/03/06 9:29] Pirate Russell: D/s is a relationship. And EVERY relationship takes...... Anyone?
[2009/03/06 9:29] ***KC***: commuinication
[2009/03/06 9:29] ***KC***: communication even
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***MD*** jokes "money?"
[2009/03/06 9:30] Pirate Russell: That's right, ***KC***, EVERY relationship... Vanilla/bdsm, RL/online, personal or Business, all take communication
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:30] ***TK*** Communication, comunication, communication
[2009/03/06 9:30] Pirate Russell: And every relationship is as different ast the people, and farm animals, that are in it!
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell: What I consider a slave, ***KC*** might consider a pet, or Ji consider a subby....
[2009/03/06 9:31] ***DP***: Also can a person be a subbie but also have Dom relationship's?
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell whispers: That all comes out in the talking that MUST take place!
[2009/03/06 9:31] Pirate Russell: Yes, they're called "Switches" One on My girls has a girl of her own
[2009/03/06 9:32] ***TK***: and patience if just using chat here. no body languege, no voice inflection ask if you don't understand.. dont get cross before you ask and understand
[2009/03/06 9:32] Pirate Russell: Yes, all we have are these lines of plain text
[2009/03/06 9:34] Pirate Russell: After 7 years, I can't read My hubby's mind half the time, and he's right here. ***KC*** is 3000 miles away, I SURE can't read hers!
[2009/03/06 9:35] Pirate Russell: Anyone else?
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***DP***: So is there a standard defination of a slave and a pet?
[2009/03/06 9:35] Pirate Russell: (I even discuss off topic stuff)
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***KC***: would Miss have a good idea of how long onw should wait before being collared
[2009/03/06 9:35] ***KC***: a couple of week or a couple of months
[2009/03/06 9:36] Pirate Russell usually does at least 2 weeks of a "no harm no foul" trial. If things work out after that, a collar is offered.
[2009/03/06 9:36] ***KC***: thank You Miss
[2009/03/06 9:37] Pirate Russell: That hhas served me well, I have 5 active girls, all over a year, one about 3 in various avitars
[2009/03/06 9:37] Pirate Russell: Sorry, that made little sense
[2009/03/06 9:38] Pirate Russell: all over a year in My service, with one over 3yrs....
[2009/03/06 9:38] ***KC*** smiles knowingly
[2009/03/06 9:39] ***TK*** is impressed
[2009/03/06 9:39] Pirate Russell: For those that don't know, I owned ***KC*** for a time, until she found the right Mistress
[2009/03/06 9:39] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:41] Pirate Russell: Anyone... Anything else??
[2009/03/06 9:42] ***DP***: Raises my hand again..
[2009/03/06 9:42] Pirate Russell: Yes ***DP***
[2009/03/06 9:42] ***DP***: How is a pet defferent than a slave?
[2009/03/06 9:43] Pirate Russell: That depends on the usage of words, some, use them interchangibly, My girls shift rolls all the time, keeps from getting bored
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: And i've had some LONG arguments about sub/slave/pet.
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: I consider My girls all 3
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: They're submissive, and have offered themselves to Me, so they're subs
[2009/03/06 9:44] Pirate Russell: I LOVE taking care of them
[2009/03/06 9:44] ***KC*** giggles
[2009/03/06 9:45] ***DP***: So as a pet you'd expect more tenderness?
[2009/03/06 9:45] Pirate Russell: 4 of My core 5 consider themselves slaves, as in no choice, when told to do something, but I dont' treat them that way all the time
[2009/03/06 9:45] Pirate Russell: It's really what you and the other party(ies) decide it means to y'all
[2009/03/06 9:46] Pirate Russell: One of My girls flat refuses to be "slave", and I've made consessions
[2009/03/06 9:48] ***DP***: So pets enjoy more freedoms it seems
[2009/03/06 9:49] Pirate Russell: Maybe gentler care... I give My girls LOTS of freedoms, one's engaged, one has a girlfriend, another has a girl of her own.....
[2009/03/06 9:50] Pirate Russell: And they almost all identify as "slave"
[2009/03/06 9:50] ***KC*** nods
[2009/03/06 9:50] Pirate Russell: One has a club of her own, one runs a mall
[2009/03/06 9:51] ***KC***: girl identifies as all three to Mistress
[2009/03/06 9:52] Pirate Russell: Yeah, but look who trained girl.... he he
[2009/03/06 9:52] ***KC*** smiles
[2009/03/06 9:53] ***KC***: thank You Miss
[2009/03/06 9:53] Pirate Russell beams
[2009/03/06 9:53] Pirate Russell: Well, I think that's gonna do it for today, unless there's any more questions
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: Going once.......
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: ............. going twice..........
[2009/03/06 9:54] ***DP***: I think I'm done
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: ..................................Class Dismissed
[2009/03/06 9:54] Pirate Russell: Well thanks for coming, any inclined to tip please go to West of Ireland and donate to Project Children
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Gift of submission - 3/3/09
[09:09] Pirate Russell: Ok, everyone grab a seat (OTHER than Mine), and we'rll get started
[09:10] Pirate Russell:
[09:10] Pirate Russell: Ok, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc.
[09:10] Minakothegothicgeisha Kamachi is Online
[09:11] Pirate Russell sighs, hang on a second, this thing didn't work last week, either.....
[09:11] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[09:11] Pirate Russell: There it goes.. he he
[09:11] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[09:12] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[09:12] Pirate Russell: And for a change, they're caught up!
[09:12] Pirate Russell: What Is Submission?
[09:12] Pirate Russell: Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1997
[09:12] Pirate Russell: Submission: (by definition) the act of granting power to another
[09:13] Pirate Russell: A rather frightening prospect for most people. To give control of yourself to someone else. The act of submitting is part of the power exchange inherent within a D/s relationship.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: It is the giving of yourself to another within preset limits, arranged before hand.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: It is an informed choice and therefor consensual. A person shouldn't just decide to submit to the first dominant they meet.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: A submissive should take the time to get to know the dominant outside the roles of dominant and submissive, as the person he/she is.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: With the information gathered during that initial learning of each other process, the submissive can then make an informed decision of whether or not to submit to that dominant.
[09:14] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Suden Sodwind (19m)
[09:14] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: Each submissive must decide for themselves how far they are willing to go and still stay within the guidelines of safe sane and consensual, thereby not crossing into the realm of abuse.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: The three tenets of D/s must always apply for the submission to be true submission and not abuse.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: Why a person is submissive varies extensively from person to person. Some are submissive just for a little extra zing in their intimate lives. Others may have a deep psychological need that prevents them from being any other way.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: There are three main types of submissives There are more concise groupings than these three broad ones, as evidenced by the 9 levels of submission that are widely used and referred to in many books and discussions of D/s.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: ~A: Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
[09:16] Pirate Russell: A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification. Once their sexual needs are met they are satisfied. They feel no real need to submit any personal control to another.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: ~B: Psychological Submissive
[09:16] Starr Coledale is Online
[09:16] Pirate Russell: This broad category tends to include those who are in it for the pain and humiliation a D/s relationship can give them.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: This category tends to include most masochists. Those who have suffered real abuse and are stuck in victim mode, tend to end up in this category.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: ~C: Natural Submissive (AKA True Submissive)
[09:17] Pirate Russell: she/he is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification.
[09:17] Pirate Russell: It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.
[09:17] Pirate Russell: Who's to say which category is best?
[09:17] Pirate Russell: Being submissive is unique and you are an individual. Being submissive comes from the heart. It can not be believably faked, acted or role played.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: True submission is a gift of high value. It is my opinion that those in the lifestyle should not judge any one else within the lifestyle for their choices.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: Who are we to say that a sexual sub is not submissive on a different level? Or that there can only be one type of submissive? Remember, life is full of small variances and innuendoes, so is D/s.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: I'm going to finish up with the submissive Bill of Rights. Remember that submissives are not doormats they are people, strong enough to give themselves to another person, let someone else tell them, make them, watch them do what they're told!
[09:19] Pirate Russell: submissive Bill of Rights:
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with courtesy.
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with respect.
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to express feelings, whether good or bad.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to disagree and express disagreement.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to stand up for your beliefs, values and morals.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have a right to retain your self respect and self worth.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to say No.
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated as an intelligent, thinking person, entitled to your feelings.
[09:21] Minakothegothicgeisha Kamachi is Offline
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to make mistakes and ask those mistakes to be forgiven.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[09:22] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Monday & Thursday 12:30a.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College or Join House of V Friends, or House of V groups, for notices immediately before the classes.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Actually the class times have changed
[09:22] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: [Naomi Gustafson - Ch.1]: ngrelease
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Tues/Fri 7am lcasses are at 9... he he
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Questions, Comments???
[09:22] Pirate Russell: SpeakEasy HUD detaching...
[09:24] Pirate Russell: No questions?? No comments??
[09:24] Tristan Mohindi: I have a general question to pose, that may be somewhat off topic but something you said made me think about it.
[09:24] Naomi Gustafson: Thank you Ms Russell.
[09:24] Pirate Russell: Go right ahead, Tristan!
[09:24] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: [Naomi Gustafson - Ch.1]: ao on
[09:24] Pirate Russell: We rarely stay on topic
[09:24] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Brenna Lynagh (17m)
[09:25] Tristan Mohindi: I live my life in the world of D/s by what I see as being the tennant of SSC....while safety and consensuality are pretty objective, isn't there some degree of subjectivism to the "sane" component?
[09:25] Tristan Mohindi: and is there a general accepted definition of sane in this contrext?
[09:25] Chakota Hutchence chuckles
[09:26] Pirate Russell: Let's see, actually I think it is subjective...
[09:26] Maya Owatatsumi is Offline
[09:26] Tristan Mohindi: As I see the sane part falls under the ruebrick of consensuality
[09:26] Pirate Russell: Just like when to use a safe word....
[09:26] Pirate Russell: My safe word would be "Ow!"
[09:26] Chakota Hutchence: .....try the sanity of the "act"...not the person
[09:27] Pirate Russell: where kle might LOVE her ass beat 'till it bleeds
[09:27] Tristan Mohindi: well yes exactly
[09:27] Kle Edman: :)
[09:27] Pirate Russell: Each D/s relationship is just that a RELATIONSHIP
[09:27] Brenna Lynagh is Offline
[09:27] Pirate Russell: It's as different as the people, and farm animals that are in it
[09:28] Tristan Mohindi: point in progress.
[09:28] Pirate Russell: But each relationship takes COMMUNICATION
[09:28] Tristan Mohindi: agreed whole heartedly
[09:29] Pirate Russell: And in a Power Exchange relationship it takes that up-fron negotiation. How do I know what Scouse likes, if I dont' talk to her, even if it's a 'one dungeon stand'
[09:29] Pirate Russell: or what she won't do?
[09:30] Tristan Mohindi nods
[09:30] Pirate Russell: Heck, I could end up trying to beat a Dominant, if I didn't chat first....
[09:30] Tristan Mohindi: Unfortuantely there are "dominants" out there who seem to forget the "Exchange" part of TPE and take a my way or the high way mentality, foregoing real communication
[09:31] Pirate Russell: Those "dominants", sorry fellas, but they're USUALLY males, who thing a subby is just a whipping post and a screw-toy
[09:31] Tristan Mohindi: the doormat
[09:31] Pirate Russell: They use BDSM as an easy piece of tail
[09:31] Cynthia Ohara is Online
[09:32] Kle Edman nods
[09:32] Chakota Hutchence: and those males are not likely dominants
[09:32] Tristan Mohindi: hence the " "
[09:32] Pirate Russell: Yes, but as W/we saw in the Bill of Righs... subbies have the RIGHT to not be a doormat
[09:33] Pirate Russell: I have no problem with hearin, "Ma'am, I'm a submissive, but not Your submissive"
[09:33] Tristan Mohindi: right
[09:33] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is online
[09:33] Tristan Mohindi: being a submissive does not by default entail being public domain
[09:33] Pirate Russell: And this abusive dom/doormat subbie is why I took this job last July!
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi smiles
[09:34] Pirate Russell: Exactly Tristan, but... if that's your kink..... rock on! Nothing wrong with it if that's what gets ya off!
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi: no not my kink...just for clarification
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi: that is why I chose this meeting as the first to attend
[09:35] Gina Roth is Online
[09:35] Pirate Russell: He heI have agirl that loves to be the lowest of the low, so I forbid her from even OWNING any clothing
[09:35] Tristan Mohindi: the gift of submission is something to be cherrished and not spread around like raspberry preserves
[09:35] Pirate Russell: Boy, do I envy her inventory!
[09:35] Tristan Mohindi: easy to manage I bet
[09:35] Pirate Russell: he he, yep
[09:36] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Huntur Moore (19m)
[09:36] Pirate Russell: And, btw, Tristan, next week is "Responsibilities of Dominance" he he
[09:36] Pirate Russell: Welcome hunter
[09:36] Tristan Mohindi: another great topic
[09:36] Pirate Russell: er Hunter
[09:37] Huntur Moore: or Hun... too. hehe. hello
[09:37] Pirate Russell: Ok, Hi Hun... too!
[09:37] Pirate Russell: LOL, sorry, coldn't resist
[09:37] Huntur Moore: :)
[09:38] Pirate Russell: Anyway, we're in the Q & A part of the "The Gift Of submission"
[09:38] Pirate Russell: But W/we're straying far afield... he he
[09:39] Pirate Russell: So... any more questions, comments, girls that wanna strip?
[09:39] Huntur Moore: lol
[09:40] Kle Edman: Miss, you mentioned the 3 types of submissives, but within those types there are variations in intensity
[09:41] Pirate Russell: Absolutely, goes back to My safe word, "ow" and someone else who, in SL anyway, doesn't have or use them
[09:42] Kle Edman: a natural sub could be just mildly into it for instance
[09:42] Jada Taurog is Online
[09:42] Pirate Russell: It actually goes to what makes EACH of us happy
[09:43] Kle Edman: I guess my question is - can that level be changed by the dom/domme?
[09:43] Kle Edman: or is it a fixed part of a sub's personality?
[09:43] Pirate Russell: Yes, that's true, kle... well maybe nto the natural sub, that's the one that is the 'true submissive'. Into it for the actual submission, not for sex, or for the feeling of bondage, etc
[09:43] Pirate Russell: Well, yes and no
[09:44] Pirate Russell: A bad Dominant can sure make you wanna be a frog somewhere.... and a Goooooood Dominant will engender trust, and posibly take you a little further than you planned.... pushing the envelope, so to speak
[09:45] Huntur Moore: communication and trust. sounds like good foundations to a good D/s relationship.
[09:46] Pirate Russell: Actually, Hunter, it's true of ANY relationship, BDSM or Vanilla, Personal or Business
[09:46] Tristan Mohindi nods
[09:46] Huntur Moore: *Nods in agreement*
[09:47] Huntur Moore: however... i do conduct business with some shady characters. lol
[09:47] Muffin Margulies: honesty is another bit of a good foundation
[09:47] Pirate Russell: how do you know how much a tires is without communicaiton....
[09:47] Pirate Russell: How do you know what kle wants in a Scene, if there's no communicaitno?
[09:47] Pirate Russell: or communication... he he
[09:47] Huntur Moore: phew... i thought she was going spanish on us
[09:48] Heather Steinbeck is Online
[09:48] Pirate Russell: No, Italian, maybe, but not spanish
[09:49] Pirate Russell: communicazione!
[09:49] Huntur Moore: hehe
[09:50] Huntur Moore: its a highly negotiated affair... the D/s relationship. is it not
[09:50] Pirate Russell: If done right, yes. I did touch on this earlier, but it's so important, I'll do it again
[09:51] Pirate Russell: If I meet up with some sub, in a dungeon, randomly....
[09:51] Huntur Moore: sry. those dam stragglers.. always walking in late.. making everyone repeat things. :D
[09:51] Pirate Russell: if we dont' talk for at least a couple min, I don't know her likes.... her limits
[09:53] Huntur Moore: you know what confuses me. its a complicated exchange... any relationship is... my confusion is how some D's can juggle like 3 or 4 subs under 1 roof. seems like controlled chaos to me.
[09:53] Pirate Russell whispers: EEP, sorryto the male subbies here.... ".... their limits"
[09:53] Pirate Russell does that, actually, I have 3 core subbies and a few that show up occaisonally (logging on to SL) and some subbie friends that I like to play with
[09:54] Jessi Escape is Online
[09:54] Huntur Moore: but all in 1 room at once? or individually at separate times
[09:54] Pirate Russell: And 2 of 3 of them, are pretty.... forgiving in the 'share dept'.
[09:54] Pirate Russell: Yes, Hunter
[09:55] Pirate Russell: Sometimes together, sometimes individually, sometimea a mix of friends and Mine....
[09:55] Pirate Russell: Sometime with Vanilla or other Dommes
[09:55] Kle Edman: that sounds like quite a party Miss :)
[09:56] Huntur Moore: then what am i missing. i seem to get involved with highly jealous subs
[09:56] Pirate Russell: It usualy is, red, it usually is!
[09:56] Huntur Moore: then #2 shows up, its difficult
[09:56] Pirate Russell: Well, My final rule when I talk about collaring a girl is:
[09:56] Pirate Russell: Rule 7) Enjoy being SEXUALLY MOLESTED by Me, knowing that the girl is not My only pet, friend or play-thing, and that she may be shared with her sisters, and My friends!
[09:56] amycrystalee Trenchmouth is Online
[09:57] Pirate Russell: Now, I have had girls that thought they were My one and only, or thought they could work inot that position
[09:57] Huntur Moore: *listens closely*
[09:57] Pirate Russell: I have a one and only in RL
[09:58] Pirate Russell: Dont' want that in SL
[09:58] Pirate Russell: So if they can't handle that, then the door's right over there
[09:58] Huntur Moore: so laying down the rule... how its gonna be.. early on is key
[09:59] Pirate Russell: Has been for Me, started out with 5 Rules, that's the last one I had to add, and that was about 2 yrs ago
[10:00] Huntur Moore: what are your first 6? if I may
[10:00] Pirate Russell:
[10:00] Huntur Moore: :)
[10:00] Pirate Russell: Pirate's Rules Of Conduct
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1 is RL comes first, no matter what, this rule is My one ABSOLUTE, and I've needed to break it up into 2 parts
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1a) This is a "game". If you have Real Life issues they come first! If girl must leave My presence, simply say "Rule 1" and handle life, whether it be AFK, or logging.
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1b) Since this is a "game", if you're not having fun, tell Me, we'll do something else, or we'll play separately for a while, or for good. But please TELL ME!
[10:01] Huntur Moore: oh no! RL associates should understand that toons come first!! say its not so. *snickers*
[10:01] Top Friends v1.12: amy Trenchmouth (Friends) is online
[10:01] Pirate Russell: next are standard...
[10:01] Huntur Moore: 1b = awesome sub rule
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 2) I am always right!
Rule 3) If girl perceves Me to be wrong, see Rule 2. Standard stuff, but if I'm making a total ass of Myself..... Tell Me in IM, I am pretty proficient at making an ass of Myrself!
[10:01] Top Friends v1.12: amy Trenchmouth (Friends) is online
[10:02] Pirate Russell: Rule 4) When I'm in game, you will be available to Me, unconditionally. This does not mean you will be at My feet 24 X 7, but if I want you, you WILL come! I do make allowances for SL work, being with friends, subs, etc.
[10:02] Pirate Russell: ((another one that communication is VITAL in))
[10:02] Pirate Russell: Rule 5) When you're in game, and I'm not, conduct yourself in a way that would make Me proud of you. girl will wear the collar at ALL times, have a mention about Me in girl's profile, at the begining of the 2nd Life page, and allow Me to track girl on the map.
[10:02] Anners Sommer is Online
[10:03] Pirate Russell: Rule 6) thou shalt have no other dommes, or doms, before Me. After all, I AM The Preeminent Polyamorous Lesbian Alpha Bitch Domme of SL. ™ This means that I dont' mind girl's playing but as stated in Rule 4, you will be available to Me.
[10:03] Huntur Moore: /claps
[10:03] Maya Owatatsumi is Online
[10:03] Pirate Russell: And then you saw
[10:03] Pirate Russell: 7
[10:04] Huntur Moore: tyvm for sharing that
[10:04] Tristan Mohindi laughs
[10:04] Tristan Mohindi: That is a great title
[10:05] Pirate Russell: Worked on it for 2 yrs! He he
[10:05] Pirate Russell: Well, our Hour is about up, any last questions?
[10:05] Huntur Moore: yes
[10:05] Huntur Moore: is there a tip jar?
[10:05] Huntur Moore: :)
[10:06] Pirate Russell: Sort of...
[10:06] Cynthia Ohara is Offline
[10:06] Huntur Moore: insert bills into your panties right?
[10:06] Pirate Russell: PLEASE if any are inclned to tip, go to West of Ireland, and donate to Project Children
[10:06] Pirate Russell: Ummmm..... that would be tough!
[10:06] Pirate Russell doesn't wear panties
[10:07] Huntur Moore: yup.. dam tough. almost as tough as going to Ireland
[10:07] Pirate Russell: See!
[10:07] Huntur Moore: *whistles*
[10:08] Huntur Moore: all this knowledge and a show too! you guys are the best
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Pirate Russell: Class Dismissed!
[10:08] Tristan Mohindi: Thank you Miss Russell
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Huntur Moore: *takes a bow* yes, tyvm Miss
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Pirate Russell: Thans to y'all for making it interesting.... I learn stuff EVERY class
[09:10] Pirate Russell:
[09:10] Pirate Russell: Ok, those that will, please turn off any radars, MystiTools, etc.
[09:10] Minakothegothicgeisha Kamachi is Online
[09:11] Pirate Russell sighs, hang on a second, this thing didn't work last week, either.....
[09:11] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[09:11] Pirate Russell: There it goes.. he he
[09:11] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[09:12] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[09:12] Pirate Russell: And for a change, they're caught up!
[09:12] Pirate Russell: What Is Submission?
[09:12] Pirate Russell: Author: Raven Shadowborne © 1997
[09:12] Pirate Russell: Submission: (by definition) the act of granting power to another
[09:13] Pirate Russell: A rather frightening prospect for most people. To give control of yourself to someone else. The act of submitting is part of the power exchange inherent within a D/s relationship.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: It is the giving of yourself to another within preset limits, arranged before hand.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: It is an informed choice and therefor consensual. A person shouldn't just decide to submit to the first dominant they meet.
[09:13] Pirate Russell: A submissive should take the time to get to know the dominant outside the roles of dominant and submissive, as the person he/she is.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: With the information gathered during that initial learning of each other process, the submissive can then make an informed decision of whether or not to submit to that dominant.
[09:14] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Suden Sodwind (19m)
[09:14] Pirate Russell: This process should include discussions of expectations, wants, needs and desires.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: Each submissive must decide for themselves how far they are willing to go and still stay within the guidelines of safe sane and consensual, thereby not crossing into the realm of abuse.
[09:14] Pirate Russell: The three tenets of D/s must always apply for the submission to be true submission and not abuse.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: Why a person is submissive varies extensively from person to person. Some are submissive just for a little extra zing in their intimate lives. Others may have a deep psychological need that prevents them from being any other way.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: There are three main types of submissives There are more concise groupings than these three broad ones, as evidenced by the 9 levels of submission that are widely used and referred to in many books and discussions of D/s.
[09:15] Pirate Russell: ~A: Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
[09:16] Pirate Russell: A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification. Once their sexual needs are met they are satisfied. They feel no real need to submit any personal control to another.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: ~B: Psychological Submissive
[09:16] Starr Coledale is Online
[09:16] Pirate Russell: This broad category tends to include those who are in it for the pain and humiliation a D/s relationship can give them.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: This category tends to include most masochists. Those who have suffered real abuse and are stuck in victim mode, tend to end up in this category.
[09:16] Pirate Russell: ~C: Natural Submissive (AKA True Submissive)
[09:17] Pirate Russell: she/he is born with a submissive nature. A need to please others. This need and submissive tendency goes beyond sexual gratification.
[09:17] Pirate Russell: It is in their nature to please others, and they will readily give up their control to another with very little or no urging from their dominant.
[09:17] Pirate Russell: Who's to say which category is best?
[09:17] Pirate Russell: Being submissive is unique and you are an individual. Being submissive comes from the heart. It can not be believably faked, acted or role played.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: True submission is a gift of high value. It is my opinion that those in the lifestyle should not judge any one else within the lifestyle for their choices.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: Who are we to say that a sexual sub is not submissive on a different level? Or that there can only be one type of submissive? Remember, life is full of small variances and innuendoes, so is D/s.
[09:18] Pirate Russell: I'm going to finish up with the submissive Bill of Rights. Remember that submissives are not doormats they are people, strong enough to give themselves to another person, let someone else tell them, make them, watch them do what they're told!
[09:19] Pirate Russell: submissive Bill of Rights:
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with courtesy.
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated with respect.
[09:19] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to express feelings, whether good or bad.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to disagree and express disagreement.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to stand up for your beliefs, values and morals.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have a right to retain your self respect and self worth.
[09:20] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to say No.
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to walk away from an unhealthy situation.
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to be treated as an intelligent, thinking person, entitled to your feelings.
[09:21] Minakothegothicgeisha Kamachi is Offline
[09:21] Pirate Russell: ~you have the right to make mistakes and ask those mistakes to be forgiven.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[09:22] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday @ 7a, Monday & Thursday 12:30a.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College or Join House of V Friends, or House of V groups, for notices immediately before the classes.
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Actually the class times have changed
[09:22] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: [Naomi Gustafson - Ch.1]: ngrelease
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Tues/Fri 7am lcasses are at 9... he he
[09:22] Pirate Russell: Questions, Comments???
[09:22] Pirate Russell: SpeakEasy HUD detaching...
[09:24] Pirate Russell: No questions?? No comments??
[09:24] Tristan Mohindi: I have a general question to pose, that may be somewhat off topic but something you said made me think about it.
[09:24] Naomi Gustafson: Thank you Ms Russell.
[09:24] Pirate Russell: Go right ahead, Tristan!
[09:24] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: [Naomi Gustafson - Ch.1]: ao on
[09:24] Pirate Russell: We rarely stay on topic
[09:24] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Brenna Lynagh (17m)
[09:25] Tristan Mohindi: I live my life in the world of D/s by what I see as being the tennant of SSC....while safety and consensuality are pretty objective, isn't there some degree of subjectivism to the "sane" component?
[09:25] Tristan Mohindi: and is there a general accepted definition of sane in this contrext?
[09:25] Chakota Hutchence chuckles
[09:26] Pirate Russell: Let's see, actually I think it is subjective...
[09:26] Maya Owatatsumi is Offline
[09:26] Tristan Mohindi: As I see the sane part falls under the ruebrick of consensuality
[09:26] Pirate Russell: Just like when to use a safe word....
[09:26] Pirate Russell: My safe word would be "Ow!"
[09:26] Chakota Hutchence: .....try the sanity of the "act"...not the person
[09:27] Pirate Russell: where kle might LOVE her ass beat 'till it bleeds
[09:27] Tristan Mohindi: well yes exactly
[09:27] Kle Edman: :)
[09:27] Pirate Russell: Each D/s relationship is just that a RELATIONSHIP
[09:27] Brenna Lynagh is Offline
[09:27] Pirate Russell: It's as different as the people, and farm animals that are in it
[09:28] Tristan Mohindi: point in progress.
[09:28] Pirate Russell: But each relationship takes COMMUNICATION
[09:28] Tristan Mohindi: agreed whole heartedly
[09:29] Pirate Russell: And in a Power Exchange relationship it takes that up-fron negotiation. How do I know what Scouse likes, if I dont' talk to her, even if it's a 'one dungeon stand'
[09:29] Pirate Russell: or what she won't do?
[09:30] Tristan Mohindi nods
[09:30] Pirate Russell: Heck, I could end up trying to beat a Dominant, if I didn't chat first....
[09:30] Tristan Mohindi: Unfortuantely there are "dominants" out there who seem to forget the "Exchange" part of TPE and take a my way or the high way mentality, foregoing real communication
[09:31] Pirate Russell: Those "dominants", sorry fellas, but they're USUALLY males, who thing a subby is just a whipping post and a screw-toy
[09:31] Tristan Mohindi: the doormat
[09:31] Pirate Russell: They use BDSM as an easy piece of tail
[09:31] Cynthia Ohara is Online
[09:32] Kle Edman nods
[09:32] Chakota Hutchence: and those males are not likely dominants
[09:32] Tristan Mohindi: hence the " "
[09:32] Pirate Russell: Yes, but as W/we saw in the Bill of Righs... subbies have the RIGHT to not be a doormat
[09:33] Pirate Russell: I have no problem with hearin, "Ma'am, I'm a submissive, but not Your submissive"
[09:33] Tristan Mohindi: right
[09:33] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is online
[09:33] Tristan Mohindi: being a submissive does not by default entail being public domain
[09:33] Pirate Russell: And this abusive dom/doormat subbie is why I took this job last July!
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi smiles
[09:34] Pirate Russell: Exactly Tristan, but... if that's your kink..... rock on! Nothing wrong with it if that's what gets ya off!
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi: no not my kink...just for clarification
[09:34] Tristan Mohindi: that is why I chose this meeting as the first to attend
[09:35] Gina Roth is Online
[09:35] Pirate Russell: He heI have agirl that loves to be the lowest of the low, so I forbid her from even OWNING any clothing
[09:35] Tristan Mohindi: the gift of submission is something to be cherrished and not spread around like raspberry preserves
[09:35] Pirate Russell: Boy, do I envy her inventory!
[09:35] Tristan Mohindi: easy to manage I bet
[09:35] Pirate Russell: he he, yep
[09:36] MystiTool HUD 1.3.1: Entering chat range: Huntur Moore (19m)
[09:36] Pirate Russell: And, btw, Tristan, next week is "Responsibilities of Dominance" he he
[09:36] Pirate Russell: Welcome hunter
[09:36] Tristan Mohindi: another great topic
[09:36] Pirate Russell: er Hunter
[09:37] Huntur Moore: or Hun... too. hehe. hello
[09:37] Pirate Russell: Ok, Hi Hun... too!
[09:37] Pirate Russell: LOL, sorry, coldn't resist
[09:37] Huntur Moore: :)
[09:38] Pirate Russell: Anyway, we're in the Q & A part of the "The Gift Of submission"
[09:38] Pirate Russell: But W/we're straying far afield... he he
[09:39] Pirate Russell: So... any more questions, comments, girls that wanna strip?
[09:39] Huntur Moore: lol
[09:40] Kle Edman: Miss, you mentioned the 3 types of submissives, but within those types there are variations in intensity
[09:41] Pirate Russell: Absolutely, goes back to My safe word, "ow" and someone else who, in SL anyway, doesn't have or use them
[09:42] Kle Edman: a natural sub could be just mildly into it for instance
[09:42] Jada Taurog is Online
[09:42] Pirate Russell: It actually goes to what makes EACH of us happy
[09:43] Kle Edman: I guess my question is - can that level be changed by the dom/domme?
[09:43] Kle Edman: or is it a fixed part of a sub's personality?
[09:43] Pirate Russell: Yes, that's true, kle... well maybe nto the natural sub, that's the one that is the 'true submissive'. Into it for the actual submission, not for sex, or for the feeling of bondage, etc
[09:43] Pirate Russell: Well, yes and no
[09:44] Pirate Russell: A bad Dominant can sure make you wanna be a frog somewhere.... and a Goooooood Dominant will engender trust, and posibly take you a little further than you planned.... pushing the envelope, so to speak
[09:45] Huntur Moore: communication and trust. sounds like good foundations to a good D/s relationship.
[09:46] Pirate Russell: Actually, Hunter, it's true of ANY relationship, BDSM or Vanilla, Personal or Business
[09:46] Tristan Mohindi nods
[09:46] Huntur Moore: *Nods in agreement*
[09:47] Huntur Moore: however... i do conduct business with some shady characters. lol
[09:47] Muffin Margulies: honesty is another bit of a good foundation
[09:47] Pirate Russell: how do you know how much a tires is without communicaiton....
[09:47] Pirate Russell: How do you know what kle wants in a Scene, if there's no communicaitno?
[09:47] Pirate Russell: or communication... he he
[09:47] Huntur Moore: phew... i thought she was going spanish on us
[09:48] Heather Steinbeck is Online
[09:48] Pirate Russell: No, Italian, maybe, but not spanish
[09:49] Pirate Russell: communicazione!
[09:49] Huntur Moore: hehe
[09:50] Huntur Moore: its a highly negotiated affair... the D/s relationship. is it not
[09:50] Pirate Russell: If done right, yes. I did touch on this earlier, but it's so important, I'll do it again
[09:51] Pirate Russell: If I meet up with some sub, in a dungeon, randomly....
[09:51] Huntur Moore: sry. those dam stragglers.. always walking in late.. making everyone repeat things. :D
[09:51] Pirate Russell: if we dont' talk for at least a couple min, I don't know her likes.... her limits
[09:53] Huntur Moore: you know what confuses me. its a complicated exchange... any relationship is... my confusion is how some D's can juggle like 3 or 4 subs under 1 roof. seems like controlled chaos to me.
[09:53] Pirate Russell whispers: EEP, sorryto the male subbies here.... ".... their limits"
[09:53] Pirate Russell does that, actually, I have 3 core subbies and a few that show up occaisonally (logging on to SL) and some subbie friends that I like to play with
[09:54] Jessi Escape is Online
[09:54] Huntur Moore: but all in 1 room at once? or individually at separate times
[09:54] Pirate Russell: And 2 of 3 of them, are pretty.... forgiving in the 'share dept'.
[09:54] Pirate Russell: Yes, Hunter
[09:55] Pirate Russell: Sometimes together, sometimes individually, sometimea a mix of friends and Mine....
[09:55] Pirate Russell: Sometime with Vanilla or other Dommes
[09:55] Kle Edman: that sounds like quite a party Miss :)
[09:56] Huntur Moore: then what am i missing. i seem to get involved with highly jealous subs
[09:56] Pirate Russell: It usualy is, red, it usually is!
[09:56] Huntur Moore: then #2 shows up, its difficult
[09:56] Pirate Russell: Well, My final rule when I talk about collaring a girl is:
[09:56] Pirate Russell: Rule 7) Enjoy being SEXUALLY MOLESTED by Me, knowing that the girl is not My only pet, friend or play-thing, and that she may be shared with her sisters, and My friends!
[09:56] amycrystalee Trenchmouth is Online
[09:57] Pirate Russell: Now, I have had girls that thought they were My one and only, or thought they could work inot that position
[09:57] Huntur Moore: *listens closely*
[09:57] Pirate Russell: I have a one and only in RL
[09:58] Pirate Russell: Dont' want that in SL
[09:58] Pirate Russell: So if they can't handle that, then the door's right over there
[09:58] Huntur Moore: so laying down the rule... how its gonna be.. early on is key
[09:59] Pirate Russell: Has been for Me, started out with 5 Rules, that's the last one I had to add, and that was about 2 yrs ago
[10:00] Huntur Moore: what are your first 6? if I may
[10:00] Pirate Russell:
[10:00] Huntur Moore: :)
[10:00] Pirate Russell: Pirate's Rules Of Conduct
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1 is RL comes first, no matter what, this rule is My one ABSOLUTE, and I've needed to break it up into 2 parts
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1a) This is a "game". If you have Real Life issues they come first! If girl must leave My presence, simply say "Rule 1" and handle life, whether it be AFK, or logging.
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 1b) Since this is a "game", if you're not having fun, tell Me, we'll do something else, or we'll play separately for a while, or for good. But please TELL ME!
[10:01] Huntur Moore: oh no! RL associates should understand that toons come first!! say its not so. *snickers*
[10:01] Top Friends v1.12: amy Trenchmouth (Friends) is online
[10:01] Pirate Russell: next are standard...
[10:01] Huntur Moore: 1b = awesome sub rule
[10:01] Pirate Russell: Rule 2) I am always right!
Rule 3) If girl perceves Me to be wrong, see Rule 2. Standard stuff, but if I'm making a total ass of Myself..... Tell Me in IM, I am pretty proficient at making an ass of Myrself!
[10:01] Top Friends v1.12: amy Trenchmouth (Friends) is online
[10:02] Pirate Russell: Rule 4) When I'm in game, you will be available to Me, unconditionally. This does not mean you will be at My feet 24 X 7, but if I want you, you WILL come! I do make allowances for SL work, being with friends, subs, etc.
[10:02] Pirate Russell: ((another one that communication is VITAL in))
[10:02] Pirate Russell: Rule 5) When you're in game, and I'm not, conduct yourself in a way that would make Me proud of you. girl will wear the collar at ALL times, have a mention about Me in girl's profile, at the begining of the 2nd Life page, and allow Me to track girl on the map.
[10:02] Anners Sommer is Online
[10:03] Pirate Russell: Rule 6) thou shalt have no other dommes, or doms, before Me.
[10:03] Huntur Moore: /claps
[10:03] Maya Owatatsumi is Online
[10:03] Pirate Russell: And then you saw
[10:03] Pirate Russell: 7
[10:04] Huntur Moore: tyvm for sharing that
[10:04] Tristan Mohindi laughs
[10:04] Tristan Mohindi: That is a great title
[10:05] Pirate Russell: Worked on it for 2 yrs! He he
[10:05] Pirate Russell: Well, our Hour is about up, any last questions?
[10:05] Huntur Moore: yes
[10:05] Huntur Moore: is there a tip jar?
[10:05] Huntur Moore: :)
[10:06] Pirate Russell: Sort of...
[10:06] Cynthia Ohara is Offline
[10:06] Huntur Moore: insert bills into your panties right?
[10:06] Pirate Russell: PLEASE if any are inclned to tip, go to West of Ireland, and donate to Project Children
[10:06] Pirate Russell: Ummmm..... that would be tough!
[10:06] Pirate Russell doesn't wear panties
[10:07] Huntur Moore: yup.. dam tough. almost as tough as going to Ireland
[10:07] Pirate Russell: See!
[10:07] Huntur Moore: *whistles*
[10:08] Huntur Moore: all this knowledge and a show too! you guys are the best
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Pirate Russell: Class Dismissed!
[10:08] Tristan Mohindi: Thank you Miss Russell
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Huntur Moore: *takes a bow* yes, tyvm Miss
[10:08] Top Friends v1.12: Cynthia Ohara (Friends) is offline
[10:08] Pirate Russell: Thans to y'all for making it interesting.... I learn stuff EVERY class
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