[2009/01/20 7:13] MystiTool HUD 1.3.0: Entering chat range: Morganna Serpente (8m)
[2009/01/20 7:13] Pirate Russell: For any that need to leave early, all transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/01/20 7:13] Pirate Russell: O/our topic today: The Repsonsibility of Dominance
[2009/01/20 7:14] Pirate Russell: I would like to preface this with My usual, EVERY releationship is as different as those that are in it.
[2009/01/20 7:14] Pirate Russell: Dominants have responsibilities and, yes rules, too!
[2009/01/20 7:14] Pirate Russell: The Highest Honour That A Dominant Could Ever Achieve Is The State Of Honour Itself. To Be Completely Respected And Trusted.
[2009/01/20 7:14] Pirate Russell: There Are Some Definite Guidelines About Being A Dominant. With The Ever Growing Population Of "Chatrooms" There Appears To Be A Lot Of Confusion About The Dominants Role In The "Online" Lifestyle.
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: The Foundation Of The Dominant Are Based On 3 Lil Words:
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: Trust
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: Honour
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: Respect
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: Each Dominant Should Be Able To Display Chararistics Of These Words, Both "Online" As Well As Offline.
[2009/01/20 7:15] Pirate Russell: The Power Exchange Is About Trust Can You Trust Someone Who Dismisses Your Feelings Even In An "Online" Relationship.
[2009/01/20 7:16] Pirate Russell: Playing In Other Chats Or Instant Messengers, Secretly Accepting Other "submissives" All The While He Is Claiming He Is "Trustworthy"?
[2009/01/20 7:16] Pirate Russell: Is It Acceptable For A Dominant To Hide "Online" Things From His submissive?
[2009/01/20 7:16] Pirate Russell: Especially If They Plan On A Real Time Meeting Or Relationship? If They Hiding Things Here, Wonders What They are going to Hide From You RL.
[2009/01/20 7:16] Pirate Russell: One Of The Things A submissive Must Have Is The Confidence In Their Dominant Will Not Harm Them Nor Allow Harm To Come To Them.
[2009/01/20 7:17] Pirate Russell: Trust Must Be Established. This Goes For The Mental Health As Well As The Physical Aspect Of The Relationship.
[2009/01/20 7:17] Pirate Russell: Trust Will Grow As We Respect And Honour Each Other. Please Get To Know The Person You Are Considering To Be In A Relationship With.
[2009/01/20 7:17] Pirate Russell: You Are Trusting Someone With The Most Precious Thing You Have...Your LIFE. You Can Quickly End Up In A Situation That Is Neither Safe, Sane, Nor Consensual.
[2009/01/20 7:17] Pirate Russell: Can You Really Trust Your Life To Someone who Takes No Value Of The Words Trust, Honour & Respect?
[2009/01/20 7:18] Pirate Russell: According to Rules for Masters by Jack Rinella <
[2009/01/20 7:18] Pirate Russell: 1. Have some rules. Over time, of course, each one of us gains insight into what works and what doesn't. Some of this wisdom is codified into rules.
[2009/01/20 7:18] Pirate Russell: Rules are protective, instructive, and helpful. Having rules means that you know yourself, know what you want and don't want, and understand that everyone, including yourself, has limits.
[2009/01/20 7:19] Pirate Russell: I know some people think they have no limits. They are fooling themselves as we are all constrained by physical nature, economic considerations, legal issues, and moral and ethical realities.
[2009/01/20 7:19] Pirate Russell: We are all limited by the rose colored glasses through which we see the world. Rules help us respect those limits and avoid the trouble that is encountered when we exceed them.
[2009/01/20 7:19] Pirate Russell: 2. Make sure those rules are your rules. You can't (well you can if you want) just go out and find some rules and use them.
[2009/01/20 7:19] Pirate Russell: Rules must take their life from who you are. Rules must reflect the authentic you. If they don't, they will be burdensome and unenforceable.
[2009/01/20 7:20] Pirate Russell: Good rules, then, start from the first rule of life: "Know thyself." I guess I would then temper that with "Love, and then do whatever you will." That doesn't mean that you can't borrow or copy another's rules. By all means do so.
[2009/01/20 7:20] Pirate Russell: There is no reason to reinvent the wheel. If Master so and so has a reason for doing something and you like it, then do it too. Just make sure the rules resonate with who you are and what you want.
[2009/01/20 7:20] Pirate Russell: I can not be too strong in emphasizing the importance of the inner self in this arena of rule-making column.
[2009/01/20 7:21] Pirate Russell: 3. Don't make brittle rules. Rules are helpful because they add clarity and facilitate decision making. Rules cut in stone become millstones and anchors.
[2009/01/20 7:21] Pirate Russell: Now I have nothing against either of those things as we need to grind grain and anchor boats,
[2009/01/20 7:21] Pirate Russell: but if you think you can run your dungeon, your slave, or your life by a set of rules that are set in concrete or carved in granite, then you are kidding yourself.
[2009/01/20 7:22] Pirate Russell: Better than a long list of rules, one might have a list of principles, guidelines for action. Certainly they may lend themselves to codification, but the spirit of the principle is much more important than the letter of the law.
[2009/01/20 7:22] Pirate Russell: The Sabbath, after all, was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Besides, there are always going to be exceptions and no amount of rule writing is going to cover all the possibilities.
[2009/01/20 7:23] Pirate Russell: 4. Communicate those rules. It's obvious that we need to communicate rules to slaves so that they obey them. The same goes for rules for ourselves.
[2009/01/20 7:23] Pirate Russell: Over time, I tell my applicants my rules and explain why I have them. I won't, for instance, let a write and talk endlessly.
[2009/01/20 7:24] Pirate Russell: He has got to show up at my doorstep within 6-8 weeks of our initial meeting. Why? Because I'm not into cybersex.
[2009/01/20 7:24] Elegance RW 1.14.2 (r forearm): Bunny Hastings has detached her HUD cache !
[2009/01/20 7:24] Pirate Russell: Are there exceptions? Sure. The date can be extended for lots of reasons, but the communication will be curtailed until the plane ticket is bought. It's simply a matter that if you're not ready, then please don't act like you are.
[2009/01/20 7:25] Pirate Russell: Communicating your rules has some nice benefits.
[2009/01/20 7:25] Pirate Russell: It shows you are in control, that you have an understanding of what you want and don't want, and that you've thought about being a Master.
[2009/01/20 7:26] Pirate Russell: It also gives the a sense of security to know that you have rules too, such as "I will not have un-safe sex." Now he knows he doesn't have to worry about one thing anyway.
[2009/01/20 7:26] Pirate Russell: 5. Remember man, that thou art dust; or get real. These Doms who think the world revolves around them need to think again.
[2009/01/20 7:27] Pirate Russell: Humility is a still a virtue, even in a person who wields great power. Being in control doesn't that mean that a person needs to be haughty, egotistical, or obnoxious.
[2009/01/20 7:27] Pirate Russell: If you are truly a person born to rule, then you have no need to put on airs. Pretense smells. Honesty, sincerity, and generosity have quite a different odor about them.
[2009/01/20 7:27] Pirate Russell: There's also a side of this rule that inv
[2009/01/20 7:28] Pirate Russell: If they aren't, they will be honored only in the breaking and you will be seen as living in a fantasy world. It's one thing, of course, to have a rule for a weekend scene, quite another to have a rule for living out the rest of your life.
[2009/01/20 7:28] Pirate Russell: 6. Stay above it. Just because the world is going to hell in a hand basket is no reason for you to do the same. Have high standards and stick to them.
[2009/01/20 7:28] Pirate Russell: 7. Set benchmarks and progress points. A person becomes a doctor through a long and arduous series of learning experiences and tests that prove the experiences have had their desired effect.
[2009/01/20 7:28] Pirate Russell: Each passing grade through high school, college, and med school contributes to the eventual M.D. Each evaluation, and not any single one, grants a person his or her license to practice medicine.
[2009/01/20 7:28] Pirate Russell: It is no different for plumbers, electricians, or anyone else who wishes to acquire skill and standing.
[2009/01/20 7:29] Pirate Russell: As you evaluate prospective slaves, recognize that this is a process and note their success or failure at each step of the way.
[2009/01/20 7:29] Pirate Russell: Too often we want to jump to a full-blown contract while what are required are small steps and a gradual process.
[2009/01/20 7:29] Pirate Russell: Heat milk quickly and it scalds, heat it slowly and it comes out just right.
[2009/01/20 7:29] Evil Titler v2: Brennan McMahon needs a new title! To set it, anyone may say the text on /13. Brennan is not able to change it.
[2009/01/20 7:30] ***IM***'s Arm Shackles: ***IM*** has detached her HUD cache !
[2009/01/20 7:30] Evil Titler v2: Pirate Russell has set a new title for Brennan McMahon! Brennan will have to live with this until the next chance for it to be changed.
[2009/01/20 7:30] Pirate Russell: Running evaluations are helpful to everyone. Rules, after all, are meant to be helpful, indicative of reality.
[2009/01/20 7:30] Pirate Russell: 8. Don't talk it all to death.
[2009/01/20 7:30] Pirate Russell: We are, after all, trying to develop real relationships. If I'm never going to meet you, I'm never going to be your master. You can pretend all you want on the phone.
[2009/01/20 7:31] Pirate Russell: It might even get you off. But one of my rules is that until you've shaken hands, you haven't met. Until I can lo
[2009/01/20 7:31] Pirate Russell: 9. Take responsibility. First and foremost you, top or bottom, are responsible for the consequences of your actions. Recognize that fact. Act responsibly. You are the one, after all, who wants to be in control.
[2009/01/20 7:31] Pirate Russell: 10. When a person says one thing and does another, I always listen to what they do. That advice has stood me in good stead. I hope it does the same for you.
[2009/01/20 7:32] Pirate Russell: I'd like to wind up today's talk with the Seven Pillars of Dominance:
[2009/01/20 7:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:32] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:33] Pirate Russell: - A Dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige. The Dictionnaire de l’Académie française defines it thus:
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: Whoever claims to be noble must conduct himself nobly
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: If a Dominant is the centre of a submissive's universe, it is because she thinks so, not because he does.
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just because. The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: All transcripts can be found at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2009/01/20 7:34] Pirate Russell: College of Kink classes Monday, Tuesday, Thursday& Friday @ 7a, Tuesday & Thursday 12:30a, and Friday 1p.
[2009/01/20 7:35] Pirate Russell: Cancel the Friday 1p class, that has been moved to Friday 7a
[2009/01/20 7:35] Pirate Russell: Y/you could always check the Search/Events and look for College
[2009/01/20 7:36] Pirate Russell: Questions, comments?
[2009/01/20 7:36] ***TV***: Smiles. Well done Pirate
[2009/01/20 7:36] ***TV***: I prefer to think of the "Rules" for my submissives as "mutual preferences" always subject to change or reformation as we mature in each other and grow. But our primary "rule" is that we must all very humbly be grateful for the immense gifts we are giving to each other and respect those gifts.
[2009/01/20 7:36] ***XD***: that was very informative, thanks, smiles
[2009/01/20 7:37] ***SS***: Dear Gods, please bless this bounty of orgasms for which we are about to recieve *giggles*
[2009/01/20 7:37] Pirate Russell: I am open to discussion from all of Mine, re: the rules. I have made consessions, and alterations, in the past
[2009/01/20 7:37] ***IM*** nods
[2009/01/20 7:38] Pirate Russell: Was just about to point to the Lady in Red.... ok girl in Red... he he
[2009/01/20 7:39] Pirate Russell: no other questions?
[2009/01/20 7:39] Pirate Russell: Y'all are gonna make it HARD on Me today... hehe
[2009/01/20 7:40] ***JH*** raises a hand
[2009/01/20 7:40] Pirate Russell: Yes, ***JH***
[2009/01/20 7:40] ***JH***: you're talk went into a lot of RL topics, do you have any additional advice to SL only relations?
[2009/01/20 7:41] ***TV***: One is not relieved of the resonsibility to show humility and respect merely because we are online I think.
[2009/01/20 7:41] Pirate Russell: Not really, because we're all "meat bags" sitting behind these screens.... real feelings behind the hot cartoonie avitars
[2009/01/20 7:42] ***TV***: grins at meat bag
[2009/01/20 7:42] ***XD***: lol
[2009/01/20 7:42] ***JH***: Thanks. (and good lecture BTW)
[2009/01/20 7:42] ***TV***: The AV may be fake but the emotions behind it are quite real
[2009/01/20 7:42] ***NS***: agrees it something that people seem to forget alot
[2009/01/20 7:42] Pirate Russell: And, I can also tell the submissives from the ones playing a role, too!
[2009/01/20 7:43] ***SS*** nods
[2009/01/20 7:44] ***IM***: What are some of Your rules, if girl may ask the Dom/mes here?
[2009/01/20 7:44] Pirate Russell: I have a companion lecture to this about submissive rights, and there are 3 types of subbies, those that are submissive to the process (bondage, humiliation, etc), those that... um... let Me grab My notes on the2nd, and the 3rd is the true submissive, those that actually put their Dominant first
[2009/01/20 7:44] Pirate Russell: My first and formost rule is what, ***IM***?
[2009/01/20 7:44] ***IM***: real life comes first.
[2009/01/20 7:45] ***JH***: Good rule.... I subscribe to that one
[2009/01/20 7:45] Pirate Russell: EXACTLY!
[2009/01/20 7:45] Pirate Russell: Not just for play, but ofr the relationship, too!
[2009/01/20 7:45] ***SS***: I keep looking online and i keep getting 404 file not found
[2009/01/20 7:45] Pirate Russell: Looking for what, ***SS***?
[2009/01/20 7:45] ***SS***: The Real Life store
[2009/01/20 7:45] Pirate Russell: Ahh, ok
[2009/01/20 7:46] ***IM*** giggles
[2009/01/20 7:46] Pirate Russell: Quoted from My Rules, "Rule 1 is RL comes first, no matter what, this rule is My one ABSOLUTE, and I've needed to break it up into 2 parts"
[2009/01/20 7:46] Pirate Russell: " Rule 1a) This is a "game". If you have Real Life issues they come first! If girl must leave My presence, simply say "Rule 1" and handle life, whether it be AFK, or logging. "
[2009/01/20 7:46] Pirate Russell: " Rule 1b) Since this is a "game", if you're not having fun, tell Me, we'll do something else, or we'll play separately for a while, or for good. But please TELL ME!"
[2009/01/20 7:46] Pirate Russell: That is the only rule that is not negotiable with Me
[2009/01/20 7:47] Pirate Russell: ~~~ and that other submissive is, "Sexual Submissive (AKA bottom, sensual submissive)
A sexual sub is in D/s for their own sexual gratification."
[2009/01/20 7:48] Pirate Russell: I will do the companion class next wek
[2009/01/20 7:48] ***IM***'s Arm Shackles: ***IM*** has detached her HUD cache !
[2009/01/20 7:48] Pirate Russell: er week
[2009/01/20 7:49] ***IM***: Any other rules You Dom/mes have?
[2009/01/20 7:49] Pirate Russell: it's called, "The Gift of submission"
[2009/01/20 7:49] ***TV***: Pirate. What abour rules of dress or how they must appear in your presence?
[2009/01/20 7:49] ***TV***: eg. no jeans
[2009/01/20 7:49] ***IM*** giggles and blushes
[2009/01/20 7:50] Pirate Russell has no real rules for that, but if ***IM*** will stand I will illustrate one of My STRONG preferences
[2009/01/20 7:50] ***SS***: Personally, I insist all my girls wear high heels, stillettos, or the like.
[2009/01/20 7:50] ***XD***: one strict one i have is respect me when i am working at a SL job online, don't embarrass me or show up as a puppy or tied up and gagged hopping around, that might get me fired... common sense rules like that, LOL
[2009/01/20 7:50] ***TV***: smiles. good preference
[2009/01/20 7:50] Pirate Russell HATES underwear and ESPECIALLY Glitch Pants!
[2009/01/20 7:50] ***IM*** whispers: Meep!
[2009/01/20 7:50] ***MK***looks to her heels
[2009/01/20 7:51] Pirate Russell: Come sit at My feet, little one
[2009/01/20 7:51] ***IM*** mutters "girl is going to stop asking questions."
[2009/01/20 7:52] ***IM*** smiles
[2009/01/20 7:52] ***SS***: heh. I TEACH classes with less on
[2009/01/20 7:52] Pirate Russell: He he
[2009/01/20 7:52] ***TV***: My strong preference in dress is for my subs to appear before me clad only in thigh high black hose and a silver belly chain.
[2009/01/20 7:52] ***IM*** grins
[2009/01/20 7:53] Pirate Russell: girl just might start attending them that way, as well!
[2009/01/20 7:53] Pirate Russell: Anything else?
[2009/01/20 7:53] ***SS***: Yes Miss pirate
[2009/01/20 7:54] Pirate Russell: er AnyONE else?
[2009/01/20 7:55] ***TV***: nods. good job
[2009/01/20 7:55] Pirate Russell: Well, in that case....
[2009/01/20 7:56] Pirate Russell: ....................................Class....
[2009/01/20 7:56] Pirate Russell: ....................................................................................DISMISSED!
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