[2008/12/12 13:18] Pirate Russell: For those that must leave early this, and all transcripts will be posted at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com .
[2008/12/12 13:18] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: Blah blah
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: Our topic today, "D/s 101 submissive Rights and Dominant Responsibilities".
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: This topic is VERY near and dear to My heart. I have seen submissives mistreated by their dominants and either left the SL Lifestyle or just spent way too much time not enjoying themselves.
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: My philosophy is that W/we are all her to enjoy ourselves. Some gain that enjoyment by being whipped, some by whipping. Some enjoy being humiliated, some enjoy humiliating them.
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: W/we each have our own fun, but it's just that. fun. W/we are here to enjoy our time or we'd be off doing other things in other games, or
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: Further, submission is a GIFT. The most special gift that can be given.
[2008/12/12 13:19] Pirate Russell: subsmissives give themselves. There is no greater honour, or honor for those that speak American, than to be given the gift of submission.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: I have found a very good list of submissive Rights
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: Here are some of the basic submissive rights:
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: 1) You have the right to be respected.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: No one should be ordering you around or expecting you to answer questions or doing things you're not comfortable with.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: 2) You have the right to your freedom.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: Just because someone is interested in you, they can't take your freedom from you.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: Don't let anyone try to intimidate you; you belong to no one until you offer yourself to them. They can't restrict you in any way until you allow them to.
[2008/12/12 13:20] Pirate Russell: 3) You have a right to be satisfied--emotionally and physically.
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: This is a relationship, y'all. While the power control aspect does add a few kinks (pun intended) into the mix, you don't get extra points for making yourself into a sacrificial lamb for someone else's amusement and/or satisfaction.
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: Get what you need or find someone else that will give it to you.
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: 4) You have a right to take your time and not rush into anything ever.
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: Being chained in the doorway, naked and vulnerable isn't really a good time to find out your Dominant wants to explore their sadistic side a little more.
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: Talk,
[2008/12/12 13:21] Pirate Russell: talk,
[2008/12/12 13:22] Pirate Russell: talk,
[2008/12/12 13:22] Pirate Russell: and talk some more. If you have concerns that aren't addressed, move on. It's not worth the risk.
[2008/12/12 13:22] Pirate Russell: 5) You DON'T have a right to play "needy and desperate".
[2008/12/12 13:22] Pirate Russell: Who in the world wants to own someone that doesn't have a backbone and will submit to anyone for any reason? BIG satisfaction potential there!
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: 6) You have a right to respect yourself.
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: This means holding out for the relationship YOU want and not being talked into the relationship someone else wants with you.
[2008/12/12 13:23] ***OE***: utmost too
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: You're submissive, not stupid and, if you're not going to be happy, you're only wasting everyone's time.
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: Just any collar isn't worth your peace of mind. Honest. It *HAS* to be the right one.
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: 7) You have the right to enjoy this always.
[2008/12/12 13:23] Pirate Russell: If you find you're in a relationship that's bringing more tears, confusion and unreasonable or uncomfortable demands than smiles and "warm fuzzies",
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: take some time to pull back and see what's going on or talk with someone else about it,either your Dominant or a friend who knows the lifestyle.
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: The same basics apply here as anywhere; something's wrong if you're dreading logging into SL, or hiding from people.
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: You deserve more than that. Have the courage to find it. You'll be glad you did!"
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: Most of all I want to reiterate, you have the RIGHT to enjoy yourself. and submissives have the RIGHT to wait for the right Dominant.
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: Ok... now the other side of the coin, so to speak.
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: The following is taken Dominant's Creed
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.
[2008/12/12 13:24] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others.
[2008/12/12 13:25] Pirate Russell: In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
[2008/12/12 13:25] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
[2008/12/12 13:25] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me would never asks a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, or Rreal Life, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.
[2008/12/12 13:25] Pirate Russell: To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust.
[2008/12/12 13:25] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
[2008/12/12 13:26] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them.
[2008/12/12 13:26] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
[2008/12/12 13:26] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, respect and love
[2008/12/12 13:26] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.
[2008/12/12 13:27] Pirate Russell: And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.
[2008/12/12 13:27] Pirate Russell: I'd like to wind up today's talk with the Seven Pillars of Dominance:
[2008/12/12 13:27] Pirate Russell: - A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:27] Pirate Russell: - A dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:27] Pirate Russell: - A dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:28] Pirate Russell: - A dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:28] Pirate Russell: - A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:28] Pirate Russell: - A dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:28] Pirate Russell: - A dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.
[2008/12/12 13:29] ***OE***: greetings, Whitelighter
[2008/12/12 13:29] Pirate Russell: For those that must leave this, and all transcripts will be posted at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2008/12/12 13:29] Pirate Russell: ***EVENTUALLY***
[2008/12/12 13:29] Pirate Russell: Quesitons and comments on these Rights & Responsibilities?
[2008/12/12 13:29] Pirate Russell: [ you have reached the end of the current notecard - resetting to first line... ]
[2008/12/12 13:30] ***SS***: Well, on the right of getting the exact relationship.
[2008/12/12 13:30] ***SS***: Aren't most relationships, even vaniolla ones, based off some negotiatition, some give and take?
[2008/12/12 13:31] Pirate Russell: DANG lag
[2008/12/12 13:31] Pirate Russell: Yes, Sri, EVERY relationship, even a 'one dungeon stand' should have some communication. How else would you know the sub's limits, or the Domme's strengths?
[2008/12/12 13:33] ***IM***: You mentioned a Dom "exploring his sadistic side." Do You think that Dom/mes have a sadistic streak, and subs a masochist streak?
[2008/12/12 13:33] ***OE***: yes
[2008/12/12 13:33] ***IM***: girl doesn't think of herself as machochistic
[2008/12/12 13:34] ***IM***: or as a good speller.
[2008/12/12 13:34] ***KC***: neither does this girl
[2008/12/12 13:34] Pirate Russell: Some do, some don't. Some subs have a masochistic streak, they try to to from the bottom!
[2008/12/12 13:35] Pirate Russell: You can't lump any of a group inot another group, a BDSM Relationship is just that a Relationship. And as such is as DIFFERENT as those that are in it!
[2008/12/12 13:35] ***IM***: Is it fair to link BDSM with D/s so closely then? They always seem to be used interchangably
[2008/12/12 13:36] Pirate Russell: Nope, but apples and oranges end up in the same fruit salad, too!
[2008/12/12 13:37] Pirate Russell: I don't like lables or pigeon holes, at all. In RL I make them put Me in 3 or four at a time!
[2008/12/12 13:38] Pirate Russell: Oh, and I had the Masochistic and sadistic backwards earlier.
[2008/12/12 13:38] Pirate Russell: I still don't think all subbies are masochists, though they ARE out there
[2008/12/12 13:38] ***SS***: I like labels. *slaps a UPC label on everyone*
[2008/12/12 13:38] Pirate Russell: EEK, the mark of the beast!
[2008/12/12 13:39] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/12/12 13:39] Pirate Russell: LOL, and I'm in Retail in RL, enough talk about work! LOL
[2008/12/12 13:39] ***SS***: BWA
[2008/12/12 13:39] ***OE***: try and take a label off all the can goods in the house.. how would you know what you getting when opening that can?
[2008/12/12 13:39] ***SS***: Shake it and listen
[2008/12/12 13:39] ***OE***: lol.
[2008/12/12 13:40] Pirate Russell: That's called "Dinner Roulette"!
[2008/12/12 13:40] ***OE***: hehe
[2008/12/12 13:40] ***SS*** is a pro at identifying unlabeled cans
[2008/12/12 13:40] ***OE***: learn to mentally mark
[2008/12/12 13:40] Pirate Russell need a pen, My brain's not strong enough to mark cans
[2008/12/12 13:41] ***OE***: just inner gut feelings
[2008/12/12 13:41] Pirate Russell: Anyway... back to the subject at hand, any more questions on submission or Dominance?
[2008/12/12 13:43] ***aT***: You were talking earlier about waiting for the right one but how do you know one is the right one or how long you should wait before trying to commit with that person?
[2008/12/12 13:44] ***IM***: It depends on the lag.
[2008/12/12 13:44] ***SS***: Usually it varies
[2008/12/12 13:44] ***OE***: excuse me again..
[2008/12/12 13:44] Pirate Russell: Ultimately it's up to the 'gut' of the ones in the relationship. There should be Negotiation, and I like a trial period of at least 2 weeks to see schedules, styles of play, etc
[2008/12/12 13:45] ***SS***: It's hard to say. I've seen people dating for years that still moved too fast, while others whirlwinded into a marriage in a hurry be wonderful together many years later
[2008/12/12 13:45] ***SS***: It takes the c word to know what's what in any relationship
[2008/12/12 13:46] ***IM***: A lot depends on how much both parties are willing to talk to each other and share their true desires and thoughts.
[2008/12/12 13:46] ***IM*** smiles
[2008/12/12 13:46] Pirate Russell: A D/s relationsiop is not unlike a marriage, should be a perioud of courting, to see if you even like eachother, or it's just an emphatuation
[2008/12/12 13:46] ***SS***: It takes *cues the evil sounding music* Communication!
[2008/12/12 13:46] ***IM***: Yup.
[2008/12/12 13:48] ***IM***: girl thinks there comes a time when everything that happens just reinforces a decision to stay or move on. That's when it's time to make the choice.
[2008/12/12 13:49] ***SS***: Aye
[2008/12/12 13:49] ***IM***: And most everyone waits way too long, or no where near long enough.
[2008/12/12 13:49] ***OE***: back
[2008/12/12 13:50] Pirate Russell: VERY few get it right... that's why communication needs to KEEP happening
[2008/12/12 13:50] Pirate Russell: right, immediately, that is
[2008/12/12 13:51] Pirate Russell has a sneakin' hunch this is gonna be a short class, I'm preaching to the choir today!
[2008/12/12 13:51] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/12/12 13:51] ***KC*** smiles
[2008/12/12 13:51] ***SS***: LAWL
[2008/12/12 13:52] ***SS***: And if they don't wanna communicate, there's always the frying pan
[2008/12/12 13:53] Pirate Russell: All the subbies here know THE secret!
[2008/12/12 13:53] Pirate Russell: You can mute Us, take off Our collar, ban Us from your lands, and NOTHING We can do about it!
[2008/12/12 13:54] ***IM*** takes notes......
[2008/12/12 13:54] Pirate Russell: And as Dom/mes We can say, it's over you're released
[2008/12/12 13:54] ***KC*** giggles at ***IM***
[2008/12/12 13:55] ***KC*** holds her breath
[2008/12/12 13:55] Pirate Russell: Well, that's all I have, and ***IM***, it's been fun... happy new Domme!
[2008/12/12 13:55] Pirate Russell: Class, and girl.........
[2008/12/12 13:55] ***IM***: meep!
[2008/12/12 13:55] Pirate Russell: ......ok, not girl..... dismissed
[2008/12/12 13:55] ***OE***: thank you Piriate ::smiles::
[2008/12/12 13:55] ***SS***: O.o
[2008/12/12 13:55] ***KC*** exhales
[2008/12/12 13:56] ***KC***: thank You Miss Pirate for another informative discussion
[2008/12/12 13:56] Pirate Russell: It's My pleasure, and next week's class from Me.........
[2008/12/12 13:56] Pirate Russell: DUM DUM DUMMMMMM>...... SUBSPACE!
[2008/12/12 13:56] ***OE***: ::smiles::
[2008/12/12 13:56] ***IM***: Oooh.
[2008/12/12 13:56] ***OE***: that i know about
[2008/12/12 13:56] ***KC*** looks forward to it
[2008/12/12 13:57] Pirate Russell: GOOD, I don't
[2008/12/12 13:57] ***SS***: Me poor bairs dinnae have the power to go to subspace cap'n
[2008/12/12 13:57] Pirate Russell: i've READ about it... but it's something I'll never know
[2008/12/12 13:57] ***IM*** laughs
[2008/12/12 13:58] ***OE***: if i was brave enough i'd show my vid of when i did last
[2008/12/12 13:58] ***SS***: Pirate, as slave gone Domme, it's not that different from Dommespace
[2008/12/12 13:58] Pirate Russell: Ahhh, Sri, I just noticed you're the Queen of Tarts!
[2008/12/12 13:58] ***WS***: it was a great discussion
[2008/12/12 13:58] ***SS***: Alice in Wonderland ball I'm attending in a lil bit
[2008/12/12 13:59] ***OE***: gorgous outfit
[2008/12/12 13:59] Pirate Russell: it's more fun with a bigger crowd, but I have some GREAT regulars
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