[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: Please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: For those that must leave early this, and all transcripts will be posted at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com .
[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for over 3 years, a Lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: Our topic today, "D/s 101 submisive Rights and Dominant Responsibilities".
[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: This topic is VERY near and dear to My heart. I have seen submissives mistreated by their dominants and either left the SL Lifestyle or just spent way too much time not enjoying themselves.
[2008/12/09 7:11] Pirate Russell: My philosophy is that W/we are all here to enjoy O/ourselves. Some gain that enjoyment by being whipped, some by whipping. Some enjoy being humiliated, some enjoy humiliating them.
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: W/we each have O/our own fun, but it's just that. fun. W/we are here to enjoy O/our time or W/we'd be off doing other things in other games, or
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: Further, submission is a GIFT. The most special gift that can be given.
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: subsmissives give themselves. There is no greater honour, or honor for those that speak American, than to be given the gift of submission.
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: I have found a very good list of submissive Rights
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: Here are some of the basic submissive rights:
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: 1) You have the right to be respected.
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: No one should be ordering you around or expecting you to answer questions or doing things you're not comfortable with.
[2008/12/09 7:12] Pirate Russell: 2) You have the right to your freedom.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: Just because someone is interested in you, they can't take your freedom from you.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: Don't let anyone try to intimidate you; you belong to no one until you offer yourself to them. They can't restrict you in any way until you allow them to.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: 3) You have a right to be satisfied--emotionally and physically.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: This is a relationship, y'all. While the power control aspect does add a few kinks (pun intended) into the mix, you don't get extra points for making yourself into a sacrificial lamb for someone else's amusement and/or satisfaction.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: Get what you need or find someone else that will give it to you.
[2008/12/09 7:13] Pirate Russell: 4) You have a right to take your time and not rush into anything ever.
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: Being chained in the doorway, naked and vulnerable isn't really a good time to find out your Dominant wants to explore their sadistic side a little more.
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: Talk,
[2008/12/09 7:14] Desire Faulds laughs
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: talk,
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: talk,
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: and talk some more. If you have concerns that aren't addressed, move on. It's not worth the risk.
[2008/12/09 7:14] Pirate Russell: 5) You DON'T have a right to play "needy and desperate".
[2008/12/09 7:15] Pirate Russell: Who in the world wants to own someone that doesn't have a backbone and will submit to anyone for any reason? BIG satisfaction potential there!
[2008/12/09 7:15] Pirate Russell: 6) You have a right to respect yourself.
[2008/12/09 7:15] Pirate Russell: This means holding out for the relationship YOU want and not being talked into the relationship someone else wants with you.
[2008/12/09 7:15] Pirate Russell: You're submissive, not stupid and, if you're not going to be happy, you're only wasting everyone's time.
[2008/12/09 7:16] Pirate Russell: Just any collar isn't worth your peace of mind. Honest. It *HAS* to be the right one.
[2008/12/09 7:16] Pirate Russell: 7) You have the right to enjoy this always.
[2008/12/09 7:16] Pirate Russell: If you find you're in a relationship that's bringing more tears, confusion and unreasonable or uncomfortable demands than smiles and "warm fuzzies",
[2008/12/09 7:16] Pirate Russell: take some time to pull back and see what's going on or talk with someone else about it,either your Dominant or a friend who knows the lifestyle.
[2008/12/09 7:16] Pirate Russell: The same basics apply here as anywhere; something's wrong if you're dreading logging into SL, or hiding from people.
[2008/12/09 7:17] Pirate Russell: You deserve more than that. Have the courage to find it. You'll be glad you did!"
[2008/12/09 7:17] Pirate Russell: Most of all I want to reiterate, you have the RIGHT to enjoy yourself. and submissives have the RIGHT to wait for the right Dominant.
[2008/12/09 7:17] Pirate Russell: Ok... now the other side of the coin, so to speak.
[2008/12/09 7:17] Pirate Russell: The following is taken Dominant's Creed
[2008/12/09 7:17] Pirate Russell: Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.
[2008/12/09 7:18] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others.
[2008/12/09 7:18] Pirate Russell: In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
[2008/12/09 7:18] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
[2008/12/09 7:18] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me would never asks a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, or Rreal Life, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.
[2008/12/09 7:18] Pirate Russell: To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust.
[2008/12/09 7:19] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
[2008/12/09 7:19] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them.
[2008/12/09 7:19] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
[2008/12/09 7:20] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, respect and love
[2008/12/09 7:20] Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.
[2008/12/09 7:20] Pirate Russell: And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.
[2008/12/09 7:20] Pirate Russell: I'd like to wind up today's talk with the Seven Pillars of Dominance:
[2008/12/09 7:21] Pirate Russell: - A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:21] Pirate Russell: - A dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:21] Pirate Russell: - A dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:21] Pirate Russell: - A dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:22] Pirate Russell: - A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:22] Pirate Russell: - A dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:22] Pirate Russell: - A dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.
[2008/12/09 7:22] Pirate Russell: Quesitons and comments on these Rights & Responsibilities?
[2008/12/09 7:23] ***TD*** raises her paw
[2008/12/09 7:23] Pirate Russell: Yes, ***TD***?
[2008/12/09 7:24] ***TD***: in your time as a Dom have you come across any submissives who have not understood thier rights?
[2008/12/09 7:25] ***TD***: meaning they are living, breathing doormats...
[2008/12/09 7:25] Pirate Russell: Most, hun, that's why I took this job back in August! Most submissives thing they need to submit to EVERYone, I teach that they need to submit to the RIGHT one!
[2008/12/09 7:25] ***IM*** nods
[2008/12/09 7:25] ***TD*** nods with a purr
[2008/12/09 7:25] ***CF***: I've had some incidents with newbies who tried to master me around the moment they saw me.
[2008/12/09 7:25] ***TS*** nods in agreement
[2008/12/09 7:25] Pirate Russell: Most submissivies don't even know they HAVE them!
[2008/12/09 7:26] ***BT***: agrees
[2008/12/09 7:26] Pirate Russell: What I've taught My girls to say, is, "girl is a submissive but not YOUR submisive" and to remain respectful
[2008/12/09 7:26] ***TD***: do you train yours to know thier rights Miss Pirate?
[2008/12/09 7:26] ***BT***: Most needed is talk, like Sara and I
[2008/12/09 7:26] ***PM***: thats a very nice way to put it
[2008/12/09 7:27] Pirate Russell: ***IM***, do I?
[2008/12/09 7:27] ***TD*** smiles Thank you Miss Pirate
[2008/12/09 7:27] ***IM***: Yes, Mistress.
[2008/12/09 7:27] Pirate Russell: I train them that if they dont' know, understand and use them, they will be Mistress hunting!
[2008/12/09 7:28] ***TD*** eeps!!!
[2008/12/09 7:28] Pirate Russell: Bescause as hard as I try to aspire to those respinsibilities and pillers of Dominance, I FAIL, OFTEN!
[2008/12/09 7:29] Pirate Russell: So they need to remind Me on occasion, and as long as they do it respectfully, I have no quarrel with them!
[2008/12/09 7:29] ***TD***: W/we learn new things every day certainly?
[2008/12/09 7:30] Pirate Russell: I learn from My girls, and other subby friends MUCH MORE than from other Dominants!
[2008/12/09 7:30] ***BT***: Time is important, Sara and I was friends, lovers, and now hub and wife.
[2008/12/09 7:30] Pirate Russell: Yes, and anyone know what the best use of that time is?????
[2008/12/09 7:30] Pirate Russell: Comon, starts with...... C
[2008/12/09 7:30] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/12/09 7:30] ***sS***: communication
[2008/12/09 7:31] ***TS*** smiles
[2008/12/09 7:31] Pirate Russell: VERY GOOD, sara!
[2008/12/09 7:31] ***TD*** wiggles giggling
[2008/12/09 7:31] ***BT***: And we do
[2008/12/09 7:31] Pirate Russell: I have some new faces here today, so I'm gonna give up the dirty secret of online BDSM
[2008/12/09 7:31] Pirate Russell: subbies have ALL the power!
[2008/12/09 7:32] ***TD*** nods and purrs sadly
[2008/12/09 7:32] ***CF***: o.o!
[2008/12/09 7:32] Pirate Russell: If I just flat piss off ***IM***, she can take off the collar, mute Me, ban Me from her lands, file an abuse report with the Dreaded Lindens.... and NOTHING I can do to stop her!
[2008/12/09 7:32] ***PM***: A leash certainly has TWO ends, doesn't it?
[2008/12/09 7:32] Pirate Russell: WELL PUT, ***PM***!
[2008/12/09 7:33] Pirate Russell: But with that Communication, comes Trust, both ways!
[2008/12/09 7:33] ***IM*** nods
[2008/12/09 7:34] ***TD***: but with communication the likeliness of that occuring is low with trust
[2008/12/09 7:35] Pirate Russell: YEs ***TD***, it is, I know ***IM***'s limits, I know her likes and dislikes, aside from them, and she trusts Me to honor them, and she knows what I like, and expect, and I trust her to do her best as My submissive, too!
[2008/12/09 7:36] ***BT*** gave you Total Power Exchange - Sadako Shikami.
[2008/12/09 7:36] Pirate Russell: I also trust her to do what she 'wants' when I'm not around, and that she'll keep in with what I expect
[2008/12/09 7:37] ***TD***: it sounds like with you it is an ideal relationship with your girls in regards to communication and trust :)
[2008/12/09 7:38] Pirate Russell: I'd have it no other way!
[2008/12/09 7:38] ***TD*** purrs softly
[2008/12/09 7:38] ***IM***: It only gets rocky going when the communication breaks down for some reason or another, Miss ***TD***.
[2008/12/09 7:38] Pirate Russell: I've had "bad fits" with girls, aad it hurts to let them go, but it hurts worse to keep them!
[2008/12/09 7:39] ***BT***: Takes work from both sides
[2008/12/09 7:40] Pirate Russell: Yes, A D/s relationship, is just that, a relationship. And we all know from RL, Relationships take WORK and COMMUNICATION in both/every direction.
[2008/12/09 7:40] ***IM***: It's important to know the original rights and responsibilities, because they keep the doors open while building a relationship.
[2008/12/09 7:41] Pirate Russell: Careful there little one, you're getting this well enough to teach it!
[2008/12/09 7:41] ***PM***: I think this Trust issue is the cornerstone of any relationship, and tenfold in a D/s relationship. I can see ***TS*** and my respect for each other grows daily (I know Mine does) and that must come primarily from trust.
[2008/12/09 7:41] ***BT***: We have been talking about reversing the role play. do you agree?
[2008/12/09 7:41] ***TS*** smiles softly
[2008/12/09 7:41] ***MM***: i found myself just becoming a lover to my submissive, and altho i remained dominant, in a much more subtle fashion than it started out.
[2008/12/09 7:42] Pirate Russell: If y'all want, sure! none of My girls, except 1 are dominant in the least, and she would NEVER go for Domme-ing Me
[2008/12/09 7:42] ***sS***: to me and this is just what i've been taught / told is that a D/s relationship on any type needs communication to understand both persons feelings, it's an ongoing learning process on both sides
[2008/12/09 7:43] ***IM***: Every relationship is different, there is no wrong as long as no one is being abused.
[2008/12/09 7:43] Pirate Russell: yes sara, cuz in RL you're putting not only your emotional health in someone else's hands, but your PHYSICAL health as well, this MUST be negotiated
[2008/12/09 7:44] Pirate Russell: That's the other thing I used to theach, is that a Relationships are as different as those that are in them.
[2008/12/09 7:46] Pirate Russell: I used to say, "... as the 2 that are in them", but there are frequently MORE than 2 in any relationship!
[2008/12/09 7:46] ***TD*** nods in agreement
[2008/12/09 7:47] Pirate Russell: Heck, My grown stepson is part of hubby and My relationsihp, and he lives 8oo miles away!
[2008/12/09 7:47] ***TS***: Miss Pirate, would you say that in SL, Dom/mes are encouraged to take more than one sub?
[2008/12/09 7:47] Pirate Russell: Or, if I could swing it, I'd have ***IM*** here serving Us in RL... he he
[2008/12/09 7:47] ***IM*** nods
[2008/12/09 7:47] Pirate Russell: That depends, ***TS***.
[2008/12/09 7:47] ***TS***: I've heard this from several people before
[2008/12/09 7:48] Pirate Russell: I am polyamorus, I can love, and be in love with, several people at the same time.
[2008/12/09 7:48] Pirate Russell: So I can, and do have more than one girl
[2008/12/09 7:48] Pirate Russell: I also have friends that I romantically LOVE to death
[2008/12/09 7:48] Pirate Russell: So for Me it makes sense, and EVERY girl that's come into My family KNOWS they're not My only plaything
[2008/12/09 7:49] Pirate Russell: There are MANY others that cannot handle that lifestyle from one side or the other
[2008/12/09 7:49] ***MM***: the other thing about on line relations of any type is the anon nature of things. you really dont know the gender or nature of who you meet here.
[2008/12/09 7:50] Pirate Russell: I had a girl ask for release, and to come back she said I'd have to release most of My other girls.... well I said thanks, have a nice SL!
[2008/12/09 7:50] ***TD***: that would be where communication and trust building to come in?
[2008/12/09 7:50] Pirate Russell: Yes, that's true, as well, I have run across some "Good women" that had penises and peed standing up in RL
[2008/12/09 7:51] ***TS*** laughs, I know a few of them too
[2008/12/09 7:51] ***TS***: Make some of the more intresting "lady" friends
[2008/12/09 7:51] Pirate Russell: I even know of a couple that went the other way....
[2008/12/09 7:52] Pirate Russell: girl playing male avitars
[2008/12/09 7:52] ***CF***: They're not as rare as you'd think.... most of my gay friends turned out to be women in RL.
[2008/12/09 7:52] Pirate Russell: Didn't know of that dyanamic.... so wanting ot have sex with wormen made them bi? he he
[2008/12/09 7:53] ***CF***: mhm
[2008/12/09 7:54] ***CF***: Its just less known because its usually the men who gets their panties in a twist when they find out their girlfriend is another man
[2008/12/09 7:54] Pirate Russell: Actually, something I hadn't considered
[2008/12/09 7:54] Pirate Russell: he he
[2008/12/09 7:55] ***BT***: who's taking pictures
[2008/12/09 7:55] ***TD***: hm?
[2008/12/09 7:56] Pirate Russell: Any other comments, or questions?
[2008/12/09 7:56] ***CF***: >.>
[2008/12/09 7:56] ***CF***: <.<
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: Going once?
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: Going twice??
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: Going thrice!!!!!
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: Class Dismissed!
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: females undress and present yourselves to Me for inspection!
[2008/12/09 7:57] ***PM***: Pirate Thanks again.
[2008/12/09 7:57] Pirate Russell: He he
[2008/12/09 7:58] ***TS***: Thank you Miss Pirate. Wonderful class!
[2008/12/09 7:58] Pirate Russell: IT's My pleasure, ***PM***, ***TS***!
[2008/12/09 7:58] ***PM***: *Smiles on that one* ***TS***, you taking the kind Miss for a trip to Linda's?
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