[6:58] ***tY***: o I like those, sis
[6:58] ***RB***: smiles
[6:58] ***GF*** smiles
[6:58] ***CJ***: aren't they pretty? i won't tell you how much i paid for them...it's sinful lol
[6:58] ***tY***: looks askance.. no muffins?.. sighs.. and winks
[6:58] ***tY***: lol cj.. tell me anyway but in IM ;)
[6:59] ***tY***: prolly more than I spend on a whole outfit!..lol
[6:59] Zealot Benmergui shuffles through his notes, trying to remember how to spell Cunnelingus
[6:59] ***EU***: (rofl)
[6:59] ***tY***: with an "i:. Sir ;)
[6:59] ***RV***: lol
[7:00] ***GF*** grins
[7:00] ***tY***: (says she who is the worst typist in all of sl)
[7:00] Zealot Benmergui: As in, "It's just not cunnilingus without U and "?
[7:01] ***tY***: covers ears to protect the innocent.. not herself.. just the innocent
[7:01] Zealot Benmergui: Well.two U's, two Is...so a foresome then
[7:01] ***RV*** giggles
[7:01] Zealot Benmergui: and Ling...which sounds like it willbe some hot Hong Kong action...
[7:03] ***tY***: (is sorry daylight saving is over, it is now 1am instead of 12pm)
[7:03] Zealot Benmergui: Welcome everyone...remember today's doorprize...the person on the lucky poseball will get to pay Linden Labs twice as much for their void sim...
[7:03] ***tY***: haha
[7:03] ***CJ***: *laughs*
[7:03] ***EU*** groans loudly
[7:03] ***EU***: -laughs-
[7:03] ***AG***: wooHooo
[7:03] Zealot Benmergui: But as most of you seem to be Submissive...you'll like it
[7:03] ***EU***: Better pick me, i promise to moan the most!
[7:03] ***VT*** chuckles.
[7:04] ***EU***: :)
[7:04] Zealot Benmergui: OK, a couple more minutes to let a few stray little green dots come down, and then we will get started
[7:04] Zealot Benmergui: Dayum this is an attractive audience
[7:05] ***RV*** chuckles
[7:05] ***YS*** smiles.
[7:05] ***AG***: =))
[7:05] Zealot Benmergui: Even ***GG*** over there is hot
[7:05] ***RV***: lolol
[7:05] ***AG***: haha , yes he is !!
[7:05] ***AG***: lol
[7:05] ***GG***: hello Zealot
[7:06] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***PM*** and Miss Benoir..can you both hear me?
[7:06] Zealot Benmergui: or..read me, that is?
[7:06] ***PM***: Even me, the Dark Lilith?
[7:06] Zealot Benmergui: Even you...
[7:06] Zealot Benmergui: and Miss Benoir?
[7:06] ***CJ***: Sir, may i ask a question?
[7:07] ***GF***: greetings Everyone
[7:07] Zealot Benmergui: Yes, but even if you start with the questions, I stillhave to lecture.
[7:07] ***CJ***: what did you mean about being submissive and paying twice as much for an open sim?
[7:07] ***AG***: lol
[7:07] ***YS*** smiles at Gubkii.
[7:07] ***PM***: Greeting
[7:08] Zealot Benmergui: Bad joke onmy part..as for the true pricing, look at the LL Blog...but only AFTER the lecture
[7:08] ***AG***: ive seen it and its a load of crap !!
[7:08] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***VT***..can you read me?
[7:08] Zealot Benmergui: OK, no more about land prices..we got sex to discuss
[7:08] ***VT***: Loud and clearBaron.
[7:08] ***AG***: =))
[7:08] Zealot Benmergui: OK, then my chat range should be good...and we can begin
[7:09] Zealot Benmergui: Welcome A/all to the House of V’s College of Kink. My name is Zealot Benmergui, Baron BardHaven and I will be your host today. The topic for today is "What does he WANT from me?: Things Master Won't Tell You". We will be discussing common misconceptions about Dominants and Masters, the places where the two tend to misunderstand one another, and some of the little tricks and secrets that most Doms won’t talk about. Please note that for the purpose of clarity, I will tend to use “she” to refer to a submissive and “he” to refer to a Dominant, but either can be of any gender.
[7:10] Zealot Benmergui: Say the word D/s or BDSM Master around someone who is not involved in the lifestyle, and we tend to get a mixture of colorful reactions….especially if one of those present is your mother or your ex-husband. We all know the image that fills the mainstream consciousness. Leather clad Neanderthal with a control fetish and bad taste in cologne…and that is the most complimentary view. Or, they figure he is a misogynistic, abusive neo-pedophile, consumed by incest fantasies and a psychotic need to mask his secret homosexuality, bad breath and lack of penis size. After that, they get REALLY insulting.
[7:11] ***LL*** giggles
[7:11] Thrilme Benoir smiles to herself
[7:11] ***tY***: likes the leather clas part.. drools a little..
[7:11] Zealot Benmergui: It can be rough being a Dom sometimes...especially at tupperwear parties, or while watching Thelma and Louise
[7:11] ***GF***: good lord!
[7:11] ***EU***: (rofl)
[7:11] ***EU***: hehehe
[7:12] ***VT*** nibbles her lower lip and muffles a giggle.
[7:12] Zealot Benmergui: Of course, all that abuse is what the mainstream says in public or when the TV cameras are rolling…in truth, BDSM is becoming more and more accepted, especially as a bedroom flavor. More and more soccer moms secretly dream of broad-chested men with floggers and a strong need for a good woman who cooks Italian. More and more nice suburban husbands are finding their wives asking if they could be sort of spanked, in a way, almost…and whats more, they find they enjoy doing it. Not enough to wear a leather codpiece and listen to Whitesnake, but close.
[7:12] Thrilme Benoir: but the tupperwear feels so good
[7:12] ***YS*** laughs softly.
[7:12] Zealot Benmergui: Only the ones that seal..REALLY...TIGHT
[7:13] ***AP*** giggles..
[7:13] ***VT***: Rubbermaid?
[7:13] Zealot Benmergui trembles
[7:13] Zealot Benmergui: Good lord, both Harlequin and Mills and Boon, alongside their vanilla-scented romances featuring Dukes and Billionaires and Cowboys now sell BDSM based romances, in which stern Masters fall hopelessly in love with their helpless but spirited captives. Some of them make the Gor books look like a meeting of NOW…and they all revolve around handsome, sensitive but charmingly sadistic Masters. Sort of like The Marquis d'Sade as played by Tom Hanks.
[7:14] ***RV***: lmao
[7:14] ***AG***: =0
[7:14] ***EU***: -laughs-
[7:14] Zealot Benmergui: Go by the library, you can find them the sexy parts..those are the pages with the sort of grey edges from thumbs.
[7:14] ***AP***: or ebooks
[7:15] ***AP***: (leaves less mess!)
[7:15] Zealot Benmergui: Good lord...so many romance novels about falling in love with vampiric BDSM angels...
[7:15] Zealot Benmergui: But enough about my OWN sex life...
[7:16] ***tY***: <
[7:16] ***RV*** grins
[7:16] ***VM***: giggles
[7:16] Zealot Benmergui: I'll loan you a couple Miss ***tY***
[7:16] ***VT***: bodice-rippers are a prerequisite :D
[7:16] Zealot Benmergui: So who are these Masters, really? Sexually crippled monsters or darkly magnetic anti-heroes? Maybe both? Well, as always we must first cast away some of the misunderstandings that exist about Dominants. Contrary to popular belief, Dominants are not born, they are made. Sure, both the theory and practice of dominance, sexually and otherwise, has to suit someone and speak to their nature and talent, but despite what we tell you in bed, we don’t kick our way out of the womb with a true dominant’s nature and force of will. For one thing, the cloak and big spikey shoulderpads would make natural labor impossible. Very few of us make the babysitter hang about in nadu while we try to get blackwine in the damn sippycup…especially since the little cunt tends to fake her orgasms.
[7:17] ***tY***: smiles and wonders if she could get through the first chapter.. decides if it has pictures, then maybe..
[7:17] ***VM***: lol
[7:17] ***AP*** sniggers, blackwine in the damn sippycup !
[7:17] Zealot Benmergui: Just as we must remember that Doms are made, not born that way...we must also remember that not ALL Dominants are masters...they are two different things.
[7:18] Zealot Benmergui: Dominance is a state of mind and a personality trait....
[7:18] ***tY***: I think of dominants as type A personalities
[7:18] Zealot Benmergui: Being a Master is a choice, and a responsibility. A person may just be Dominant by nature, but we need to make a concious, informed choice to be a Master.
[7:19] ***GF***: to me your both
[7:19] ***GF***: oops
[7:19] Zealot Benmergui: We may try to explain at times of stress that "It's not my fault.,.she just automatically dropped to her knees..and gosh, her mouth was RIGHT THERE...but it doesn;t hold water most of the time
[7:20] Zealot Benmergui: *laughs....Lucky man, Miss ***GF***
[7:20] ***GF***: thank you Sir i rather consider myself the lucky one
[7:21] Zealot Benmergui: We all tend to use the terms Dom and master interchangably..but they aren;t. As anyone who has been with a Dominant man who was a poor master knows, they are a linked but different set of skills and sensitivities.
[7:22] Zealot Benmergui: That is one of those secrets Master's often try not to discuss..we all expect subs to assume it all just happens...without thought or effort...like we are just too manly so as not to command respect.
[7:23] ***OE***: hogwash.. and that statement so true
[7:23] Zealot Benmergui: Dominants are simply people that have developed that side of their natures due to predilection and circumstance…and therefore sometimes take up the duties of a Master. No different than a person who likes baseball finding time to take batting practice and seeking out other fans…and maybe actually joining a team . Of course, being a Yankees fan is something that we can be a little more open about. An A-Rod t-shirt on a casual Friday is one thing, a hat that says “I want to bind you to a broken bedframe and use your ass until you weep for release” is usually covered by sexual harassment rules.
[7:24] Zealot Benmergui: PLus you usually have to pay extra to have it screenprinted.
[7:24] ***AP***: groans
[7:25] ***EC***: i might be able to get you a job lot
[7:25] Zealot Benmergui: So how do we “learn” to be a Dom? Usually we do so through trial and error and self-education since surprisingly enough, Doms don’t tend to play well together. Get more than two in a room it can become a bit like a bad prison picture, with everyone trying to make shivs out of bedsprings and telling the others they are all his bitches. Therefore, we can’t really ask other Doms for advice about problems we are having with a certain girl, since odds are good that we will find them in bed with the problematic girl the next day trying to explain that “Hey man, it just happened..and wow, she says you are one CRAPPY Master”.
[7:25] ***AP*** giggles at Evies comment...and then catches up
[7:25] ***RB***: unfortunaly I have to go, rl is calling , you are a wonderful speaker, thank you
[7:26] Zealot Benmergui: People always say that subs can be backstabbing and competitive...but they don;t hold a candle to Doms.
[7:26] Zealot Benmergui: Of course, be well...next time tie RL tighter
[7:26] ***RB***: smiles
[7:26] ***VT***: they do if you ask right Zealot
[7:26] ***VM***: hehe
[7:26] Zealot Benmergui: The tendency to need to be self reliant is one of the factors which shapes the way master’s deal with Submissives and is one of those little tricks I mentioned earlier. If I can pick the most common complaint I hear from women seeking my advice about their Master, after “He wants to collar Brandi, and she is a conniving little bitch who wants to come between our perfect love and he just DOESN’T SEE IT”” is “Why won’t he talk to me more...share these things with me? The big dork…” By and large, he won’t talk to you about such things because 1) He is used to not sharing such troubles and doubts with anyone…and 2) He fears that doing so will somehow make him less Dominant and you less submissive.
[7:27] Zealot Benmergui: *grins...which explains why girls keep buying me flashpaper underwear, Miss ***VT***
[7:27] ***VT*** whistles innocently.
[7:28] ***GF***: giggles
[7:28] Zealot Benmergui: Dominants tend to suffer from being caught in a double bind....I have heard from so many women who IM me out of the blue that they are looking for a "Master that can handle them"...but then submissives also expect us to express the occasionaly uncertainty and honest emotion even if that may not seem to be the Dominant thing to do.
[7:29] Zealot Benmergui: BTW, my normal response to such myserious comments is "Then perhaps you had best superglue potrags to your ass"
[7:30] ***EC***: potrags?
[7:30] ***VT***: I thought that's what pigtails are for?
[7:30] ***AP***: what's flashpaper too? LOL
[7:30] ***EC***: flashpaper underwear?
[7:30] ***AP***: yeah?
[7:30] Zealot Benmergui: blinks
[7:30] Zealot Benmergui: ok...turns on the decoder briefly
[7:30] ***VT*** laughs.
[7:30] ***AP***: We need a lesson in Americanisms, i think, Sir :)
[7:30] ***EC***: can we join the UK branch?
[7:31] ***EU***: Potholders, Sir
[7:31] Zealot Benmergui: flashpaper...special effect paper soaked in chemicals so it burns very hot, very fast, very brightly
[7:31] Zealot Benmergui: potrags...white trash for potholders
[7:31] ***tY***: glad someone else asked about potrags and flashpaper too
[7:31] ***AP*** giggles...perhaps i should have listened in science, thank you Sir
[7:31] ***EC***: thank you so much Sir
[7:31] Zealot Benmergui: underwear - garments you wear under a skirt or other outer garment
[7:31] ***AP***: ha ha!
[7:32] ***GF*** grins
[7:32] ***EU*** giggles
[7:32] ***AP***: knickers!
[7:32] ***tY***: underwear, commonly called "budgie smugglers"
[7:32] ***AP***: LOL, so funny...
[7:32] ***CJ***: is that an Aussie term, te?? lol
[7:32] Zealot Benmergui: or "What you get whipped for wearing"
[7:32] ***tY***: laughs, yes, cj
[7:32] ***AP***: lucky budgie
[7:32] ***EC***: tweet tweet
[7:33] ***tY***: oo whipped for wearing undies.. seems hardly a punishmnet..
[7:33] ***AP*** nods
[7:33] ***AP***: i have six pairs on
[7:33] ***tY***: laughs
[7:33] Zealot Benmergui: I know what you are thinking now however, that stuff before about a double bind..that is a bout communication again, right? After all, at times the lines between Dominance and submission are very trivial, fragile things…in a long standing D/s relationship they can blur and seem to grow indistinct. Most Dominants avoid this by instinct, partially because we feel that submissives hate it. Sometimes that is true, since no one likes to feel that things are out of control…but often such a “We’re in this together” sentiment is welcomed by a sub, even needed to make them feel useful and privileged. In the same vein, often a Master needs to be reassured by his submissive that she is not judging him, or just waiting for him to show weakness or self-doubt so she can top the hell out of him from the bottom. Masters are not inherently more confidant then submissive in a relationship, we just hide out doubts and questions better.
[7:34] Zealot Benmergui: So what does a Master need in a situation where you feel there are things going on they are not sharing with you? Well, not tears or drama or scenes or threatening to pull hair, on the head or otherwise, of that other little slut.
[7:35] Zealot Benmergui: What they need os much the same things that a sub needs...a knowledge that they can be honest and direct about the issues that are troubling your relationship, or that matter to both of you. Confidence that even if they may not be sure what the right path is at the moment, it does not make them any less your Master,
[7:37] Zealot Benmergui: So what are the big secrets that Master's keep? The fact that master's are human, and deal with manyof the same issues and doubts and uncertainties that you do, even though often we have no one to guide us but ourselves...
[7:38] ***OE***: couldn't this be a slow burning fuse?
[7:38] Zealot Benmergui: That what we do takes thought, and effort and careful planning and consideration...that we can;t always do this by the seat of our pants..and that at the best of times, we need your help in order to take care of you, and give you what you need.
[7:39] Zealot Benmergui: Exactly Miss***OE***..which is what by and large Master's need, even if they can;t ask for it or don;t realise they need to.
[7:39] ***OE***: two way street with respect
[7:39] ***OE***: matter i the knowing and learning of eachother
[7:39] Zealot Benmergui: We need patience, and support..and the freedom to fail, and be wrong...we need to know, just as you do..that we are in this together. Being a Master is great at times, hell at others...and can actually become very lonely, no matter how many subs wear your collar.
[7:40] ***OE***: i=of
[7:41] Zealot Benmergui: Next time a problem feels to you like it insurmountable, realise it probably feels that way to him too...and maybe all you both need is the confidence that you will sort it out, together...sharing the resonsibility. That may not be what some subs are looking for...but it is what will serve them best in the end.
[7:41] Zealot Benmergui: And with that, I open the floor to questions, discussion, and erotic muffin baking
[7:42] ***tY***: throws an erotic muffin at cj
[7:42] ***CJ***: *grins and gobbles it down*
[7:42] ***tY***: haha
[7:42] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***tY*** is always the first in there with the dirty pastry
[7:42] ***AP*** quickly eats her erotic muffin
[7:42] ***tY***: it is my speciality, Sir.. chuckles
[7:43] ***VT***: Baron? What sort of qualities does a Master look for in a submissive and how does he choose whether or not to offer a collar?
[7:43] ***tY***: oh great question
[7:43] ***GF***: I think it's very intersting to look it from you point of view
[7:43] Zealot Benmergui: Well, lets consider this...how many of you have been in realtionships with a Dom that you feel melted down just because you feel he wasn;t sure how to save it?
[7:43] ***LL*** nods slowly
[7:43] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***VT***, it varies according to each Master, often from collar to collar.
[7:43] ***YS*** asks, "So the Master wants understanding when things are shaky, patience. But sometimes when a Master is on shaky ground, the sub is tumbling wildly..."
[7:44] ***AP*** nods
[7:44] Zealot Benmergui: To complete Miss ***VT*** question first...
[7:44] ***tY***: honest communication is the only thing that can solve those times
[7:44] ***tY***: (in my not so humble opinion)
[7:45] Zealot Benmergui: When to offer a collar is usually when it feels right to do so....and then, wait a few weeks to be sure
[7:45] Zealot Benmergui: and a good master will tell a woman what he needs from anoone he collars from the start...which is not easy at times
[7:46] Zealot Benmergui: most men have a few rules that they can use as a guide..and I suggest subs develop their own hard and fast rules as to what men they will allow to Dom them.
[7:46] ***AP*** agrees
[7:46] ***tY***: would you say that as a rule it is better to get to know each other for quite a while before a collar is offerred or accepted?
[7:46] ***VT***: Thank you Baron.
[7:46] Zealot Benmergui: as for the sub tumbling wildly...absolutely...but that is another secret.
[7:46] Zealot Benmergui: Often times the best way to get your feet back under you is to try and help someone else do so.
[7:47] Zealot Benmergui: We Doms often get through the hardest stuff by helping the lady first..and then realising that doing so helped us make sense of things for ourselves
[7:47] Zealot Benmergui: Remember the wisdom of airplane crashes
[7:47] ***OE***: *shurgs*
[7:48] ***AP*** frowns
[7:48] ***YS*** blinks slowly and smiles, She shakes her head.
[7:48] Zealot Benmergui: the stupid video always says that you "Put on your own Oxygen mask before assisting someone else"...we do that by instinct..and it really works.
[7:48] Zealot Benmergui: the need to help someone we care about really helps us get our ducks in a row..even if we don;t realise it
[7:49] ***YS***: So part of being the sub is to tumble and trust that the Master will catch you?
[7:49] ***OE***: no
[7:49] ***OE***: not on pupose
[7:50] Zealot Benmergui: We all tumble now and again....ideally a master and a sub catch one another
[7:50] ***EU***: But how do we, in a situation such as watching our Master flail, help him without making it seem like we are undermining his sense authority. If he doesn't feel he can aks anyone for help...?
[7:50] ***YS*** says, "Not on purpose, but when something happens. A situation that both Master and Sub are uncertain of."
[7:50] ***OE***: example Ember
[7:50] Zealot Benmergui: like the Flying Wallendas...one person has to have their arms out when the other leaves the trapeze..otherwise the tigers eat well tonight
[7:51] ***YS*** nods at Zealot, "Yes that would be a perfect response. But intially...it may not be possible."
[7:51] Zealot Benmergui listens to Miss***OE***
[7:51] ***EU***: I had situation recently where I was put into a situation I wasn't ready for...And while we did talk it out, it was obvious to me that he ended up as uncomfortable as I was
[7:52] ***EU***: (lol, lot's of situations)
[7:52] Zealot Benmergui: that is a different situation....and harder to work through or around.
[7:52] Zealot Benmergui: If a Master is continually pushing you furtehr then you can go at that time, then something is wrong and you both need to rethink, or find where the miscommunication is
[7:53] ***EU*** nods
[7:53] ***EU***: He did admit that he mis-judged afterwards
[7:53] Zealot Benmergui: Which is another part of helping yoru Master sort things out...
[7:53] ***tY***: Masters can get it wrong, just don't tell them that in a way that makes them feel less of a Master
[7:53] Zealot Benmergui: a sub needs to be able to say NO, something is wrong, this is giving me what I need...
[7:54] Zealot Benmergui: *is NOT giving...
[7:54] Zealot Benmergui: if you are honest and make clear it is a join issue, not just "his fault"...usually a good Master will stop and listen
[7:54] Zealot Benmergui: *joint
[7:55] ***tY***: I agree and being able to say no if it is not right.. is a sub's responsiblity
[7:55] Zealot Benmergui: If they won't hear you out, or respond by being ego-bruised..well then maybe that is the core of the problem right there
[7:55] ***CB***: it's hard for me to say "no" so I usually run away
[7:56] Zealot Benmergui: I understand Miss Bellic...it is a common response...but doesn;t do you or the man much good...
[7:56] ***OE***: as Masters, subs need thick skine Clara
[7:56] Zealot Benmergui: We need at times to be told NO
[7:56] Zealot Benmergui: it;'s good for us
[7:56] Zealot Benmergui: builds stong bones and teeth
[7:56] ***CB***: I know
[7:56] ***AP*** nods at the ego bruised line...
[7:56] ***EU***: lol, sub doesn't equal doormat
[7:57] Zealot Benmergui: One of the ways I need a woman to help me in a relationship is to tell me when I am going in a direction they don;t wish or need, or if they are unhappy...
[7:57] ***tY***: there seems to be this misperception that submissives should just put up with things even if it makes them unhappy or uncomfortable.. I don't know where they came from, but it is a dangerous assumption to make
[7:57] ***tY***: *that.. not they
[7:57] Zealot Benmergui: it drives me insane when a woman expects me to be clairvoyant allthe time..or the always hated "If he can;t feel it, i am not going to tell him....he should just KNOW"
[7:58] ***OE***: childish
[7:58] ***CB***: i never do things i don't like, simply go away
[7:58] Zealot Benmergui: But then you end up jettisoning the good with the bad
[7:59] Zealot Benmergui: rather then trying to build upon the good parts...assuming there are good parts
[7:59] ***CB***: i know it's very inmature but it's very hard to change
[7:59] ***AP***: yes, there is that, we know we ar not doormats, but sometimes it can be hard to say no, when you are there to please your Master - it's not always so clear cut
[7:59] Zealot Benmergui: nods..I understand
[7:59] ***CB***: and i know i am not alone in this
[7:59] ***EU*** nods
[8:00] ***YS*** nods at Angelika.
[8:00] Zealot Benmergui: absolutely not...it is a common problem
[8:00] Zealot Benmergui: master's help to foster it
[8:00] Zealot Benmergui: making a fuss over a woman saying "All I want is to please master"
[8:00] Zealot Benmergui: Thanks, but that's what i have coffee for
[8:00] ***AP*** giggles
[8:01] ***VT*** raises a brow.
[8:01] ***EU***: It's the desire to please warring with our ...self preservation (?) instincts, for want of a better phrase
[8:01] ***tY***: agrees with ember
[8:01] ***AP***: yes, exactly
[8:01] Zealot Benmergui: ideally, in the best circumstance, they should be one and the same
[8:01] ***LL*** looks at the clock, realizes she has to leave: Thank You Sir, it was very interesting
[8:01] ***CB***: i feel if i say no i'm not enough good to that man
[8:02] Zealot Benmergui: if you really think it through and conclude...It will please my maaster despite the fact that it makes me feel like hell and I cry every night..." then you need to rethink some things
[8:02] ***tY***: agrees
[8:02] ***EU*** nods
[8:03] Zealot Benmergui: Miss Bellic...does you masater always lie to you, and think he is more or less worthless?
[8:03] ***OE***: just be true to yourself before you can be true to another.. good motto learn first
[8:03] ***AA***: I need to run. thank you for your time.
[8:03] ***CB***: yes sometimes
[8:03] Zealot Benmergui: if he does not always lie, and does not feel he is worthless..then why would he want you if you were "not good enough" for him...trust his faith and desire for you
[8:04] ***CB***: i think you are right
[8:04] Zealot Benmergui: He wishes you for a reason...
[8:04] Zealot Benmergui: If he wants you just because you were the cloet thing at hand with the right number of orifices..then you don;t want him
[8:04] Zealot Benmergui: *closest
[8:05] Zealot Benmergui: Masters want. even need feedback,...even when we don;t realize it
[8:05] ***EU*** mutters something about wanna-be masters
[8:05] Zealot Benmergui: It is part of how we learn, how we grow...
[8:06] ***tY***: doesn't some of these problems stem fro people entering a relationhsip.. (being collared) before they actually know the wants and needs of each other?
[8:06] Zealot Benmergui: and maybe, if telling him the truth makes him send you away...you are better off, and just did a service for the next girl down the line, who might find him a littler wiser then you did
[8:06] ***OE***: yes
[8:06] Zealot Benmergui: Absolutely...
[8:07] Zealot Benmergui: Piecrust collars are always the norm..easily made, easily broken
[8:07] ***CB***: yes
[8:07] Zealot Benmergui: If all the women who feel they need a collar to cyber assumed they needed a weeding ring to fuck, we would all live in vegas
[8:08] ***tY***: if people thought of a collaring like a marriage.. it might slow them down a bit.. but then, maybe not..lol
[8:08] Zealot Benmergui: and again, it is also the fault of masters
[8:08] ***tY***: (oh, almost great minds)
[8:08] Zealot Benmergui: we like to collect
[8:08] ***VT***: Most of the time they're velcro.
[8:08] ***OE***: it more precious and binding then a ring.
[8:09] Zealot Benmergui: we figure..oh wow, she is hot, we just cybered pretty well..and damn it, she is available..I better collar her
[8:09] ***CB***: masters like to collect, it's true
[8:09] ***RV***: some Master
[8:09] ***RV***: *Masters
[8:09] ***tY***: so, Masters are selfish?..
[8:09] Zealot Benmergui: before we know about the fact her name is actually Rufus and she can only be online between 2 and 4 when he can use the prison computer room
[8:09] ***OE***: then that last statement boarding *whore*
[8:09] VictoriaRose Amat: LMAO
[8:09] ***OE***: the Master the pimp
[8:10] Zealot Benmergui: Damn right we are Miss ***tY***
[8:10] ***EU***: lol, then wonder why the other's get upset when their Master has no time for them
[8:10] ***OE***: truth, look at it
[8:10] ***CJ***: *laughs at tee perking up at the word "selfish"*
[8:10] ***tY***: smile, I always admire an honest man
[8:10] ***tY***: giggles as she knew cj would wake for that one ;)
[8:10] Zealot Benmergui: We want ALL THE DAMN WOMEN
[8:10] ***RV***: lol
[8:10] Zealot Benmergui: wisdom controls us...eventually
[8:11] Zealot Benmergui: and otherwise
[8:11] ***tY***: well reality should creep in somewhere, afterall, you only have one cock..
[8:11] Zealot Benmergui: I like to work from the Goose/Gander rule
[8:11] Zealot Benmergui: and spread the sauce around
[8:11] Zealot Benmergui: If I have no intention of confining my amorous adventures...I certainly won;t expect her to
[8:11] ***OE***: good way of stating that
[8:12] Zealot Benmergui: Actually miss ***tY***, I have four..but one is for a dragon
[8:12] Zealot Benmergui: pointy
[8:12] ***EU***: *blinks*
[8:12] ***RV***: rofl
[8:13] ***tY***: oh, I see, I thought we were talking about real sex, my mistake
[8:13] Zealot Benmergui: Every master is a closet homosexual...we need our cock to match our outfit
[8:13] ***OE***: *snorts*
[8:14] Zealot Benmergui: in RL, we still have the urge Miss ***tY***..but it is much more easily curtailed
[8:14] Zealot Benmergui: disease, cost and lackof viagra all play a part
[8:14] ***OE***: ..and believe me .. real life is NOT sl
[8:15] ***OE***: no game no escape goat
[8:15] ***RV***: not to mention the fact that in rl most people don't have profiles you can read that say "i wanna fuk"
[8:15] Zealot Benmergui: no, instead we get tattoos
[8:15] ***VT*** smiles.
[8:15] ***OE***: look at my first life.. most certainly does
[8:16] ***tY***: ooooooo ladies day at HOV
[8:16] Zealot Benmergui: Once again, it seems that much of what I have to say boils down to a question of communication
[8:16] ***tY***: sorry , just saw the message
[8:17] ***tY***: agrees with Sir Zealot
[8:17] ***GF*** nods
[8:17] Zealot Benmergui: with it, everything becomes better
[8:17] Zealot Benmergui: without it, you are in a great deal of trouble
[8:17] Zealot Benmergui: like being on the Titanic after someone gives you a necklace
[8:17] Zealot Benmergui: DON'T DO IT
[8:18] ***OE***: we speak much of red flags as submissive.. what about the Dominant
[8:18] Zealot Benmergui: define, Miss***OE***?
[8:19] ***OE***: gut feelings .. instints.. ect.. how often will the Dominant follow His own?
[8:19] Zealot Benmergui: at least to a degree, quite often
[8:19] Zealot Benmergui: but I usually try to temper that with time
[8:20] ***OE***: why is this? to temper in time?
[8:20] Zealot Benmergui: if you want to know if a connection is real..wait a day or two and then IM them again
[8:20] ***OE***: for a submissive..its either yah or nay NOW
[8:21] Zealot Benmergui: I know I can be swayed by a good line and a pretty face...so I like to put brakes on and come back later
[8:21] ***OE***: best way
[8:21] Zealot Benmergui: indeed Miss***OE***...and that itself is a worry
[8:22] Zealot Benmergui: if a Master IMs and says "I REALLY like you, I want to form a long lasting relationship with you, but dfammit bitch I need to fuck you NOW..NOWNWONWONOW
[8:22] Zealot Benmergui: then part of that stament may not be totally sincere
[8:22] ***OE***: that when i just hit back
[8:22] ***AP*** giggles---and wonders which part
[8:22] ***VT***: The really part... the rest is true.
[8:22] ***VT*** nods sagely.
[8:23] Zealot Benmergui: If there is a spark...it will still be there in a day or two...if it isn;t...then it wasn;t real to begin with
[8:23] Zealot Benmergui: that is true for both Dom and sub
[8:23] ***VT***: Chemistry is chemistry.
[8:23] ***OE***: courtship rules should alway apply
[8:24] ***tY***: thanks for Sir Zealot for his talk, and heads off to bed, late here, 2:30am
[8:24] ***AP*** nods...oh dear back to science class again
[8:24] Zealot Benmergui: it is just a good safety measure
[8:24] ***OE***: my opinion from experience in game as well as real life
[8:24] ***VT***: either that, or it's a one-night stand.
[8:24] ***AP***: exactly, Vahalia
[8:24] Zealot Benmergui: sleep well Miss ***tY***...as always you are a great asset toi the discussion
[8:24] ***OE***: you don't go out on one date and bam married
[8:24] ***OE***: need to be realistic in my view
[8:25] Zealot Benmergui: unless your name is Brittany
[8:25] Zealot Benmergui: and then, your birth control is called ANNUL
[8:25] ***VT***: I thought that was a new eau de toilet?
[8:25] ***OE***: Brittany struts down a very long road of loneliness too
[8:26] ***RV***: i don't know ... it's not always bad to start with sex, especially if that's all you intend it to be. that's how my Master and i started, but things changed, and now we've been together more than 2 years
[8:26] Zealot Benmergui: If you BOTH intend it
[8:26] Zealot Benmergui: and often, yes, that changes after a time
[8:26] ***RV***: yes
[8:26] Zealot Benmergui: the troubel comes when she wants to get fucked and he wants to find a life long exclusive sub...or vice versa
[8:27] ***RV***: nods
[8:27] Zealot Benmergui: day two, he wants to discuss limits and rules,,,she wants to find a new guy to fuck
[8:27] ***CB***: my case
[8:28] ***OE***: in that serniero then stock in batteries are in order
[8:28] Zealot Benmergui: a relationship that is all about sex is great...I have had quite a few...but both sides need to be there for the same reason
[8:28] Zealot Benmergui: Yess Miss Bellic?
[8:29] ***CB***: day two
[8:29] ***AP***: But it neednt all be about sex, but can just start with it, and work out, if both within the relationship are lucky enough to want the same thing...
[8:29] ***RV***: yes, exactly
[8:29] Zealot Benmergui: nod...I understand Miss Bellic...it can be very very difficult
[8:29] ***YS*** nods.
[8:29] ***AP*** prods Rowan in the back, and whispers "Lucky you!"
[8:29] Zealot Benmergui: to make an omelette, you need to strangle a lot of chickens
[8:30] ***RV***: lol Angelika
[8:30] ***VT***: Where did you learn to cook?
[8:30] ***YS*** hmms, "You do not have to strangle a chicken for an egg." she laughs.
[8:30] Zealot Benmergui: Attica
[8:30] ***EU***: ROFL
[8:30] ***AP***: obviously a school for sadists
[8:30] ***VT*** laughs.
[8:32] Zealot Benmergui: As we bring things to a conclusion...I remind you next Monday, same time I will be lecturing again
[8:32] Zealot Benmergui: that topic will be "What the hell is WRONG with her?": Things your sub won't tell you"
[8:32] ***OE***: to want that special omelette, then you need to find that one special chicken for that special omelette, hence: strangling a lot of chickens
[8:32] ***YS*** chuckles.
[8:33] ***AP*** smiles, oooh goodie :)
[8:33] ***EC***: I prefer the cockrel
[8:33] Zealot Benmergui: later this week, be sure to attend thelectures by Pirate and Payne as well
[8:33] ***YS***: But you see, chickens give eggs without strangling.
[8:33] ***OE***: only need that to have baby chickadies
[8:33] Zealot Benmergui: if you are lucky, Pirate may lecture nude again this week
[8:33] ***OE***: lol
[8:33] Zealot Benmergui: ask her nicely
[8:33] ***AP*** elbows Evie in the ribs...and laughs at her COCK joke
[8:34] ***AP***: nude? Oh i missed that! LOL or is that just to get us to come along?
[8:34] ***EU***: Thank You, Sir for the talk.
[8:34] Zealot Benmergui: nope...ask anyone who was there
[8:34] ***RV***: Thank you Z for a wonderful lecture, as usual.
[8:34] ***EU*** smiles...Thank you for the lecture Sir, you've given much food for thought
[8:34] Zealot Benmergui: she is defeinetly a natural redhead
[8:34] ***YS*** says, "Thnak you Lord Zealot."
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