The Sisterhood of the Tired Master: Life on the Chain Gang - 11/17/08

[2008/11/17 7:06] Zealot Benmergui: Welcome A/all to the House of V's College of Kink. My name is Zealot Benmergui, Baron BardHaven and I will be your host today. The topic for today is "The Sisterhood of the Tired Master: Life on the Chain Gang". We will be discussing the ideas and emotions behind D/s "Families" and coping tips for life online when multiple subs share one Master as sisters, both for subs and Masters. Please note that for the purpose of clarity, I will tend to use "she" to refer to a submissive and "he" to refer to a Dominant, but either can be of any gender. You humble lecturer WILL accept tips, but they must be paid to me directly, if you are so inclined, thank you.
[2008/11/17 7:06] Zealot Benmergui: I hear an awful lot about the state of Online D/s as I switch from hang out to hangout. From V to DeVille's to Bound to Dark Bliss...everyone wants a word with me these days. However, I don't get to hear the hot stuff, I mainly get the complaints. I get complaints in IMs from people seeking advice, absolution, or just someone to vent to. I hear about the ups and downs of D/s relationships all over the grid, from friends and lovers and strangers alike. I welcome all this, because for one thing, it makes me feel like less of a parasite and secondly, the extortion possibilities go on forever. I'm like an improbably well hung Ann Landers, only I dress better.
[2008/11/17 7:07] Zealot Benmergui: Plus I have better hair.
[2008/11/17 7:07] ***MM*** laughs
[2008/11/17 7:07] ***RV*** laughs
[2008/11/17 7:07] Zealot Benmergui: So what are all of these complaints about? Well, beyond the normal online D/s complaints such as “My submissive smells funny” and “Vista crashes when I orgasm”. I hear a lot about multisub households. How to create them, how to manage them, how to live with them, how to get out of them, how to drive someone ELSE out of them, how to block them…they always seem to be a hot topic. They are also a very THORNY topic..and not the good kind.
[2008/11/17 7:07] ***CD*** giggles
[2008/11/17 7:07] ***VM***: hehe
[2008/11/17 7:08] Zealot Benmergui: For those few of you who have no idea what I am talking about, a slave chain or multisub family is when a single Dominant has several woman collared, who are generally expected to all get along, much like sisters...complete with snuggling and pillowfights. Sometimes a Master and Mistress/Switch will be a couple, and have a harem full of "daughters". Keep in mind a slave chain is not simply having multiple relationships or "tomcatting about"..it is about having all of your relationships be involved with one another as well, living as a communal group and/or portable orgy.
[2008/11/17 7:08] Zealot Benmergui: Oh, did I mention hot sister on sister action is more or less a requirement?
[2008/11/17 7:08] ***MM***: mmm orgy
[2008/11/17 7:08] ***CD***: Fab!
[2008/11/17 7:09] Zealot Benmergui: Now, I must state as a disclaimer that in a different Virtual World, I once had a family of 15 submissives
[2008/11/17 7:09] ***CD***: o.o
[2008/11/17 7:09] ***qB***: busy man
[2008/11/17 7:09] ***VM***: WOW
[2008/11/17 7:09] ***GM***'s eyebrows go up
[2008/11/17 7:09] Zealot Benmergui: The experience drove me off line for nearly a year and I still have nightmares of a solid screen of IM's all saying MASSSTTERRRR WHEREREEEE ARE YOUUUUU
[2008/11/17 7:09] ***MM***: lol
[2008/11/17 7:10] ***FR***: ~laughs~
[2008/11/17 7:10] Zealot Benmergui: So while I may be a bit sarcastic about slave chains, I know of what I speak, good or bad.
[2008/11/17 7:10] Zealot Benmergui: The image of the Gorean master and his Chain of subs calling one another sissy is a SL stereotype. For better or worse, Lord Puckthruster Scatterpus, Second Warden of Slish and his 5 happy slaves, Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph are now part of conventional wisdom online. They are part and parcel of the BDSM Zeitgeist. However, do such situations really work, if so, what are the benefits, and dangers of such a harem?
[2008/11/17 7:10] ***MM***: ROFL
[2008/11/17 7:11] ***qB***: i don,t think they work
[2008/11/17 7:11] ***MM*** imagines them all fighting over who will be Rudolph
[2008/11/17 7:11] ***qB***: giggles
[2008/11/17 7:11] ***GM***: lol, red nosing instead of brown
[2008/11/17 7:11] Zealot Benmergui: Master chooses which of his sweet little sltugirls gets the red nose...
[2008/11/17 7:11] Zealot Benmergui: A thing to remember is that it is a style of BDSM that few people are neutral about. If you are part of the online lifestyle, it sometimes seems like you either love D/s Families, or hate them. Very few people can take or leave them. Some people seem to be well suited to that sort of togetherness, while others get jealous and grumpy just thinking about it. Bringing up the idea of a slave chain can make a room full of subs grumpier, faster, then mentioning that a true submissive NEVER has PMS. In short, it can be explosive and should be handled very carefully.
[2008/11/17 7:12] ***qB***: but when he is not at home
[2008/11/17 7:12] ***CD***: I am one of 4 slaves that belong to mistress Tasha, and we all get along ^^
[2008/11/17 7:12] Zealot Benmergui: Last one standing, Miss ***qB***..last one standing
[2008/11/17 7:12] Zealot Benmergui: *nods to Miss ***CD***...It can be made to work, which we will get to
[2008/11/17 7:13] ***CD***: ^^
[2008/11/17 7:13] Zealot Benmergui: Why try a Multisub family at all? Simple, because when it works and is done right, it is a very comforting, warm sort of environment in which to practice D/s. Very supporting, always feeling that you can love and be loved freely within the family group. It is all that is best in a pack or herd mentality in terms of a sense of security and belonging. Like a Boarding school for care-bears, but with more sex…and usually more drama, unless of course Hugs-a-Lot Bear was bipolar with a martyr complex and the studio PR hushed it all up.
[2008/11/17 7:13] ***GM*** snickers
[2008/11/17 7:14] Zealot Benmergui: So once you have decided that you wish to collar a bunch of women who will all be part of a family, or you and your slave have decided to do this, what next? How can you do it properly, since we all know what happens when such a thing is put together improperly...a few days of peace, or at least people holding their tongues, then a massive swirling cloud of radioactive drama melting the sanity and libido of everyone it comes in contact with.
[2008/11/17 7:15] Zealot Benmergui: To make a multisub family work, there are certain things to be aware of and certain of...first, that all the women involved really like one another
[2008/11/17 7:15] ***CD***: Yes very true, they need to all like each other.
[2008/11/17 7:15] Zealot Benmergui: If evenone of the slaves brings in the wrong attitude, disaster will follow very quickly
[2008/11/17 7:16] ***CD***: And in a sense share many of the same values like freinds
[2008/11/17 7:16] ***UN***: Which would seem impossible unless the girls already knew and liked each other previously.
[2008/11/17 7:16] Zealot Benmergui: Second, there must be very clear rules and limits set down to protect that harmony
[2008/11/17 7:16] Zealot Benmergui: It depends ***UN***..we live in a closed community...most subs know at least of one another...but there are other ways which I will discuss soon.
[2008/11/17 7:16] ***UN*** nods
[2008/11/17 7:17] Zealot Benmergui: Rules need to be set down in anticipation of friction, so that when people do quarrel, the group knows what to do
[2008/11/17 7:18] Zealot Benmergui: These of course are different for each family, but they MUST be applied consistently
[2008/11/17 7:18] Zealot Benmergui: If slave A gets away with something slave B was punished for the week before...bad things happen
[2008/11/17 7:18] ***UN*** shudders at the thought
[2008/11/17 7:18] Zealot Benmergui: Total Protonic reversal..bad, ver bad
[2008/11/17 7:19] Zealot Benmergui: The Master must be willing to do a great deal of work and be very very realistic about the time and emotionhe has to spare on his family
[2008/11/17 7:20] Zealot Benmergui: since he has to be sure that all the women feel that they had their time...often times people will be willing to share, but not to gfive up all that they feel they deserve to someone els
[2008/11/17 7:20] Zealot Benmergui: so you need to make sure your pie gets sliced into 4 slives, one for each woman...not half to one, and the others make do..unless you have a preset peirarchy\
[2008/11/17 7:21] Zealot Benmergui: *Heirarchy
[2008/11/17 7:21] ***qB***: true
[2008/11/17 7:21] Zealot Benmergui: and if you do, be CONSISTANT about it
[2008/11/17 7:21] ***qB***: and that is mostly the problem
[2008/11/17 7:21] Zealot Benmergui: beyond making sure there is amity, and rules..you need to be sure that there is....communication
[2008/11/17 7:22] Zealot Benmergui: it is essential that everything is talked out, and everyone involved knows what is going on
[2008/11/17 7:22] Zealot Benmergui: secrest are anathema to such a situation, since not only do they disrupt the consistency, but face it...subs talk.
[2008/11/17 7:23] Zealot Benmergui: You can;t tell one in confidence something that the others won;t know soon enough, and then be pissed that they didn;t hear it from Master
[2008/11/17 7:23] Zealot Benmergui: Therefore openness is essential, from start to finish.
[2008/11/17 7:23] Zealot Benmergui: Now, how do you achieve these three goals?
[2008/11/17 7:23] ***UN***: as in all good relationships.
[2008/11/17 7:24] ***qB***: but where do you find that i never did
[2008/11/17 7:24] Zealot Benmergui: There are thousands of different techniques...some master's hold weekly councils...where everyone just speak as equals about the situation.
[2008/11/17 7:24] ***AK*** grins
[2008/11/17 7:24] Zealot Benmergui: Some Master's create an elaborate role play around the family, so everyone knopws their role in the game, and therefore in the family.
[2008/11/17 7:25] Zealot Benmergui: Any sort of strategy that ensurers that everyone stays friendly, involved, and open will go a great distence towards making this situation work...
[2008/11/17 7:26] Zealot Benmergui: However, the fact is, most submissive families fail....why?
[2008/11/17 7:26] ***AK***: Jealousy
[2008/11/17 7:26] ***CD***: Yes
[2008/11/17 7:26] ***qB***: yes
[2008/11/17 7:26] ***CD***: Jealousy
[2008/11/17 7:27] Zealot Benmergui: To a great degree, yes
[2008/11/17 7:27] ***GM*** nods
[2008/11/17 7:27] Zealot Benmergui: Human nature.
[2008/11/17 7:27] ***AK***: If we was born to be poly society would have encouraged it.
[2008/11/17 7:27] Zealot Benmergui: Even those who are involved in multiple relationships can have trouble with sharing with someone else, when that someone else is right in front of your face.
[2008/11/17 7:27] ***AK***: its a taboo to our upbringing
[2008/11/17 7:28] ***qB***: no not a taboo
[2008/11/17 7:28] ***qB***: not for me
[2008/11/17 7:28] Zealot Benmergui: That depends ***AK***...and thereinwe are wandering into biological patterning
[2008/11/17 7:28] ***UN***: This situation is nearly immanagable... human hearts cannot long last in such complexity, i don't believe
[2008/11/17 7:28] Zealot Benmergui: It depends on the hearts involved, and the way things are handled ***UN***...it is difficult, but dooable
[2008/11/17 7:29] ***FR***: Lack of communication, non defined roles, Masters not having enough time for all of those He has in His keeep.. and.... when Master is not around, the others have no desire to interact, then put on a show when He is about that things are wonderful and all are just snuggling up while He's away.
[2008/11/17 7:29] ***qB***: i know i can love more persons at once
[2008/11/17 7:29] ***UN*** nods
[2008/11/17 7:29] Zealot Benmergui: mainly because the one male, multiple females paradigm is found in most of nature
[2008/11/17 7:29] ***CD***: It relies on Understanding and trust
[2008/11/17 7:29] Zealot Benmergui: even our close cousins the chimps
[2008/11/17 7:29] ***UN*** nods again
[2008/11/17 7:30] ***MM***: I think often people try to convince themselves they can do it for someone they like...when in fact it's not the right thing for them
[2008/11/17 7:30] Zealot Benmergui: it is true that human society goes against it, which is why we have so much trouble with Ply now..but if left to our own biological urges, one man with many women is the normal situation
[2008/11/17 7:30] Zealot Benmergui: *nods...That is true Mali, and is part of honeymoonitis
[2008/11/17 7:31] Zealot Benmergui: at the start of a relationship, if your beloved tells you to wear a tea cozy on you rhead, you propbably will..and like it
[2008/11/17 7:31] ***qB***: smiles
[2008/11/17 7:31] ***UN*** grins
[2008/11/17 7:31] ***MM*** grins
[2008/11/17 7:31] Zealot Benmergui: or at least tell yourself you are will to be called teapot head...because it makes them happy
[2008/11/17 7:31] Zealot Benmergui: in rl, that fades in a few months
[2008/11/17 7:31] Zealot Benmergui: online....40 to 50 seconds
[2008/11/17 7:31] ***UN*** snickers
[2008/11/17 7:32] ***qB***: laughs out loud
[2008/11/17 7:32] Zealot Benmergui: LOTS AND LOTS of subs will agree, just to get that collar that they longed for...then realize they didn;t sign on to take a number
[2008/11/17 7:32] ***GM***: *everything* moves faster in SL
[2008/11/17 7:32] ***qB***: i be very carefull with my next choise
[2008/11/17 7:32] Zealot Benmergui: and if the master can;t manage to make them all feel satisfied, inevitably, the jockeying for position begins
[2008/11/17 7:33] Zealot Benmergui: this is where the friends aspect comes in...
[2008/11/17 7:33] Zealot Benmergui: if they like one another, hopefully the knives won;t come out...
[2008/11/17 7:33] Zealot Benmergui: ***UN*** asked earlier, what do you do if they AREN'T all friends in advance?
[2008/11/17 7:33] ***MM***: drink alot
[2008/11/17 7:33] Zealot Benmergui: in those cases, you use a trial period....
[2008/11/17 7:33] ***CD***: Do some team building ^^
[2008/11/17 7:33] ***qB***: i had a situation like that i did not know the other sub and she did not know me
[2008/11/17 7:33] Zealot Benmergui: give somone new a week, or a month
[2008/11/17 7:34] Zealot Benmergui: and then, have ALL the family vote on if they stay or go
[2008/11/17 7:34] ***UN***: whoa.
[2008/11/17 7:34] Zealot Benmergui: if in a couple weeks it isn;t working, 9 times out of 10 they will opt out on their own
[2008/11/17 7:34] ***UN*** an see htat
[2008/11/17 7:34] ***AK***: the Big Brother technique
[2008/11/17 7:34] ***UN***: *that
[2008/11/17 7:34] ***CD***: We go on shopping trips together ^^
[2008/11/17 7:35] Zealot Benmergui: I would venture to say, as in Miss ***CD***'s situation, the relationships between the sisters is more important then their ties to Master
[2008/11/17 7:35] ***CD***: Not at all, we are told to work together to please, and are shown appropriate attention.not able to change it.
[2008/11/17 7:36] Zealot Benmergui: As is so often the case in D/s...what seems to be all about the Dominant, is really driven by the subs
[2008/11/17 7:36] ***CD***: Well you cant dom without your subs I guess ^^
[2008/11/17 7:36] Zealot Benmergui: Of course..but as long as the women have a sense of togetherness, of belonging together, everything goes more smoothly
[2008/11/17 7:37] ***CD***: Indeed
[2008/11/17 7:37] Zealot Benmergui: *smiles at Miss ***CD***...You can, but that is anotehr lecture
[2008/11/17 7:37] ***CD*** smiles back
[2008/11/17 7:37] Zealot Benmergui: We have discussed what a D/s family is, and how to try to make one work, against the odds..what do we do when one falls apart?
[2008/11/17 7:37] ***UN***: RUN.
[2008/11/17 7:38] ***UN***: (kidding)
[2008/11/17 7:38] ***CD***: Cry :(
[2008/11/17 7:38] Zealot Benmergui: actually..running is not a bad choice
[2008/11/17 7:38] ***qB***: move on with your life
[2008/11/17 7:38] Zealot Benmergui: often theonly way to salvage anything from a total meltdown is to give everyone a time out
[2008/11/17 7:38] ***CD***: especially with a digital realm, its not worth losing sleep over unfortunately.
[2008/11/17 7:39] Zealot Benmergui: don;t try to remain in two or threes or little cliques...have everyone step away, and get used to being on their own again...
[2008/11/17 7:39] ***GM***: let yourself mourn properly before throwing yourself into another one
[2008/11/17 7:39] ***CD***: I agree
[2008/11/17 7:39] ***qB***: yes true
[2008/11/17 7:39] Zealot Benmergui: the WORST thing is when a family like that disolves into master with the girl who won the struggle, and all the other subs on their own, calling him a fucking prick in voice chat
[2008/11/17 7:40] ***CD***: The the master needs to be consistant again and drive them all back for fairness sake?
[2008/11/17 7:40] Zealot Benmergui: There is no way to be sure noone gets hurt in any breakup, least of all one as high pressure as a family situation...but you can do your best to limit the fallout
[2008/11/17 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: I would say that yes, in that situation, a dominant should break it off with allthe women involved, at least to begin with.
[2008/11/17 7:41] ***CD***: Yes I see
[2008/11/17 7:41] ***CD***: It followes the consistancy idea
[2008/11/17 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: Otherwise, you are just prolonging the pain for most of them
[2008/11/17 7:42] Zealot Benmergui: IT boils down to this..if you collared them, you have a responsibility to ALL of them equally.
[2008/11/17 7:42] ***CD***: Agreed completely
[2008/11/17 7:42] Zealot Benmergui: If the situation breaks down, then it needs to do so EQUALLY
[2008/11/17 7:42] ***qB***: yes very true
[2008/11/17 7:42] Zealot Benmergui: That is why it is such a difficult form of D/s relationship
[2008/11/17 7:43] ***CD***: the D's responsibility double for each new sub
[2008/11/17 7:43] ***CD***: and with it the level of emotional involvment
[2008/11/17 7:43] Zealot Benmergui: To recap....Multisub families are very difficult but can work if the goals of amity, rule and communication are followed, and everything is done with consistency.
[2008/11/17 7:44] ***qB***: yes but who is that honest
[2008/11/17 7:44] Zealot Benmergui: However, it is far more delicate then most Dom.sub relationships, and will often take many times the work, patience and committment to work properly...it should never be started or joined lightly
[2008/11/17 7:45] ***qB***: hmmmhmmm
[2008/11/17 7:45] Zealot Benmergui: Ultimately Miss ***qB***, that is a question each person involved needs to answer for themselves
[2008/11/17 7:45] ***qB***: i know i am really i am
[2008/11/17 7:45] Zealot Benmergui: Now then, that is the end of the lecture proper, so we now begin the discussion, question and naked snipe hunt
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***MM***: mmm naked
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***CR***:: o.o!
[2008/11/17 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: Also, I remind you that if you desire to tip your lecturer, shove the bills directly in my thong.
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***CD***: I feel over dressed
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***GM*** puts away the erotic muffins
[2008/11/17 7:46] Zealot Benmergui takes a muffin
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***qB***: nice thong
[2008/11/17 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: Mmmm..clitorus flavored..my favorite
[2008/11/17 7:46] ***qB***: grins
[2008/11/17 7:47] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***CD***..perhaps you could tell us more about your situation,..how it started, and why?
[2008/11/17 7:47] ***CD***: Oh I would love to
[2008/11/17 7:48] ***CD***: Mistress found me and offered Ownership, I humbly accepted after much discussion. But I was not aware I was one of another three.
[2008/11/17 7:48] Zealot Benmergui: I am impressed, since that is always an early stumbling block
[2008/11/17 7:48] ***AK***: Obviously missed in the discussion?
[2008/11/17 7:48] ***AK***: wow
[2008/11/17 7:48] Zealot Benmergui: not knowing you are joining a chain...
[2008/11/17 7:48] Zealot Benmergui: How did you react to that?
[2008/11/17 7:49] ***CD***: Yes, It was not discussed as I believe mistress wanted me for things her others would not do.
[2008/11/17 7:49] Zealot Benmergui: Car maintenance?
[2008/11/17 7:49] ***CD***: No silly ^^
[2008/11/17 7:49] ***UN*** thinks ***CD*** is a forgiving person:)
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***GM***: I'd have been somewhat...pissed?
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***CD***: More taboo subjects I was happy to do. I was introduced a few days later and I was very upset
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***AK*** agrees with Gwenn.
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***UN***: Like, "Um, that wasn't the contract I signed Mister!"
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***CD***: I didnt feel like I did before I knew
[2008/11/17 7:50] ***AK***: Not even an, oh by the way....
[2008/11/17 7:50] Zealot Benmergui: Nods...
[2008/11/17 7:50] Zealot Benmergui: understandable
[2008/11/17 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: how did your Mistress handle that?
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***AK***: poor ***CD***
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***AK***: hugs
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***MM***: yeah that's tough ***CD***....that's not a minor tidbit of info to leave out
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***CD***: She handles it very well
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***CD***: Handles*
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***GM***: I'm finding myself angry for you, ***CD***
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***CD***: Handled*
[2008/11/17 7:51] ***UN*** nods at Gwenn.
[2008/11/17 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: *nods....I am sure she does...how did she deal with your being upset by thenews?
[2008/11/17 7:52] ***CD***: Nono she wasnt being a bad person, She offered us to go and buy some new clothes together and get to know one another.
[2008/11/17 7:52] ***AK***: Do you get on well with the others?
[2008/11/17 7:52] ***UN***: sounds like she thought she could buy the peace.
[2008/11/17 7:52] ***CD***: And they all wanted to add me as a freind, thankfully we all got on well and shared many of the same interests.
[2008/11/17 7:52] ***VA***: I am sure Mistress handled it well....but not caring a fig about her sub
[2008/11/17 7:53] Zealot Benmergui: ***UN***..gently...each situationis unique..clearly what happened worked for ***CD***, and that is a good thing
[2008/11/17 7:53] ***CD***: I can undertand how it can break down badly tho
[2008/11/17 7:53] Zealot Benmergui: Not every road is smooth and straight...but it is still the destination that matters
[2008/11/17 7:53] ***CD***: I thought it was all over when i was introduced to the others
[2008/11/17 7:53] Zealot Benmergui: What changed your mind?
[2008/11/17 7:54] ***CD***: Mistress rounded us al together and apologised to me
[2008/11/17 7:54] ***CD***: and them
[2008/11/17 7:54] ***AK***: was a reason given
[2008/11/17 7:54] ***AK***: or did it just slip her mind
[2008/11/17 7:55] Zealot Benmergui: I think this sounds like a misjudgment on the Mistresses part..and a heartfelt apology to all was a good step to correct it
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***CD***: Yes thats it
[2008/11/17 7:55] Zealot Benmergui: never underestimate the power of an apology in a D/s situation
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***UN*** nods and apologizes to ***CD*** for assuming.
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***MM*** nods
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***CD***: its okay everyone :)
[2008/11/17 7:55] Zealot Benmergui: Dominants can also be swept up in moments
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***RV***: nods
[2008/11/17 7:55] ***AK***: nods
[2008/11/17 7:56] ***MM*** laughs
[2008/11/17 7:56] ***GM*** nods, and an apology can go a long way
[2008/11/17 7:56] ***CD***: We collect together and talk about any worries we have as well
[2008/11/17 7:56] Zealot Benmergui: It is a good sign you were all able to overcome a bad beginning
[2008/11/17 7:56] ***CD***: Yes I was fortunate i feel
[2008/11/17 7:57] Zealot Benmergui: Has anyone been part of a chain that started more typically...thatis you knew you were joining a group?
[2008/11/17 7:57] ***AK***: i think the mistress is the fortunate one that you didnt bolt.
[2008/11/17 7:57] ***FR***: i was, Sir.
[2008/11/17 7:57] ***CD***: She said that to me also
[2008/11/17 7:57] ***CD***: she thanked me for not leaviing
[2008/11/17 7:57] Zealot Benmergui: My compliments then to your Mistress, ***CD***
[2008/11/17 7:57] ***MM***: it sounds like it works for you and you got an early glimpse at how she deals with problems
[2008/11/17 7:57] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***FR***..tell us a bit about your situation then?
[2008/11/17 7:58] ***AK***: to be honest i dont feel i have it in me to spread my emotions through more than one chain.
[2008/11/17 7:58] Zealot Benmergui: MUltiple CHAINS ***AK***..damn...that would take a lot of viagra for most men
[2008/11/17 7:59] Zealot Benmergui: "I got my 8 slaves in Thorth..and then another 6 in the anciety city of Plotox
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***RV***: lol
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***AK***: Who said the dom needs to cum to please his sub?
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***qB***: hehe
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***FR***: In all honesty, there was poor planning on HIs part. He was wrapped up in a moment, and i knew in my own moment, when i was introduced to the two others, that when they sighed.. that there was going to be problems. He had not informed them of my exhistane, an di was unknowingly thrown into a situation they weren't open for.
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***VA***: ME
[2008/11/17 7:59] Zealot Benmergui pauses to kiss ***AK***, then returns
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***AK*** smiles and winks
[2008/11/17 7:59] ***MM*** cheers
[2008/11/17 8:00] Zealot Benmergui: That sounds very very diffuclt Miss ***FR***
[2008/11/17 8:00] ***GM*** winces for felicity
[2008/11/17 8:01] ***AG*** has to run waves buh bye
[2008/11/17 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: Be well Miss ***AG***
[2008/11/17 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: But you KNEw of them?
[2008/11/17 8:01] ***FR***: He was not on often enough, and i would put forth my efforts into the other twos relationship with mine, trying to bond.. and all my efforts were all in vain. they would turn on me when He would log in.
[2008/11/17 8:01] ***FR***: Yes, i did.
[2008/11/17 8:01] ***CD***: It sounds sad, im so sorry
[2008/11/17 8:02] ***qB***: aaaawhhh Felicity
[2008/11/17 8:02] ***qB***: that did hurt
[2008/11/17 8:03] ***FR***: After me being called selfish and un-understanding because after i found out, that one lied to me and had spent my day consoling her about a collar she had that she stated was "used". Then being told to kneel before my sister to beg her forgiveness - i left.
[2008/11/17 8:03] ***MM***: I don't blame you
[2008/11/17 8:03] ***UN***: I'm so sorry Felicity.
[2008/11/17 8:03] ***FR***: Then He told me i had another chance to come back.
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***GM***: As if you'd want to?
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***qB***: yeah right
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***FR***: i wished him luck..
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***qB***: good for you
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***UN*** understands that there are a HUGE number of clueless Doms out there.
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***qB***: yes many
[2008/11/17 8:04] ***GM*** nods
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***AK***: too many hardons
[2008/11/17 8:05] Zealot Benmergui: Unfortunetly that situation is very common in families...
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***qB***: i have to rl is calling
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***GM***: collectors with egos
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***MM***: bye qt, be well
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***qB***: bye bye everybody
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***CD***: Take care
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***UN***: bye qt
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***AK***: ciao blondie
[2008/11/17 8:05] ***GM***: bye qt
[2008/11/17 8:05] Zealot Benmergui: an Odd Man Out situation, where everyone gangs up on one or two members, with the master backing the larger group just for peace
[2008/11/17 8:06] ***CJ***: it is possible, though, to have a positive experience being on a chain...i know i did
[2008/11/17 8:06] Zealot Benmergui: Yes Miss ***CJ***?
[2008/11/17 8:07] ***CJ***: but it started out with honesty...the Dom was always honest with everyone about wanting a chaini
[2008/11/17 8:07] Zealot Benmergui: Thatis always important in the beginning
[2008/11/17 8:07] ***CJ***: some sisters got along better on a chain than others...but i, personally, made some of my best friends out of chain sisters
[2008/11/17 8:08] ***GM*** nods
[2008/11/17 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: smiles
[2008/11/17 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: I assume from your words that it ended?
[2008/11/17 8:08] ***CJ***: for us, the focus had to remain on the Dom....and his pleasures and desires
[2008/11/17 8:08] ***CJ***: yes, i was released, but that's a totally different story
[2008/11/17 8:09] ***CJ***: and as long as we remained focus on our rresponsibilities, and communication stayed open, and he shared h is time fairly...we got along well
[2008/11/17 8:09] Zealot Benmergui: That sounds like a situation that worked aas it should
[2008/11/17 8:10] ***CJ***: it was very satisfying..i would do it again
[2008/11/17 8:10] ***CD***: This was wonderfull everybody, thank you so much!
[2008/11/17 8:10] ***MM***: bye ***CD***
[2008/11/17 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: Thank you Miss ***CD*** for your input
[2008/11/17 8:10] Zealot Benmergui pets her gently
[2008/11/17 8:11] ***RV*** chuckles
[2008/11/17 8:11] ***MM*** grins
[2008/11/17 8:11] Zealot Benmergui: OK, first time I have been at a loss for words in a lecture
[2008/11/17 8:11] ***RV***: hehehe
[2008/11/17 8:11] ***GM*** chuckles
[2008/11/17 8:12] ***CV***:: lol
[2008/11/17 8:12] ***CR***:: o.0
[2008/11/17 8:12] Zealot Benmergui: I think from the examples we have heard about, chains CAN be uniquely rewarding for subs...but also very difficult to start well and maintain
[2008/11/17 8:13] ***VM***: Have you done anything in the past... focusing on jealosy and how to get past it?
[2008/11/17 8:14] Zealot Benmergui: Jealousy comes up a great deal in lectures..little wonder...but I have not done a lecture on it alone..I think Pirate has, if you check her ftp sitew
[2008/11/17 8:14] ***CV***:: Pirate did at her last lecture.
[2008/11/17 8:14] ***CV***: grins
[2008/11/17 8:14] Zealot Benmergui: Well there you go
[2008/11/17 8:14] ***VM***: Where can i find the notes?
[2008/11/17 8:15] ***CV***:: She has a website..but i don't remember at the moment.
[2008/11/17 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: As for myself, next lecture here at V will be very early thursday morning SL time, 00:30 AM SLT
[2008/11/17 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: my normal weednesday night thursday morning slot
[2008/11/17 8:16] Zealot Benmergui: entitled "Sex, Lies and Role Playing: Truth and Fiction in Online D/s"
[2008/11/17 8:16] ***AK***: RP yayyyy Call me daddy
[2008/11/17 8:16] Zealot Benmergui: Next monday, 7 AM, will be "The Morning AFter: Aftercare in Second Life"
[2008/11/17 8:16] Zealot Benmergui: Hi Daddy
[2008/11/17 8:16] ***RV***: lol
[2008/11/17 8:16] ***AK*** cums
[2008/11/17 8:16] ***GM*** giggles
[2008/11/17 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: you can always check my shcedule on my website, at http://bardhaven.wordpress.com
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***GM*** smiles...Thank you for the lecture, Sir
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***FR***: Thank You, Sir Zealot.
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***CR***: accepted your inventory offer.
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***CR***: accepted your inventory offer.
[2008/11/17 8:18] Zealot Benmergui: My pleasure all
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***CR***: accepted your inventory offer.
[2008/11/17 8:18] ***CJ***: Thank you, Sir Zealot and E/everybody for an interesting discussion
[2008/11/17 8:21] Zealot Benmergui: Thank you to everyone for your tips...I am going to have to make bobbleheads for everyone, i can tell
[2008/11/17 8:21] ***VM***: : )