Fetish & Kink

[6:35] ***aK***: heya
[6:36] Payne Samiam: Hello :)
[6:36] Payne Samiam: Are you here for the talk at 7am ?
[6:36] ***aK***: yes
[6:37] Payne Samiam: smiles
[6:37] Payne Samiam: I came over early to avoid crashes later
[6:37] Payne Samiam: How is your day going ?
[6:38] ***aK***: i'm fine thanks
[6:40] ***aK***: not too crowded !
[6:41] Payne Samiam: not yet lol, should be around 10 people here today.
[6:41] Payne Samiam: I usually give it till 5 past for the strays and late comers.
[6:41] ***aK***: i came once it was 10 or average
[6:41] Payne Samiam: Nice dress
[6:41] ***aK***: ty
[6:43] Payne Samiam: Should be a fun talk anything todo with fetishes and kinks is fun
[6:43] ***aK***: maybe i would learn something, grins
[6:44] Payne Samiam: Hopefully we all learn things both teacher and students
[6:44] ***aK***: probably
[6:45] Payne Samiam: What do you do when not here ?
[6:45] Payne Samiam: if you don't mind me asking
[6:45] ***aK***: i received a mess
[6:45] Payne Samiam: a mess ?
[6:46] ***aK***: message
[6:46] ***aK***: and i'm curious so i come here
[6:46] Payne Samiam: me smiles
[6:50] Payne Samiam: most people arrive about 5 to
[6:51] ***aK***: do you like to teach ?
[6:51] Payne Samiam: Yes i've been doing it for along time
[6:53] Payne Samiam: Love giving advice and guiiding
[6:53] Payne Samiam: helping people
[6:54] Payne Samiam: Hello :)
[6:54] Payne Samiam: smiles
[6:55] ***YJ***e smiles, "Greetings to you both."
[6:55] ***CJ***: Greetings *smiles*
[6:55] Payne Samiam: We will give people till about 5 past to get here
[6:55] Payne Samiam: smiles
[6:57] ***MN***: greeting Payne
[6:57] Payne Samiam: Greetings ***MN***.
[6:59] Payne Samiam: How is everyone
[7:00] ***MN***: great
[7:01] ***YJ***e smiles, "Excellent."
[7:02] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:02] ***PW*** hello
[7:02] Payne Samiam: Hi
[7:02] Payne Samiam: Will give people 3 more minutes to get here.
[7:02] ***YJ***e smiles at ***PW***.
[7:03] ***PW*** Writer smiles
[7:03] ***AP***: Hello, Sir Payne!
[7:03] ***AP***: Hello everyone!
[7:03] ***PW*** hi
[7:03] ***AP***: Hi!
[7:03] ***YJ***e smiles, "Greetings ***AP***."
[7:04] Payne Samiam: Hello ***AP*** :)
[7:04] ***AP***: Hello, Yejiba, nice to meet you!
[7:04] ***SR*** smiles .. hello E/everyone
[7:04] ***PW*** :)
[7:04] ***YJ***e grins. "A pleasure to meet you as well."
[7:04] ***AP***: Thank you, Yejiba :)
[7:04] ***YJ***e smiles, "Greetings Suki."
[7:05] ***AP***: Hello Suki!
[7:06] ***SR*** giggles these sit poses look funny and i have the red ball between ones legs.. still!!
[7:06] Payne Samiam: laughs
[7:06] ***PW*** i know
[7:06] ***SR***: hmmm.. maybe thats my kink *winks*
[7:06] Payne Samiam: Well we may aswell begin.
[7:07] ***AP***: Oh Goodie!
[7:07] Payne Samiam: All I ask is that while i'm speaking please keep the chatter down to a minimum but any questions at all just ask, the only stupid question is one that is never asked.
[7:08] Payne Samiam: Firstly thank you all for coming.
[7:09] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:09] Payne Samiam: Before I begin let me tell you a little about myself. some of you already know me.
[7:10] Payne Samiam: A little about myself before we begin, i've been involve with D/s for about 10-12 years and by involved I mean real life london scene and midlands scene (UK), I have been a sub, slave(wore a gorean eternity collar rl for 6 months) and Master, i've looked after about 140 girls and 28 boys. I explore just about everything and try to keep an open mind.
[7:10] Payne Samiam: Now I know and understand alot of people keep there rl seperate from sl but I don't, i'm exactly the same here (except for body and hair lol) as rl, if I take on a girl here its same and I treat that girl exactly the same as if she was sitting next to me in this room now, I don't hide from drama and My only limits are those of the girl i'm with, i've had girls that i've been with on sl come stay with me and my wife rl i've also just looked after people and been Master online.
[7:11] Payne Samiam: So if anyone has questions after the class all I ask is that you respect who I am and what I do, I don't expect anyone to share anything with me they are not comfortable with but I don't need any "its just a game" friends :) I prefer to spend my time with "real" people whether that be through the medium of internet or not.
[7:12] Payne Samiam: Now Fetish and kink
[7:12] ***AP***: *smiles*
[7:12] Payne Samiam: That is such a fun an yummilicious topic to play with
[7:13] Payne Samiam: grins
[7:13] Payne Samiam: We all have kinks and fetishes, deeply seated desires that are apart of us
[7:13] Payne Samiam: Fantasies that sometimes we could never share.
[7:15] Payne Samiam: It can go from the simplist example of the feel of silk against bare skin to being tied up by chains and whipped into an unholy orgasm.
[7:15] Payne Samiam: As a Master myself I haveto balance... when I take on a girl, a true submissive or slave she will have her own desires, needs, kinks or fetishes
[7:15] Payne Samiam: As do I
[7:16] Payne Samiam: sometimes the lines blur
[7:16] ***AP***: groans! :)
[7:16] Payne Samiam: In looking after a girl we haveto make sure our desires our fetishes don't crush the submissive or slaves own needs
[7:17] Payne Samiam: Its not easy especially when the girl or boy wants to please so much
[7:18] Payne Samiam: Everything from a collar to bondage to fantasies of being raped by a dragon or taken by a werewolf or dressed as a dolly and posed in place
[7:18] Payne Samiam: some may shock you, some may excite you
[7:18] Payne Samiam: but I guarentee someone out there will get really hot and bothered by it
[7:19] Payne Samiam: I myself have explored fetishes that don't interest me at all, but I do it because the one I was with needed that
[7:19] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:19] ***AP***: :)
[7:19] Payne Samiam: And My pleasure came from seeing them happy
[7:19] Payne Samiam: Now normally my girl Ladyrose would be here with me to help with this talk
[7:20] Payne Samiam: but lucky girl is at disney world swimming with dolphins today.
[7:20] ***AP***: oooh nice Sir!
[7:21] Payne Samiam: I talked to her this morning she is having alot of fun, even though I won't see her for another week (not easy) she needs and deserves this holiday
[7:22] Payne Samiam: What is a fetish or kink, its something beyond a like, its at the core of us, its something that arouses and excites, makes us want to do things we shouldn't, it makes you wet, it makes you scream in need
[7:22] Payne Samiam: I am personally of the opinion that aslong as its between two consenting adults and behind closed doors anything goes
[7:23] Payne Samiam: I never judge anyone for there fantasies and needs, even if it wasn't for me i'd respect there right to it.
[7:24] Payne Samiam: Personally I have many involving everything from anime to latex to hypnosis and bondage..
[7:24] Payne Samiam: But an easy example is this
[7:26] Payne Samiam: I love the look and feel of feminine silk, lace and satin on a girl, I have in the past had a girl dress in 13 layers of clothing from bra, camisole, slip, stockings, lace, silk, satin all the way up to a coat then i've blindfolded her and over about 8 hours i've slowly undressed her caressing and touching bringing her to orgasm with each item of clothing I removed.
[7:26] ***AP*** smiles at that delicious thought!
[7:26] ***SR***: mmm
[7:27] Payne Samiam: Is it getting hot in here ?
[7:27] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:27] ***AP***: you bet!
[7:27] ***SR*** gigles and squirms
[7:27] ***YJ***e smiles and listens.
[7:27] Payne Samiam: But its a very personal journey if you find the right person you can explore anything.
[7:27] Payne Samiam: no two people are the same
[7:28] Payne Samiam: and its our uniqueness that makes it so wonderful
[7:29] Payne Samiam: I see my roll as a Master not to break a girl or lower her but to enhance her, hold her hand and say "hey its okay to be you" follow the path together and learn from each other.
[7:29] ***PW*** Writer smiles
[7:29] ***AP***: sounds good, SIr
[7:30] Payne Samiam: These days I limit myself to one sub at a time whether rl or in sl because simply if you find the right person you won't need more than one and if she gives 100% as a sub and is genuine how can I do any less.
[7:30] ***PW*** i agree
[7:30] ***AP***: Yes, here, here!
[7:30] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:31] Payne Samiam: Sadly in sl as in rl D/s or what we call D/s there is alot of wanabe's etc which make it hard to find the right one.
[7:32] ***AP***: nods
[7:32] Payne Samiam: Now before I continue any questions or thoughts, remember these are only my opinions they won't fit everyone.
[7:32] Dorothy Willis is Offline
[7:33] ***aK***: what about hypnosis ? is it truth or fake ?
[7:33] ***MN***: all clear so far
[7:33] Payne Samiam: Hypnosis is real I use it alot myself
[7:33] ***XD***: i have used it
[7:33] Payne Samiam: there is alot of fakes out there
[7:33] Payne Samiam: Its a very personal journey
[7:34] ***PW*** i agree with the finding the right one
[7:34] ***PW*** that usually sorts out the fakes along a journey
[7:34] Payne Samiam: With the right person you can it may sound corny explore anything
[7:34] ***AP*** puts up her hand!
[7:34] Payne Samiam: yes ?
[7:34] ***AP***: What about....some fettishes are extreme, and quite rare - would you say this has any bearing to how one was brought up - their childhood experiences say?
[7:35] Payne Samiam: Good Question
[7:35] Payne Samiam: Actually the internet has helped alot to let people know they are not alone
[7:35] Payne Samiam: Hell there is sites for everything out there google is your friend :)
[7:35] ***PW*** personally i think the personality you have developed is a reflection of th etotality of your experience so yes
[7:35] ***IV***: /nods
[7:36] Payne Samiam: I agree
[7:36] ***MN***: yes it is
[7:36] ***PW*** including supressed memmories
[7:36] ***PW*** if i can spell
[7:37] ***PW*** i digress
[7:37] Payne Samiam: It may seem shocking but the average age of sexual awakening is as young at 8 years old, that may seem totally own there but from my experience talking with lots of groups of different people there needs there explorations started as early as that
[7:38] Payne Samiam: and depending on how those needs are explored it shapes you in your life
[7:38] Payne Samiam: Then you have the negatives
[7:38] Payne Samiam: I had one girl I helped in london
[7:38] Payne Samiam: she was 34 and had never orgasmed because something happened at 15
[7:39] Payne Samiam: something that changed her development
[7:39] Payne Samiam: I was able to help her but it shows how our past changes us
[7:39] ***IV***: It is my opinion, but we are all born as sexual beings .......and we have "needs" that we have an innate feeling to quench......some could say we begin before the age of 8....considering that toddlers begin fondling themselves because it feels good
[7:39] ***NS***: my respect teacher
[7:39] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:39] Payne Samiam: I agree Indigo
[7:40] Payne Samiam: True submissive, true Masters i've always believed were born that way
[7:40] ***PW*** i agree - and the concious age of sexuality - ones self awareness will develope later
[7:40] Payne Samiam: yes you can learn the how to's but the rest is from deep inside you
[7:40] ***IV***: yes, and there is no quelching it
[7:41] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:41] ***MN***: it is who we are
[7:41] ***MN***: that is why i have a hard time understanding switches
[7:41] Payne Samiam: Me and rose we have some amazingly kinky things we both like and we were so amazed at how many of them mirrored each others
[7:42] ***IV***: Ah a switch.......again, my opinion.....but we all do things we do not prefer......take a bi-sexual....do they enjoy both sexes equally?
[7:42] ***IV***: they usually lean towards on sex more than the other
[7:42] Payne Samiam: I don't believe there is ever a true switch, one side is always dominant of the other.
[7:42] Payne Samiam: Yes
[7:42] ***IV***: lol....Yes, Payne
[7:43] Payne Samiam: I explored being a sub and slave because I felt it would better give me empathy to be a good Master to understand the other side.
[7:43] ***MN***: oh i see
[7:43] ***XD***: i am a true sub.. but i'm trying to get more Domme to please a male slave friend.. its been an adventure *nods*
[7:43] ***PW*** my friend has done that for the same reason and seems a valid route
[7:43] ***IV***: I think there are more Masters/Doms that should experience that
[7:44] Payne Samiam: Yes I think it would help them to understand
[7:44] ***XD***: i agree.. my recent exp has been eye opening
[7:44] Payne Samiam: I am bi sexually I prefer women but certain japanese men definetly do it for me.
[7:45] ***PW*** as a master i feel compassion - and a part of me likes the sub role but my dom side will not allow it
[7:45] ***PW*** in rl even more
[7:46] Payne Samiam: I think society plays a big part in trying to stick us in cubicles, all men should like women etc stifling us, in a way D/s and BDSM and all that is a response, a need for an honest relationship with someone
[7:46] Payne Samiam: I unnderstand ***PW***
[7:46] ***PW*** i agree
[7:47] Payne Samiam: at its core D/s is simple an exploration of the truth of oneself
[7:47] ***MN***: yes
[7:47] Payne Samiam: and it is sooo much fun!
[7:47] ***YJ***e says, "And trust, Sir."
[7:47] Payne Samiam: yes
[7:47] Payne Samiam: Without trust there can be no relationship
[7:48] ***PW*** the eploration is enhanced with the journey through the ride if you like on the exploration train of my sub
[7:48] ***IV***: and just like relationships....each train ride....is different
[7:48] ***PW*** with mutual trust at the core
[7:48] ***IV***: a different experience for the M/s
[7:49] ***PW*** yes
[7:49] ***YJ***e nods at Indigo. "Yes, Lady."
[7:49] Payne Samiam: In a couple of weeks i'll be setting up an informal group that will be meeting at mine and rose's house, it will be very informal will include parties and shows where we will give examples of hypnosis etc, sometimes just sitting around to chat, anyone interested swap friendships with me and once it is up and running I will start up a group etc.
[7:49] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:49] ***MN***: very nice idea
[7:50] ***XD***: sounds fun
[7:50] ***IV***: i too have a SIM if you need to use it Payne as a meeting ground
[7:50] Payne Samiam: There will be no set days or anything just times we say hey anyone want to meet up
[7:50] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:50] Payne Samiam: Thank you Indigo we can discuss that :)
[7:50] ***SR*** smiles i would be interested
[7:50] ***XD***: :-)
[7:50] ***IV*** nods
[7:51] Payne Samiam: After all its about having fun
[7:51] Payne Samiam: if it isn't fun then something is wrong
[7:51] ***IV***: ...and enjoying the relationships that we build
[7:51] ***SR*** claps
[7:52] Payne Samiam: i'm a great believer in trusting that feeling deep inside you, if it feels right it usually is
[7:52] Payne Samiam: Same with D/s my main rule with a girl is it should feel natural it should feel right or its not the right time.
[7:53] Payne Samiam: Next week will be a mish mash of subjects including Hypnosis, bondage and what makes a good relationship.
[7:54] Payne Samiam: I don't mind at all people coming here to the meeting and starting a new subject
[7:54] Payne Samiam: Its nice to see where the journey takes us
[7:54] ***XD*** smiles
[7:54] Payne Samiam: And anything we talk about that needs its own lesson just ask
[7:54] ***AP*** says, "Thank you, SIr. Most enjoyable, even though i was called away in the middle of it - thank you for answering my question, SIr!"
[7:55] Payne Samiam: Anytime, you were all wonderful to talk with
[7:55] ***AP***: :)
[7:55] Payne Samiam: its always nice to have input
[7:55] ***IV***: Payne do you have a tip jar
[7:55] ***YJ***e smiles, "Yes, thank you, Sir."
[7:55] Payne Samiam: oh no I don't do this for anything but to see someone smile
[7:56] ***MN***: well we are all smiling
[7:56] ***IV***: Then know that I have enjoyed the fellowship and i am smiling
[7:56] ***SR*** smiles.. ty Sir .. nice and relaxed session
[7:56] ***XD*** smiles
[7:56] ***AP***: we certainly are, SIr :)
[7:56] ***MN***: thank you very much
[7:56] ***PW*** thank you Payne
[7:56] Payne Samiam: Have a lovely day everyone and remember just send me a message if you want to talk
[7:56] ***MN***: and our partners will be smiling too
[7:56] ***MN*** is Online
[7:56] ***SR***: i just want to go and find lots of silk layers...lol
[7:56] ***PW*** Japanese rop art would be an ideal tutorial for future ref
[7:56] Payne Samiam: smiles
[7:56] ***AP*** nods
[7:57] ***SR***: oo yes shibari
[7:57] Payne Samiam: ooh I love that
[7:57] ***XD***: i enjoy coming to the lectures.. i always learn something.. or it makes me think of something new
[7:57] Payne Samiam: I can bring that in next week
[7:57] ***PW*** i look forward to it
[7:57] ***AP***: oh yes!
[7:57] Payne Samiam: Lovely to meet you all.
[7:57] ***PW*** likewise
[7:57] ***PW*** also