Yin and Yang: Online/RP vs. Real Life D/s - 9/15/08

[2008/09/15 7:40] Zealot Benmergui: Welcome A/all to the House of V’s College of Kink. My name is Zealot Benmergui, Baron BardHaven and I will be your host today. The topic for today is Yin and Yang: Online/RP vs. Real Life D/s. We will be examining the strengths and weakness of them both, and how they are interdependent. We will also try to put to rest some nagging misconceptions about both. Please note that for the purpose of clarity, I will tend to use “she” to refer to a submissive and “he” to refer to a Dominant, but either can be of any gender.
[2008/09/15 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: There has always been a somewhat strained relationship between online and real life D/s, and you will often find. Of course, there is no worry about seniority since Real Life D/s predates the online variety by a few thousand years, give or take an Eon. Some have said it is born out of the fact that Online D/s has always been considered by many in the real life BDSM scene to be somehow fake, for tourists and players. A sort of kinky game. A lightweight version of D/s. World of Warcraft, the naked version.
[2008/09/15 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: Of course, this fails to take into account that for many people involved in Real life D/s, it is also just a kinky game. No one can honestly say that everyone who picks up a blogger or hangs off a post at a play party, munch or bondage club is a 24/7 D/s lifestyle. The vast majority are much like their online counterparts, seeking physical or emotional pleasure by exploring a certain element of their personality.
[2008/09/15 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: *flogger
[2008/09/15 7:42] Zealot Benmergui: Blogger is different, and is only used to beat people like political candidates and Robert Scoble.
[2008/09/15 7:42] ***GA*** supresses a soft laugh
[2008/09/15 7:43] Pirate Russell blogs ALL the transcripts..... eventually!
[2008/09/15 7:43] Zealot Benmergui: Just as real life D/s has an illusion of online D/s as being lightweight, many online enthusiasts think of real life D/s lifestyles as little short of psycotic.
[2008/09/15 7:43] Zealot Benmergui: We have all heard of the ideal of the 24/7 D/s lifestyle, where every moment is spent in a Master/slave or Dom/sub context. Confusing the teller in the bank by saying you need a home improvement loan to buy a new girl and 4 bearskins, kneeling at the McDonald’s drive through and saying “Can this girl have fries with that please?”…
[2008/09/15 7:44] Zealot Benmergui: Telling Jr’s third grade teacher you can’t come to PTA Wednesday night since that is the night Master allows his clan mates to use this girl’s cunt, but Thursday will be alright, that is the night Master is raping the neighbor’s Yert, asking the local Tupperware rep if she sells an U-Storit Underbed storage bin large enough to keep a slut in…with airholes punched in it, of course.
[2008/09/15 7:44] ***WR*** laughs
[2008/09/15 7:45] ***VM***: lol
[2008/09/15 7:45] Zealot Benmergui: By and large, all of that is a myth, or a story made up to frighten nuns or elderly mothers…sometimes one and the same. Be they online or in real life, all people in the lifestyle pick and choose their moments. Some only use D/s in the bedroom, or in the house, some only on specific nights, others in public when they choose but not at other times. There is no right or wrong approach, no matter what anyone will say.
[2008/09/15 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: Just as both sides tend to have misconceptions about the other, everyone also often misunderstands the words Role Play.
[2008/09/15 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: The term Role Play has also often been used derisively to define Online D/s, but to a great degree, ALL D/s has an element of role play, unless you life in a remote fortress or isolated chateau…and the rent on those kind of places is a real bitch when your slave is too busy crawling around serving you Dr. Pepper’s to earn a living.
[2008/09/15 7:47] Zealot Benmergui: Role play plays a major part in all D/s relationships, in one form or another..I would even go so far as to say it plays a part in ALL forms of sexual relationships..wether both partners are aware of it or not.
[2008/09/15 7:48] Zealot Benmergui: Soon after Neanderthal worked out that whole sex thing, one neanderthal put on a ski mask and some other neaderthal pretended they were a burgler...role play is all just a matter of degrees
[2008/09/15 7:49] ***GA*** smiles at the analogy
[2008/09/15 7:50] Zealot Benmergui: Due to certain physical realities,being that few men are long enough to stretch several cities, role play just takes on a more prominant role in online relationships then in most real life ones
[2008/09/15 7:50] Zealot Benmergui: that will be somewhat alieviated once teledildonics is more common in consumer goods...but for now, we do what we can with role playing.
[2008/09/15 7:50] ***RV*** laughs
[2008/09/15 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: The wise realize that there are benefits to role play and to online D/s that don’t exist in real life and vice versa, and these can either be used to enhance a real life D/s relationship, or form the bulk of D/s experience. First and foremost, online D/s can be very very convenient. Submission Mobile. Don’t have time to get to the munch this week, your kid is sick so you need to stay home, your husband asked why you have a whip in the trunk of the car? Just direct your iPhone to www.subbie.net and you can connect quickly and easily to that side of your nature.
[2008/09/15 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: In addition, and on a more serious note, online D/s is just flat out safer, especially for someone new to the life style. You don’t need to worry about leaving information about where you will be with a friend, or creating ways to duck out gracefully from a bad situation…every computer has a reset button. When in need, use it.
[2008/09/15 7:52] ***RV*** has to duck out, please send a transcript of the lecture? Thanks all, and take care
[2008/09/15 7:53] Zealot Benmergui: The benefits of Real life over online tend to be obvious and center around the physical. I know I for one get tired of the announcement before every sessions that says "In tonights scene, the role of "hot, willing submissive" willbe portrayed by your right hand"
[2008/09/15 7:53] ***GA*** smiles to Rowan as she leaves
[2008/09/15 7:54] Zealot Benmergui: But where real life tends to be more immediate physically, emotionally, online and RL can be equally as powerful, and equally as fulfilling, to both Dom and sub.
[2008/09/15 7:55] Zealot Benmergui: Both sides of the communty has built up a lot of resentment and misunderstanding over the years against the other, but as one who has practiced both, I can clearly see that both have advantages, and both are two sides of the same coin.
[2008/09/15 7:55] Zealot Benmergui: We will always have people who claim that real life subs and Doms are "Real", and online are fake, or posears..but really, as always, it comes down to individuals.
[2008/09/15 7:56] Zealot Benmergui: D/s is about relationships first and foremost,...not about sex and certainly not about the medium.
[2008/09/15 7:56] Zealot Benmergui: As long as you look to the quality of those relationsips, and the emotional power of your own personal submission or Domination, wether you express that in person, on cam, by voice, in text, by long letter or via polaroids taken by your mother...it just doesn;t matter
[2008/09/15 7:57] Zealot Benmergui: D/s is D/s, no matter the method of communication.
[2008/09/15 7:57] Zealot Benmergui: Now, as always, I would like to open the floor to discussion, questions and verbal abuse.
[2008/09/15 7:58] ***VM***: lol
[2008/09/15 7:58] ***GA*** raises her hand
[2008/09/15 7:59] Zealot Benmergui: Well, how many of you have experience with real lifer D/s as well as online?
[2008/09/15 7:59] ***WR*** raises her hand
[2008/09/15 7:59] Zealot Benmergui: Yes miss Amertza?
[2008/09/15 7:59] ***GA***: A Sl friend told me recently about her SL experience where her Master got her to achieve 'sub space' remotely as they role played. He was concerned when he couldn't bring her 'back down' and then enlisted the help of his other sub via voice to calm and sooth my friend. Is this a common feature and if so, how does the Dom/me control things safetly?
[2008/09/15 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: Subspace is certainly a part of online D/s, just as it is in RL....and it is vital that the sub be brought back up out of it..that is certainly easier to do in Rl with caresses and holding them...but it can be done online as well..via text or by voice...the most important thing is that the sub be made to feel very very safe, and very very understood at that moment.
[2008/09/15 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: it isn;t easy, but it can certainly be done online
[2008/09/15 8:01] ***GA***: Thank you Sir. Does anyone here have experience of that in SL?
[2008/09/15 8:01] You: I can't speak for the 'sub-space' but ***IM*** and I had an INTENSE scene a few weeks ago, left U/us both in tears, I was definately in Domme-space. And it was all in SL
[2008/09/15 8:01] ***XD***: hmm, i'm not familiar with subspace.. do you mean freaking out?
[2008/09/15 8:02] Zealot Benmergui: I do
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***IM*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***GA***: When the sub loses conscious feeling of where she is
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***XD***: ok
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***GA***: Though not losing consciousness
[2008/09/15 8:02] Zealot Benmergui: No, Subspace is a feeling of complete submission, where the sub seems alomst to go outside of themselves..for every submissive it is different.
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***XD***: i see
[2008/09/15 8:02] Zealot Benmergui: nods to Miss ***GA***, some subs feel that way, yes
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***XD***: thanks, i think i get it now
[2008/09/15 8:02] ***XD***: hmm
[2008/09/15 8:03] Zealot Benmergui: the trick is, of course, bringing them safely back out of it
[2008/09/15 8:03] ***GA*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:03] ***XD***: thankfully i have never gotten to that point
[2008/09/15 8:03] ***GA***: Thank you Sir
[2008/09/15 8:03] Zealot Benmergui: I have worked with several girls who took a long time recovering from being left in Subspace
[2008/09/15 8:04] Zealot Benmergui: it utterly erodes the trust that needs to be at the heart of any D/s relationship
[2008/09/15 8:04] You: Yes, thre is a oft neglected process called "After Care" Should be performed in every scene, though RL is more important, helping both parties to 'decompress', some.
[2008/09/15 8:04] Zealot Benmergui: online it is just as important emotionally
[2008/09/15 8:04] ***GA***: It certainly illustrates how powerful role play can be whether in SL or RL
[2008/09/15 8:04] You: Possibly more so, feelings can heal slower than welts!
[2008/09/15 8:05] ***EC***: hear hear
[2008/09/15 8:05] ***IM*** : girl has been in tears several times in Second Life.
[2008/09/15 8:05] ***IM*** : It seems very real at the time.
[2008/09/15 8:05] Zealot Benmergui: Even if it just a WOW sort of thing, where you discuss what happened, and the effect it had on you both
[2008/09/15 8:05] ***CU***: sl faciliates the process of psycholgical projection, and it can thus be more poweful than rl
[2008/09/15 8:05] Zealot Benmergui: smiles...This Master has been in tears in Sl more times then I can count, Miss
[2008/09/15 8:05] Pirate Russell has run thru Her share of Kleenex, as well, actually
[2008/09/15 8:06] ***IM*** nods and smiles
[2008/09/15 8:06] ***VM***: me too
[2008/09/15 8:06] Zealot Benmergui: Remember online D/s tends to jack directly into the warm gooey parts of your brain
[2008/09/15 8:06] Zealot Benmergui: in real life, there is a lot to get through first.,...
[2008/09/15 8:07] Zealot Benmergui: this corset pinches, gee, I could use a drink, Mmmm carrot cake..hey, this Dom smells funny...
[2008/09/15 8:07] ***XD***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:07] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/09/15 8:07] ***EC***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:07] Zealot Benmergui: online, you can go directly to fantasies and deepest desires
[2008/09/15 8:07] Pirate Russell is sorry she has to Leave for RL, will leave her Avi here to get the transcipt..... XOXO
[2008/09/15 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: be safe Boss
[2008/09/15 8:08] ***SS***: bye Pirate
[2008/09/15 8:08] ***GA*** smiles as Pirate leaves
[2008/09/15 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***WR***..you indicated you have both real life and online experience?
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***SS***: same here
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***WR***: yes, I have been involved in the lifestyle for some time now, and have owned an ORC bdsm channel for 12 years
[2008/09/15 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: Miss ***WR***..you indicated you have both real life and online experience?
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***SS***: same here
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***WR***: yes, I have been involved in the lifestyle for some time now, and have owned an ORC bdsm channel for 12 yers
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***WR***: years*
[2008/09/15 8:09] ***WR***: IRC sorry
[2008/09/15 8:09] Zealot Benmergui: nods..how would you compare online and rl D/s?
[2008/09/15 8:09] Zealot Benmergui: in your experience?
[2008/09/15 8:09] Zealot Benmergui: and you as well Miss ***SS***
[2008/09/15 8:10] ***SS***: well I went to rl with my Master in sl
[2008/09/15 8:10] ***SS***: and it sort of ruined my sl experience somewhat
[2008/09/15 8:10] ***WR*** smiles..well I agree with you, online can be very powerful and in some cases even more so than RL...it seems we are more relaxed at times behind the keyboard than we are in person
[2008/09/15 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: By going rl, one of you moved to be with the other?
[2008/09/15 8:10] ***SS***: well it was tricky
[2008/09/15 8:10] ***SS***: I travelled 4 hours each way
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***SS***: once a month
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***SS***: and it just became too much
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***SS2***: I have to go as well thank you it was interesting
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***WR***: I have my RL submissive with me now, after meeting in the ORC Chat room as well
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***WR***: IRC*
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***GA*** smiles at ***SS2***
[2008/09/15 8:11] ***SS***: but then I have now had an al experience that was even more intense than rl
[2008/09/15 8:11] Zealot Benmergui: *nods to Miss ***WR***...I agree..we have fewer natural defences..it is why online we are far more likely to respond to letters from Nigerian women claiming they wish to marry us, and would we send them money to invest in their late husbands mining venture
[2008/09/15 8:12] ***WR*** laughs and nods
[2008/09/15 8:12] Zealot Benmergui: So you met montly, Miss ***SS***? How did that change the Sl experience for you?
[2008/09/15 8:12] ***SS***: well I was just desperate for the physical proximity of my Master
[2008/09/15 8:13] Zealot Benmergui: nods..I understand
[2008/09/15 8:13] Zealot Benmergui: and what was this more intense experience, if I may ask?
[2008/09/15 8:13] ***SS***: I have had 2 Masters in sl
[2008/09/15 8:14] ***SS***: and this second one was powerful in mental stimualtion I suppose
[2008/09/15 8:14] ***SS***: its hard to explain
[2008/09/15 8:14] ***SS***: I am not great at explaining myself lol sorry
[2008/09/15 8:14] Zealot Benmergui: nods...different people have different skills, and we each respond to them differently
[2008/09/15 8:14] Zealot Benmergui: You are doing fine
[2008/09/15 8:14] ***SS***: yes that is it
[2008/09/15 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: so this second Master online, was more powerful emotionally then when you submitted in RL to your first master?
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***SS***: yes definately
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***GA*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***SS*** smiles
[2008/09/15 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: People often assume that anything in Real life will be better, stronger, faster, whatever...
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***HN***: because the mind makes it perfect
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***WR*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: but it depends on the individuals
[2008/09/15 8:15] ***HN***: if its not there itcan be made
[2008/09/15 8:16] Zealot Benmergui: nods...It can be..but I have seen just as many real life subs do the same
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***HN***: Its hypnosis without knowing it
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***WR*** raises her hand
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***CU***: exactly ***hypno***
[2008/09/15 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: yes Miss ***WR***
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***CU***: the two penomena are very close
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***HN***: nope the same
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***HN***: its al the mind
[2008/09/15 8:17] ***HN***: its a altered state
[2008/09/15 8:18] ***HN***: willing gone itnot
[2008/09/15 8:18] ***WR***: I would like your opinion on the mental aspect of it vs the physical, we obviously cannot really act on the physical, flogging, etc..do you find it difficult to have tat kind of experience in SL?
[2008/09/15 8:18] ***HN***: hmm this keyboard is pants lol
[2008/09/15 8:19] Zealot Benmergui: To have that sort of experience requires a lot of buold up online, more then one would find often in RL
[2008/09/15 8:19] Zealot Benmergui: and this is where the situation that Mr. Nightfire was discussing comes in
[2008/09/15 8:19] Zealot Benmergui: a sub needs to be put into a suggestable state
[2008/09/15 8:19] ***HN***: online can be much quicker
[2008/09/15 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: so that though obviously the pain isn;t real, their responce to you typing SLAP is the same as if you actually did it
[2008/09/15 8:20] ***IM*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: what matters is the reaction,. not the actual sensation
[2008/09/15 8:20] ***WR***: I have had submissives say to me...I dont knwo how to react to that, I have never experienced it
[2008/09/15 8:20] ***HN***: if the mind has done it it can recreate it
[2008/09/15 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: take them back...any one has experienced a sudden action that made them a little afraid, or ashamed..from a parent, or a lower, or a friend
[2008/09/15 8:21] Zealot Benmergui: *lover
[2008/09/15 8:21] ***WR*** nods , good idea thank you
[2008/09/15 8:21] ***GA*** nods in agreement
[2008/09/15 8:21] Zealot Benmergui: worst comes to worst, ask them to consider how they would feel if you sklapped them
[2008/09/15 8:21] ***HN***: hmm regression now lol
[2008/09/15 8:21] ***CB*** laughs
[2008/09/15 8:22] Zealot Benmergui: don;t make them bark like a chicken, and for god sake don;t tell them they were raped by their 7 uncles who then sacrified their twin brother to satan..but the idea is the same
[2008/09/15 8:22] ***CU***: its a matter of semiotics/sign/signifier- to the mind, the word and deed are the same
[2008/09/15 8:22] ***WR*** smiles
[2008/09/15 8:22] Zealot Benmergui: the mind is a wonderful sort of playground
[2008/09/15 8:23] ***HN***: its all balance
[2008/09/15 8:23] ***HN***: a little pain a little pleasure
[2008/09/15 8:23] Zealot Benmergui: the mind of a submissive is a wonderful sort of playground with lots of soft, moist bits
[2008/09/15 8:23] ***HN***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:23] Zealot Benmergui: and yes, we are now treading very close to the emotional force of attaching an idea to a symbol
[2008/09/15 8:24] ***HN***: as we all do
[2008/09/15 8:24] ***HN***: advertising
[2008/09/15 8:24] Zealot Benmergui: and that's when a subbie can get all Manchurian Candidate onyour ass
[2008/09/15 8:24] ***CU***: poetry
[2008/09/15 8:24] ***GA*** giggles
[2008/09/15 8:25] Zealot Benmergui: you just want to get your dick sucked, and next thing you know they are assaissinating presidents
[2008/09/15 8:25] ***HN***: oh I had that one
[2008/09/15 8:25] ***WR*** laughs
[2008/09/15 8:25] ***HN***: she was a good shot though
[2008/09/15 8:26] Zealot Benmergui: Thank god for that...you ever had to deal with a wounded republican? *shudder*
[2008/09/15 8:26] ***WR***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:27] Zealot Benmergui: So Miss ***SS***, Miss ***WR***, comes from two different perspectives, do you have any advice for people who may want to take an online relationship into rl?
[2008/09/15 8:27] Zealot Benmergui: *coming
[2008/09/15 8:27] ***SS***: well I have a problem Zealot
[2008/09/15 8:27] Zealot Benmergui: That is one of the most common questions I get from people in Sl..that and how do i get the box off my head.,
[2008/09/15 8:27] ***WR***: phew...be careful, take your time..do NOT go right into D/s when you first get together, get to know each other first
[2008/09/15 8:27] ***KP***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:27] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/09/15 8:28] Zealot Benmergui: nods
[2008/09/15 8:28] ***HN***: you can go much further in your mind than real so gently gently in RL
[2008/09/15 8:28] ***WR***: yes, definitely
[2008/09/15 8:28] ***HN***: if you rush it will spoil
[2008/09/15 8:29] Zealot Benmergui: yes, god yes..I have known so many couples who were fucking like rabid marmosets online..but when they met...no attraction at all
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***WR***: mmhmmm
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***KP***: seen that a lot here
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***HN***: some things best left tothe imagination
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***XD***: lol i knew people like that too
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***KP***: few worked
[2008/09/15 8:29] Zealot Benmergui: that can be at best embarasing, at worst emotionally devestating
[2008/09/15 8:29] ***HN***: easily fixed though
[2008/09/15 8:30] ***HN***: just a big grin is needed
[2008/09/15 8:30] ***HN***: even a false one like that
[2008/09/15 8:30] ***HN***: oops
[2008/09/15 8:30] Zealot Benmergui: and a tall manhatten?
[2008/09/15 8:30] ***WR***: ***SS***, you said you had a problem?
[2008/09/15 8:30] ***CU***: scuse me- must fly: my jockstraps beginning to chaff
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***HN***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***KP***: ^-
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***CU***: thansk al, thans zealot
[2008/09/15 8:31] Zealot Benmergui: Johnson's baby powder...trust me, it works
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***SS***: its ok the moment passed
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***GA*** smiles at ***CU***
[2008/09/15 8:31] ***IM***: girl first experienced D/s here in SL. Would Y/you suggest looking into a RL experience?
[2008/09/15 8:31] Zealot Benmergui: just to say you had one? No
[2008/09/15 8:32] Zealot Benmergui: if you find yourself in a situation, or meet a partner, and things develop that way in real life, then sure...
[2008/09/15 8:32] ***KP***: I'd say go with what you feel naturally to
[2008/09/15 8:32] ***KP***: not just curiosity alone
[2008/09/15 8:32] ***HN***: indeed ..submitting in sl doesnt mean you have to go RL
[2008/09/15 8:32] ***WR***: and pay attention to your gut
[2008/09/15 8:32] Zealot Benmergui: but again, I have known a lot of girls get badly messed up by seeking such things in order to feel they were completing the online experience
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***WR***: get some rl contact beforehand
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***HN***: good idea
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***HN***: goto a fetish club
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***HN***: meet some normal peeps
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***HN***: :)
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***GA*** laughs softly
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***WR***: voice, phone pics..be sure you know who you are talking to
[2008/09/15 8:33] ***IM***: So You would say it doesn't complete the SL experience?
[2008/09/15 8:34] Zealot Benmergui: if you want to see the scene in Rl, then find out what groups are in the area, find out if they have social, non sexual Munchs..the good ones do. And then go with a girlfriend, or a lover, or anyone you trust
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***HN***: ooh be careful with fone guys
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: yes it does
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: oh I thought you said
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: complicate
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: laughs
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***IM*** laughs out loud
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***SS***: oops
[2008/09/15 8:34] Zealot Benmergui: hang on...by going RL, you mean cam or phone? Or physical meeting?
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***KP***: hehehe
[2008/09/15 8:34] ***IM***: physical meeting.
[2008/09/15 8:34] Zealot Benmergui: nods
[2008/09/15 8:34] Zealot Benmergui: thought so
[2008/09/15 8:35] ***HN***: put a block on giving out your number subbies
[2008/09/15 8:35] ***WR***: just be careful..I was a sfehouse, safecall fo rthose who took online to rl
[2008/09/15 8:35] ***HN***: have some restrictions
[2008/09/15 8:35] Zealot Benmergui: Complete? No...you can have a wonderful D/s lifestyle online with never even getting the scent of leather or dominant in flagrante
[2008/09/15 8:35] ***HN***: oh stop it I can smell it
[2008/09/15 8:36] ***HN***: sniff sniff
[2008/09/15 8:36] ***XD***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:36] Zealot Benmergui: there are many many ways to protect yourself in RL meetings..and I have a feeling I will be doing a lecture on that soon now
[2008/09/15 8:36] ***WR*** nods, good idea
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***XD***: yeah, good idea
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***HN***: if you must meet do it at a hotel and tell a friend
[2008/09/15 8:37] Zealot Benmergui: no, not a hotel
[2008/09/15 8:37] Zealot Benmergui: no where with a bed oir a locking door
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***SS***: noooo coffee hehe
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***WR***: restaurant
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***SS***: much better
[2008/09/15 8:37] Zealot Benmergui: a restaurant, or the middle of a crowded square
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***WR***: public place
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***HN***: they have bars
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***KP***: public place like the centre circle at wembly stadium
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***WR***: lol Kenn
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***SS***: laughs
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***HN***: good idea
[2008/09/15 8:37] ***HN***: bring a ball
[2008/09/15 8:38] ***KP***: and shin pads
[2008/09/15 8:38] ***HN***: take it off the gag
[2008/09/15 8:38] ***SS***: laughs
[2008/09/15 8:38] Zealot Benmergui: if you meet and it is So good you must fuck that day, plenty of places to find after the fact...a hotel raises an expectation in him, and a sense of guilt for saying no in her
[2008/09/15 8:38] Zealot Benmergui: after all, we met in a hotel....
[2008/09/15 8:38] ***IM***: Wow.
[2008/09/15 8:38] ***KP*** nods in agreement
[2008/09/15 8:38] Zealot Benmergui: this sounds odd..but you a sub, not a tramp
[2008/09/15 8:39] ***GA*** giggles but agrees with the sentiment
[2008/09/15 8:39] ***KP***: after all - you wouldnt arrange a first off vanilla date by breakfast or dinner because of perceived expectations - lunch
[2008/09/15 8:39] ***WR***: exactly
[2008/09/15 8:39] ***IM***: unless you charge by the hour.
[2008/09/15 8:40] ***WR*** laughs..well there is that
[2008/09/15 8:40] Zealot Benmergui: and then it's not a date, it is a consultation
[2008/09/15 8:40] ***HN***: the min
[2008/09/15 8:40] ***KP***: or if it's breakfast and you are arranging after 9am
[2008/09/15 8:40] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/09/15 8:40] Zealot Benmergui: if you bring the same common sense you wopuld to a vanilla date, you willbe fine..unfortunetly, many subs don't
[2008/09/15 8:41] Zealot Benmergui: Master said not to tell anyone where I was going, and to bring all my stocks and bonds
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***HN***: firearm helps
[2008/09/15 8:41] Zealot Benmergui: and i am a good submissive...
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***WR*** rolls her eyes, I have heard that before too
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***KP***: and you forgot your sort code?
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***KP***: tut tut
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***KP***: :)
[2008/09/15 8:41] ***HN***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:42] ***IM***: girl finds she loses a lot of sense of what is right and wrong, proper and improper when with her Mistress. girl can imagine making such a mistake if Mistress were dishonest.
[2008/09/15 8:42] ***KP***: yup heard some sl ones like that - horrendous
[2008/09/15 8:42] Zealot Benmergui: nods...which is why first of all, take care with who you submit to..and second, bring a friend
[2008/09/15 8:42] ***HN***: indeed
[2008/09/15 8:42] ***GA*** nods
[2008/09/15 8:42] ***HN***: and a bat
[2008/09/15 8:43] ***HN***: well you never know
[2008/09/15 8:43] ***KP*** pats his friend Mr Tazer
[2008/09/15 8:43] ***HN***: lol
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***HN***: strokes sa80
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***KP***: :)
[2008/09/15 8:44] Zealot Benmergui: And Now I fear I must flee back to stately Benmergui manor..but first, next Mondat at 7 Am Sl time, I will be lecturing on "Is it supposed to be this soft?" Is there a right and wrong way to do D/s?
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***KP*** chuckles at the double entendre
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***HN***: ty for the Meeting sir
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***WR***: can I park my av here to listen to that, i willbe at work
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***SS***: awww Kenn laughs
[2008/09/15 8:44] ***IM***: Thank you, Sir.
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***GA***: Thank you for the information Sir, it was very enlightening and entertaining
[2008/09/15 8:45] Zealot Benmergui: and then, one Monday after, not sure depending on how the High Holidays fall, i will do a lecture on RL safety
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***KP***: thank you Zealot - just wish I could have made it along earlier
[2008/09/15 8:45] Evelin Constantine: thank you very much Sir Zealot
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***IM***: Miss Pirate does transcripts of every lecture at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***WR***: excellent dicsussion
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***HN***: good show sir
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***HN***: bye all
[2008/09/15 8:45] Venessa Moonites: claps
[2008/09/15 8:45] ***WR***: thank you ***IM***
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***HN***: see ya sam
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***WR***: bye all!
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***SS***: bye Hypno
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***HN***: bye Kenn
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***KP***: tc Hypno
[2008/09/15 8:46] ***HN***: be nice to her ;)
[2008/09/15 8:46] Sara Dressler: thank you for the class
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***KP***: just nice? - was gonna be excellent
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***KP***: :)
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***HN***: :)
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***SS*** grins
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***XD***: i'm glad i came, i learned a lot today
[2008/09/15 8:47] ***IM***: See Y/you all next week, and don't forget, Miss Pirate has a class tomorrow at 7:00 AM too.
[2008/09/15 8:47] Zealot Benmergui: My pleasure