The Collar: Symbol and Substance 9/8/08

[2008/09/08 6:09] Zealot Benmergui: OK, off we go
[2008/09/08 6:09] Zealot Benmergui: Welcome A/all to the House of V’s College of Kink. My name is Zealot Benmergui, Baron BardHaven and I will be your host today. The topic for today is The Collar: Symbol and Substance and we will be looking a little bit at the tradition of collaring, what it means and what it doesn’t mean in a D/s relationship. Please note that for the purpose of clarity, I will tend to use “she” to refer to a submissive and “he” to refer to a Dominant, but either can be of any gender.
[2008/09/08 6:10] Zealot Benmergui: Let's start out with a bit of history, shall we?
[2008/09/08 6:10] Zealot Benmergui: Historically, collars have been used to denote slavery since before the age of Rome, and in fact many museums from around the world have excellent examples of them on display…unscripted of course, and few if any have things like Lord Draco’s Slut Toy inscribed on them. However, there IS a historical precedence for the collar as a symbol of a person being owned or controlled by another, just as there is historical precedence for certain subs being sertains Dom's Slut Toys.
[2008/09/08 6:11] ***RV***: lol
[2008/09/08 6:11] Zealot Benmergui: The collar as most of you likely see it, a neckpiece of leather, metal or both designed to be used both as a restraint and a symbol of slavery or submission, comes down to us mainly from literature. The first source of modern collar imagery comes from what I feel is the Ur-text of modern D/s, Histoire d'O or The Story of O, written by Dominique Aury aka Pauline Réage aka Anne Desclos in the mid fifties.
[2008/09/08 6:11] Zealot Benmergui: When one is dodging obscenity charges, one goes through a lot of names.
[2008/09/08 6:12] Zealot Benmergui: I won’t go into the plot here, and if you haven’t read it you should or watch the cartoon every Saturday morning on ABC this season…but it brought the concept of sexual domination into the modern consciousness. After the Story of O, modern collars also owe major debts to Norman’s Gor books, begun in the 1960s, and the gay leather movement of the 70s. Both were major parts of promoting collars as part of modern day “kink” and by making them infamous in mainstream culture, porn and in junior high school bathrooms worldwide.
[2008/09/08 6:13] Zealot Benmergui: Sources like that connected to what both we in the lifestyle and the mainstream envision when we discuss a BDSM collar, but not really to what they mean in modern D/s relationships. D/s as a lifestyle is far more diverse now then was ever imagined in Gor or Roissey and encompasses lots of different personalities, goals and fetishes. Of course, there are people who are involved in Gorean relationships or strict power exchange as was part of Story of O, but the majority of people are involved in Chinese Menu style D/s…one from Column A, two from Column B. Therefore, the meaning and significance of collars can vary relationship to relationship.
[2008/09/08 6:14] ***RV***: moo goo gai pan d/s
[2008/09/08 6:14] ***RV*** grins
[2008/09/08 6:14] Zealot Benmergui: smiles
[2008/09/08 6:14] Zealot Benmergui: To people who are just involved in BDSM as a sexual preference, a collar is just a toy used to hold someone in place. To someone involved in Domination and submission, a collar is a symbol of commitment or a statement of being part of the D/s lifestyle, to a Master and slave, it is ownership…for some, it is all three or any combination thereof...or like, just a really bitchin’ choker.
[2008/09/08 6:15] ***GH***: hehe
[2008/09/08 6:15] Zealot Benmergui: However, in Second Life and through the online BDSM community the Collar tends to take on even greater significance. With the lack of direct physical contact, and often limited time, symbols such as collars can become a vital lifeline and connection between Dominant and submissive. They can become a reminder of an often tenuous and hard to define relationship. In addition, certain collars may have certain roles.
[2008/09/08 6:16] Zealot Benmergui: There are such things as Collars of Consideration which some people use when thinking if a relationship suits both parties, or a Collar of Training for a learning situation. There is also a Collar of Protection, which some girls use mainly to hold off other men offering them collars, or banging them on the head with virtual clubs and forcing them on them if they are in Gor. Finally, a Formal Collar is usually considered to be a permanent expression of submission or slavery.
[2008/09/08 6:18] Zealot Benmergui: To all who wear one, or give one, a collar is a potent and powerful symbol of possession, or commitment, or pleasure…or even of personal preference or style. In the end, that symbol can be anything, not just a neck piece. Collars tend to be easiest however since they are more or less accepted as the de facto BDSM relationship symbol, like a kinky wedding ring.
[2008/09/08 6:18] Zealot Benmergui: Therefore, the nature of a collar is highly individual, changing depending on the people involved, and the nature of their relationship. There is no RIGHT or WRONG collar. What works for one person may be anathema to another and what turns one girl on may turn another off, and cause yet a third to contact the FBI. However, I have a few thoughts on what characteristics make for a successful collaring, and which to avoid.
[2008/09/08 6:19] Zealot Benmergui: First of all, a Collar should be a serious step in a relationship, whatever the relationship. It should be given only after a great deal of contemplation and thought and much discussion. ..and never until things are quite certain and well understood. When a formal collar is offered and accepted, there should be no surprises or secrets if possible…it is the end of one phase of a relationship and the beginning of a new one. We have all seen the chaos caused by collars given too casually, and then removed too easily. Such behavior undermines the entire structure of D/s in that it cheapens something which many hold to be sacred.
[2008/09/08 6:20] ***RV*** nods
[2008/09/08 6:20] Zealot Benmergui: Secondly, a collar should not be given quickly. I know we are all brought up on the concept of whirlwind courtships and getting swept off our feet…but in practical terms getting swept off your feet means you are about to fall down the stairs. Falling hard for someone is a great excuse to spend the weekend lashed to the couch getting your brains fucked out…not a good reason to accept a collar.
[2008/09/08 6:21] Zealot Benmergui: A collar given in haste is usually a collar that won't last overly long, since all of the real work in the relationship hasn;t even been started yet.
[2008/09/08 6:21] Zealot Benmergui: Think of a collar like a wedding ring, and remember what we are taught by television about accepting sudden proposals in a wave of excitement. You will soon either be an alibi, or a plot device after asking “Honey, what is this big blood soaked mailbag doing in the back of your boat?” or “Why no, I have never thought about bearing Satan’s child, why?”
[2008/09/08 6:22] Zealot Benmergui: Lastly, both parties should be sure what it means to them, and what it means to the other person involved. I have seen too many couples torn apart because one expected a collar to mean something the other wouldn’t have even thought of. Symbols are great, as long as they mean the same to all involved..otherwise what is supposed to give unity and security will just sow confusion and pain.
[2008/09/08 6:23] Zealot Benmergui: Collars are often spoken of by submissives as their starry eyed goal, the way some women in real-life crave a white picket fence or Johnny Depp covered in cocoa powder. One should never lose sight of the fact that a collar should be an expression of a mature, full relationship between a Dom and a sub, not as a replacement for the same.
[2008/09/08 6:24] Zealot Benmergui: And with that, I open the discussion to the floor..Any questions, comments or issues we have with Collars or the concepts behind them are fair game.
[2008/09/08 6:25] Zealot Benmergui: By the way, in the interests of credit where credit is due, this topic was suggested by Miss Arden hax
[2008/09/08 6:25] ***VW***: May I ask You from Your experience, what are necessary conditions You give a formal collar?
[2008/09/08 6:26] ***CH***: to know the subbie ?
[2008/09/08 6:26] ***VW***: I will understand if this is too private question
[2008/09/08 6:26] Zealot Benmergui: Again, it is different for different relationships..but I think the most important aspect is that it is in the best interests of both patries, and that the entire relationship has been carefully considered.
[2008/09/08 6:27] Zealot Benmergui: A collar should be something that helps a submissive, and a Dominant for that matter, grow, the relationship has to be right, and be all that they both need before it is formalized by a collar in that way.
[2008/09/08 6:27] ***VW*** thinks deeply about this
[2008/09/08 6:28] Zealot Benmergui: *nods..KNowing the submissive is very important, so is a Dominant knowing themselves...
[2008/09/08 6:28] Zealot Benmergui: Collaring is something that should never be taken or treated lightly, or given assuming that everything wrong can be worked out afterwards
[2008/09/08 6:28] ***BG***: both are equally important. The Dom needs the sub as must as she needs the Dom
[2008/09/08 6:28] ***VW***: should one side explain to another why He/she does not see the need of collar anymore?
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***VW***: if it happens?
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***AR***: how do you get to know the sub, in what way?
[2008/09/08 6:29] Zealot Benmergui: Absolutely, they need to be in sync
[2008/09/08 6:29] Pirate Russell: It's not unlike dating, and the collar a ring
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***VW***: thank You
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***RK***: by spending time together, talking, making love, acting out scenes
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***GA*** raises her hand to ask a question
[2008/09/08 6:29] ***AR***: I ask Sir Zealot, how he try to know the sub
[2008/09/08 6:30] ***BG***: communication is the key
[2008/09/08 6:30] ***RK***: for me a collar is a sign of commitment, but as zealot said, every D/s relationship is diferent and the "requirments" or every couple will be different
[2008/09/08 6:30] ***CH***: ask
[2008/09/08 6:31] ***AR***: good point, Sir ***CH***, asking,,,,smiles
[2008/09/08 6:31] Zealot Benmergui: Much the same as in any relationship...shared interests, discussions, tiem spent...it is a progression, it is different for each couple, and sometimes the path to a collar does not go smoothly, or the way anyone hoped...
[2008/09/08 6:31] ***GA*** keeps her hand raised and waits her turn to ask
[2008/09/08 6:32] Zealot Benmergui: Yes Miss ***GA***
[2008/09/08 6:32] ***GA***: If the sub feels that he/she has reached a critcal point of committment to the Dom/me, would it be correct for the sub to mention a step towards collaring, or is this something the Dom/me only should discern?
[2008/09/08 6:32] ***RK*** smiles at the subtlety of Gabrielle's question
[2008/09/08 6:32] Pirate Russell wold LOVE to be told!
[2008/09/08 6:32] Zealot Benmergui: That depends on tthe relationship, and the Dom...in most cases I would say a Sub can certainly bring it up for discussion
[2008/09/08 6:33] ***IM***: That would depend on the relationship.
[2008/09/08 6:33] Pirate Russell: I can't read minds in RL, sure can't see thru plain text most of the time
[2008/09/08 6:33] ***RK***: a clever sub will make her Dom think that the idea is his :-))
[2008/09/08 6:33] ***RV***: i think it's important to remember that just because a couple gets together with collaring the eventual goal, it might not always happen. for instance, i just gave my girl a collar of consideration ... we both know that a formal collar isn't a guarantee. it's what we're working toward, but the time may come when we decide not to move forward for some reason.
[2008/09/08 6:33] Pirate Russell: Exactly, We chase y'all 'till y'all catch Us
[2008/09/08 6:33] ***RV*** grins
[2008/09/08 6:34] Zealot Benmergui: Nods...it is always good for a sub to try to put into words where they are at in a realtionship, and what they wish the next step to be, just as Doms need to do that
[2008/09/08 6:34] ***AR***: what about a Dom telling a sub, he want to collar her, and she just have to wait, and then he change is mind. What doest that tell about the Dom, Sir Zealot?
[2008/09/08 6:34] ***GA*** smiles at E/each for sharing T/their opionions
[2008/09/08 6:34] ***VW***: listens carefully
[2008/09/08 6:35] Zealot Benmergui: It says that the Dom viewed the matter seriously, and with proper gravity...and in the end thought it best for both not to continue the relationship in that direction
[2008/09/08 6:36] Zealot Benmergui: what would be wrong in that situation is continuing despite those feelings, simply to reach a "goal"...just like not all relationships in the vanilla world should end in marraige, no matter what the hopes at the beginning, so to is true of collars
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***VW***: raises a hand
[2008/09/08 6:36] Zealot Benmergui: Yes Miss Valpole
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***VW***: thank You
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***SM***: oh lag.....
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***VW***: in this case, promises should not be given, Sir?
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***EA***: lag still??....It's probably worse up there though
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***SM***: House of V is often really fulllllllll
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***SM***: lol
[2008/09/08 6:36] ***VW***: it would make sub be hurt if Dom changes his mind
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***CH***: you should not promise what is out of reach
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***EA***: oops...sorry Seera
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***VW*** agree completely
[2008/09/08 6:37] Zealot Benmergui: I can see that is so...but no one starts out to fail..one always hopes for, even expects the best...but Masters, like all people, are fallable and often less then perfect.
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***VW*** smiles
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***CH***: i am just me:-)
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***RK***: Zealot, surely not :-)
[2008/09/08 6:37] ***VW*** thinks NOBODY is perfect
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***EC***: my Master is perfect for me
[2008/09/08 6:38] Pirate Russell IS! LOL
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***IM*** nods
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***TN***: You know, it's actually pretty funny that because I don't wear a collar people automatically think I'm not spoken for. I don't know how many different ways I could put it in my profile that I have a Master that I've chosen to submit to.
[2008/09/08 6:38] Zealot Benmergui: It's true..I have seen Masterly imperfection...in fact, I have often embodied it
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***AR***: but I think a Dom, not shall give any promisses about a collar, before he is totally clear
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***GA*** smiles at Evie and River
[2008/09/08 6:38] ***ML*** purrs and agrees
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***AR***: then the consideration to be collard make alot more sense
[2008/09/08 6:39] Zealot Benmergui: I think Miss ***AR***, you are absolutely correct...
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***IM***'s cuffs: Pirate Russell secures ***IM*** with their hands behind their head.
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***AR***: thank you
[2008/09/08 6:39] Zealot Benmergui: and the concept gives me a great deqal to think about
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***AR***: then I did have what I came fore
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***RK***: Aiko, there are many so called "Masters" in SL who use the mask of D/s to hide nothing but a bullying manipulative nature
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***IM***'s cuffs: Pirate Russell kicks ***IM***'s legs out and chains them.
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***AR***: I need to atend to rl
[2008/09/08 6:39] ***VW***: Hugs aiko
[2008/09/08 6:40] Zealot Benmergui: Be well Miss ***AR***
[2008/09/08 6:40] ***AR***: and to you for admit you did fail to me Sir Zealot
[2008/09/08 6:40] Zealot Benmergui: Thank you
[2008/09/08 6:40] ***VW***: take care dear friend
[2008/09/08 6:40] ***AR***: I will :-)
[2008/09/08 6:40] Pirate Russell: Not to mention easy sex, cuz he 'owns' it
[2008/09/08 6:40] ***RK***: yes, Pirate, that too
[2008/09/08 6:41] ***CH***: freesex:-(
[2008/09/08 6:41] Zealot Benmergui: When one deals in matters of the heart, whether those wear collars, or rings, or big signs that say Slut Free to Good Home...nothing is simple, and we all are fallible
[2008/09/08 6:41] ***RV*** agrees completely
[2008/09/08 6:41] Zealot Benmergui: which is why collars should be considered so carefully, and taken so seriously
[2008/09/08 6:42] ***CH***: I am VERY careful....
[2008/09/08 6:42] ***CH***: too many fools around in sl
[2008/09/08 6:42] Pirate Russell: Or atleast agreed between the Dom(me) and sub that it IS serious. If Y/ou decide that it's lighter, it's your relationship, ROCK ON!
[2008/09/08 6:42] ***ML*** winks at ***TN***
[2008/09/08 6:43] Zealot Benmergui: even that Pirate, is taking it seriously
[2008/09/08 6:43] Zealot Benmergui: you too the time to decide what it means to both of you
[2008/09/08 6:43] ***TN*** winks back at Mercy and blows her a kiss
[2008/09/08 6:43] Zealot Benmergui: *took
[2008/09/08 6:43] ***GA*** thinks that like many marriages that work for many years, people often then go their own ways. It hurts when engagement or wedding bands are removed. So too with collars.
[2008/09/08 6:44] Pirate Russell: True, the relationship should ALWAYS be defined, the seriousness for the collar is negotiable
[2008/09/08 6:44] Zealot Benmergui: the worst is "Damn, how do I get in her panties..I know, I'll give her a collar..." "Oh thank you noble Master, now I will be happy forever and ever"
[2008/09/08 6:44] Zealot Benmergui: three weeks later, Master has yet to log back on
[2008/09/08 6:44] ***RV***: lol
[2008/09/08 6:44] ***TN*** laughs out loud
[2008/09/08 6:44] ***RK***: it all boils down to mutual respect and trust. There are no "rules" to go by apart from those
[2008/09/08 6:45] Zealot Benmergui: I agree...rules..icky
[2008/09/08 6:45] ***VW***: /whispears : Thank You for the class, I have to leave, Sir
[2008/09/08 6:46] Zealot Benmergui: and part of respect and trust is also admitting error, failure even..and being clear sighted about what is best for all involved..as hard or as painful as that is.
[2008/09/08 6:46] ***VW***: .release
[2008/09/08 6:46] ***TN***: Heh, yeah rules suck but without them, we'd have no stucture or anything to go by as a standard of what is expected.
[2008/09/08 6:46] ***TN***: If there were no rules, we'd all be running amuck
[2008/09/08 6:46] Zealot Benmergui: Of course Miss ***VW***..thank you for being here
[2008/09/08 6:46] ***VW***: smiles and waves
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***RK***: rules can be established within each individual relationship. But there are no external rules that should be applied
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***GA*** smiles as Evie comes back
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***TN***: Yep, I agree :)
[2008/09/08 6:47] Zealot Benmergui: Except "Give Zealot all the bases"
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***TN***: hahaha
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***TN***: That goes without saying I'm sure Sir
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***RV***: all your base are belong ... oh wait, sorry
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***RV***: different class
[2008/09/08 6:47] ***TN*** winks
[2008/09/08 6:47] Zealot Benmergui: Darn tootin it does
[2008/09/08 6:48] ***RK***: welcome back Evie
[2008/09/08 6:48] Zealot Benmergui: Of course, there ARE the cases of collars given in a day working out very well for all involved
[2008/09/08 6:49] Zealot Benmergui: The same way you will occasionally see someone on Fox News saying "Hell, I was so drunk I thought she was her brother when i said I do, but over 45 years, she has taught me to love pussy..."
[2008/09/08 6:49] ***RK***: I must admit that my sub Evie and I almost fall into that category
[2008/09/08 6:49] ***RV***: omg, lol
[2008/09/08 6:49] ***GH***: haha
[2008/09/08 6:49] Pirate Russell: True, I had to buy ***IM*** from a friend, without the normal 'aquaintance period' and W/we're working out famously
[2008/09/08 6:49] ***SM***: ***IM***?
[2008/09/08 6:49] ***ML*** grins at the 45 years
[2008/09/08 6:49] Zealot Benmergui: Going Out of Business" sale?
[2008/09/08 6:50] ***GH***: jeeeesh
[2008/09/08 6:50] ***RK***: but we both had a "feeling" that all would be well, so we took the chance and it worked
[2008/09/08 6:50] Zealot Benmergui: Becoming a Priest, all subs must GO GO GO!
[2008/09/08 6:50] Pirate Russell: Not far from wrong, on of My girls owned her, and didn't want to be a switch any longer, and I didn't want to lose her from My Family
[2008/09/08 6:50] Zealot Benmergui: smiles
[2008/09/08 6:50] Pirate Russell: Best 2 lindens I ever spent!
[2008/09/08 6:50] ***IM*** groans
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***RK***: that much???
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***ML*** laughs
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***RV***: hell i got my collar during a scene, and two years later i'm still wearing it
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***GH***: omy
[2008/09/08 6:51] Zealot Benmergui: and she got a new couch thrown in
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***IM*** tries to hide her face
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***SM***: oh there is ***IM***....sorry .... :)
[2008/09/08 6:51] ***RK***: lol, Zealot, seems like all us Dom/mes know that we SHOULD take plenty of time, but hell, we just jump right in......
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***SM***: lol
[2008/09/08 6:52] Zealot Benmergui: absolutely
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***EC***: and I'm so glad you did Master
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***TN***: Lord knows I've got the patience of a saint now as long as I've waited.
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***RK***: life in SL burns very fast
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***TN***: haha
[2008/09/08 6:52] Zealot Benmergui: I know it is a problem of mine...one I have been working on for some time...the tendency to want to make everything better, all the time
[2008/09/08 6:52] ***TN*** nods to River..."yes, SL is like dog years!"
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***RK***: yes, i can agree with that
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***ML*** sniffles unfortunately
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***TN***: or in Mercy's case....kitty years?
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***ML*** grins
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***TN*** blows a kiss at her kitty friend
[2008/09/08 6:53] ***ML*** catches it and saves it for later
[2008/09/08 6:54] Zealot Benmergui: smiles as he watches kisses fly back and forth
[2008/09/08 6:54] ***TN***: haha, we are very affectionate on this side of the room Sir
[2008/09/08 6:54] ***GA*** wonders how high these kisses are that she can't catch them
[2008/09/08 6:54] ***RK*** caresses his lovely sub's head
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***RK***: and blows a kiss to his pet
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***GA*** catches it and tucks it away
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***RV***: blows a kiss to Zealot ... doesn't want him to feel left out
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***GA*** giggles
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***TN*** wonders if this is going to turn into a big orgy now
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***RV***: lmao
[2008/09/08 6:55] ***RK*** draws the line at tickling Zealot's chin
[2008/09/08 6:56] Zealot Benmergui wiggles
[2008/09/08 6:56] Zealot Benmergui: ...*coughs*..ok, going on
[2008/09/08 6:56] ***ML*** licks her lips
[2008/09/08 6:56] Pirate Russell gathers up girl's ponytail, and toys with it idly
[2008/09/08 6:56] Zealot Benmergui: funny..you say the word Orgy, and people start sizing up first targets
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***SM***: hee heee
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***TN*** grins
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***GH***: speak for yourself Sir,lmao
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***SM***: I was just going to dive in! lol
[2008/09/08 6:57] Pirate Russell has been told, that all Men are pigs! They size up every woman and imagine what it'd be like to sleep with her.
[2008/09/08 6:57] Zealot Benmergui: that is true
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***RV*** coughs and mutters ... women do that too
[2008/09/08 6:57] ***IM***: Pigs do that too, Mistress?
[2008/09/08 6:58] ***TN***: haha, I was just gonna say the same thing ***RV***!
[2008/09/08 6:58] Pirate Russell: SHHHHHH, ***RV***!
[2008/09/08 6:58] ***RV*** grins
[2008/09/08 6:58] Zealot Benmergui: I do not know a woman I have met in Rl that I haven;t considers 1) what they would look like nude, and 2) what they would be like in bed
[2008/09/08 6:58] Pirate Russell: I looked at you and thougth about it! :P
[2008/09/08 6:58] ***PM***: Pirate, you say that like its a bad thing! *smirks* LOL (most are, unfortunately)
[2008/09/08 6:58] Zealot Benmergui: I consider it Due Diligence
[2008/09/08 6:58] ***RV***: the thing about women is that most of us can look at both sexes and wonder
[2008/09/08 6:58] ***SM***: lol
[2008/09/08 6:59] ***TN*** smiles and nods
[2008/09/08 6:59] Pirate Russell: Exactly!
[2008/09/08 6:59] ***ML***: lol sooo true ***RV***!!
[2008/09/08 6:59] Zealot Benmergui looks down and won;t go there
[2008/09/08 6:59] ***RV*** grins and sizes up most of the room
[2008/09/08 7:01] Zealot Benmergui: Well, if we have exhausted collar issues, before we move on to the group sex, are there any other points or discussions?
[2008/09/08 7:02] ***IM***: is there a protocol for removing and returning a collar, Sir?
[2008/09/08 7:02] ***TN*** raises her hand...."I call shotgun with Mercy for group sex!"
[2008/09/08 7:02] Zealot Benmergui: Softgun is called...
[2008/09/08 7:02] ***TN*** giggles
[2008/09/08 7:02] Zealot Benmergui: and as for a way to return a collar..very carefully
[2008/09/08 7:02] Zealot Benmergui: with as much dignity as can be mustered
[2008/09/08 7:03] ***GA***: And in person if at all possible Sir
[2008/09/08 7:03] ***GA*** smiles softly
[2008/09/08 7:03] Zealot Benmergui: though sadly, most girls who remove their collars have no choice but to simply remove it and return it, as the Dom in question is long gone
[2008/09/08 7:03] Zealot Benmergui: 80 percent of all failed collars are due to abandoment, or thereabouts
[2008/09/08 7:03] ***GA*** smiles a soft sad smile: Very true Sir
[2008/09/08 7:04] ***RK***: where does that statistic come from Zealot?
[2008/09/08 7:04] Zealot Benmergui: or result in abandonment and alting, so as to not have to deal with pain or upset
[2008/09/08 7:04] Zealot Benmergui: 10 years onling, estimating from what I have seen
[2008/09/08 7:04] Zealot Benmergui: *online
[2008/09/08 7:04] ***RK***: ok, thx
[2008/09/08 7:04] Zealot Benmergui: sadly we have no census data
[2008/09/08 7:04] Zealot Benmergui: it would be great if we did
[2008/09/08 7:05] Zealot Benmergui: the closest we get to that is the Linden Labs unpartnering email which basically consists of "Dude, you are a loser..a SINGLE Loser...BUURRNNNNN"
[2008/09/08 7:05] ***RK***: lol
[2008/09/08 7:05] ***GH***: haha
[2008/09/08 7:06] Zealot Benmergui: I framed mine
[2008/09/08 7:06] ***ML***: lmao
[2008/09/08 7:08] ***IM***: Is it common for people to get partnered when they wear a collar?
[2008/09/08 7:08] Zealot Benmergui: depends..I did, but for specific reasons
[2008/09/08 7:08] Zealot Benmergui: but I have not seen many who have done so
[2008/09/08 7:09] ***RK***: partnership seems a little vanilla somehow
[2008/09/08 7:09] ***SM***: hee heee yes...lol
[2008/09/08 7:09] ***RK***: the collar is the D/s equivalent I feel
[2008/09/08 7:09] Pirate Russell: unless You are partnered with Your "First girl"
[2008/09/08 7:09] ***GA***: I have a SL who has recently been released (mutual decision), but her and her Master partnered in the same week as the collaring. They were together almost a year SL.
[2008/09/08 7:09] Zealot Benmergui: nods..and since partnership has no real standing..it is usually ignored
[2008/09/08 7:10] Pirate Russell is VERY committed to Her partner, two and I have been together, one way or another, for nearly 3 yrs
[2008/09/08 7:13] ***RK***: congratulations Pirate, thats pretty impressive in SL
[2008/09/08 7:13] Pirate Russell: Thanks, I'm IN LOVE with her in RL, too, and if Hubby'd share, she'd move here and serve us as a RL sub
[2008/09/08 7:13] ***ML***: huggy wont share Miss?
[2008/09/08 7:14] ***ML***: hubby*
[2008/09/08 7:14] Pirate Russell: Nope, he's monogamous, where I'm polyamorous
[2008/09/08 7:14] Pirate Russell: So I have SL to exercize that part of Me, and we're happily married 7 yrs today
[2008/09/08 7:14] ***GH***: congrats
[2008/09/08 7:14] Pirate Russell: Thank,s hun
[2008/09/08 7:15] ***GA*** smiles brightly
[2008/09/08 7:15] ***GH***: yw Miss
[2008/09/08 7:16] ***RK***: interesting scenario
[2008/09/08 7:16] ***SM***: fairly normal scenario from what I have seen on SL...
[2008/09/08 7:16] Zealot Benmergui: Well, as we are winding up, let me just state that next week's lecture will move back to 7AM Sl time...and will be titled "Yin and Yang - Lifestyle vs Roleplay D/s"
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***RV***: thank you for the wonderful lecture Zealot
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***SM***: its been very interesting! thankyou!
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***EC***: Thank you Sir Zealot
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***GA*** appluads warmly
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***RK***: thanks Zealot, very interesting and thoughtful
[2008/09/08 7:17] Pirate Russell: Guess I need to decide what tomorrow's class @ 7 will be, too!
[2008/09/08 7:17] ***PM***: Very well stated and played around. Thanks so much.
[2008/09/08 7:17] Zealot Benmergui: You maynow return to your regularly sceheduled debauchery
[2008/09/08 7:17] Pirate Russell: he he, it's prolly bonna be "submission"
[2008/09/08 7:18] ***SM***: And thankyou Pirate for the companionship of your warm hip...lol
[2008/09/08 7:18] Pirate Russell: ANYtime! I share body heat fairly freely!
[2008/09/08 7:18] ***SM***: hee hee
[2008/09/08 7:19] ***ML***: Ty Sir for a wonderful discussion
[2008/09/08 7:19] ***ML***: a pleasure as always to hear
[2008/09/08 7:19] ***TN***: Thank you, Sir. I managed to get at least half of it since I got here late.
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***SM*** scootches over a little to press against Pirates thigh before rising to stretch
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***ML***: i will fill you in later ***TN*** no worries ;)
[2008/09/08 7:20] Zealot Benmergui: I have the log if you need it, and Pirate will be placing it on the website as well
[2008/09/08 7:20] Pirate Russell: ***TN***ini, the transcript will be at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com tomorrow or Wed
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***TN***: oooh, fill me in huh?
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***TN***: promise?? *wink*
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***SM***: farewell all....nice to meet you all...
[2008/09/08 7:20] Zealot Benmergui: Well, that shotgun has to go somewhere
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***ML*** PURRRS LouD.. =(^,^)=
[2008/09/08 7:20] Zealot Benmergui: Give her both barrels, Miss ***ML***
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***GH***: Maowwrrlll..
[2008/09/08 7:20] ***ML***: ohhh im already starting it
[2008/09/08 7:21] ***GA***: NIce to meet you too ***SM***:)
[2008/09/08 7:21] Pirate Russell: Sit with Me ANYtime ***SM***;-)
[2008/09/08 7:21] ***ML***: blows several smooches to ***TN***
[2008/09/08 7:21] ***ML***: yes Sir ;)
[2008/09/08 7:22] ***ML***: slowly careeses kittys leg.. did you get your questions answered?