Bondage - 9/23/08

[2008/09/23 7:15] Pirate Russell: Ok, please take all cross talk to IM, and all collar, etc commands to the secondary channels!
[2008/09/23 7:16] Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink!
[2008/09/23 7:16] Pirate Russell: My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor.
[2008/09/23 7:16] Pirate Russell: I have been in SL for nearly 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
[2008/09/23 7:16] Pirate Russell: Our topic today: Bondage
[2008/09/23 7:16] Pirate Russell: I would like to preface this with My usual, EVERY releationship is as different as those that are in it.
[2008/09/23 7:17] Pirate Russell: If you look up "bondage" in the dictionary, you might find definitions like "slavery" or "servitude" and indeed that's what the word means to some people.
[2008/09/23 7:17] Pirate Russell: To others, it means simply being restrained in some ways, "giving up some amount of control".
[2008/09/23 7:17] Pirate Russell: Types of Bondage submissives
[2008/09/23 7:17] Pirate Russell: People are into bondage for different reasons, what are they?
[2008/09/23 7:17] Pirate Russell: Why does a particular submissive want to get tied up?
[2008/09/23 7:18] Pirate Russell: It's a very fundamental and important question but one that's rarely asked and often difficult for the submissive to answer.
[2008/09/23 7:18] Pirate Russell: ~submissive/slave
[2008/09/23 7:18] Pirate Russell: This person is mainly interested in submitting to the Dominant. The act of submission is their main turn-on and the Dom is their main focus.
[2008/09/23 7:18] Pirate Russell: They enjoy being "used" for someone else's pleasure (although most also expect to also receive pleasure themselves).
[2008/09/23 7:18] Pirate Russell: For a serious submissive, physical bondage isn't all that important for most scenes, as the "bondage" can just as easily be psychological (i.e. the Dominant orders them not to move from a given position).
[2008/09/23 7:19] Pirate Russell: ~Loss of Control Lover
[2008/09/23 7:19] Pirate Russell: This person is very different from the submissive/slave.
[2008/09/23 7:19] Pirate Russell: They don't so much submit to the Dominant, as submit to the bondage.
[2008/09/23 7:19] Pirate Russell: They want to feel as out-of-control as possible. They view bondage as the primary means for the Dominant to make them feel as helpless as possible, rather than as an end in itself.
[2008/09/23 7:19] Pirate Russell: They often love severe bondage like sensory deprivation and mummification. They might judge a hood or gag by its effectiveness not what it looks like or what it's made out of.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: They like the bondage inescapable and may play without a safeword to end the scene.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: ~Endorphin junkie.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: This person is subtly different from the others. They crave a very specific kind of intensity most of us call pain.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: They're unique enough to deserve their own category. For them, bondage opens the door for various pain scenes.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: For example, bondage may be required to hold an Endorphin junkie in place for a heavy whipping which in turn creates the endorphin rush they desire.
[2008/09/23 7:20] Pirate Russell: The endorphins are what drive them while the bondage is often necessary to get there.
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: Bondage can be divided into six main categories:
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that pulls parts of the body together (rope, straps, harnesses, handcuffs, shackles, etc).
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that spreads parts of the body apart (spreader bars, x-frames, four post beds, etc).
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that ties the body down to another object (such as chairs or stocks, posts, etc).
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that suspends the body from another object (suspension bondage).
[2008/09/23 7:21] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that restricts normal movement (hobble skirts, handcuffs, pony harness, etc).
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: * Bondage that wraps the whole body or a part of it in bindings such as cloth or plastic (saran wrap or cling film "mummification") as well as sleepsack bondage.
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: Some of the large variety of restraints used in bondage:
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: * Rope, often preferred because of its flexibility. Rigging, however, requires considerable skill and practice to do safely.
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: * Chains, including police handcuffs, thumbcuffs and belly chains.
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: * Institutional restraints, including straitjackets.
[2008/09/23 7:22] Pirate Russell: * Purpose-made bondage gear, such as monogloves, sleepsacks, bondage hooks and bondage tables.
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: Some simple bondage techniques:
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: * Verbal bondage, in which (as the name suggests) the top simply tells the bottom to do something.
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: * Simply tying the hands together in front or behind.
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: * Anchoring the hands to the front, back or sides of a belt at the waist.
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: * A spread eagle, with the limbs splayed out and fastened by wrists and ankles to bedposts, door frame or some other anchoring point.
[2008/09/23 7:23] Pirate Russell: * A hogtie securing each wrist to its corresponding ankle behind the back (wider, padded restraints such as bondage cuffs are recommended for this).
[2008/09/23 7:24] Pirate Russell: * The Balltie securing wrists to ankles, in front, with the knees drawn up to the chest
[2008/09/23 7:24] Pirate Russell: * The crotch rope involves pulling a rope between the labia to apply pressure to the female genitals. Sometimes a knot is placed in the rope at the position of the clitoris to intensify the sensation.
[2008/09/23 7:24] Pirate Russell: Some more complex techniques:
[2008/09/23 7:24] Pirate Russell: * The reverse prayer position (not recommended unless the subject has flexible shoulders).
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: * An over-arm tie, in which the arms are brought over the head, and the wrists fastened together behind the head and then by a length of rope, chain or strapping to a belt at the waist.
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: There are also some common fantasy settings in which bondage is often played:
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: * Rape, ravishment and/or abduction: The top fictitiously seizes or abducts the consenting bottom and has complete control to do what he/she pleases.
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: * Dominance/slavery: A training session occurs in which rewards for obedience and punishment for defiance are given. Humiliation is usually involved.
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: * Predicament bondage: The bottom is given a choice between two tortures. For example, caning on the rear or flogging on the chest. If the bottom cannot stand one any longer, the top will start the other.
[2008/09/23 7:25] Pirate Russell: * This can also be done mechanically, like having a bottom squat and rigging a crotch rope to tighten if they attempt to stand.
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: Self Bondage
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: Technique in self-bondage is more complex, involving special methods to apply the bondage to oneself, and also to effect a release after a lapsed period of time.
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: Self-bondage carries a higher risk, particularly because it violates the first principle of bondage safety: to never leave a bound person alone.
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: Without someone to release them in the event of an emergency or medical crisis, self-bondage can be lethal to its practitioners.
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: It has been estimated in the medical literature there are around 500-1000 deaths every year in the United States due to autoerotic asphyxia (self-strangulation) alone.
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell: Safety
[2008/09/23 7:26] Pirate Russell:
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: Many people regard bondage as safe when conducted between sober, trusted partners who are fully aware of the risks involved and the precautions necessary to ensure safety.
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: Partners who are in committed relationships may have a greater basis for trusting each other. Performing acts in a supervised location, such as a dungeon, or with a group of trusted friends may also increase safety.
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: There is also a subculture of people who seek out others interested in bondage and pursue such activities with people who they do not know well.
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: This subculture has given rise to the safe, sane and consensual credo, also known as "SSC".
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: Safety precautions include:
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: * The use of a "safeword," or some clear way for the subject to indicate genuine distress and a wish to abort.
[2008/09/23 7:27] Pirate Russell: * Never leaving a bound person alone.
[2008/09/23 7:28] Pirate Russell: * Avoiding positions or restraints which may induce postural asphyxia (suffocation).
[2008/09/23 7:28] Pirate Russell: * Making sure that the subject changes positions at least once an hour (to avoid circulation problems).
[2008/09/23 7:28] Pirate Russell: * Making sure that the subject can be released quickly in an emergency.
[2008/09/23 7:29] Pirate Russell: * Avoiding restraints which impair breathing. (Gags or hoods which block the mouth can become asphyxial hazards if the subject vomits or the nose becomes otherwise blocked.)
[2008/09/23 7:29] Pirate Russell: Ok, looks like we're bogged down in lag, again
[2008/09/23 7:29] Pirate Russell: * Remaining sober; alcohol and drugs should be avoided.
[2008/09/23 7:30] Pirate Russell: One very simple safety measure is to ask the subject every so often if he or she is all right.
[2008/09/23 7:30] Pirate Russell: Another is to check body parts like hands and feet for numbness or coldness, which can happen if nerves have been pinched or blood circulation has been blocked.
[2008/09/23 7:30] Pirate Russell: Another is to check for skin discoloration. Skin that does not get enough oxygen turns bluish. If blood can get in, but can't get out because one of the veins has been blocked, that part of the body turns purple.
[2008/09/23 7:30] Pirate Russell: If the subject has been gagged or can otherwise not verbally communicate, a different form of the safeword is needed. For instance, they may hum a simple tune, or opening and closing one or both hands repeatedly, or releasing an object held in one hand(such as a rubber ball, or a scarf).
[2008/09/23 7:31] Pirate Russell: Some simple preparations may also be helpful:
[2008/09/23 7:31] Pirate Russell: * Food. It is surprisingly common for people (especially those on diets) to faint during a long session. Having a regular meal beforehand is recommended; being fed small snacks during play may also help avoid fainting.
[2008/09/23 7:31] Pirate Russell: * Cutting tools. A pair of EMT scissors is recommended (useful for safely cutting rope and tape off skin).
[2008/09/23 7:31] Pirate Russell: * Keyed-alike padlocks, if chains are being used.
[2008/09/23 7:32] Pirate Russell: It should be noted that scenes depicted in bondage photographs and videos are chosen for their visual appeal and fantasy value. In most cases they cannot be "acted out" with good results.
[2008/09/23 7:32] Pirate Russell: The reasons for bondage:
[2008/09/23 7:32] Pirate Russell: People who find it erotic to be tied up find it so for a variety of reasons:
[2008/09/23 7:32] Pirate Russell: * The most frequently cited reason is a mental freedom from inhibitions and responsibility since they have, in a way, given up control of the sexual situation to follow. This is sometimes referred to as a "power exchange."
[2008/09/23 7:33] Pirate Russell: * Some like the tactile feeling of restraint, that is, the feeling of pressure or pulling
[2008/09/23 7:33] Pirate Russell: * Some enjoy the feeling of helplessness for its own sake. Some like to struggle aggressively against their bonds, particularly when being sexually or otherwise stimulated.
There are some in this category who play bondage games that do not include a significant sexual component.
[2008/09/23 7:33] Pirate Russell: * Wishing to please their partner, and the stimulation engendered by their partner's pleasure in it
[2008/09/23 7:33] Pirate Russell: * To intensify the experience of orgasm control or of orgasm denial.
[2008/09/23 7:33] Pirate Russell: * Some derive pleasure from symbolic degradation (less common). This can include those who enjoy role playing prison or mental hospital situations.
[2008/09/23 7:34] Pirate Russell: * Fetishistic interest in the mechanics of bondage, with particular interest in the equipment and restraints used.
[2008/09/23 7:34] Pirate Russell: Some of these people are interested in the look, feel, and aroma of leather and rubber restraints. Others are fascinated by the relationship between the geometry of the tie, the degrees of freedom remaining and the feelings elicited.
[2008/09/23 7:34] Pirate Russell: * As an addition to other BDSM activities
[2008/09/23 7:35] Pirate Russell: * Like hang gliding or mountaineering, some feel that bondage allows them to do something potentially dangerous in a safe way.
[2008/09/23 7:35] Pirate Russell: * Extreme forms of bondage such as mummification some people enjoy because it is like being placed in a sensory deprivation tank and may allow the person being placed in extreme bondage to experience an out-of-body experience.
[2008/09/23 7:35] Pirate Russell: * In the wide range of human sexual experience, there are certainly more reasons as well.
[2008/09/23 7:35] Pirate Russell: * People enjoy the feeling of being dominated over, being abused or being taken care of.
People who enjoy tying other people up are motivated by a variety of reasons, including:
[2008/09/23 7:35] Pirate Russell: * Taking pleasure in the erotic submission of their partner
[2008/09/23 7:36] Pirate Russell: * The feeling of trust which comes from another person placing their physical freedom in their hands
[2008/09/23 7:36] Pirate Russell: * Wishing to please their partner, and the stimulation engendered by their partner's pleasure in it
[2008/09/23 7:36] Pirate Russell: * Fetishistic interest in the elegance of bondage, with particular interest in the geometric patterns and symmetry (or artistic asymmetry) of the restraint
[2008/09/23 7:37] Pirate Russell: * Using bondage as an adjunct to other BDSM activities
[2008/09/23 7:37] Pirate Russell: * Enjoyment of the power and control one has over a restrained partner.
[2008/09/23 7:37] Pirate Russell: Citation:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bondage_(BDSM)
[2008/09/23 7:37] Pirate Russell: Yipe,
Citation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bondage_(BDSM)
[2008/09/23 7:38] Pirate Russell: Questions, comments?
[2008/09/23 7:39] Pirate Russell taps the microphone... is this thing on?
[2008/09/23 7:39] ***GH***: haha
[2008/09/23 7:39] Zealot Benmergui: taps, or laps?
[2008/09/23 7:39] ***LG*** wonders if she missed the ball display and looks at Zealot
[2008/09/23 7:39] ***AP*** sticks her hand up, and shouts excitedly, "I love the power exchange and the feeling of helplessness that comes with being hogtied! - BUT can't really explain why..." :))))
[2008/09/23 7:40] Zealot Benmergui: If you can explain why, it is sort of less sexy....
[2008/09/23 7:40] Pirate Russell: Well, ***AP***, we dont' HAVE to explain wy!
[2008/09/23 7:40] Pirate Russell: Guess I should have set up a demo! ***IM*** come on up!
[2008/09/23 7:40] Pirate Russell: Just kidding
[2008/09/23 7:40] ***ML***: giggles
[2008/09/23 7:40] ***AP***: true, but sometimes it just feels like...hey this is good, surely there must be an explaination!?
[2008/09/23 7:40] ***AP***: LOL
[2008/09/23 7:41] Pirate Russell: I was kidding, hun
[2008/09/23 7:41] ***ML*** wonders if its oki to blind fold the Master every once n awhlie .. grins
[2008/09/23 7:41] Zealot Benmergui: well, you can try to find one, but it is an emotionally dangerous question...like "Why do you love me"or "Does this corset make my ass look fat?"
[2008/09/23 7:41] ***GH***: haha sis
[2008/09/23 7:41] Pirate Russell: I agree with both ***AP*** AND Zealot.
[2008/09/23 7:41] ***ML*** grins
[2008/09/23 7:41] ***LG***: thank you ..I must go now ..bye all sorry I was late *eg*
[2008/09/23 7:41] Pirate Russell: Yes, it's nice to know why, but sometimes it ruins it
[2008/09/23 7:42] ***ML2***: maybe for some it is more then tactile and could be also what is auditorialy happening (forgive the spelling)
[2008/09/23 7:42] ***ML2***: sorry for got the ? at the end
[2008/09/23 7:42] ***AP***: oh yes, i understand that, Zealot.... and verbal bondage - being TOLD seeing the PLEASURE that comes from my Master, as he sees how much I WANT to please = well those are the invisible ties!
[2008/09/23 7:42] Pirate Russell: No worries ***LG***, the trancripts for this and all classes are at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
[2008/09/23 7:42] Zealot Benmergui: auditorially..not sure what you mean with that
[2008/09/23 7:42] ***GA***: ***AP***, my former Dom awlays used to ask post scene "What did you like / dislike and why?" It always made me giggle because all I knew at that point was that it was soooooo good! Sometimes, things are best left without analysing. :)
[2008/09/23 7:43] Zealot Benmergui: at least he didn;t have a form
[2008/09/23 7:43] ***AP***: I agree ***GA***, maybe i'm not nuts afterall :)
[2008/09/23 7:43] ***GA*** smiles
[2008/09/23 7:43] ***AP*** winks back
[2008/09/23 7:43] Zealot Benmergui: "Help us improve...rate the following from one to five...Clenliness....Leather care....orgasm....
[2008/09/23 7:44] Pirate Russell: Or like the Eye Doc... which is better Cane or Whip.... Whip or Scourge....
[2008/09/23 7:44] ***AP***: I and i agree with Mathius' point about it being more 'tactile'...
[2008/09/23 7:45] Zealot Benmergui: "Point in the direction the strap on is pointing...
[2008/09/23 7:45] ***ML2***: speaking of the auditory aspect maybe they are excited by the feeling that being bound and if something physical is happening like flogging , so there are two senses being stimulated that is what I was meaning
[2008/09/23 7:45] Pirate Russell: Well there's touch and hearing
[2008/09/23 7:45] ***AP***: or you could include sensory deprivations...***ML2***
[2008/09/23 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: ah I understand Mr. ***ML2***..yes, the sensory overload can be a lot of fun
[2008/09/23 7:46] ***ML2*** grins wickedly
[2008/09/23 7:46] ***AP***: *you bet!*
[2008/09/23 7:46] ***MS***: << loves sensory dep
[2008/09/23 7:46] Pirate Russell: Look at how many kids enjoy geing startled, what is that if it's not momentary sensory overload?
[2008/09/23 7:46] ***AP*** would like to shake ***MS***'s hand!
[2008/09/23 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: Sensory dep...I never see the pointof it
[2008/09/23 7:46] Zealot Benmergui: but I hear it is good...just not to my taste I feel
[2008/09/23 7:47] ***AP***: that feeling of loss of control, totally helpless and in the trust of another, Zealot
[2008/09/23 7:47] ***MS***: anticipation :)
[2008/09/23 7:47] Pirate Russell: If you turn off My lights, and Ipod, I'm likely to go to sleep
[2008/09/23 7:47] Pirate Russell: LOL
[2008/09/23 7:47] ***AP***: *helplessness?
[2008/09/23 7:47] ***GA*** raises hand "May I add a comment on safety?"
[2008/09/23 7:47] ***ML2***: lol
[2008/09/23 7:47] Pirate Russell: Please do, ***GA***
[2008/09/23 7:47] Zealot Benmergui: I understand, the previous two sentences were one long pun..feel free to ignore them
[2008/09/23 7:48] ***GA***: There are times when the bottom has entered sub space, or close to it. At times like that, when the senses are confused, it is near impossible to use a safe word or action if it should be neccassary. It is imperative that the top is keenly aware of the bottoms bodily reactions in various situations so he/she can determine if there when there is a difficulty. It is why I would never recommend anyone trying more than mild bondage as a first outing or at a party.
[2008/09/23 7:48] ***AP***: oh yes, my favourite topic! yes, you need to know your partner has the right technique....
[2008/09/23 7:49] Pirate Russell: Yes, that is VERY true, ***GA***, however at a party, many eyes might see something the Dominant doesn't
[2008/09/23 7:49] Zealot Benmergui: well, there are always certain clues a good dom looks for....
[2008/09/23 7:49] ***GA*** smiles
[2008/09/23 7:49] Zealot Benmergui: excessive bleeding...
[2008/09/23 7:49] Zealot Benmergui: turning blue
[2008/09/23 7:49] Zealot Benmergui: falling over and not moving anymore
[2008/09/23 7:50] Pirate Russell: The paramedics cutting the collar off, AGAIN! (HEY THOSE AREN"T CHEAP!!)
[2008/09/23 7:50] ***GA*** giggles
[2008/09/23 7:50] Zealot Benmergui: The police surrounding him screaming PUT THE CROP DOWN< BITCH!
[2008/09/23 7:50] ***AP*** says, "There are dangers with any kind of bondage, take suspension(for example) ; check for faulty equipment, weak suspension point or just a poor technique!"
[2008/09/23 7:50] ***AP***: Too funny Zealot! :)
[2008/09/23 7:50] Pirate Russell: BUt yeah, ***GA***, there is a thing such as "Dom Space" too. I've hit it only once in SL, and I'm not a real life Domme
[2008/09/23 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: I would say Miss ***AP*** that suspension is something that should never be done in RL unless you have a lot of experience with your partner
[2008/09/23 7:51] ***AP*** says, 'you know, one min you're hanging and he next - splat - with a head bump the size of the Eifel Tower!'
[2008/09/23 7:51] Zealot Benmergui: and even then, I would recommend testing the gear once, non sexually, before playing
[2008/09/23 7:51] ***AP***: exactly Zealot
[2008/09/23 7:51] Pirate Russell: Or an experienced 3rd party observer, "safety officer" could work, too!
[2008/09/23 7:52] Zealot Benmergui: yes
[2008/09/23 7:52] ***GA***: I've been at the receivign end of that Pirate - when the Dom reaches and can easily overstep a boundary because of the adrenalin. It's why I admore dom/mes so much, that they really HAVE to have self control.
[2008/09/23 7:52] ***AP***: oh yes, spotters - who will help get the sub down, or untied in case of emergency.
[2008/09/23 7:52] Zealot Benmergui: anything that if done wrong, will not result in bad sex, but in death...treat very very gingerly
[2008/09/23 7:52] Pirate Russell: IT's not just adrenalin, most of Us extend ourselves almost as much as y'all do
[2008/09/23 7:53] ***GA*** nods "Indeed Pirate"
[2008/09/23 7:53] ***AP***: yes ***GA***, i agree with you there.
[2008/09/23 7:53] Pirate Russell: And in mid scene, it's easy to lose track of YOURSELF, when you're playing the rapist, or whatever, just in a role
[2008/09/23 7:53] Zealot Benmergui: nods..and some Doms, especially inexperienced ones, will go to far becuase they feel that they should, or that the sub wants them to
[2008/09/23 7:54] Zealot Benmergui: and the sub may well want them to....but it is up to the Dom to know where the line is, and honor that
[2008/09/23 7:54] Pirate Russell: I didn't go to far, but as ***IM*** will attest, that Sunday afternoon, I was NOT Myself!
[2008/09/23 7:55] Pirate Russell: And not to insult the submissives among U/us, it's like a horse.... they'll run 'till their heart explodes, it's up to the rider to not let that happen
[2008/09/23 7:55] Zealot Benmergui waves his program at ***RV***
[2008/09/23 7:55] ***RV*** smiles
[2008/09/23 7:55] ***GA*** smiles to see ***RV***
[2008/09/23 7:56] Pirate Russell: ***RV***, you're tardy, see Me after class for your spanking!
[2008/09/23 7:56] ***RV*** grins
[2008/09/23 7:56] Zealot Benmergui: Ah hell, spank her now
[2008/09/23 7:56] Pirate Russell: Ok, then NO spanking
[2008/09/23 7:56] ***RV***: lol
[2008/09/23 7:56] Pirate Russell: Nah, it's supposed to be a punnishment, not a reward, Z
[2008/09/23 7:56] ***AP***: So true Miss Pirate, it's up to the rider, i agree
[2008/09/23 7:56] Zealot Benmergui: I have seen so many people spank ***RV***..the screencaps have their own folder
[2008/09/23 7:57] ***RV***: oh hush you
[2008/09/23 7:57] Pirate Russell: I got the videos on an external hard drive
[2008/09/23 7:58] Zealot Benmergui: In the heat of the moment it canbe hard for either Master or sub to see that things have gone too far...so in that case, it is up to the Master...
[2008/09/23 7:58] Zealot Benmergui: a good approach is setting a recording of your grandmother calling your name to be triggered 60 minutes into the session
[2008/09/23 7:58] Zealot Benmergui: can break things right up
[2008/09/23 7:58] ***GA***: eek!
[2008/09/23 7:59] Pirate Russell: But not your ex, may spur you on to more mayhem!
[2008/09/23 7:59] ***AP*** screws her face up in disgust!
[2008/09/23 7:59] Zealot Benmergui: though if YOU call the name of yoru ex..that can also shut the scene down
[2008/09/23 7:59] ***MS***: hehe
[2008/09/23 7:59] Pirate Russell: Faster than a safeword!
[2008/09/23 7:59] ***AP*** giggles
[2008/09/23 8:00] Zealot Benmergui: Oh God, OHGOD YES FRANK!!!....wha?
[2008/09/23 8:00] ***RV***: lol
[2008/09/23 8:00] Pirate Russell: You still *seeing* Frank, Z?
[2008/09/23 8:00] ***AP***: *smiles* we've all been there ...
[2008/09/23 8:00] Zealot Benmergui: every time I close my eyes, every time I hear a dog bark, every time I smell laudry detergent
[2008/09/23 8:01] Pirate Russell: LOL
[2008/09/23 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: I weep at the dentists now
[2008/09/23 8:01] ***AP***: Hey, anybody tried Shibari?
[2008/09/23 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: RL or SL?
[2008/09/23 8:01] ***AP***: both? :)
[2008/09/23 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: yes
[2008/09/23 8:01] Zealot Benmergui: most important thing to be careful of is circulation
[2008/09/23 8:02] ***MS***: :) ive seen it
[2008/09/23 8:02] ***AP*** enjoys wearing Shibari under clothes, coz no one can tell you are wearing them whilst walking around the supermarket...!
[2008/09/23 8:02] Zealot Benmergui: and the position has to start out comfortable
[2008/09/23 8:02] ***GA***: And pressure points with knot placement
[2008/09/23 8:02] Pirate Russell: In Shibari, no one can hear you scream!
[2008/09/23 8:02] ***AP***: nods! Can be very arty, too
[2008/09/23 8:02] ***AP***: LOL
[2008/09/23 8:02] Zealot Benmergui: I have seen some gorgeous photos and artwork of Shibari
[2008/09/23 8:03] Zealot Benmergui: and yes, done right it is very beautiful
[2008/09/23 8:03] ***AP***: Yes, very beautiful some of them are, Zealot - really captures the imagination...and how clever some people are!
[2008/09/23 8:03] Pirate Russell: Yes, Z and done worong, Shibary is knot
[2008/09/23 8:03] Zealot Benmergui: done badly, it looks like were on Survivor, and got voted off late
[2008/09/23 8:04] ***AP***: LOL yes, Miss Pirate
[2008/09/23 8:04] ***AP***: a tangled mess, you cant get out of! :)
[2008/09/23 8:04] Zealot Benmergui: OK, I just had a laural and hardy image I would pay money for someone to beat out of me
[2008/09/23 8:04] ***AP***: LOL
[2008/09/23 8:05] ***AP***: Mine was more like Tom and Jerry!
[2008/09/23 8:05] ***ML2***: right I i think you passed it to me... ewww
[2008/09/23 8:05] Zealot Benmergui: I would live with that
[2008/09/23 8:05] Pirate Russell: how much?
[2008/09/23 8:06] Pirate Russell: Is ALWAYS in search of a good business opportunity!
[2008/09/23 8:06] Zealot Benmergui: looking for some cash on the side again? The Repo gig not panning out?
[2008/09/23 8:06] ***RV*** chuckles
[2008/09/23 8:06] Pirate Russell: Nope, neither is the hooking!
[2008/09/23 8:06] ***AP*** screams with laughter!
[2008/09/23 8:06] Pirate Russell: Well, unfortunately RL is grabbing Me today, I HAVE to run, please keep up the chat.....
[2008/09/23 8:07] Zealot Benmergui tosses Pirate an apple
[2008/09/23 8:07] ***AP***: Thank you v ery much for such an fun chat, Miss Pirate!
[2008/09/23 8:07] ***GA***: Thank you Ms Pirate, that was informative and fun. :)
[2008/09/23 8:07] ***ML2***: Thank you for the talk good lady Pirate
[2008/09/23 8:07] ***MS***: thank you for all the info :)
[2008/09/23 8:07] Pirate Russell: As always, it's my pleasure, please don't stop just cuz I have ot!
[2008/09/23 8:07] Zealot Benmergui: OH Pirate
[2008/09/23 8:07] Pirate Russell: Z, would you finsish up the moderation?
[2008/09/23 8:07] Pirate Russell: and then finish it up
[2008/09/23 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: before you fade./...next Monday I won't be lecturing...Rosh HaShana
[2008/09/23 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: and sure
[2008/09/23 8:08] Pirate Russell: Ok, is that a "Happy Rosh HaShana"?
[2008/09/23 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: yeah, that'll work
[2008/09/23 8:08] Pirate Russell: dunno with some holidays, whether "happy" is appropriate!
[2008/09/23 8:08] Zealot Benmergui: Happy Yom Kippur is always a bit..strange
[2008/09/23 8:09] Pirate Russell: ciao for now Y/y'all
[2008/09/23 8:09] ***GA***: lol
[2008/09/23 8:09] Zealot Benmergui: So does anyone have an example of when a scene they were involved with went too far?
[2008/09/23 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: remember, that may not just mean physical mayhem and severed arteries
[2008/09/23 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: it can also be the point where a scene jumps the shark
[2008/09/23 8:10] ***AP***: I saw one, once, where the sub had a hood on and panicked, scared me to death, Sir,
[2008/09/23 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: when up until that point, it was great and hot and wonderful...then it went on too long, or something changed..and you felt silly
[2008/09/23 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: hoods are delicate
[2008/09/23 8:10] Zealot Benmergui: some subs love them..some won;t even put one on
[2008/09/23 8:11] Zealot Benmergui: for me that is always a thing for the sub to ask for
[2008/09/23 8:11] ***AP***: Yes, experienced handlers that is the key...
[2008/09/23 8:11] Zealot Benmergui: to me they are always dangerous becuase they can limit eye contact
[2008/09/23 8:11] ***AP***: and knowing your sub and his or her ability helps too i suppose -
[2008/09/23 8:12] Zealot Benmergui: sometimes if safewords won;t come, the eyes are the only way you can tell she is in trouble
[2008/09/23 8:12] ***AP***: yes best to have something to hold, which you can drop if in danger...but it only a precaution, i would want to risk my life with that one 'sign'.
[2008/09/23 8:13] Zealot Benmergui: like all bondage, ti si a matter of preference..and should be tried once or twice out of scene
[2008/09/23 8:13] Zealot Benmergui: if someone is going to have a clautrophoic reaction to a hood, best not to have one while nude and on the brink of orgasm, or while being watched by 4 other couples
[2008/09/23 8:14] ***AP***: ;) True!
[2008/09/23 8:14] ***ML2***: would be awkwared
[2008/09/23 8:14] Zealot Benmergui: just messing about wuith the gear, testing it out, can take a lot of the poressure off
[2008/09/23 8:15] ***ML2***: would be true for chains and collars as well?
[2008/09/23 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: absolutely
[2008/09/23 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: try before you buy
[2008/09/23 8:15] ***AP*** nods
[2008/09/23 8:15] Zealot Benmergui: and use when nothing is riding on it
[2008/09/23 8:16] ***ML2*** nods
[2008/09/23 8:16] ***ML2***: I can see that is very true
[2008/09/23 8:16] Zealot Benmergui: feel free to mess about with any gear..test it, see what it's limits are, see how it feels
[2008/09/23 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: I would also recommend any Master or Dom who is going to use something on a girl, use it on himself first
[2008/09/23 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: feel it, get a sense of it
[2008/09/23 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: know what effect it will have
[2008/09/23 8:17] ***MS***: ...yea...cause those dragontails hurt...
[2008/09/23 8:17] ***MS***: hehe
[2008/09/23 8:17] Zealot Benmergui: absolutely
[2008/09/23 8:17] ***AP*** smiles, so true but very helpful...and a wonderful thing to actually do - means they care a huge amount
[2008/09/23 8:18] Zealot Benmergui: and just because you watched Fashionistas and the girls loved getting their pussies flogged...doesn;t mean your sub will be enchanted by it
[2008/09/23 8:18] Zealot Benmergui: and even if your LAST girl loved it, this one may not...test, experiment, talk
[2008/09/23 8:18] ***AP***: ooooh no! LOL Each to their own...
[2008/09/23 8:19] Zealot Benmergui: nods...remember..love is dignified, submission can be dignified..sex...no dignity whatsoever
[2008/09/23 8:19] Zealot Benmergui: it is silly looking, it is messy, it is sweaty and gooey...
[2008/09/23 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: so play with it...enjoy the toys
[2008/09/23 8:20] ***ML*** smiles darly!
[2008/09/23 8:20] ***ML***: darkly*
[2008/09/23 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: I have spoken with other masters who ragged me out for that concept..saying I was dishonouring the equipment, therefore I didn;t take it seriously
[2008/09/23 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: yadda yadda yadda
[2008/09/23 8:20] Zealot Benmergui: leather is leather...
[2008/09/23 8:21] Zealot Benmergui: it is the emotion behind it that is important..the rest, just tools
[2008/09/23 8:21] Zealot Benmergui: and a true professional knows their tools inside and out, backwards and forewards
[2008/09/23 8:21] ***MS***: << prefers deer over cow... :P
[2008/09/23 8:22] Zealot Benmergui: I am always find of elf skin myself, tough to find these days
[2008/09/23 8:22] ***GA*** laughs softly
[2008/09/23 8:22] ***ML*** takes notes of Masters wants
[2008/09/23 8:23] ***ML2*** smirks
[2008/09/23 8:23] Zealot Benmergui: Bondage should be fun...and to be fun, it has to be at least ultimately safe
[2008/09/23 8:23] ***GH***: mmhmmmm ill say
[2008/09/23 8:23] Zealot Benmergui: most people into Bondage like it to be a little edgy..and little dangrous...ok
[2008/09/23 8:23] ***IM***: Or at least seem that way.
[2008/09/23 8:24] Zealot Benmergui: however, if someone is will to risk death, and considers that part of the kick...have them seek help
[2008/09/23 8:24] Zealot Benmergui: and yes ***IM***..the APPEARENCE of risk is more important then the reality
[2008/09/23 8:25] ***AP***: there's always the feeling that anything could happen, but always be safe in the knowledge that you have thoroughly prepared to your advantage
[2008/09/23 8:25] ***ML2***: yes, if you die at the hands of a Master it is them who will pay in the end, better safe and sane then ott
[2008/09/23 8:25] Zealot Benmergui: preperation limits variables...variables are dangerous
[2008/09/23 8:25] ***MS***: ...a butter knife feels the same as a real knife.... :)
[2008/09/23 8:25] ***AP***: :) smiles at ***MS***
[2008/09/23 8:26] ***MS***: or toothpicks ...at least under blindfold....
[2008/09/23 8:26] Zealot Benmergui: something can ALWAYS go wrong...you can slip while having straight missionary vanilla sex, brain yourself on the endtable and die right there on top of him....
[2008/09/23 8:26] ***AP*** grins
[2008/09/23 8:26] ***MS***: giggles ....
[2008/09/23 8:26] ***ML2*** chuckles
[2008/09/23 8:26] Zealot Benmergui: And let me tell you, that leaves emotional scars for...well, so I heard...
[2008/09/23 8:26] ***RV***: lol
[2008/09/23 8:27] ***IM***: Lots of dangers, heart attack, swat team, husband...
[2008/09/23 8:27] ***AP***: LOL
[2008/09/23 8:27] Zealot Benmergui: forgetting it was fumigation day
[2008/09/23 8:27] ***RV***: yikes
[2008/09/23 8:27] ***AP***: Sorry, shouldnt be sniggering about such fatalities, i do apologise!
[2008/09/23 8:27] ***MS***: cough
[2008/09/23 8:28] Zealot Benmergui: nah, laugh all you want...that is part of the point...
[2008/09/23 8:28] Zealot Benmergui: just be careful..and don;t take any of it too seriously
[2008/09/23 8:29] Zealot Benmergui: one final comment from me, then I will leave the floor to whoever else wants it
[2008/09/23 8:30] Zealot Benmergui: always have a first aid kit handy during scening
[2008/09/23 8:30] Zealot Benmergui: it is the little things that can ruin a powerful scene, like having to run around looking for a bandaid
[2008/09/23 8:30] ***RV*** agrees
[2008/09/23 8:31] Zealot Benmergui: next tuesday and thursday, Pirate will be teaching as normal....
[2008/09/23 8:31] ***IM*** giggles
[2008/09/23 8:31] Zealot Benmergui: no class next Monday, then class the following Monday with me...
[2008/09/23 8:32] Zealot Benmergui: that lecture will be called "But he told me he would be NICE...": RL Meeting Dos and Don'ts