2008/08/07 13:05 start
Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for nearly 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
Pirate Russell: Our topic today, "D/s 101 submisive Rights and Dominant Responsibilities".
Pirate Russell: This is the 2nd time I've taught this class and prolly will do it the first week of the month.
Pirate Russell: This topic is VERY near and dear to My heart. I have seen submissives mistreated by their dominants and either left the SL Lifestyle or just spent way too much time not enjoying themselves.
Pirate Russell: My philosophy is that W/we are all her to enjoy ourselves. Some gain that enjoyment by being whipped, some by whipping. Some enjoy being humiliated, some enjoy humiliating them.
Pirate Russell: W/we each have our own fun, but it's just that. fun. W/we are here to enjoy our time or we'd be off doing other things in other games, or
Pirate Russell: Further submission is a GIFT. The most special gift that can be given.
Pirate Russell: subsmissives give themselves. There is no greater honor, or honour for those that speak English, than to be given the gift of submission.
Pirate Russell: I have found a very good list of submissive Rights
Pirate Russell: Here are some of the basic submissive rights:
Pirate Russell: 1) You have the right to be respected.
Pirate Russell: No one should be ordering you around or expecting you to answer questions
Pirate Russell: or doing things you're not comfortable with.
Pirate Russell: Just because someone is interested in you, they can't take your freedom from you.
Pirate Russell: 2) You have the right to your freedom.
Pirate Russell: Don't let anyone try to intimidate you; you belong to no one until you offer yourself to them.
Pirate Russell: They can't restrict you in any way until you allow that.
Pirate Russell: 3) You have a right to be satisfied--emotionally and physically.
Pirate Russell: This is a relationship, y'all. While the power control aspect does add a few kinks (pun intended) into the mix,
Pirate Russell: you don't get extra points for making yourself into a sacrificial lamb for someone else's amusement and/or satisfaction.
Pirate Russell: Get what you need or find someone else that will give it to you.
Pirate Russell: 4) You have a right to take your time and not rush into anything ever.
Pirate Russell: Being chained in the doorway, naked and vulnerable isn't really a good time to find out your Dominant wants to explore their sadistic side a little more.
Pirate Russell: Talk,
Pirate Russell: talk,
Pirate Russell: and talk some more. If you have concerns that aren't addressed, move on. It's not worth the risk.
Pirate Russell: talk,
Pirate Russell: 5) You DON'T have a right to play "needy and desperate".
Pirate Russell: Who in the world wants to own someone that doesn't have a backbone and will submit to anyone for any reason?
Pirate Russell: Big satisfaction potential there.
***XL***: Goreans? ;-)
Pirate Russell: 6) You have a right to respect yourself.
Pirate Russell: This means holding out for the relationship YOU want and not being talked into the relationship someone else wants with you.
Pirate Russell: You're submissive, not stupid and, if you're not going to be happy, you're only wasting everyone's time.
Pirate Russell: And, just any collar isn't worth your peace of mind. Honest. It *HAS* to be the right one.
Pirate Russell: 7) You have the right to enjoy this always.
Pirate Russell: If you find you're in a relationship that's bringing more tears, confusion and unreasonable or uncomfortable demands than smiles and "warm fuzzies",
Pirate Russell: take some time to pull back and see what's going on or talk with someone else about it,either your Dominant or a friend who knows the lifestyle.
Pirate Russell: The same basics apply here as anywhere; something's wrong if you're dreading logging into SL, or hiding from people.
Pirate Russell: You deserve more than that. Have the courage to find it. You'll be glad you did!"
Pirate Russell: Most of all I want to reiterate, you have the RIGHT to enjoy yourself. and
Pirate Russell: submissives have the RIGHT to wait for the right Dominant.
Pirate Russell: Questions and comments on submissive rights?
***AR***: that was fast my native isn´t english :)
***AR***: I did hear a quick comment about Goreans......
Pirate Russell: Sorry ***AR***, I post all the transctipts on the web, http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
Pirate Russell: ***XL***, did you want to say something about Goreans?
***AR***: from ***XL***
***AR***: no worry, smiles
***XL***: Just making a facecious quip
Pirate Russell: Ok, I know of gor, but I don't know gor, had some personal problems early on with gor, so I just don't go there
***AR***: I was a gorean slave in sl for 9 month
***XL***: Me neither. And I have no involvement with it. In my experience Goreans have little imagination or intelligence and rely upon the culture to enslave
Pirate Russell: Ahh, ok
***CR***: Most Gor's I've met have no manners and are very controlling to the point of choosing their sub's online friends
***CR***: O
***CR***: I've lost a few friends to Gor
Pirate Russell: Very true, and very sad, but pulling this back to this class, if that's what they enjoy, then more power to them
***AR***: I have done some experince
***AR***: I will like to share, if any wish?
Pirate Russell: Sure, ***AR***, go ahead
***AR***: thank you Mistress
***AR***: I did enter Gor, without knowing it
***AR***: but neither did I know about bdsm
***AR***: I did experinced, that, people in Gor, addicted to Gor and who have read all the books and study them
***AR***: them who call themselfs rl goreans
***AR***: did judge the bdsm world
***AR***: as fun sex play
Pirate Russell: Ye,s I ENJOYED the books, and have them on notecards for any that want them
***AR***: not serious
***AR***: then, I did leave sl Gor
***AR***: because I did not find a Master there, who fit me
***AR***: and did come to this world
***AR***: and people here
***AR***: I hear judging people of Gor lol
***AR***: amazing
***AR***: this is not a question who is right and who is wrong
***AR***: whom to judge that, perhaps god!!!!
***AR***: the think I gor tired of in Gor, was all the waiting
***AR***: and men who come to have fast sex/as some do too here
Pirate Russell: Well, I lost 3 girls, and CLOSE friends to gor, it's a black hole if time and attention
***AR***: tired of Gor' sorry
***AR***: but there are alot, people in Gor sl, who not are serious
***AR***: and few who are
***AR***: and here, are alot too, who just want a fast screw
***AR***: and few who for me is serious
***AR***: the pint in Gor is
Pirate Russell raises Her hand then pulls it back down.. he he
***AR***: the different being a slave and a sub
***AR***: point*
***AR***: done*
Pirate Russell: yes, I have subs, and pets, not slaves
Pirate Russell: ***BH*** and ***IM*** are mine, and ***KC*** was for a time
***AR***: and I seek to be a slave, a sub slave
***VS***: Mistress . would u allow a question please ?
***AR***: I have the need to place my will in a mans hand
Pirate Russell: Well, every D/s releationship is just that, a relationship, and every one is different
Pirate Russell: just as every marriage is different
***AR***: correct
***AR***: very true
Pirate Russell: if girl takes her time, she should find the right Dominant, and all will be fun!
***AR***: nods
***AR***: but seriously fun, I hope, well for me at least
Pirate Russell: Any other questions or comments on "submissive Rights?"
***VS***: one question please
Pirate Russell: Ask away, ***VS***
***VS***: i am a bit confused about the definitions ... pet/sub/slave
***VS***: everyone seems to have a different view
Pirate Russell: Exactly, each term is subjective
***VS***: is there any official definition ?
Pirate Russell: Not to My knowledge, that's why you need to talk with your partner, to find out what htey mean by it, and tell them what you do
Pirate Russell: I see 'submissive' as the blanket term for those who submit their will to others
***VS***: but ...
Pirate Russell: I don't treat My pets as slaves, at least not excessively, do I girls?
***VS***: whats the different between pet and slave ... is it just a different term ?
***IM***: Oh, no, Mistress.
***BH***: not often Mistress
***VS***: *difference*
Pirate Russell: I see the term slave as a more severe submission than a pet
Pirate Russell: I accept input from My pets, where slaves would be allowed none
***AR***: you have to define the term slave, pet and sub, to define the different
***AR***: i do not agree
Pirate Russell: Please join us, Leena
***AR***: a slave is asked for advise etc, if her Dom want it
***CR***: but only whent he Dom wants it right?
***AR***: correct
***AR***: that is what make a slave
***IM***: That's why it's important to define the terms in every relationship, right?
***AR***: one of it, but that is just my meaning
***AR***: correct
Pirate Russell: As I said, it's all about the releationship. ***BH*** and ***IM*** are Mine. Both are pets, and both want different things with Me
Pirate Russell: and I want different things with each of them, if they were identical, one would be unnecessary
***AR***: but they haqve to obey you, dont they?
***AR***: have*
Pirate Russell: No, they don't, actuallly
***AR***: I see
Pirate Russell: that is the dirty little secret of online BDSM
***IM***: girls could leave any time.
***AR***: again its different :)
***AR***: yes leave
***AR***: but as long you have given yourself
***AR***: you are owned
Pirate Russell: if I piss off ***BH*** she could take off the collar, mute Me, and hide her online status from Me
***AR***: and mut obey
***AR***: must*
***AR***: else it does not make sence to me
***AR***: yessss, she can
Pirate Russell: And again, EVERYone is different
***AR***: but as long she is in your collar you expect her to obey?
Pirate Russell: Yes, but we have talked extensively, as recently as last night, 6months after her collaring, about what she wants and what I want.
***AR***: of course, talk talk and more talk
***AR***: even b efore collaring
Pirate Russell: Exactly!
Pirate Russell: I dont' just toss collars around, I sit, talk, we play, on a trial basis before I ever offer a permanent collar and a place in My Family
***VS***: in a nutshell ...
***VS***: u dont see any difference between pet, slave and sub ?
Pirate Russell: I see 'submissive' as the blanket term for those who submit their will to others
***VS***: ok
Pirate Russell: I see the term slave as a more severe submission than a pet
***AR***: I think that the people who have a low selfrespect, is those who find themself doing things they really not want, but do because they hunger for love
***VS***: so could a pet be a subowner of one of ur slaves ?
Pirate Russell: But that is for My personal use, not rules for everyone to follow throughout SL
Pirate Russell: I have no slaves, but for a time ***BH*** owned ***IM***
***IM***: The difference in meaning among the words is less than the difference in interpretation of the meanings among people who use them.
Pirate Russell: ***BH*** owns another girl at this time
***VS***: oki
***AC***: There are a number of hierarchical arrangements at Roissy -
***VS***: so finally its just terms which have to be defined in each relationship ...
***IM*** nods
Pirate Russell: Exactly, ***VS***, unless like Roissy, there are agreed definitions for certain terms
***AC***: what do people here do about "limit" lists ?
***CR***: Every relationship is different, every person is different, everyone wants something different... trying to objectify a subjective topic is not all that helpful... it means whatever it means to you I think is the point
Pirate Russell: heck, the terms "Husband" and "Wife" mean different things to My Hubby and My ex in RL
Pirate Russell: ***AC***, there isn't really a 'here'. HoV isn't a culture like Roissy or gor
***AC***: I meant amongst those present here :)
Pirate Russell: But with My girls, and casual scenes, I pointedly ask, what don't you like or won't you do.
Pirate Russell: Ahh, ok
***VS***: well .. not real limit list ... just a rough idea of a border that shouldnt be crossed ...
***VS***: the rest is practice and talking ....
***AR***: I have a list off my limits
***AR***: placed in numbers
Pirate Russell: I do too, though it's short
***AR***: a bdsm list for subs
***AC***: Not sure where a "rough idea" of say scat might extend :)
***AC***: most lists are RL based and over the top
Pirate Russell: For Me, unless I KNOW hwo's behind the avi, it's no kids, no poo, the rest is negotiable
***VS***: yes ... right
***XL***: Why does it matter who is behind the av?
***VS***: in my opinion a relationship should be based on trust and respect ....
***XL***: Providing they are over 18
***VS***: and .... on conversation
Pirate Russell: Part of the relationship thing, that its' what makes them happy, and I'm sure they're not some kid that signed up with mommy's credit card
***XL***: But you don't have to sign up with a card
Pirate Russell: Not anymore, I guess
***XL***: The point is that I'm 20. And I look for someone with a similar mind and kinks. Doesn't matter how old they are to me....or necessarily, what sex
***VS***: hopefully Pirate ... but thats a general thing .. valid for all adult contents in here
Pirate Russell: Then your limits are different from Mine
***XL*** nods
***VS***: whose ?
Pirate Russell: I HATE to cut this short, but time is slipping away, I'd like to cover some basic Dominant's responisibilities
***VS***: oki
Pirate Russell: Ok... now the other side of the coin, so to speak.
Pirate Russell: The following is taken Dominant's Creed
Pirate Russell: Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others.
Pirate Russell: In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
Pirate Russell: This is, more for more permenant subs
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me would never asks a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, or Rreal Life, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.
Pirate Russell: To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they can learn from, and that they can trust Their direction.
Pirate Russell: That being said, I learn from ***IM*** and ***BH*** every time we're together, so this goes both ways
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me proves to their submissive that They are someone they can lean on, and depend on.
Pirate Russell: When it comes time to teach Their submissive their lessons of obedience, They are a strong and unyielding professor.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their submissive.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear Their submissive's wants and needs.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is patient; taking time to learn Their submissive's limits, and knowing that as their trust of Them grows, so will they.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me never has to demand ritual behavior from Their submissive. Their submissive responds to Them out of the want of pleasing Them. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, respect and love
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.
Pirate Russell: And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.
Pirate Russell: Quesitons and comments on these Dominant Responsibilities?
***AR***: no :)
Pirate Russell: How about dirty jokes, then?
***VS***: haha
***AR***: what do you mean?
Pirate Russell:
Pirate Russell: There will be no more transcipts, they're now posted at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com/
Pirate Russell: Ok, just had to live up to My advertising, we can go back to chatting about limits and such if that's where the class is heading
***AR***: I need to go, thank you for this Miss Russell, I wish all a good day/eve
***IM***: As a relationship grows, would You expect the limits to change very much?
Pirate Russell: girl is welcome,
Pirate Russell: And yes, ***IM***
Pirate Russell: Limits can change from minute to minute. Maybe we try something you didn't like, after discussing of course, and you decide you like it after all
Pirate Russell: limit can change
Pirate Russell: or maybe XYZ isn't fun anymore.... new limit
Pirate Russell: or as with one of My girls... if her kids are out of bed, W/we have a whole different set of limits, than when she's got privacy!
Pirate Russell: any other questions?
***KC***: Miss said earlier that She expected perfection from Her subs but isn't that a work in progress?
Pirate Russell: Well, then, thank you all for coming, and as always, you can't come back next week, unless you bring a friend! ;-)
***CR***: umm Miss ***KC*** had a question
Pirate Russell: Yipes!
Pirate Russell: go ahead, ***KC***, sorry
Pirate Russell: Yes, as all releationships are, and if girls were perfect, I'd have to invent reasons to whip their asses! he he
***KC***: Miss said that She expected perfection in Her subs but isn't that a work in progress?
***KC***: ah ok thank You MIss
***CR***: what do you consider to be an imperfection? totally subjective I know but I'm curious
Pirate Russell: All kidding aside, NONE of us, Dominant or submissive is perfect. Not in RL not in SL. Expecting and getting are usually 2 different things. I know it is with My RL kids, he he
Pirate Russell: Hmmm an imperfection.
***CR***: Oh I totally agree with that... if we were all perfect would we be here?
***CR***: lol
Pirate Russell: When new to My Family, a certain submissive, I won't mention her name, but her initials are ***IM***, had some short-lived troubles remembering the 'Miss and Sir' for free men and women
Pirate Russell: Perfection is BORING!
***IM***: The line about perfection was actually "A Dom/me will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their submissive." That doesn't mean expect perfection in every way.
***CR***: just in the ways that matter then with respect to others and to you then
***KC***: thank you for clarifiny that ***IM***.
Pirate Russell: Yes, it does, but expecting and getting aren't ever the same thing.. he he
***IM*** giggles
Pirate Russell: Can you imagine if every day was 80degreesF and sunny? Weather would be real boring!
Pirate Russell ducks the storms that are rolling thru!
***CR***: I can imagine. Weather doesn't change much here in the summer
Pirate Russell: LOL
***CR***: I'll leave perfection to the social climbers ^_~
Pirate Russell: Didn't when I lived in Las Vegas, either, hot and sunny from march to november!
Pirate Russell: Like the old billy joel song, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, cuz sinners are much more fun!"
***CR***: or like Rasputin, paraphrased, "How can you be forgiven if you don't go out and sin?"
Pirate Russell: Exactly!
Pirate Russell: Well, that's all I have for today, so.......... wait for it........ Class dismissed!
2008/08/07 14:15 end
No comments:
Post a Comment