2008/08/05 7:02
Pirate Russell: Welcome to House of V's College of Kink! As most of y'all know, My name is Pirate Russell, Head Mistress of the College, and today's instructor. I have been in SL for nearly 3 years, a lesbian Domme, the entire time.
Pirate Russell: Our topic today, "D/s 101 submisive Rights and Dominant Responsibilities".
Pirate Russell: This is the 2nd time I've taught this class and prolly will do it the first week of the month.
Pirate Russell: This topic is VERY near and dear to My heart. I have seen submissives mistreated by their dominants and either left the SL Lifestyle or just spent way too much time not enjoying themselves.
Pirate Russell: My philosophy is that W/we are all her to enjoy ourselves. Some gain that enjoyment by being whipped, some by whipping. Some enjoy being humiliated, some enjoy humiliating them.
Pirate Russell: W/we each have our own fun, but it's just that. fun. W/we are here to enjoy our time or we'd be off doing other things in other games, or
Pirate Russell: Further submission is a GIFT. The most special gift that can be given.
Pirate Russell: subsmissives give themselves. There is no greater honor, or honour for those that speak English, than to be given the gift of submission.
Pirate Russell: I have found a very good list of submissive Rights
Pirate Russell: Here are some of the basic submissive rights:
Pirate Russell: 1) You have the right to be respected.
Pirate Russell: No one should be ordering you around or expecting you to answer questions
Pirate Russell: or doing things you're not comfortable with.
Pirate Russell: 2) You have the right to your freedom.
Pirate Russell: Just because someone is interested in you, they can't take your freedom from you.
Pirate Russell: Don't let anyone try to intimidate you; you belong to no one until you offer yourself to them.
Pirate Russell: 3) You have a right to be satisfied--emotionally and physically.
Pirate Russell: They can't restrict you in any way until you allow that.
Pirate Russell: This is a relationship, y'all. While the power control aspect does add a few kinks (pun intended) into the mix,
Pirate Russell: you don't get extra points for making yourself into a sacrificial lamb for someone else's amusement and/or satisfaction.
Pirate Russell: Get what you need or find someone else that will give it to you.
Pirate Russell: 4) You have a right to take your time and not rush into anything ever.
Pirate Russell: Being chained in the doorway, naked and vulnerable isn't really a good time to find out your Dominant wants to explore their sadistic side a little more.
Pirate Russell: Talk,
Pirate Russell: talk,
Pirate Russell: talk,
Pirate Russell: and talk some more. If you have concerns that aren't addressed, move on. It's not worth the risk.
Pirate Russell: 5) You DON'T have a right to play "needy and desperate".
Pirate Russell: Who in the world wants to own someone that doesn't have a backbone and will submit to anyone for any reason?
Pirate Russell: Big satisfaction potential there.
Pirate Russell: 6) You have a right to respect yourself.
Pirate Russell: This means holding out for the relationship YOU want and not being talked into the relationship someone else wants with you.
Pirate Russell: You're submissive, not stupid and, if you're not going to be happy, you're only wasting everyone's time.
Pirate Russell: And, just any collar isn't worth your peace of mind. Honest. It *HAS* to be the right one.
Pirate Russell: 7) You have the right to enjoy this always.
Pirate Russell: If you find you're in a relationship that's bringing more tears, confusion and unreasonable or uncomfortable demands than smiles and "warm fuzzies",
Pirate Russell: take some time to pull back and see what's going on or talk with someone else about it,either your Dominant or a friend who knows the lifestyle.
Pirate Russell: The same basics apply here as anywhere; something's wrong if you're dreading logging into SL, or hiding from people.
Pirate Russell: You deserve more than that. Have the courage to find it. You'll be glad you did!"
Pirate Russell: Most of all I want to reiterate, you have the RIGHT to enjoy yourself. and
Pirate Russell: submissives have the RIGHT to wait for the right Dominant.
Pirate Russell: Questions and comments on submissive rights?
***NF***: took 6 months to find my Master
Pirate Russell: Well, this is going be a VERY short class if y'all don't participate
***IM***: If one finds that a dom/me isn't right for her, how does she go about breaking off the relationship?
Pirate Russell: Uh oh, ***IM*** do W/we need to talk???? LOL
***IM*** laughs
***CC*** giggles
***KC*** giggles
***IM***: This is girls only chance to make Mistress nervous. But actually girl had a dom who didn't want to let girl go.
Pirate Russell: It takes that 'C' word... communication. It may take an OOC: type of conversation
Pirate Russell: I know.. he he
***KC***: how long should one wait to submit
Pirate Russell: In the most extreme cases you can just take off the collar, in the LL Browser (if you dont' crash first), mute them, ban them from your land
Pirate Russell: ***KC***, I consider a D/s relationship like a marriage. Both parties should get to know each other very well, before anything permenant is undertaken
***KC***: thank You Miss
***MM***: actually i think this is a big issue in SL, most people rush into it
Pirate Russell: For Me and My Family, it's almost like a proposal of Marriage, when I offer a collar, and it's accepted
Pirate Russell: Yes, ***MM***, part of that is the time compression, an month here, is almost like a year in RL, not quite as bad as 'dog-years'.
Pirate Russell: This Halloween, I've been in SL 3 years, I have relationships that last a few months and it's like I've known them FOREVER!
Pirate Russell: And granted, some of us are playing a role, too. UNFORTUNATELY, I'm not a lesbian Dominatrix in Real Life, but a LOT of Pirate is ME!
***MM***: well yes thats another "problem" too many pretending being someone who they re not (both sides)
Pirate Russell: Yes, I can thell the difference between My girls that are RL subbies, and *cyber subbies*
***NF***: Hello Master
***NF***: nzkiss Dom
Nefertiti's collar: Nefertiti gives ***DR*** a big kiss.
Nefertiti gives Dominic a big kiss.
***DR***: smiles
Pirate Russell: Hello Dominic, welcome
***DQ***: But the question becomes, how do you treat the two varients? The same? Catagoricly? Individually?
Pirate Russell: I treat EVERYone individually. My two and a half RL subbies, are completely different, but what they have in common, is the level of their submission
***MM***: i agree most of D/s is very individual, what works for one might not work for another one
Pirate Russell: Hello, Max, pleas have a seat
***NF***: offers Master a lick of her lolli
***DR***: ha
***DR***: gimme a lick of you molly
***NF***: oooppss you nodded off got your cheek sticky .... licks your face ...lol
***DR***: laffs
***DR***: shht baby
Pirate Russell: Any other questions or comments on the subby rights?
Pirate Russell: Ok... now the other side of the coin, so to speak.
Pirate Russell: The following is taken Dominant's Creed
Pirate Russell: Above all else a Dom/me cherishes Their submissive, in the knowledge that the gift the submissive gives Them is the greatest gift of all.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is in control of Themselves first and foremost, so that They may control others.
Pirate Russell: In times of trouble, a Dom/me will leave the roles behind, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring individuals.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is quick to understand the differences between fantasy and reality.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me would never asks a submissive to put Them before their career, or family, or Rreal Life, just to satisfy Their own pleasure.
Pirate Russell: To win a submissive's mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, a Dom/me knows They must first win their trust.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me must always show them that Their guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of their attention, that this is a person they can learn from, and that they can trust Their direction.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me proves to their submissive that They are someone they can lean on, and depend on.
Pirate Russell: EEP, lag storm....
Pirate Russell: When it comes time to teach Their submissive their lessons of obedience, They are a strong and unyielding professor.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me will accept no flaw. Nothing less than perfection from Their submissive.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is always open to communication and discussion; always ready to hear Their submissive's wants and needs.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is patient; taking time to learn Their submissive's limits, and knowing that as their trust of Them grows, so will they.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me never has to demand ritual behavior from Their submissive. Their submissive responds to Them out of the want of pleasing Them. Compliance comes from the wanting to please, not the fear of punishment.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands the fragile nature of mind and body and never violates the trust given to Them.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me is secure enough to laugh at Themselves and the absurdities of life. Open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow.
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me's tools are mind, body, spirit, soul, respect and love
Pirate Russell: A Dom/me understands that E/each partner gains most from pleasuring the O/other.
Pirate Russell: And B/both of T/them know that love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.
Pirate Russell: Quesitons and comments on these Dominant Responsibilities?
***CC***: Is there some rules getting attenion, I hae had some Domme/s who seem to have a zero length attention span
Pirate Russell: I can be like... hey, let's go dancing!
Pirate Russell: he he,
Pirate Russell: not only short attention span, but running 44 other IM's at the dame time
Pirate Russell: er same time
Pirate Russell: You can't always go busy for evrey scene, but I minimize the responses when I'm busy
***CC***: Yes, but sometimes it seems they dont understand their own limits
Pirate Russell: VERY true, I'm shown new limits of Mine all the time. A 'good' Dominant, has to be willing to learn, to grow
***CC*** nods
Pirate Russell: More comments/questions??
***IM***: girl thinks it's part of the importance of communication. girl thinks that totally open and honest expressions of what one wants is critical to avoid guessing and mistakes.
Pirate Russell: I'm not a psychic! I screw up all the time with My RL hubby and I can see him, read his face and body language
Pirate Russell: Here I have only the typed word, and emotes
Terry Stilman: I agree Communication is key, it's the foundation, but what when it seems to become all that the involved parties end up doing?
Pirate Russell: If you're not getting what you want whether a Dominant or submissive, TALK to your partner!
***MM***: what do you think about so called checklists?
Pirate Russell: If that's how a conversation is started, then I'm for them, if they're the only crutch, then they're just that, a crutch!
Pirate Russell: As ***IM*** and ***KC*** can attest, I'm all about the "C" word...
***KC*** nods
Pirate Russell: ....... "C O M M U N I C A T I O N!"
***IM*** nods
Pirate Russell: I don't know what you like, dislike, limits, etc, if you dont' tell Me
Phillip Manning: @
***MM***: well, i form yself think you should leanr by talking, as you stated above, i really wonder if anyone ever reads them.....
***MM***: and yes i agree talk talk talk
Pirate Russell: I do like the checklist, if ***CJ*** gave Me one, and it was all stuff I'm not into, then W/w're likely not a good fit, and W/we should look around for somene more up O/our respective Alleys
Pirate Russell: er like
***MM***: but couldnt you find out by talking about D/s also? i think those checklists are so unpersonal
***CJ***: they're impersonal, perhaps, but they're also quite thorough
***ER***: I apologize that I walked in late, but is this a conversation about communication?
Pirate Russell: Yes, they are, I went thru one, and found things I either didn't know I liked, or forgot
Pirate Russell: And, to interrupt, if anyone else has to go early, the transcript for this and all other classes will be at http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com
***IM***: They seem a good way to make one think about her limits.
Pirate Russell: <--- Geek! I've seen about 4 of them, some are VERY extensive, even worked at getting them into a spreadsheet to sort by likes... he he ***IM*** giggles ***KC***: lol Pirate Russell: I'll include one or 1 in the 'show notes' he he Pirate Russell: er one or 2 Pirate Russell: Maybe ***IM***s! Pirate Russell: NOW who's nervous?!? ***IM***: meep. ***CC*** chuckles ***MM***: but the thing is... if i fill such a list (bsides learning more about myself, maybe) and had it to a Dom/me. you think he/she will remember what i checked after a couple of weeks? but by talking about it, i think you get a much better feeling than just getting the numbers Pirate Russell: I have to go back and refer to them from time to time ***CJ***: when i've used the list, it's served as a basis for communicating likes ***IM***: girl would think a good Dom/me woudl reference it regularly. ***CJ***: lots of conversation goes with it ***MM***: ok good to hear some really do Pirate Russell: BUT, they're also a snapshot of how the submissive felt that day, looking at it on paper. ***CJ*** might think, "woah, wax, cool" but then under the candle, she might hollar her safeword, cuz it's not as fun as imagined Pirate Russell: Or she was into it last time, but tonight.... not so much. ***KC*** doesn't know what half of the stuff on the list was. Pirate Russell: There's the opportunity for ..... Dum dum dummmmmm...... Conversation! Pirate Russell: Or wikipedia had LOTS of kinky crap in it Pirate Russell: Any other questions, comments, dirty jokes? ***CC***: who brought ropes? Pirate Russell: I'd imagine every subby in SL has some, ***CC***! LOL ***MM***: grins, what color do you want? *g* ***CC*** chuckles Pirate Russell: Last chance....... ***MM***: well and in general i d want to thank you Miss russell for this nice talk and informations ***MM***: and your time of course Pirate Russell: Well, thanks for coming, you can't come back unless you bring a friend, classes are Tue 7a SLT, and Thu 1p SLT! Class Dismissed ***CJ***: thank You, Miss, for a very informative class ***ZQ***: thank you Pirate Russell: And don't forget..... http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com/ ***KC***: thanks Miss. Pirate Russell: Prolly be up late today, or tomorrow, ***SD***: tyvm Miss. ***IM***: Mistress, is there a discussion on the blog for comments so W/we can continue the discussion? Pirate Russell: Comments are accepted, on each post ***IM***: Cool. Pirate Russell: When you go to... http://collegeofkink.blogspot.com/ 2008/08/05 7:58
No comments:
Post a Comment