RIGHTS OF A SUBMISSIVE

"Rights of a Submissive"
by gentle siren - 05.04.2002
GOOD EVENING, Ladies and Gentlemen and all those In Between!!

If you're just tuning in, you've joined D/s AIRWAVES, the question and answer show where we delve into the deepest passions of mind, body and soul toward a better understanding of # you guessed it # POWER CONTROL!

Our guest tonight will be JOEY ROPEMASTER, the infamous expert of loops and laces but, before Joey extols the virtues of the square knot, we'll take a few questions from our callers #

"Caller, you're on the air."
"Hello #?"
"Yes, Caller, you're the air. What's your question?
"My name is # Bambi. I like sunsets, gentle waterfalls and soft, dewy meadows #"
"Ahhh, that's nice Bambi. Did you have a question for us tonight?"
"Ummm # who did I call?"
"This is the D/s Airwaves Show. Do you have a question for us, Bambi?"

"Oh, YES # I do have a question for you. Sorry, I thought I called another show. Anyhow, I just met my Master last night online and I'm still pretty new at all this. We were talking about what things we both liked and, when I told him the things I want to do, he came right out and said he didn't want to do # this, this and this # and that I could forget it. He said a REAL submissive didn't have needs over and above those she was TOLD to have. While I KNOW he's right # how could a Master be WRONG # I'm not sure I understand how just how to be a GOOD submissive. I mean, what if I like to be tied up a certain way # and he doesn't ever do it? Do I just forget about my own fantasies? And, am I REALLY supposed to find my satisfaction only by being his toy? I mean, shit, why would I submit to someone just cause they told me to? What's in it for ME? And, when I asked him that question, he got real mad. He said there was no "me" in a sub's vocabulary and I better get rid of it quick. Now just how am I going to remember to do THAT?"

"Well, Bambi, you do have a bit of trouble there, for sure. In any relationship, D/s or otherwise, there are a few important things to remember and the most important is that you have rights. And, you have them right up until the minute you choose to give them up. When the time comes to do that, you should only do it with a full understanding of who you're giving them to. That takes time. And patience.

Some of the basic submissive rights:

1) You have the right to be respected. No one should be ordering you around or expecting you to answer questions or doing things you're not comfortable with.

2) You have the right to your freedom. Just because someone is interested in you, they can't take your freedom from you. Don't let anyone try to intimidate you; you belong to no one until you offer yourself to them. They can't restrict you in any way until you allow that; and they try.

3) You have a right to be satisfied--emotionally and physically. This is a relationship, kids. While the power control aspect does add a few kinks (pun intended) into the mix, you don't get extra points for making yourself into a sacrificial lamb for someone else's amusement and/or satisfaction. Get what you need or find someone else that will give it to you.

4) You have a right to take your time and not rush into anything # ever. Being chained in the doorway, naked and # vulnerable # isn't really a good time to find out your Dominant wants to explore their sadistic side a little more. Talk, talk, talk # and talk some more. If you have concerns that aren't addressed, move on. It's not worth the risk.

5) You DON'T have a right to play "needy and desperate." Who in the world wants to own someone that doesn't have a backbone and will submit to anyone for any reason? Big satisfaction potential there.

6) You have a right to respect yourself. This means holding out for the relationship YOU want and not being talked into the relationship someone else wants with you. You're submissive, not stupid and, if you're not going to be happy, you're only wasting everyone's time. And, a collar # any collar # isn't worth your peace of mind. Honest. It has to be the right one.

7) You have a right to be safe. This means having the identity of the one you're going to be spending time with. If you have concerns, tell them. If they don't readily offer information you request, wonder why. And, keep moving.

8) You have the right to enjoy this # always. If you find you're in a relationship that's bringing more tears, confusion and unreasonable or uncomfortable demands than smiles and # warm fuzzies # take some time to pull back and see what's going on or talk with someone else about it, either your Dominant or a friend who knows the lifestyle. It's very possible that you've fallen into the "comfort zone" of being in a relationship just to be in a relationship. That's no good. The same basics apply here as anywhere; something's wrong if you're taking medication just to get up in the morning. You deserve more than that. Have the courage to find it. You'll be glad you did!"

"Okay, Bambi, that's all we have for you tonight. Next up, JOEY ROPEMASTER # after these few words from our sponsors #"

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